Warfare of the Brain

I envy those people that have

The freedom to be together.

Fate has a mean way

Of tying two people together,

And then tearing them apart.

I long for the time

When I am finally independent

And can break out from

The cage called home.

I long for the time

When I can escape

The tight, choking hold around me

Called my parents.

I long for the time

When I am free

And can run to the person

Who I want to be with,

Who I love so much,

Who can make me the happiest,

Who can appreciate me for me.

Anxiety creeps upon me

When we have to organize

When to meet.

Sadness seeps into my veins

When I have to

Tell you goodbye.

Sighs leave my lips

When I have to pretend

That I don’t love you.

Because I am scared.

I fear the day

When we didn’t tread

Carefully enough

I fear the day

When I have to

Tell and confess.

I fear the day

When I might

Be forced apart from you.

Because I chose to love you.

Because I chose to accept you.

Because I chose you.

Because I chose...

To hide the biggest secret

Of my life...

A secret that will either

Give me the greatest joy

Or the greatest sorrow.

A secret that has to be timed

Just perfectly,

At the precise, exact moment

Before being told.

A secret that will weigh

Months of hardship,

Tears, stress, panic,

Shouts, fights, anger,

To protect you.

It’s always for you.

But I am scared...

They can’t know now.

They must not know now.

Or you may disappear

Forever.

And I have to stand by

And watch.

“Please...”

“I’m begging you...”

“This is the person

Who I want to be with...”

“Accept him...”

“Please...”

I promised you

That I will protect you.

But can I?

From them?

I just want to be with you...

In safety,

In peace,

In happiness.

Because I love you.