Chapter 30
The pressure circling Sylvie’s waist tightened, lifting her feet off the ground. A warm, dry hand palmed her mouth just as a squeak escaped and a voice shushed into her hair.
“Princess, it’s just me. Relax.”
Relax? Fury and relief fought one another in her mind for the top position as she squirmed in Kian’s grip, stretching her feet towards the dirt. Then, as Kian’s hand lifted from her mouth, she hissed at him.
“Put me down right fucking now, Kian.”
He lowered her feet to the ground but didn’t release his grip on her waist.
“Just let me explain, please. Kerensa gave me the vial.”
She squirmed and pushed her body against him. “I don’t have the energy to hear it, Kian. Just let go. What you decide to do, or who is not my concern right now.”
“You don’t mean that,” he whispered into her hair. “We’re bonded. I choose you, Princess. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I just couldn’t- I couldn’t.”
His voice seemed to catch in his throat, and Sylvie softened against him, tears prickling her eyes.
She was sick of crying.
“Please,” she rasped. “Just put me down.”
Finally, he listened, pulling his arms away, and she marched straight for the path away from the tree, praying it would lead her back to the castle.
Before she took three steps, Kian’s hand laced through her shaking fingers, and he spun her back to face him.
“Please, Princess. Let me explain. Please.” A glassiness filled his widening eyes, and his throat bobbed. “I-I’m,” his voice cracked as a small tear leaked from the corner of his eye.
Sylvie’s heart squeezed painfully as he clasped her hands and knelt in front of her. The intensity of his gaze made her look away.
“Sylvie, I’m sorry,” he groaned.
Her eyes snapped back to his instantly, a silent question in her eyes.
“I know,” he answered. “I just need you to understand how much regret I feel for what I’ve done. I need you to listen to me now.”
His anguish rolled through him to her, making her body tremble. Something about him was so earnest— so desperate and genuine, her anger with him dripped from her body like snow thawing in spring.
Without speaking a word, she stared at him hard, willing him to speak before her frustration returned. Her voice couldn’t be trusted.
Taking a deep, slow inhale, he sighed shakily before starting, “At first, she was kind to me.”
Sylvie’s eyes squeezed shut briefly as she imagined the abused sixteen-year-old girl meeting the gentle, beautiful Kian, though the figure she imagined taking his hand wasn’t that of a young Lazuli.
“I was glad she was my betrothed, and we were happy for a time.”
“I don’t need to hear this-”
“But then things went wrong,” he continued unperturbed. “I left for the Earth realm to join Elias and the company we planned, and I figured I could stay away and not have to deal with her anymore. But then you came along, and plans changed.”
Kian’s phrasing and his rush to speak the words seemed off. Sylvie frowned, replaying the sentence in her head. ′Things’ went wrong?
“She threatened you unless I did what she asked. I didn’t know you were going to see it. So I thought if I just did what she wanted of me... Let her use me; she would let you go. And you left, and I knew you were safe.”
Kian ducked his cheek to his shoulder, wiping the steady drip of tears away from his glistening face. He smiled ruefully. “For years, I dreamt of you. I imagined it was you when she- when she touched me. When she made me touch her- I- Then you came back.”
Heart thumping in her throat, Sylvie pushed her ripped dress aside and sat in front of her mate, keeping his clammy hands squeezed in her own.
“I thought when we caught her treason with Zephrinah that I could be free of her. I thought my mother would see the truth. Who she really is. But she didn’t. I tried to stay away from her. I tried to stop her influence. But after you shut me out, and I saw our bond fading, she sensed my weakness. I don’t know how she did it, but I became powerless against her.”
He paused, drawing another breath, giving Sylvie time to process his accusations. If he was telling the truth, she had been abusing him the whole time.
“When you said, ‘things went wrong,’ what did you mean?” Sylvie asked softly, but the sudden rigidity between their hands and the tension in Kian’s forearms sent chills through her.
He didn’t answer; instead, his gaze flitted to the imposing tree at their side. “How did you find Trion’s bound tree?”
Following his gaze, she shrugged, letting him pull his hands from hers. His bound tree. At least she found his weakness. Now all she needed was a way to kill the already disgusting, deteriorating beast.
“I followed a crow.”
His brow rose, and his head swivelled around them.
“It’s gone now,” she said. “Do you know much about Trion?”
Kian stood, offering a hand to her as he answered, “Besides being Lazuli’s father, no. Nothing. I left for the Earth realm before meeting him the first time, and we had never had the occasion to make each other’s acquaintance since. Until now.”
So Lazuli told him nothing during their entire engagement?
“He told me Lazuli wasn’t his daughter. Demon-spawn was what he called her, I think.”
Kian nodded, his expression remaining the same as if the news was about the weather forecast.
“You knew?”
“I figured. What she’s done... It’s not in Fae nature.”
Goosebumps prickled across her arms, and she hugged them around herself. “What else has she done, Kian?”
He shook his head and turned, walking towards the path silently. The second rejection hit Sylvie in the gut like a punch. What was he hiding?
Sylvie tried again, deciding to share a sliver in the hopes she could coax his honesty.
“She told me he abused her after her mother died.”
The truth about her own heritage and relationship with Trion and his late wife could wait for another day.
“She said you taught her what love and intimacy could be like.”
A dark, disgusted sound rolled from his lips.
“That- that’s wrong. She’s a liar.”
The memories of the night Lazuli disclosed her abuse were injected into Sylvie’s mind, and a twinge of frustration filled her chest. How could he so easily dismiss the accusations? Would he do the same to Sylvie’s past?
Her hands clenched painfully, and she fought the urge to grind her teeth.
“Why is she a liar? She sounded pretty truthful to me. And Trion’s conversation with me didn’t exactly refute the claims.”
Kian spun to face her, eyes narrowed and jaw ticking.
“Even if it were the truth, she doesn’t deserve your empathy, Princess.” He gestured around him as if begging the silent forest to back him up.
“She threatened your life!”
Sylvie groaned. “Because she didn’t want to lose you! I get it. If I were in her situation, I would want someone like you too.”
“Stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, voice raising. He gritted his teeth and spun to walk away again when Sylvie grabbed his tensed forearm.
“Then tell me! Tell me what you’re keeping from me. I need to understand, Kian. I need to know what she’s done-”
His arm ripped from her grip as his chest heaved from the lungfuls of air he was pulling.
“Why can’t you just let it go? Isn’t this enough? Isn’t rape enough? After everything I’ve said-”
The rest of his words cut off as he buried his hands in his dark coils and clenched, more furious tears coating the top of his cheekbones.
Sylvie recoiled from his intensity and hugged her arms around herself as her heart pounded.
He was right.
Lazuli raped him for years.
Guilt drenched Sylvies’ entire being as she watched him falling apart in front of her, his breaths turning shallow as he panted, “I can’t- I can’t.”
Despite his out-of-character responses, he wouldn’t hurt her. She knew it like she knew the sun would rise the following day. She stepped forward until her head could rest against his bicep.
As she thought, his arms dropped and wrapped around her, holding her gently as he hyperventilated.
“I don’t want to lose you.” His voice muffled in her hair. “If I show you, I’m afraid you won’t want me anymore.”
Sylvie grew rigid in his arms, and she tilted her head to look at him, but his arms tightened.
“Kian. Let me see your face.”
The grip loosened, and she peered up at him, lower lip quivering at the agony in his expression.
“She ruined me.”
“What?” Sylvie racked her brain, trying to picture anything about him that he could be talking about. She saw his body when they first had sex, and he was perfect.
“You’re beautiful, Kian. Inside and out. At least you were when we were together. What are you talking about?”
Reaching up, she brushed her fingers against his damp cheek. “You’re perfect.”
He pulled away and shook his head violently before staring at the dirt. His face twitched, teeth almost chattering from withheld emotion.
Then, in a whisper, he said, “She dips her nails in molten iron. So it scars.”
All expression fell from Sylvie’s face as she watched Kian’s fingers brush the hem of his shirt.
“I will never heal, and her marks will always be on my body. She ruined me, Sylvie. I’m disgusting.”
Tears filled Sylvie’s eyes in anticipation as Kian’s fingers shook, drawing his shirt above his head. He balled the fabric in his fist and kept his gaze locked on the ground, body unmoving.
He stood frozen as Sylvie shuddered and eased her steps around him as if not wanting to startle him. It looked as if he would bolt at any second, his muscles tightening and flexing as she drew closer to his bare back.
The second she saw it, her hands flew to her face hiding her gaping mouth. Oh god. Shock settled in her bones as she took in the scene; no other emotion even dared enter her mind.
The skin, as muscled as his chest, rippled beneath hundreds of dark textured gashes from his nape to his lower back. Spanning from an inch to a foot long, his entire back was disfigured with lacerations, some fresh enough to have scabs flaking from them.
Scores gouged into every inch of him.
Scars upon scars.
Sylvie’s lower lip trembled as tears poured from her eyes.
“She did this?” Her voice barely escaped her lips as she shakily reached for him, rubbing a hand down his arm. The soothing touch was more for her rising fury than for comforting him.
“This is why you never let me touch your back,” she mused quietly, wiping her tears away. Her skin stung from the constant friction of her rough hands.
She rounded his shaking frame and pulled his crumped shirt free from his hands.
“I know I’m not supposed to say this, but I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
He quickly tugged his shirt over his head, squeezing the hem a few times, still averting his gaze from hers.
“I’m disgusting.”
She gasped, cupping his chin in her hand to lift his gaze. “No, Kian. You are still as beautiful to me as you were before I saw the scars. I swear it to you, on my life.”
Kian’s dark eyes searched her face, and she met him fearlessly. She was telling the truth. It was his nature that drew her in so quickly. No amount of injury to his body could make her love him any less.
“Kian, on the way here in the carriage, I realised that rejecting you because of what happened to her wasn’t right. And before I heard you two- together, I was going to tell you that I wanted you and that I- I love you.”
A sharp inhale drew Sylvie’s attention to his face, and she smiled at his wide eyes. She waited for his surprise to ebb and sighed when his lips finally dipped to hers, the soft skin encapsulating her mouth and drawing healing from their bodies.
Their lips moved in slow synchronicity, tongues gently brushing against each other’s lips, silently asking for consent to enter. Sylvie tilted her head and opened her mouth wider to accept him, sucking and sighing from his silky touch.
As she cupped his face and held him close, feeling the tension release from his body, she let another emotion come through. She was sure he would sense it, but it wasn’t directed at him.
They withdrew their kiss, and the swirling sentiment spread through her chest and cloyed in her throat.
Lazuli’s smirking face flashed in her mind as she steadied her feet on the uneven ground. “We need to go back to the others now,” she spoke lowly.
“What are you gonna do?” he asked, pulling her against his side and stepping unhurriedly.
“I don’t know yet.”
Lie.
She knew exactly what she would do. Rage flooded all her senses as she walked in easy silence. She imagined a wall around her emotions, hoping somehow it would hide her intentions from him, or at the least the seething inferno of hate she was fueling.
Lazuli wouldn’t need to explain. Kian’s truth was more than enough.
She manipulated him, raped and mutilated him, and Sylvie was going to end her.