Unhinged

Consciousness was a fleeting thing, but the few snippets I managed to capture told me I was definitely a door again. This time, however, the burning, angry presence of a bullet hole marred me in a through-and-through – a hole big enough to pass a pen through an inch below my apartment number.

The pain of it made it hard to focus, to stay “awake” enough to understand what was going on around me. Images lingered in my mind without context or continuity.

Some uniformed men and women scratching at a wall with a pen knife and sliding Tana’s orange juice bottle into a red-topped plastic bag.

A weeping Tana talking to police officers, gesturing at me where I leaned at an angle off the back of the couch.

Randall’s crumpled body surrounded by blood stained carpet, his eyes closed.

Mrs. Scrimshaw, Christopher-Thomas in her arms, apologizing emphatically for something to Tana.

A solemn Officer Holden gesturing at the woods from the front door, nodding with a sad expression.

A white room full of metal tables, littered with red-topped plastic bags, and the snap and whine of flash cameras.

The thump-thump-thud of a long journey in the back of a van, followed by the familiar warmth of Tana’s living room and the smell of new carpet and paint.

And somewhere in the eternity, Tana’s voice called out to me, like a golden rope to hang onto and pull myself out of the darkness. “Drys, I don’t know if you can hear me. I’m not even sure you weren’t a fever dream, but I can’t let you go. I made them bring you back to me after their investigation, after Randall was charged for the death of that poor girl.”

Her fingertips traced down my front, and I was relieved I could still feel her, that I hadn’t lost that in whatever had happened to me. Her palm lingered over where my bullet hole had been, which felt – better – somehow.

As if she could read my mind, Tana gave a sad laugh, fingertips tracing where the hole had been. “I got some wood putty. I don’t know how exactly to fix mortal wounds on a man that turned into a door on me, but I think I did a decent job.” Her voice cracked, and I realized she was not only crying, but had been for awhile. I ached to be able to hold her, to make it better, to show her I was alright.

But was I really? I was a door again, and with the replacement that I’d installed practically mocking me, what use could Tana possibly have for me now? She’d already negotiated with the police to have me returned, which I’m sure came with a great deal of uncomfortable, impossible questions, and I was touched she’d gone that far. I was essentially kindling in terms of usefulness, the thought filling me with a deep, wretched sadness.

Something soft and slippery stretched over me and with a shock, I discovered that Tana was stretching another barrier – a condom, she’d explained when we were picking out my clothes – over my knob. I was resting flat against the carpet, and Tana was wearing little more than a suggestion of lace that skimmed her curves and showed everything.

“I was wrecked, Drys. I wanted you back, I needed you back. Even though I knew Randall was in jail, I kept having these nightmares about being buried in the woods, and I prayed. I didn’t even know who I was praying to, to be honest with you, but I didn’t care if they could bring you back to me.”

Tana continued softly, as the cap of the clear bottle – lube – clicked quietly, cool drops sliding down the sides of my latex-covered knob. “And one night, someone finally answered. This beautiful Greek woman, she reached down and she pulled me out of the leaves and told me it was going to be alright. We walked right out of the nightmare, and she listened to me talk about you, said some disparaging things about her husband being an idiot, and told me how I could get you back. It took weeks of paperwork and fighting with the evidence department, and a lot of lysol, and telling myself I wasn’t crazy, but…” She bit her lower lip, studying me, taking a long sip from her wine glass before setting it aside.

Tana carefully folded the edges of her barely-there lace nightie away from her hips, where she was beautifully bare underneath, straddling me. One hand splayed over my front, the other on the carpet behind her as she lowered herself onto me, her breath catching. It took more wriggling on her part this time, but she – we – had gravity working in our favor, too. The tension of her nails digging into the carpet and against my front thrilled me, and I sent a silent prayer up to the woman that had dropped into Tana’s dreams for this excellent suggestion.

Transfixed by her quiet sighs and moans, I watched rapturously as my Tana slowly and carefully sank down on my knob for the second time, gasping as it finally slid in fully. I couldn’t help but thrust back up, my rigid body vibrating the tiniest bit. It was enough to make Tana’s eyes fly open, however, wide with wonder as a smile curved her lips. “Drys?”

She let out a little cry of alarm as my body bowed and grew beneath her, my wide, short knob lengthening into something between my door self and human self deep inside her, causing both of us to groan. She threw her arms around my neck as her thighs slid to either side of my naked human lap. “Drys! It’s you! It worked! Thank you thank you thank you Hera!”

She covered my neck in kisses between each “thank you”, taking deep inhales against my skin like my scent was a drug she needed to live. As she moved to kiss my lips, her hips tilted just slightly, unconsciously seeking friction. I wrapped my hands around them, leaning back and thrusting up slowly to watch the lust haze in her eyes as I whispered against her mouth. “My Beautiful Tana, how I’ve missed you. I’d die for you a thousand times to live this moment.”

Her head lolled back, her hair tickling the tops of my legs as I began to work in and out of her body, chasing instinct and sensation shamelessly. Her hands fell to my shoulders as she rode me at a pace that had me seeing stars, grateful for the condom giving me a little more control, content to let her lead me as she found her own bliss. She ground herself into me, burying my cock to the hilt inside her, whimpering against my neck as she moved faster and faster, all but pinning me against the couch behind us.

“Yes, yes Drys, fuck me…please baby…oh god..” I took the hint and grabbed her hips even tighter, driving up into her until her moans dipped in pitch. Moments later, her body locked up against me, her cunt tightening and fluttering as her nails dug into my shoulders before she went all but boneless in my arms.

She nuzzled my temple tenderly, whispering. “Put me on my back, Drys. I want you to use me to get off, I love that. I want to watch you use my body.” Her eyes sparkled with a new kind of lust, and I held her against me as I rolled up on my knees, stretching her out on top of the carpet beneath me without sliding out of her.

She raised her legs to rest her thighs on my hips, and I planted a palm on either side of her beautiful face, bracing myself the way I had on the dresser. We smiled at each other, and I watched the shift of her features with fascination as I stroked slowly into her: the flutter of her eyelashes, her teeth worrying at her lower lip, her brow furrowing with pleasure. I leaned down to kiss the furrow away, starting up a slow, hungry rhythm of thrusts that felt best to me, exactly as she’d asked me to. She nodded, mouthing good boy up at me, and my last thread of control snapped, sending my hips crashing into her gracelessly as I whined.

Her hand found my hair again as I drove into her, panting with need. “I know you can do it for me, Drys baby. I know you can fill that condom up and show me how much you missed me. Go on, lover, fuck me hard, take what you want, take what you need, come for me…come for me now…”

Her tone as she instructed me, half control and command and half just-shy-of-teasing, sent me over the edge so fast I was almost embarrassed. I cried out for her, chanting her name, mindlessly trying to root myself even deeper as I pulsed and twitched and shuddered, completely undone. I gently rested my forehead on hers as I gasped for air, my heart hammering with pleasant exhaustion.

She gathered me against her chest, letting me go boneless, tilting us to the side so that I didn’t crush her as I caught my breath. She stroked her hands up and down my sweaty ribs and back, tracing soft paths as she sighed with contentment.

“Have I pleased you? Did I do well?” I blushed, shy to voice those questions still, needing her praise as much as I needed her body moments ago.

“So well, my good boy. Absolutely perfect. You did exactly what I asked you to and I loved every minute of it. Thank you so much, baby.”

I tucked a broad smile against her shoulder, cheeks burning. I was a good boy.

After we’d rested for a moment, Tana talked me through holding the edge of the condom as I eased our bodies apart, and even that simple instruction was enough to stir my cock’s interest again. She also snickered at my stricken expression, which didn’t help matters at all.

She tapped my tip-filled, condom-covered cock with a finger, winking at me as she got up, gesturing towards the small room – the bathroom, she called it. “You’re definitely my type, Drys. We’re going to have so much fun. Now go get cleaned up, you and I are going out to dinner to celebrate your triumphant return.”

I tugged the condom off, looking with fascination at the thick white liquid on my fingertips before I washed them off in the sink. Tana explained, as she got ready nearby, that it had been several months since that fateful night when I was shot and reverted back to my door-self. Mrs. Scrimshaw had actually called in about Randall – the older woman had previously caught him going out to the woods at odd hours of the night, and realized Tana’s car wasn’t in the lot the last time Randall had let himself into this apartment. Randall had nearly died from head trauma the night he shot me and I fell on him – I was solid oak, after all – but had pulled through enough to face trial and spend the rest of his life in prison. Poor Sarah had been laid to rest properly, and her family had gotten the closure they’d been waiting so long for.

Once I was dressed in a pair of nice black pants and a button-up shirt she’d bought for me while I was in evidence, Tana smiled as she fixed my collar, her expression soft and affectionate. “So, Hera also said that you’ll turn back into a door every full moon, so we’ll need to repeat this when you transform so I can bring you back with my magic pussy.” She giggled and cupped a hand over the enchanted genitals in question, over the skirt of her beautiful red dress. “You should be able to stay human for the rest of the month now, at least, though she also said you’ll have more control over the change once you get used to it. Kinda glad about that, honestly – I’m a fan of your knob.”

She wrapped her arms around my waist and tilted her face up for a kiss, which I gladly gave her. “Your wish is my command. Now and always, in any body I can give you.” She cupped my cheek and patted it a tad too firmly with a smile, making my cock jump yet again. I doubted I’d ever really get it back under control, now that Tana had truly claimed me.

“Oh! And – um – well, it was kind of weird, but some old guy in a bathrobe or something knocked on my door yesterday, asking about you. I was a little freaked out, obviously, but he said you were…family? I don’t see how that’s possible, but I didn’t tell him anything, either, just in case. He left something for you.” She grabbed a small box off the entryway table and handed it to me, peering curiously into it as I pulled off the cover. Inside, a worn, brown leather wallet was nestled against a few folded sheets of tissue paper.

We sat on the couch as I opened the wallet, where a driver’s license with my photo graced the front pocket, declaring me as Drys Locke, a 32 year old legal immigrant from Greece, along with a passport and a small copy of my theoretical Greek birth certificate. A substantial amount of high-value bills and a business card for an antiques dealer were tucked in the back of the wallet. As I turned over the card – “Tell him dad sent you, and take good care of that beautiful girl!” greeted me in sharp, tidy handwriting, and an antique gold coin rolled out from the back pocket to land heavily onto my leg.

So maybe Zeus had learned something, after all. Either way, I wasn’t going to let a good lesson go to waste. I tucked the coin and card safely in the drawer of the coffee table and extended a hand to help Tana up.

“The Gods have spoken, I have a beautiful girl to take to dinner.” I smiled as she turned her face up to me again, wordlessly demanding another kiss.

I really liked it when she bossed me around.