Undying Hate~ Book Three

They lit the pyre along with the rising of the sun, the match striking the kindling as the first burning rays breached the horizon.

The shifters had removed their clothes and turned into their animal counterparts, howling and roaring and huffing as their friend’s bodies went up in flame.

It was quick.

Too quick.

Sylvie had no time to process seeing Natalie’s body wrapped loosely in muslin before it had turned to ashes.

Rosie sat on her haunches in her fox form, and Sylvie kept peeking at her from her place in Elias’ arms.

She looked well, not like someone who just had a spear punched through their guts. It wasn’t until everyone disappeared into the forest to change that Sylvie returned to the present, her mind racing between issues like a metal marble pinball machine.

“Where’s Kian?” she rasped, eyes still glued to the dying flames.

“He’s-” Elias’ voice halted briefly before saying, “processing.”

Sylvie nodded lightly against his chest but didn’t believe him. When she turned to look up at him, his eyes looked sunken, and his skin was unbearably pale. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just portal sickness. I’ll be fine.”

Sylvie jerked back. She had completely forgotten about the consequences of shifting back and forth between realms because she felt fine. The realisation hit her like a sack of bricks, and she frowned. “Go back home and rest.”

He attempted to raise his brow at her, but she could tell even that exhausted him. “Please. I’ll be okay. Rowan, can you help him?”

Rowan walked from the trees, tugging his shirt on and nodded. “Sure. Come on, big guy. Let’s get you out of the sun.”

Seeing Elias’s reluctant but far more pliant attitude, Sylvie bit her lip against the smile that threatened her and turned back to the pyre.

“So that’s it then,” she whispered.

“Not at all,” a silky voice replied.

Sylvie whipped around and sighed. “Claudine.” She had never expected to be so casual with Rowan’s ex, but the strawberry-blonde bombshell kept popping up randomly.

“Do you know any shifter superstition?”

Gnawing her lip, Sylvie shrugged. “No.”

“Well have you heard that energy can’t be created or destroyed, only changed from one form of energy to another?”

“I- I guess.”

“Well, we believe that when a shifter dies, their energy, essence, and souls become us.” She strode forward and warmed her hands near Natalie’s ashes. “Their memory can never die because it becomes our own, and their image stays alive in the minds of those who love them.”

The wind picked up, drawing a tiny speckling of ash from the pyre. It floated around Sylvie’s head before drifting off into the trees, and for a brief moment inside the tormenting chaos that was grief, she felt peace.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Claudine walked away like the weight of many memories sat on her shoulders, and Sylvie understood her better. She almost wished they could’ve talked longer, especially when Rosie materialised by her side.

“Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Well, I had to sneak up on you in case you were avoiding me.”

Sylvie pressed her lips together and crossed her arms. Nothing she said was going to make the interaction better.

“Vee... Don’t do this to yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Please don’t,” she said, breathing turning shallow as she fought back tears.

“You don’t.” Rosie mirrored her with crossed arms and forced Sylvie to look her in the eyes.

“Do you wanna know what her last words to me were? Huh? She said, ‘Don’t let that bitch take the blame. I owe everything to her. Tell her I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend in the beginning.’ Her last words were about you!”

Sylvie turned her head away, but Rosie marched along with her. They didn’t touch, but Rosie’s demeanour held so much stubbornness Sylvie couldn’t help but look at her again.

“I loved her, and I never told her.” Rosie’s lips quivered as Sylvie uncrossed her arms, lifting her fingers to brush Rosies shaking ones.

“She knew, Rosie. She loved you. Her last words for me were to look after you. And even though she didn’t say it, the way she looked at you- god... I know you weren’t mates, but she looked at you like you held the moon in the palm of your hand. I know she loved you. And I love you too, and I’m so fucking sorry it got taken away from you. I appreciate that you don’t blame me, but I can’t stop, and I won’t stop until Hayes is dead. It won’t bring her back, but I don’t know, maybe it will heal something-”

“Revenge doesn’t heal, Vee. It doesn’t. But if it saves others, I’ll be there, and we’ll kill that motherfucker. Together.”

Rosie pulled Sylvie into a hug, and they held each other, letting the tears fall and the hiccuping sobs escape. They shared their sadness. By the end of it, they looked terrible, but the weight on Sylvie’s heart had lightened a fraction, and she prepared a new game plan.

“Come walk with me,” Rowan watched Sylvie expectedly as she nuzzled beneath the duvet. After a week of mourning, she finally woke without sobbing, and despite her puffy eyes from the night before, she called it a win.

“You promise it’s just a walk?”

“I promise.”

She groaned and stretched like a cat before rolling across the bed towards him. When she was close enough, he buried his nose into her hair and moaned. “For someone hiding in bed for a week, you should smell way worse.”

“Didn’t I tell you I never smell? It’s a Fae thing, I think.”

“Mhmm.”

She jumped up and changed before following him out the door.

“Elias is at the office again, and Kian is... around.”

“I know.” Sylvie sighed, pulling her hair into a low pony. “I can feel it in my marks.”

Elias had been recovering, so he spent most of his time inside the home office, resting or working, and Kian had been relatively MIA. Both absences made her grief larger, and she believed it took longer for her to recover because she’d been lonely. Most of it was self-inflicted, from hiding in her room all day, only coming out to eat, but the loss of contact and affection from her mates had something to do with it.

“What ended up happening with Kol?”

“Kerensa took him back to Evergreen.”

“Without even saying goodbye?” Sylvie rubbed her arms and couldn’t even force a smile when Rowan laced his fingers with hers.

Was Kerensa disturbed by Sylvie’s recent transformation? She sure looked it before Rowan had pulled her through the portal...

“I was annoyed with her at first, too, but she said you’d understand.”

That only made her feel worse. Would she understand because Kerensa always seemed emotionally stunted or because her beast form was a horrifying, disgusting traumatising event...

She stopped her spiralling thoughts with an eye roll.

It was probably the first option.

“I guess.”

They walked silently for a bit, letting her gaze soften on the trees and forested space they walked through. It was nice, just the two of them. The shifters were elsewhere building the next structure out of the downed pines, and the isolation was soothing.

Rowan’s company filled her with calm, and she looped her arm around his without warning, leaning her head against his bicep. He hummed, twining his hand over the top of hers and kissed her head.

Brodi and Shan have recovered from the portal illness and have started planning a new home for the vampires when we bring them here. A nest, I think they called it.

“Oh cool...” she swayed against him, looking up with raised brows when he stopped walking.

Mind-link me.

His eyes twinkled, and his lips stayed shut as his voice sounded clearly in her head, the tone only a little more gravelly than usual.

“I can’t.”

He smirked, narrowing his eyes and lowering his forehead to bump hers.

You can.

“I don’t want to-” It brought her straight back to losing Natalie, and she wasn’t ready for that yet. It was far too fresh.

Okay. I won’t push you. But I look forward to the day I get to hear your beautiful shifters’ voice again.

“It’s different?”

Silkier. Very sexy.

His jaw clenching made a blush rise to her cheeks, and she tugged on him to keep walking as she contemplated trying it. It was just like thinking, but like, intentionally...

She sighed and kicked fallen leaves, picturing him in her head, picking the golden trail floating off his body and following it. She would stop if it triggered her memories, but maybe a few words couldn’t hurt...

The stream of consciousness she found reminded her of the tree-root systems from the fae realm, the golden light linking all things.

So how does this work?

Rowan’s head snapped to stare at her, but her gaze lowered demurely.

Do I just keep talking? Can you always hear my thoughts, or can I turn them off?

He groaned and stepped in front of her, pinching her chin to meet her eyes.

She sounds so fierce, just like you.

Stop flirting. You’re distracting me.

He bit his lower lip and hummed.

Shall we head home then?

She shrugged and smiled before spinning and walking back the way they came, their footprints still fresh on the moist floor.

Do you know why Kians avoiding me? I feel like I haven’t seen him in forever.

Her heart sank, and the mark on her chest ached. Did I do something wrong?

No, baby. He’s trying to give you space.

She frowned. Space? Why?

Rowan sighed heavily and took her hand back in his, threading it over his bent forearm. I wasn’t supposed to tell you.

Before she had a chance to get annoyed, he laughed softly. I will tell you. Now will you relax before you break the skin?

Her attention jumped to her nails digging into his hand, and she softened them, offering an apologetic smile.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

It’s fine. He’s just been having trouble with his abilities since we all bound ourselves to you. He wanted you to grieve authentically without accidentally making you feel better when you weren’t ready.

Her breathing hitched, the reason sending so many feelings through her body. He felt out of control, just like her, and he was so thoughtful.

“He could’ve called,” she muttered with a soft laugh, brushing her hair over her ears. Something about being understood and respected so deeply made her want to laugh uncontrollably and then cry—a lot.

“Actually, he couldn’t,” Rowan’s voice startled her and she raised her eyebrows. “He started manipulating Elias’ emotions over the phone when you were taken. He was still miles away at the time. I imagine it’s taking a lot out of him avoiding you. He’s been going hard on the wards to tire himself out.”

“No way.” It only got nobler the more Rowan spoke.

She owed Kian big time. Humming to herself, she nudged him. “And what have you been doing, huh? Swooping in to flirt.” She smiled, but it fell when she saw his jaw twitch. “I’m sorry, that was stupid-”

“It wasn’t stupid-”

“You must be grieving too-”

He turned his head away, his throat bobbing once as he swallowed.

“Rowan?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you if you’re okay. You’ve been there for me, and I never-”

“I’m fine, Sylv.”

But he wouldn’t look at her, and his skin took on a slightly mottled pink appearance, almost like he was about to-

“Rowan. Talk to me. Please. Look at me.”

When he turned, her brows furrowed, and her lips parted at his expression. A glassiness glossed over his eyes, and he worked his mouth as if to stop a flurry of words from tumbling out.

“Talk to me,” she whispered.

He met her eyes then. “It’s all my fault.”