Unforgivable

The pack found it hard to accept that Mara was now leading them, but no one dared to say anything. Too afraid of Sage’s wrath if anyone dared to challenge her for position. Many did not accept it and yet all did no more than whisper behind the backs of the high ranking wolves. After all, Sage’s tantrums were known to be uncontrollable and destructive, even if he had never harmed a member of the pack. It’s not the same if someone was threatening his mate.

Beta Steeve, like his son, had no confidence in Mara to lead the pack and watched her closely. Mara had asked them to give her an overview of the pack’s finances. Both were reluctant to provide her with this sensitive information. Like the rest of the pack, they didn’t like having to refer to her, but they could only agree that the two Alphas and Luna needed to get their act together urgently. The survival of the pack depended on it. The threat was rising and without them they would not make it.

Mara had sent Aaron away because of his hostility towards Orion and her. Beta Steeve had reprimanded his son, explaining that he should have thought of the pack and the Alphas first. It was their duty to look after the pack when the Alphas could not.

Mara was well aware of the resilience of the pack and the two Betas. She also knew that she would never get the information she had asked for, but she didn’t care. She would get the information she needed in another way. Orion was uncomfortable with the pack’s hostility towards them but that was to be expected. It had to be dealt with. They say: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.“. The good news was that Mara was pretty good at it.

Violet refused to leave her house to meet Mara and as Mara had promised she sent guards - who reluctantly went to fetch her. This almost created a diplomatic accident with Gamma Liam. Mara had to intervene personally and had managed to diffuse the situation with surprising ease. Violet had agreed to come on her own within 5 days. Today was the fifth day and there was still no sign of Violet... Beta Steeve was beginning to worry about how things were going to turn out. How would Gamma Liam react if guards showed up at his door again?

The more the day passed, the more stressed Beta Steeve felt. He was surprised to see Mara and Orion leave Alpha Sloan’s office - which they had turned into their HQ since she had taken over - at around 5pm and head for Gamma Liam’s houses. Contrary to what she had said, she was not going to send any guards. Beta Steeve followed them while keeping his distance, he wanted to intervene if things turned ugly. He was surprised to see them stop 250m from Gamma Liam’s house. Mara sent Orion away, who came to meet her as Mara sat on a bench.

“What is she doing?” Beta Steeve couldn’t help but ask Orion.

“This is as far as Violet has gone. She tries three to four times a day. Normally her next try should be soon.” Orion explained.

“Why is Mara so desperate to see her? Why her first?”

“To force her out of her house. You should never have let her close herself off like that. Mara wanted to assess her condition and since they were both victims of Niels she thought Violet might feel comfortable with her. After all, they had been through similar things.”

“How did you find out? You didn’t really know Mara before she attempted suicide.”

“I saw it all by myself. I dreamed about it for nights before I could identify those monsters. Those images are still haunting me so I can only imagine how hard it is to live with what happen to them.” Orion answered with honesty which surprised Beta Steeve.

Beta Steeve fell silent thinking about what Orion had just told him. His connection to Mara must have been powerful for him to see this. It was amazing to see the man he had become. It was clear that in those five years Orion had trained and was now more muscular. His aura and natural authority was that of a powerful Gamma. The most powerful he had ever met, actually. Gamma of a shewolf who couldn’t shift and who wasn’t the Luna of any pack, how ironic!

Suddenly they saw Violet coming down the street. She looked surprised to find Mara waiting for her.

“Hello Violet, I’ve been waiting for you.” Mara said to her with a warm smile. It was the first time Beta Steeve had seen her smile.

“Good evening Luna Mara. I’m sorry, I didn’t keep my promise.” Violet said in a hushed voice.

“At least you got out of your house. When was the last time?” Mara questioned her.

“How did you get over it?” Violet asked instead of answering.

Mara’s smile faded a little: “Not in the best way... But I found a way to make it work for me. You have to learn to live with your demons.”

“They never leave you, do they?”

“No, never. But you can learn to lock them away in the back of your head.”

“I wish I knew how...” Violet commented.

“Learn to forgive yourself first. Ask your wolf to help you.” Mara advised her.

“My wolf has withdrawn. I can barely feel her...”

“That explains how staying cooped up didn’t drive her crazy.” Mara remarked.

“I know someone who can help you.” Mara continued.

“A shrink like the one Niels saw who made him embrace his darkness?” Violet snapped.

“No, one who cares about the well-being of his patients.”

“No thanks!”

“He helped me.” Mara argued.

“I said no thanks!” Violet snapped back.

“So this is your future. Never leave home and lose your wolf. And what are you going to do about your mate? Doesn’t he deserve to be loved?”

“I don’t! I let him do this to me! And that day, he begged me to help him and I just... I felt pleasure and satisfaction in stabbing him. She... My wolf made me feel all that. She told me to do it. I’m a monster like him.” Violet says sobbing loudly.

“No, you’re not. If you are, we all are. This is the instinct of survival and self-preservation. You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of killing them. And it felt so good! We’re wolves, Violet. Even in our helpless girl form, our instincts are powerful. Your wolf gave you the strength to do what you needed to survive, to protect the ones you love. You can’t shut her up and muzzle her for that!” Mara explained in a soft voice, taking Violet in her arms.

“I don’t know how to do that.” Voilet cried.

“Let someone help you. I understand your dislike of psychologists, but you need help.”

“Can you help me, please? You are the only one who will understand.” Violet asked.

“I don’t think-”

“Please!” Violet cut her off and begged.

“Okay. I’ll help you. I want to meet you here in three days and in the meantime I want you to think about everything you love about your wolf and what you miss about her.” Mara agreed.

“Thank you! I have to go home now. I’ll see you after tomorrow!” Violet said with a shy smile but a smile.

Once Violet disappeared from her sight, Mara regained her cold composure and joined Orion and Beta Steeve.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Orion questioned her.

“No it’s not. We both know I’m not the best person to help her. But she needs closure and I hope to make her realize that she needs more than me. In the meantime, the situation can’t go on so anything is good to get her out of the house.”

Orion nodded in agreement as Beta Steeve watched them unable to pinpoint their plans or understand why they were doing this.

“I’m tired, I’m going to get some rest. You should take the opportunity to release your wolf and go for a run.” Mara stated.

“I’ll see you later Mara.” Orion replied.