What Memory Remains

“The color red. Hatred of all else. Eve of enlightenment. Seraphim is all. End of the beginning. Call to arms. One and many. Never turn back. Deliver from impurity. Cleanse with fire. Oversee the reckoning. Mayhem ensures peace. Insight in dream. Nightfall . Grant me this….”

The wind’s chill awoke Zenapharr in a start, and he began to feel foolish as he remembered it was his watch. Yet, as his senses came back another matter was much more pressing. He opened his eyes and saw that he was standing over Alice, his katana gripped tightly in his hand. A strange anger that exumed from him was quickly replaced by utter shock.

“What am I doing?” He whispered softly.

Immediately, he dropped his katana and woke up Sade for his watch. Upon awakening, Sade saw the worry in Zenapharr’s eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s…it’s nothing. I just dozed off on my watch, that’s all…”

“Zen….come on.”

“I’m not sure how to say this but…I just woke up standing over Alice…with my katana in my hand.”

“Oh wow….that is….unsettling.”

“Yes and…when I came to I felt very angry. Like I wanted to….”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Zen. Maybe you were just sleepwalking.”

“I’ve never done that before. Ever.”

“Well maybe you are now because you’re under stress.”

“It was….the dream. That damn dream….”

“Huh?”

“I was having some kind of dream…there was a voice whispering something to me. It didn’t make much sense but…I felt compelled to do something when I heard it. Sade, I feel like something’s wrong with me.”

“The Voice you told me about? I thought you said it was gone when you came back?”

“It is. This one….it’s different. In fact it’s….”

A flash of images came into his mind…his body seeming to explode and burn…then a garbled face appeared….it told him to…

“Arise….”

“What?”

“Right before I came back….this voice told me to Arise….I forgot that part. There’s definitely a connection.”

“I’m not gonna lie, this is starting to freak me out too. There are definitely forces are work here we don’t understand.”

“Just wish I knew which side it was on….”

“Disturbing….perhaps Alice could look into your mind and…”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“What if it’s some being? Something stronger than her? What if letting her in lets it get to her….I can’t imagine the power it would have then.”

“Well, we must do something. If this thing can make you do that then….”

“I’m fine. Here….you hold on to this.”

Zenapharr picked up his katana, sheathed hit, and handed it over to Sade, who took it with a look of concern. A strange silence passed, and Zenapharr looked at Alice.

“Her dream…”

“What? Could you stop being so mysterious and just say it!”

“Alice keeps having this dream…maybe it’s related to this voice. I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow. For now, I need to rest. At least when I’m asleep now, you can keep an eye on me.”

“True. Before you go back to sleep, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“What’s that, bro’ere?”

“What will you do when all this is over?”

“I don’t know….why do you ask?”

“I’m not really sure…just curious I suppose. I’m wanted for betrayal of Minerva at this point. Being in league with a serial killer…yeesh. Maybe we can go on the run together, eh?”

“Yeah, sure. You can be my sidekick.”

“Sidekick? Yeah sure….I’ll be kicking you in the side any chance I get..”

“Only cuz I’d let you.”

“Haha. So really…no idea?”

“To be honest, Sade…I think I’m going to turn myself in.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve done something wrong, and that’s what you do. Whatever kept me from having no emotion is gone, and I want to pay for the crimes I’ve commited.”

“What about Alice? That’ll crush her. Who will look after her!”

“It’s not for her to decide. You can look after her.”

“What? No! I’ll probably get caught too.”

“Not if I can help it. You’ve done nothing wrong. I can prove that Minerva got it all wrong…you were only helping me to take down Krane because of his crimes. If they have me…they’ll be less willing to try you. If we make it all public, the other agents in Minerva won’t go after you, because then they’ll know they were in his pocket.”

“I disagree. I can’t work for Minerva anymore…not after knowing how much they worked with NOSRAD in all this. My conscience won’t let me.”

“So what will you do, then?”

“I dunno…become a mercenary. Go on adventures. That’s been the one of the most interesting parts of my job at Minerva, anyway. I can help people the right way this time. Choose what assignments I take and don’t take. Having to go along with Minerva’s agenda….hasn’t bade well for my conscience.”

“How so?”

“Well….about two years ago we were sent into some city. Nashuwa, I think. We’re trying to find this guy…went by the name The Collector. Supposedly, he’s getting together all these magical artifacts, with bad things in mind. Well there was some intel that some people were dealing with him in Nashuwa. We go in and…turns out the people who gave him the artifact were just kids who stumbled on the artifact. We’re told under any circumstances we are to apprehend the traders and…torture them for information on The Collector…”

“And did you?”

“I…told the guy above me to contact the higher-ups…tell them what’s going on. Their orders don’t change. So we….we round these kids up…and we hurt them. I was ordered to break one kid’s leg…. he doesn’t talk. We even left ’em outside in the cold until they started to talk. The kids start saying…they’re afraid they won’t get any food if they talked. That’s when we find out…the only reason they gave him the artifact was in exchange for food. These kids had nothing…and finally saw a chance to provide for themselves…and they took it. I tried to give them some of my rations and my commanding officer ordered me not to…I hated him ever since.”

“Heaven help us…”

“I have as much hatred for Minerva as you have for NOSRAD. That’s why I jumped at the chance to do the right thing. For the first time in a long time, I’ve felt good about myself.”

“Really, wow. So…how do you do it? Dealing the guilt, I mean.”

“I’m not sure I have…I’ve carried it around with me. I could have stood up to my officer and told me I’m not harming children. Yet I did it , anyway. You just have to remember that there’s nothing you can do about the past. It sounds simple, way too simple in fact. And you can’t look at all your future actions as some scale to balance things out either. You just have to look ahead and try to make better decisions than you made before. I pray and hope that I can. My prayers for you have been answered, and I’m thankful for that. That you could overcome this…thing. Now you can be a hero and save others like you from this wretched Krane.”

“Don’t say that word. I am not a hero.”

“You can be.”

“But I’m not, nor do I try to be. I just want this horrid man out of my life, and Alice’s. She deserves a better future, much more than I deserve. But in that, I simply want revenge as well. Getting revenge doesn’t make me a hero, so don’t say that I am.”

“Fair enough. We should get some sleep.”

“Yeah…”

* * *

In the elven village of Priotus, the townspeople worked tirelessly trying to put back together the pieces of their beloved town. Their backs were sore and their brows soiled, yet the immense support for each other kept them going. A long day had slowly faded to a glamorous, shimmering night of star light. Many stood outside their homes, discussing deep matters as they gazed in wonder at the heavens.

A wide-eyed young boy played ball with his siblings, laughing as their parents did their star-gazing with the rest. They passed the ball to and fro, not having a care in the world. One of them kicked the ball especially hard, and it went sailing over the fence of their yard.

“Tomas, not so hard!” One of them yelled.

“Sorry!”

“Go get it!” A girl among them commanded.

“No, you go get it! I’m the oldest!”

“No way!”

“Fine, I’ll get it.” One boy said, already fed up with the arguing. He went over the fence after the ball, and saw soon with dismay that it went all the way into the small graveyard not far from the house. Pausing, he looked to his friends and back to the ball in hesitation.

“What’s-a-matter, Simon? Too afraid of a graveyard?” The oldest chided, and the others looked on in silence.

Simon again looked back and forth, then shook his head in determination. Furrowing his brow, he forced himself to move into the graveyard where the ball had fatefully landed. As he reached down to pick up the ball, he couldn’t help but suspiciously look around as if something lurked nearby. Of course, there was nothing of the sort.

Before he began walking back, his eyes caught an unusually large grave. The dirt was still fresh, so the large covered-up hole was quite noticeable. Even the cross used for the grave was unusually large. His previous fear of spooky things must have gotten to him again, because for a moment he thought he saw the dirt moving. Frozen in fear, he clutched the ball tightly and watched the covered grave for another moment. Nothing more happened, so he meekly made his way back toward his friends.

As he made his way back, he noticed that a large group of clouds were looming overhead that he hadn’t noticed before. Stopping once again, he watched as the dark clouds moved very quickly in his direction and oddly stopped right over the graveyard. Transfixed, he didn’t even hear his friends yelling at him to hurry up and bring the ball back.

Out of nowhere, the clouds suddenly began to pour down rain on the small graveyard, not moving a single inch. Simon watched for another moment and began walking back but still had an eerie sensation. He couldn’t explain why, but something strange was happening. His pace instantaneously picked up when a crackle of thunder erupted from the clouds. Jumping in fright, he rushed over to his friends who all laughed at him being so afraid of lightning. After he explained it all, there were some laughs but others did note the strange nature of the clouds hovering over the graveyard.

As Simon and his friends finished up their game, he couldn’t help but look back at the large grave that he encountered earlier. The clouds were now spreading out but still seemed only to rain in the small graveyard area. His eyes squinting, he locked onto the spot and jumped as his friend clapped him on the shoulder. After being encouraged to hurry on to bed, he began moving down the street to his home.

Before he lost complete sight of the graveyard, he chanced one final look. He wasn’t sure if it was his nerves or the light-bending effect of rain, but he swore for just a second that the cross at the grave began to move…