Violet Fire

I sat in my room for a long time, trying to digest all of the new information I had been given. Dinner would have been unbearable without my new friends from the training yard. They kept the mood light, and kept my mind off of the vultures from the Council. I ran my hands over the journal again, my hands turning like my thoughts. Anything had to be better than stewing, so I opened the journal.

I nearly found something deep in the castle today, something that kept whispering my name. I tried to follow the sound, but I was called away by the arrival of my first suitor. When I came to greet him, something peculiar happened. His eyes became as round as saucers, and I was afraid his jaw would break it opened so quickly. He dropped to one knee and kissed the top of my hand. “My lady, the stories hardly do you justice,” he said, still with that strange look on his face. “Surely you are the fairest in all the land.” I thought Mother would faint she was so overcome with emotion, but nothing would interfere with her queenly duties. As she showed our esteemed guest to the grand hall, I kept thinking about the look on his face when he saw me. I want to see that look again.

I have had many suitors in the past two years, but this is the first time that a king has come to our court to meet me. I knew before he came that I couldn’t play with this one like I did the others. Princes and nobles bounce back easily when you play at love, but kings are more likely to declare war. I can’t say that I’m disappointed to have a change of pace, the other suitors have become such a bore. Their sweet words sound hollow when you’ve heard them so many times, and they really are very unoriginal. I used to feel a rush when they would whisper words of love, used to thrill when they’d take my hand or steal a kiss. But now I feel nothing. The poor sops always pretend to be broken hearted when they leave, but I am not the only one playing here.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the king, though. He was a widower, with a small child to care for. He arrived with less pomp than some of the princes that have come, but he carried himself with far greater nobility. He dismounted from his steed with ease, showing that he was younger than the gray streaking his dark hair would cause him to appear. He is taller than me by at least a hand span, and his shoulders are broad. His eyes are what caught my attention, though. They are as blue as the sky, sparkling with intelligence and life, but also tinged with sadness. He greeted Mother and Father, and then he turned to me. His eyes never left mine as he gently kissed my hand, and I felt a little thrill. He didn’t linger with me as many others had, but I caught his gaze upon me on several occasions, nearly making me blush. I have promised myself that I won’t rush this one, won’t chase him away. Perhaps it is time for the games to end.

I was interrupted by a knock on my door. I ran a hand through my hair as I called for whoever it was to enter. Lilly entered with a small smile on her face, a steaming plate of food in her hands. My stomach growled noisily and her smile widened.

“Thank you so much!” I bounded off of my bed and over, starting to salivate at the sight of the food.

Lilly nodded, turning to leave again. She paused at the door, looking as if she wanted to say something.

“Is something wrong?” I asked around a mouthful of food.

Lilly opened her mouth, then hesitated, second guessing herself.

“You can tell me anything,” I encouraged.

Lilly turned her large blue eyes on me. “You’re going to have to face them soon.”

I sighed, glancing out the window at the lowering sun. “I know, Lilly,” she slipped out just as I whispered again, “I know.”

Once I had finished eating I slipped down to the kitchen to wash my dishes. The few cooks and kitchen maids who were down there were shocked when I said that I was going to wash my own dishes. They were even more shocked when I saw their huge stack of dishes and offered to help.

Nearly an hour later I had to drag myself away from the kitchens. Once they had gotten over their shock, the girls in the kitchen were incredibly friendly. My smile slowly faded as I walked away from their happy chatter, my stomach twisting with dread. I knew what I needed to do, so why was this so hard?

I was hoping that I would get lost on the way to Claire’s study, but unfortunately I knew the way very well. As I walked, I thought of ways to begin the conversation, discarding every option I had come up with. I paced outside of her door for a couple of minutes, almost walking away about a dozen times. Finally, I knocked before I could change my mind. I waited… and waited, thinking maybe she wasn’t in her study.

“Enter,” she called, just as I was turning away from the door.

I pushed open the door and walked in to see Claire shuffling papers and putting her quill back into the ink pot.

“Is now a bad time?”

“Of course not,” Claire said, motioning to the chair across from her.

I sat down, and then my leg started jiggling. I forced my leg to stop, then my fingers started tapping. I cleared my throat a couple of times, but still couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“Is something on your mind?” Claire prompted gently, her own hands interlaced on the desk.

I could’ve said something tactful or clever, but instead, it just fell out in a pile of word vomit. “I need you to tell me about Aleia.”

Claire’s expression went blank, but her knuckles turned white as she clenched her hands together. “I’m not sure that I know who you are talking about.”

I sighed, running a hand through my curls. “Please don’t lie to me Claire,” I said quietly. “I found my parents’ study. I know a whole lot more than you think.”

“What has Derek told you?” Claire asked, her eyes guarded.

Derek? “All he told me was her name,” I replied, my eyebrows knitting in confusion. “What has that got to do with it?”

Claire looked out the window, stalling. “Aleia is gone,” she said coolly. “There is no need to dig up the past.”

And with that, I was dismissed.