Chapter 43
When the book reaches more reviews, I will update more chapters at once ;)
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You see, people are always great psychologists when it comes to someone else, but they are quite blind when it comes to themselves.
When trying to understand yourself, feelings always enslave you. Despite that, I had always been decent at analyzing what was happening to me, around me, inside me. I always locked my feelings and emotions in a special drawer, a safe, and kept the key for later. And so, I had always been able to rationalize what was going on.
And today, as I was on my way to the airport, part of me knew I was in shock.
Emotional shock, to be precise.
When the words “Hello Bunny Doc” were produced by the wrong ~ most kissable ~ mouth, my mind and body struggled to process it. I was convinced that the words had come from behind him. Because Logan, my notorious but heart-stirring mate, could not be Rudolph. Or Rudolph, the pesky reindeer I had grown fond of, could not be Logan.
When my twin had rescued me from accusatory faces, questions, and heavy explanations, he took me back to my apartment, and I was not surprised. I was when he deposited me in our car, telling me to wait there.
Not that I had any intention of moving or going anywhere, since my brain refused to follow my orders and my heart was not pumping blood through my veins. Once Lachlan came back, after 30 minutes or three hours, I could not tell, he had two backpacks, one on each shoulder.
My stomach was churning as if I might be sick from a disease whose only antidote was the virus that caused it (my mate).
I asked no questions. I figured Lachlan would take us to our house, at the pack. I was partly wrong: he wanted to bring us home, just not the home I had in mind.
“Here,” Lachlan handed me a croissant and chai latte that he had bought at the nearby cafe. We had checked in and were waiting for our flight.
Neither showered nor changed, Lachlan wore a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I had not noticed how passersby glanced at my handsome brother.
He sat in the seat next to mine, glancing at the cell phone that had never stopped lighting up.
Since we left the wereball arena, every so often Lachlan checked on me, eyeing me discreetly but of course I felt the stare. Lachlan did not ask or utter anything strictly related to the subject M, M for mate….
Until…
“Your mate got a damn good punch, I’ll give him that,” The raucousness of Lachlan’s voice grew deeper and his fingers pressed against the swollen part, which was slowly healing due to the gel used during the wereball game.
It was as if Logan had punched me too. In my heart. Repeatedly.
“You know, I understand why you did not tell me.” He smiled sadly at me and wiped some tears from my cheek, “But why were you so angry with him, there in the stadium? What did he do that was so bad?”
I decided to answer a question with a question.
“Do you remember that guy I was talking to on the phone all this time?” He looked confused, “Yeah? The reindeer boy? And?”
“Rudolph.” A pang in my chest startled me for a second. How I wish I had a mechanical heart or be a cyborg.
“Well, he was Logan, all this time.”
“Logan ...” Lachlan looked confused as he narrowed his eyes, “Ah yeah, the Masturbator …” Then he gasped and turned towards me, spilling some coffee from his cup, “What!?! It was him?!”
“Why did you call him Masturbator?” I lifted an eyebrow.
“Just a nickname. But wait, did he know you were his mate?” His mouth curled downward, as he looked my way.
“I sent him a picture of me at some point and then-” I choked on my words. A picture of me with a very stupid, hideous face with nostrils wider than my hand appeared in my mind, remembering the type of face I made in the picture!
Oh god.
I stood up clenching my fists, snippets of conversation whizzed by, appeared, and disappeared, replaced by new ones….
I had told himI needed a ladder to climb my mate...to climb him! A ladder!!!
Oh no….
When I slapped myself on the cheek, Lachlan looked at me concerned and stood up, taking my hands.
“Oh, jeepers!”
“What’s wrong Yvaine?”
And when Rudolph told me he loved his mate, that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen or stated that he had never paid attention to anyone since the day he met her ... he referred to me! MEEEE! Yvaine, myself and me!
“Oh, my freaking capers!”
Logan told me he loved me. And he said his mate had cheated on him with someone else because she did not know they were mates!!!! I covered my face. Logan had felt pain when I had been intimate with Alex.
I was going from blushing to crying, from laughing to angry so fast that I bet Lachlan had a bigger headache than mine.
“Why would you have called him giant and what does it have to do with a ladder?” Lachlan asked me, puzzled after I had explained.
I went to touch my neck, as a habit and reassurance, only to realize that I no longer had the necklace. If I had decided to talk to Logan after this, how could I have looked him in the eye after all the awkward things I had said to Rudolph about Logan.
Things to Logan, about Logan himself!!!
My guess was that he knew we had been mates since the conference, and that he began to feel suspicious since he felt chest pain, during my date with Alex.
And he knew my identity thanks to the photo for sure… No wait, he also knew who I was because I had told him my real name! He knew that Lachlan was my twin too.
“I knew it! That hooded guy looked familiar.” Lachlan growled, pursing his lips. “Back at the party, when I saw you with him, dancing and smiling like you were radiating lights off you.”
“I just feel the shittiest brother, I should have connected that you found your mate!” He glanced at me for a second or two looking apprehensive.
“How?” I laughed, pressing my head on the seat, biting my lower lip.
He scoffed, “You are never like that with guys.”
I opened my mouth to say something but was interrupted by the buzzing of the phone. He reached out, spotting Uncle Andrew’s name as it flashed across the screen. For a quick second, we thought about replying, then he glanced at me to see me watching him carefully.
“Did you, um, tell them about our plans?”
Lachlan shook his head, “I already told dad we were going back to Scotland. He insisted on talking to you, even using his alpha voice but I said you were sleeping.”
Meanwhile the boarding had started, and we took out seats on the flight.
“Oh my god,” I covered my mouth, trying to stand up, but the seat belt kept me on spot. “Remember the chest pain I was feeling almost every day?”
Lachlan growled while I was removing hair out of my face, “I’m going to kill him this time, I swear I-“
I grabbed the fist on my twin, shaking my head. “He didn’t know I was his mate.”
“How do you know for sure?” Lachlan was just warming up, “What if he knew all along and just pretended nothing, just to play you?” His eyes darkened and his posture became aggressive, “The boy is a joker, a cheat!” His hand slammed against the front seat, a gasp from the front passenger was ignored.
“Do you know how many girls have cried for him and his idiotic friends?” He ran a hand over my cheek, in a gentle way, quite the opposite of his emotional state. Only then did I realize the tears. “They are just a bunch of stupid immature boys who love hunting and collecting females.”
However, I had never felt more chest pain since ... I frowned, squeezing my brain consumed with thinking, trying to remember when the pain in my chest ended. “A couple of the girls even dropped out of their pack because of their obsession with him and his other friend.”
“Oh, come on, Lachlan, stop this tirade.” I snorted, more bored than hurt by his comments about my mate and his past love life. “A group of werewolves in their early twenties, singles. What do you expect?”
“Neither I nor Caius are like that. And neither is Archie!” I snorted again, “That’s right. Gaius, you, and Archie. One found his mate, another had a secret crush on my friend for a lifetime-” when he blushed and looked away, I just went on, “and Archie…well, Archie is Archie. Women are either too intimidated or, if they go beyond the purple eyes and his size and decide to talk to him, they are completely ignored with kindness. But what about everyone else? Huh? Your wereball friends, papa before he met mom-”
When he didn’t reply, marinating in his silent anger, I continued. “And do you know why? Everyone knows that somewhere there is their sweet-” or bitter, in my case, “-half waiting for them. And nobody, not even one, wants to start a relationship that already has an end more certain of the first anniversary.”
“That doesn’t give him the right to play with other people’s feelings!” He snapped.
“And how do you know that Logan and his gang promise girls love and then abandon them?”
Before he could retort I changed topic, knowing that my stubborn twin was meant to become a lawyer for all his comebacks.
“What did Logan tell you? In the last quarter of the game?” Lachlan scoffed at my question, remembering when Logan and Lachlan had their tense moment.
“He said welcome to the family. Now that I think about it, he made sense. Back then I thought he had knocked you out after a one-night stand or something like that.” A dying sound escaped from my nose, between embarrassment and obscenity.
“Wait, you didn’t send nudes to him, right?” he gazed at me in horror as my face mimicked his. “Oh god, of course not.”
“What, wait did he ask you for it?” Lachlan stood up, breaking the seat belt, “I’m going to snap his-” I covered his mouth trying to stand up but was thrown back again (by the belt).
“Goddess damn! Why him of all the wolves?!”
He huffed and sat again, and gave me his signature frown, which was somehow rather pleasant, as far as frowns go. The specific frowns seemed to happen when he wanted to say something serious but was pondering his words.
“I can’t believe you’ve never seen the guy before. We’ve had so many wereball events, or parties, in the last two or three years ... ”
“You know that I always leave parties early ...”
“And he always comes late.” Lachlan concluded for me and shook his head, “And you avoided my games like they were sores.” I sighed, finding his hand, and intertwining our fingers.
“I can’t stand you being hurt.”
He kissed my cheek before asking me a question that made me feel guilty…”Have you told anyone else?”
“I just shared the news with Amaia, Makena and… Chie.” I admitted, playing with the hem of my shirt.
“Chie for Archie?! Our Archie?” He shook his head, “Really? Him, and not me?” Then I caught him smiling.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even know what to think of Logan at the time.” I sighed heavily.
“That’s why Chie didn’t call me back and his answers were so short!” Archie and my twin were great friends, and the great thing about Archie was that he was always honest and transparent, extremely loyal. So, he tended to avoid and omit a lot when the situation called for it.
“He did have a laugh or two when I told him.” I smiled embarrassed as I remembered the day I had told Archie about my discovery. Then I got an idea.
“Hey, could we tell him to meet in Scotland?” Lachlan brightened up. We had not seen Archie or Aurora for almost a year, but then he shook his head. “I think he is far away, in the mountains.”
Oh.
“But let’s try it anyway, maybe he can come. Who knows?”
I gave him a nod and I pulled my gaze from the sight outside, not really paying attention tucking my hair behind my ear.
" I still can’t believe the Masturbator is your mate,” Lachlan cursed a little more, running his hand that was not tied to mine over his hair.
I raised an eyebrow at him. Again with that nickname! He coughed, “The Terminator, it will take a while to accept that he is your mate.” I raise an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth curls upward.
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I let my fingers play with his hand, watching them as I spoke. “I still struggle to merge the two as the same person. Rudolph and Logan.”
“Any chance you may reject him?”
I gasped, pressing a hand on my chest. Even the idea made my heart protest with red tears.
“Of course not! He is still my mate.” I said breathlessly.
“Ok ok, calm down. I tried!”
He is quiet for only a second but to me felt like hours. “If I knew he was your mate I would have bit the shit out of him way more,” He cursed again, “When I could. Although there’s always the next wereball game.”
I looked at him slightly anxious, but I could tell he was joking, so I just rolled my eyes and smiled.
“Lachlan” I said so quietly a few minutes later.
“I’m sorry for my mood, and thanks for bringing me to Scotland.”
“It was time we went to visit the old pals! And what a better time to avoid all the drama?” He smirked at me and I chuckled, hugging my knees to my chest.
“Besides, I had to leave too.” I stared at him curiously. “Because the match ended in a draw?” Lachlan stared at me uncertainly before sighing, “Yeah, for the game.” He looked out the window and never told me that he had run away from a certain girl who just happened to have found her mate.
“I don’t want you to feel trapped, like you have to be with him. I want you to be the happiest person in the world because you are the best and you deserve the best. And if he can’t be the same to you, you should find someone who can be.”
I finally relaxed and adjusted my body, turning more on my side, towards my twin.
“I didn’t know you were a relation therapist among your hobbies, lachy!”
I rubbed my forehead, wondering whether I was ever going to feel normal again.
“We’re almost there,” he said tersely.
I lifted onto my tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you, Lachy. I love you.” My cheek pressed on his warmth chest as the scent of family lulled me to a dreamless sleep.
“Always, sis. Always.”
AN/ Next update: sometimes next week! ;) Keep checking eheh!
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