Traveler - The Price (Book 3)

Chapter 6

Aaron:

I was so happy that Jo was alive, but I couldn’t understand how that was possible. I was overwhelmed by conflicting feelings, and my thoughts were going crazy. I was sitting on the porch, thinking about what to do next. For her, I was practically a stranger, and that made me feel like hell. I heard the door opening behind me, and the first thought that came into my mind was the hope it wasn’t her. I didn’t know what to tell her. I turned around. It was Deby.

“Are you ok?” she asks me.

“I don’t even know how I am anymore” I said briefly.

“Why didn’t you let me tell her about you?”

“Deby, I don’t want her to feel any obligation to me. If she remembers me, then it will get better. If she doesn’t, I don’t want to force her to feel something. I want her to be happy.”

“I told her about Andy…” she says sadly. “What if she goes close to him? I don’t know… What if she will be happy without you?”

“Whatever she will do, I know she will do what she feels, and that is the only thing I want for her.”

“But it’s not fair. What if she doesn’t remember you? Ever?”

“Look. I know this is a problem. I see how she’s struggling with herself and I realize there’s a chance she might not remember anything, but even though, I will not change my feelings. I know everything falls apart around her now, but as long as she stands on her feet, there’s still hope.”

“I hope you’re right” she says.

I couldn’t see on her face that she meant what she was saying. Her face was showing something else. Maybe I didn’t get it right, or maybe I misunderstood the signs. I sighed long. In life, nothing was fair, but I had to keep going. It would have been hard to see Jo with someone else, but all I could do was to wait. I was grateful for the fact that I could watch her, even if I winced every time I saw her. I knew I needed time to get used to the idea. I couldn’t be selfish, after all she had done for me. When I walked inside, I saw her talking with Ivy and Andy. She was laughing. Andy seemed to tell her something from before I met them, a thing that made her happy.

“You know… she’s strong. She has a tormented soul and a scattered mind, but I’m sure she can’t forget about you two. I haven’t seen something like you had” says Deby.

She stole me a smile. I was hoping she was right. I wanted her so badly. Why was I afraid to get close to her again? I felt strange because I was a grown-up man and I was acting like a sixteen years old teenager. I followed Deby at the kitchen. After a few minutes, we heard noises from the room. We both rushed back in there.

“What happened?” I ask.

“Jo! She remembered something!” says Ivy.

“I remembered you, Deby” she said.

Deby approached her and took her by the shoulders.

“This is good, Jo!”

“I remember you too!” she continues pointing at Andy.

I felt some disappointment, but I was also happy because her memory was recovering.

“I remember Stefan, Crista, all my life from Vals!” she says excitedly. “You didn’t lie to me!”

“Of course we didn’t!” says Deby laughing.

“It looks like we’re the ones left out from this equation” says Ivy to me smiling.

I understood her joke, but I wasn’t in the mood for it, so I excused, and I left. I went on the porch again, and I remained there all evening. Deby visited me at some point, but I told her I was not looking for company. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. After a while, the laughing stopped, as a sign they were preparing to sleep. I decided to stay a little longer because I wasn’t sleepy yet.

“What a quiet night!” I hear behind me.

I winced, and I turned around. It was Jo. I didn’t even hear when she opened the door.

“Did I scare you?” she asks.

“No” I replied unsurely.

“Sure…” she said laughing. “Can I keep you company? Or do you need to be alone? I noticed you are a lonely type. I can go back inside if you’re not in the mood for talking, but the others are sleeping…”

“Stay…” I told her.

She sat next to me. She gave me the bottle of beer she had just opened. I drank some and gave it back.

“I don’t remember you, but you can tell me something before my memory comes back” she says.

I stared at her and I blocked. I didn’t know what to say to her.

“We have met later” I whispered

“You seem like a lonely wolf” she said. “You’re quiet, and you have something mysterious. What’s your story?”

“This is me… I’m just… I’m…”

“Sad?” she completes me. “Look what we’re going to do if you’re not in the mood of talking. I will tell you what I see in you, and you tell me if I’m right.”

I nodded my head affirmatively, and a smile appeared involuntary on my face.

“I think you are a good person, but you shut down yourself because you lost someone. You want to seem grumpy and evil, but it’s just a shell, something to protect yourself. Am I right?”

“I have lost someone” I said stupefied. “That person changed my whole existence, and now it’s so hard to get used to the idea that I might never hold her again.”

“Might?” I thought she died.

“No… it’s complicated.”

“I think that person is so lucky to be loved by someone like you, someone who talks so sweet about her. I hope she will come back to you. I can’t imagine how you feel, but you seem like a person who deserves more.”

“I hope that too” I say avoiding her eyes.

That conversation started getting upsetting, and I couldn’t hide my emotions for too long, so I got up, and I took a deep breath. Jo looked at me, and she wanted to say something, but I decided it was enough for one night,

“Let’s go inside. I don’t know if it’s fine for you to be here, when everyone thinks you are dead” I say.

She got up, and we went inside together. I threw on the mattress, and I closed my eyes. I felt something struggling inside me. I got up. I looked around. Jo had the pillow on her head, and she was sleeping with Deby. Ivy and Andy were asleep too, and I rushed up on the stairs. I entered the bathroom and turned the water on. I looked in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell her the truth, but at the same time, I wanted to do the right thing by her. To let her remember and decide for herself what she wanted? I washed my face then I got down again.

I was hoping that everything was a dream and that I was going to wake up before she fell that cliff. I wanted everything to be as it was before because I missed the feelings she was awakening in me with every word, with every touch. But what if I have wanted something else? What if I wanted all of these to be a dream and I was going to wake up home, in my warm bed? I would have wanted something more. I wanted to have with me the family I had at that moment, I wanted Julia to be there too, and last but not least, I wanted Jo to be by my side. What a beautiful dream. It was a pity it was only in my imagination. I couldn’t even afford to dream something so beautiful.

Isn’t it weird how life is messing your plans just when you think you drew it to an end? I wanted her to come back so badly, than it didn’t occur to me that I got what I wanted. But I hadn’t been too specific when I had made that wish, and the situation was way too out of my control. The conclusion was simple: be careful what you wish for because you might get it!