Undercover at the MC (book 2) - Navy and West

POV: West

These past few weeks have been complete torture.

I'm tangled up in a web of lies, blackmail and idiotic people.

The things I now know about Jimmy, his father and what they did are too many to mention. But I agree with Jackson: the police are completely corrupt. Jimmy's father Jack is completely lost, but Jimmy completely supports his father despite his unstable situation.

They're pretty disappointed in me... Apparently I'm not passing on enough information to them. But in all honesty, there's just not much to pass on. Ashley... Or Vanessa... Acts very normal and I can't believe she's undercover with us. It's all taking too long for Jack and he is currently taking the final steps before confronting the club.

I pace back and forth in my living room pulling my hair, I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore.

I should have ringed the alarm much sooner...

I should have confided in Asher about my situation much sooner...

I should have confessed everything to Hammer much sooner...

Maybe it wouldn't have come to this and we could stop Jack in another way.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I look at the message, it's from Jimmy.

Jimmy: You're freed from your debts... We're going to the club now for the end game. DON'T bother showing up asshole.

SHIT! SHIT!

I decide to drive straight to the club and hopefully I'll get there before they do. Less than 10 minutes later and perhaps with a big fine, I arrive at the club and it is clear that something is going on.

As I walk through the front door I see Hammer giving a speech with so much passion and dedication that I am momentarily taken aback. The man is clearly stressed but also wants to do everything he can to keep the situation as calm as possible. I don't know exactly what Hammer, Steel and Ink know, but it's clear something is going to happen... And after Jimmy's message, I'm sure it has to do with them.

I'm trying to make my way to our President in hopes of finding out what's going on, and perhaps confessing what's been happening to me lately. I catch the eye of Asher who is looking at me with furrowed eyebrows, I have hardly been to the club lately and I have been avoiding him like the plague. A shot of guilt shoots through my body when I see the pain and powerlessness in his eyes and I know that I am to blame for that pain.

He has tried to talk to me so many times over the past few days and weeks but every time I waved him away or walked away. I couldn't face him knowing that I was actually betraying him and the club. I know it's not entirely my fault, considering the threats I received from Jimmy. But I should have done something sooner... I shouldn't have let it go on for so long.

''WEST! You have guard the gate, together with Rider!'' Steel calls to me and I tear my eyes away from Asher and frown at Steel. He raises an eyebrow when I don't respond right away, and when I go to open my mouth to say something he turns around and starts giving different orders.

I look around and look for Hammer but he's nowhere to be found, then I see Rider standing at the front door and I sigh before I walk over to him. We take our place at the gate and wait to see what will happen.

But I wasn't ready for what was really going to happen...

Jack has Vanessa hostage with a gun and is all shouting madness. Hammer is doing his best to calm things down and I envy the man's patience.

Steel, on the other hand, is about to explode, it is clear that he is very protective of Vanessa. One thing leads to another and before everyone knows it, Jack goes completely crazy, Vanessa tries to calm him down, but it ends with a bullet in her shoulder.

Hammer tackles Jack to the ground and Jimmy and Brady are also thrown to the ground. I walk towards Vanessa where Asher and Steel are sitting on the floor with her, I hear my name come out of her mouth and a dark look comes on Asher's face.

I run away as quickly as possible, in no time I'm back in my house and lying on the couch with an arm over my head.

It is almost inevitable that Vanessa knows that I knew about her, otherwise why would she say anything about me when she has just been shot. I get up and walk to the kitchen where I grab a glass and a bottle of whiskey, I pour a lot and take a few big sips. The liquid burns in my throat and for a moment I can forget what a shit show my life has become right now.

I don't know how long I sit there but suddenly I'm taken out of my thoughts by a loud knock on the door. I drag myself up and when I open the door I forget to breathe for a moment. Asher stands before me in all his glory and even though he has a face that looks like a storm, I can't deny how handsome he looks.

He growls softly when I don't move aside or say anything and he pushes past me, his scent fills my nostrils and I take a deep breath. I had no idea how much I missed that and this may be the last time I can smell him and have him close to me.

"What the fuck did you do West?" he shouts across the room and I cringe slightly at his tone and the fact that he doesn't use my real name, I clearly screwed up.

"I...I.. Ah..." I stutter and close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, I have to get myself together to have this conversation.

"Sit down for a moment" I mumble and Asher stomps over to the couch and sits down, but not before he grabs my glass of whiskey and knocks it back in one go.

"Do you want a glass too?" I ask a bit stupidly and he shakes his head.

"I want answers," he says brusquely and I nod in defeat and sit down opposite him and put my head in my hands.

"What have you done?" he asks more calmly now and I take a shaky breath.

''The day after... What happened in the club I met Jimmy again when I went to get coffee. He was very... Convincing and knew the right things to say, I was already so confused by what had happened the day before that I...'' I can't continue talking for a moment when I get to the part where I perhaps dread it the most.

''I didn't do anything... I... I... Let it happen'' I mumble as I keep my eyes on the ground and look at my shoes.

"What did you let happen?" he asks and I shake my head in shame.

"He gave me a BJ... He followed me into the toilet and before I knew it he was on his knees in front of me and..." I shake my shoulders, I don't have to finish the sentence and I hear him sigh deeply and curse.

"And then?" he asks in a cold voice and I glance at him for a moment but I wish I hadn't. Even though his eyes are hard, I can see that he is hurt.

''When it was over... I fled and hoped not to see him again. I felt so ashamed, so... Confused and bad. It was so hard to face you again, but I didn't dare to tell you either'' I say softly and I feel my eyes burning, I blink a few times to try to push away the tears.

''The second time I met Jimmy it seemed like he was waiting for me, I met him when I was walking home. I let him talk me into it because he said he wanted to be friends, he promised... that he wouldn't make any moves on me anymore, and I thought it wouldn't hurt to have a friend besides the guys from the club'' I continue and I see him shaking his head in disbelief.

''You should have seen a lot of red flags when he approached us at the club. Especially because we were... Pretty close back then'' he mumbles and I nod and laugh humorlessly.

"Believe me... I'm painfully aware of that now," I mutter with a roll of my eyes.

''He made himself very comfortable here at home, as if he were a child at home. We drank some beers and smoked way too many joints, I've never been so stoned in my life. When the evening came to an end, he tried to make a move, but in the end I rejected him and he left. A few days later he urgently wanted to speak to me and we met again at my house... And then it happend. He had pictures... Of us on my couch, in an... erotic position. And he had a video from the toilet at the cafe, which clearly showed what he was doing to me at that moment. And in addition, I still owed him a lot of money from the joints, he claimed. Now the money wasn't really the problem... The problem was the photos, which he threatened to show to you if I didn't do what he wanted'' I say defeated and I hear Asher sigh.

''Oh Chris... Why didn't you come to me? Or Hammer? You know we would have helped you'' he says, throwing his hands up in despair.

''You think I don't know that now? That's all I can think about right now... Why didn't I do that. But I was so afraid of losing you! And I was just so confused, I don't think I've been thinking straight lately'' I say and I feel a tear rolling down my cheek.

"I didn't want to lose you" I whisper broken and exhausted, I could really fall asleep at any moment... And then I don't want to wake up until everything is fine again.

"What did they want you to do?" he asks after a long silence and I shrug my shoulders and look into his eyes for the first time. I see that he is a little shocked by the tears he probably sees and a kind of softness comes into his eyes.

''I had to pass on information about Vanessa to them, they no longer trusted her. There just wasn't much to pass on, and they didn't really appreciate that'' I mumble as I stand up and look outside.

It's quiet for a long while, neither moving or saying anything. We are both processing the day and the past few days and the rest also ensures that my heart starts beating a little slower.

''I'm sorry Ash... For everything'' I finally say as I turn around and his tired eyes catch mine, he stands up and nods.

"I need to process this..." he says and I hang my head, not knowing what else I can and should do.

''Again, I'm sorry. I understand... If you don't want to see me for a while'' I say defeated with my hands in my pockets, I hear him shuffling and his footsteps walk further away from me.

"Have I lost you?" I ask softly, not knowing if he can hear me at all.

When I dare to look up, he is standing at the door with one hand on the doorknob, shaking his head while looking intensely at me.

"Give me some time... Just like I've given you time these past few weeks," he says in a cold voice and I nod, and before I know it...

He's gone.