Unforgivable

It had been a few weeks since Mara had taken over the pack and already the difference was being felt. It was far from having solved all their problems but Mara was doing a very good job of fixing the issues, step by step. As she had planned, many of the pack members had not attended the first training sessions and so were forced to do “community service” - that’s what Mara had called it. The playground was now repaired, a nursery was being built right in front of it, next to the pack house. And now some members were helping voluntarily in their spare time. Beta Steeve was happy to see life returning around the pack house. He was surprised of how merciful Mara was with the pack members, with everyone actually.

Alpha Sloan, Beta Aaron were in charge of training, once validated by Orion who had attended the first training sessions to judge their ability to train. When Beta Steeve asked Mara why she hadn’t offered him or thought of Alpha Sage, she replied as if it were obvious that they didn’t trust her and that he would have refused to leave her unattended, which was not false. As for Alpha Sage, the pack was afraid of his wolf so he could not be a good trainer, which was not wrong either.

Beta Steeve was surprised by Mara’s lucidity and realism despite her young age. He remembered when he was her age, how implussive he had been, the kind to act before thinking. At the same time, she had not had a normal childhood in a loving family. According to what they had found in Dr. Adicost’s notebooks, the abuse had started as soon as her mother died - in fact she had taken her mother’s place, whom the “good doctor” had mistreated until her death - and the rapes had followed a few years later when she was still a child. She was too young to cope with all the traumatic things she had experienced. Sometimes he wondered where Mara found the strength to face the pack when everyone knew what had happened to her and looked on with pity.

Pity she never showed to the pack members, compassion and gentleness, yes. Understanding and sharing in pain, yes... But never pity! Beta Steeve admired how wise she was. However, he could not trust her... Even though she showed a lot of kindness and benevolence to the members of the pack - Goddess knows how much they needed it, behind the closed door of her office she was again this cold character devoid of emotions. This made Beta Steeve uncomfortable. How did Orion manage to be around her without it upsetting him? Beta Steeve often wondered. He was used to his Alphas, one with guilt issues and the other with anger issues, but he knew how to handle that. With Mara he just didn’t know what to expect from her. She kept him on his toes, whenever he was in her presence. What did she really want from all this? What did she have to gain? Why had she come back? Clearly not for her father’s house since she hadn’t been there since she arrived.

He watched her work alone while Orion went for a run. She was still very conscious and little could disturb her concentration. Yet she stopped everything suddenly and stood up to look out the window. Beta Steeve thought he saw the shadow of a smile on her lips before she announced that she was going for a walk.Beta Steeve looked out the window, wondering what she had seen, before following her. Mara walked towards the playground where a little boy was playing alone. She knelt down in front of him and asked his name before offering to play with him. Within minutes 3 other boys and 2 girls were surrounding her and playing happily.

Sage froze at the sight of Mara playing with the children. She had a four year old boy in her arm who was laughing out loud at what she was saying, Ethan was his name. She smiled back at him. She was so beautiful. For a moment, Sage imagined her with their son if everything had been normal, if she had a normal family... His second thought was that he would give anything to have her smile at him like that. If only he could find a way!

As he approached the playground, the kids stopped laughing and several hid behind Mara who beautiful smile had dropped. Sage frowned and had to hold back a growl. He would never touch a pup’s hair! Mara scolded him like a child for scaring them. Sage took it so hard that he growled and his eyes changed colour, indicating the presence of his wolf. Within seconds all the children had disappeared. An argument broke out between them. Finally Sage yelled at Mara, while she remained calm and cold as usual. Sage even ended up calling her a cold bitch. To which Sage replied that at least she had control of herself and that for a "cold bitch" she led the pack much more effectively than he ever did. He shouted at her before shifting and running off into the woods.

He was not surprised to see Aaron waiting for him at the edge of the woods, with clothes for him. Sage was well aware that without Aaron’s unwavering support, he would have lost the pack sooner.

“Are you alright? Did your run help?” Aaron asked, handing him a pair of shorts and a t-shirt he had prepared for him.

“Thanks!” Sage replied taking the cloths.

Once dressed, he continued: “I don’t know. She’s driving me crazy! She’s supposed to be the calm in my storm and really she’s just making things worse. I have even less control than before! How can she be my mate, Aaron? She’s so cold and insensitive to me. And at the same time, she is so delicate and fragile. She is unable to protect herself and I cannot protect her and the pack!” Sage replied.

“That’s why the Lunas have Gammas. That’s what Orion is there for, it’s his job.”

“Even so! She’ll never be able to give me the serenity I need. She’ll never be able to help me control my anger. My wolf will tear her apart! I need a mate who will stand up to him. She’ll never be able to handle him. It’ll just remind her of the monsters from her childhood! After what happened to her, how can I put her through that?”

“And yet you can’t help but be attracted to her, can you?” Aaron stated.

“I know... I’m a lost cause. I just want to know that I’m doing to her what she’s doing to me! I just want to see her react to me. Anything, but I want to know that she cares about me. I would do anything for a flicker of emotion in her eyes.”

“I know but don’t do anything too stupid Sage. If you want her as a mate you have to show her you’re worth it. That’s more important than creating a reaction in her.” Aaron warned him.

“You know me.” Sage smirked, walking towards the pack house.

“Oh yeah, and that’s the problem.” Aaron muttered, following him.