Touched by Darkness: Chapter 4
“She returns,” Amenadiel says with a gravelly chuckle as he slinks out from the shadows. The cold night air licks at my pale skin and hardens my nipples hidden beneath the wavy strands of my blonde hair. I fight the instinct to rub my arms to ward off the cold. I know better than to show weakness in front of Amenadiel. He’d tear into me like a predator with its prey. Right now, he’s circling me, his eyes sliding down my body.
I pretend it doesn’t bother me. “What will it take?”
His face gives nothing away as he rounds me. “I need you to be more specific than that, Angel?”
“Don’t play games with me. You’re the one stuck here”—I dig my finger into my temple—“inside my mind, so I suggest you play by my rules and tell me how to escape Eden.”
“I don’t take well to threats.”
“What will it take?” I bite out.
A slow smile spreads across his lips, and he starts his slow steps around me again. “What makes you think I have the solution to your problem?”
“I know you do.”
“Let me guess, the visions have started?”
“Visions?”
“The apple,” he breathes in my ear, “the snake…” His whispered words slither down my back like the hiss of a coiled serpent’s tongue.
“What of them?”
He continues walking around my still form, his eyes darkening even more as shadows dance in their cold, soulless depths. “Hell is calling you to step into the night. Become one with the shadows.”
“How do I do that?” I ask carefully as his steps slow even more.
“Are you sure you want to lose yourself? Give up your light? Your soul?”
Am I sure? I can already feel my light fading, trickling out through the cracks in me. What happens when the last of it is gone? “I’m sure.”
Amenadiel sees right through me, smirking knowingly. With a shrug, he stops in front of me, his hands in his pockets, and looks at me through those dark eyes that see too much. “What will you offer me in return for helping you?”
“You already know what you want, so why don’t you tell me?”
“Isn’t it obvious what I want?”
“Nothing is ever obvious with you.”
“You have entrapped me here. I want to be freed.”
I snort. “Never happening.”
“Then I can’t help you.”
“You want to drink my blood and fuck me? I’ll let you.”
Now it’s his turn to snort. He turns on his heels and walks deeper into the shadows.
“Please,” I beg. “I’ve tried everything. Why did Heaven let me out the first time, but not this time? Why won’t the gates open for me? My wings are changing color. I crave sex.”
He turns just as the shadows are about to swallow him whole. “The gates won’t open for you because you haven’t relinquished your light.”
“That doesn’t explain why the gates let me out the first time.”
Amenadiel surges forward and bares his sharp incisors. “I don’t know why the gates let you out the first time, but I know what will ensure your banishment forever, so if you want my help, I suggest you help free me from your prison.”
I gaze down at the thick layer of fog that crawls along the ground and swirls around my ankles when I shift. Sheer desperation claws at my heart as I look back up and swallow my pride. “I’ll help you on one condition.”
“I’m listening.”
“You must promise not to hurt Daemon.”
He tuts and shakes his head. “Have you learned nothing, Angel? Morals don’t exist in Hell. What makes you think I’ll keep my promise?”
“Because if you intended to lie, you would jump at the opportunity to promise me anything, but you’re not. You’re a cruel, soulless man, but you were born of the light, like me. There’s goodness deep inside you.”
In all honesty, I don’t know if I believe the nonsense slipping from my lips, but right now, I want to trust that Amenadiel is good somewhere deep inside. That a small essence of the light, even if it’s just a faint flicker, resides in the dark depths of his core.
“And you’re a naive, young girl.”
“Promise me you won’t hurt Daemon and I’ll consider releasing you from your prison.”
He steps out from the shadows, his footsteps disturbing the fog that climbs up my bare ankles. “Any other promises you want me to make, Angel?”
“The deal with Lucifer is off. You will not buy me. And you will not pursue the throne.”
Amenadiel regards me for such a long moment, my lungs start to burn as I wait with bated breath.
“I tried to kill you. And now you trust me to keep a promise?”
I can’t decide if he’s surprised or angry with me.
I whisper the words I never thought would leave my lips. “I trust you.”
He steps close and palms the back of my neck roughly. I’m not even surprised. He belongs to Hell, and its touch is never gentle. Its words are never kind. “Don’t.”
“I trust you,” I repeat, and his grip tightens. A whimper escapes me as he leans down to whisper in my ear. “Remember when you saw the door after you locked me in here? I told you then that you wouldn’t find what you were looking for behind it. And you won’t find what you’re looking for now either. Are you sure you want to make a deal with the Devil?”
“You’re not Lucifer.”
“Trust me, I’m worse than my brother.”
Inhaling a shaky breath, I meet his cold eyes. “Do we have a deal?”
His lips spread into a cruel smile. “We have a deal.”
“What do I need to do?”
Freya is asleep on her front amongst a sea of pillows, her blonde hair moving off her lips with every soft exhale. She looks so innocent in her sleep, the way I imagine I looked when I first snuck out of Eden. No wonder Daemon, Alaric, and Ronan couldn’t pass up the opportunity to corrupt me. In a land of evil, innocence is catnip to a blackened heart.
Because I can’t help myself, I reach out and gently brush the strands of hair from her cheek. I’ll miss her when I’m gone. She’ll be my anchor when the darkness takes hold and sinks its talons into me.
“I love you,” I whisper as she stirs. “And I’m sorry.”
Leaning down, I place a soft kiss on her forehead, then straighten back up and walk out before I can change my mind. Or worse yet, take her with me.
The morning sun warms my bare shoulders as I set off down the path that leads to the gate. I try not to think about what I’m about to do and the sacrifices I’ll have to make. After today, I’ll never be allowed back inside the gates, and I’ll never again feel the sun on my face. I’ll belong to the night.
I drink up the sight of the colorful flowers, the bees that fly from petal to petal, and the green leaves that rustle in the morning breeze. These are all things I’ll never witness again.
I even stop to eat a berry, and its sweet yet tart flavor explodes in my mouth.
“You sure took your time,” Oliver says when I join him at the gates.
His bright blue eyes sparkle in the sunrise, and his lips spread in a smirk as I slow to a halt and tuck my hair behind my ear. “I had to say goodbye to Freya.”
Oliver looks surprised. “You told her you’re leaving?”
My head shakes. “She was asleep. Besides, if I told her, she would try to stop me.”
Reaching for my hand, Oliver pulls me closer. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I’m not sure of anything, but I know I need to do this. I can’t stay. Not now. My wings are turning black and I’m growing sensitive to the light. I even seduced you.”
I’ll always regret dragging Oliver down with me.
He cups my cheek and offers me a soft smile. “I’m not upset about it. You shouldn’t be, either.”
I peer up at him while he turns his head to study the gates, the white roses that spread like vines over the shimmery, gold surface, and the thorns, which I have pricked myself on before. “How do we get them to open?”
Before I can second-guess myself, I tighten my grip on the handle behind me. “You’re not coming with me, Oliver.”
He looks back at me, and his eyes widen when I drive the blade into his chest. It sinks deep, and blood pours from the wound in a steady stream as I pull it back out, then stab him again and again and again. I don’t stop wreaking destruction on his light until it flickers out completely. I keep driving the blade through flesh and muscle, every inch of me drenched with coppery blood. I don’t stop to let myself see the sorrow in his blue eyes. But I know it will forever haunt me, like the whisper of Amenadiel’s voice in my head.
“What do I need to do?”
He digs his fingers into the back of my neck, then leans down and breathes me in. His lips drag over my throat until I feel the whisper of his breath in my ear. “Kill the boy.”
I rear back, or I try to, but his grip prevents me. This can’t be real. Why would he ask me to kill another angel… in Eden? That’s the ultimate sin.
The unforgivable sin.
Swallowing thickly, I try to breathe through my growing panic. “Why are you doing this? There must be some other way.”
“Is there? How do you think Lucifer got banished? How do you think any of us got banished?”
A sob breaks free, and I push on his hard, unmoving chest. I can’t do this.
“Did you think sucking his dick would be your meal ticket out of Eden? Oh, Angel, wishful thinking on your part. Those are lies. Your own curiosity is what will ultimately be your destruction. You don’t swim uphill with the other fish; you stay and explore the sea. It’s what got you lost in the first place. And now you can never find your way back. If you want to reunite with Daemon and his friends, you’ll need to commit the ultimate sin. The one sin that will stay with you forever. You have to extinguish the light inside you.”
“I’m sorry, Oliver,” I breathe out when he slumps to the ground, his vacant eyes staring up at the darkening sky.
Dropping the bloody knife and stepping over his body, I place my hand on the gate as a thunderclap cracks across the sky. It creaks open, much to my surprise, and I slip through before I can change my mind.
Not that I have a choice. No sooner have I exited Eden, the door slams shut behind me with such force that I jump.
“I have to say I’m proud of you, Angel. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
My head whips in Amenadiel’s direction.
He’s leaning against the wall with a smirk on his lips. The kind of smirk that makes my skin crawl and my heart thud violently in my chest.
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
With a shrug, he uncrosses his feet and pushes off the wall. “I think I’m growing soft in my old age. I can’t go breaking promises now, can I?”
I snort as I set off walking. “Drop the saint act. You could have gone straight back and killed Daemon the moment I freed you, but you didn’t.”
He follows behind. “Could I?”
Frowning, I side-eye him.
“You’re forgetting one very important detail. I can’t touch him, remember? There’s a watertight contract, forged in the laws of the Universe, which ties my hands.”
I come to a halt as we near the forest. “You’ll lose your title and right to the throne.”
He keeps walking, and I hurry after him, my blood-soaked hair sticking to my naked skin. “So why don’t you kill me now? Like you tried to do before I escaped through the door.”
“I made a promise.”
I come to a halt again, and a sudden burst of incredulous laughter bubbles up from my chest. “You’re full of shit, Amenadiel. This is Hell, and there are no morals here, remember?”
He keeps walking.
I take chase, and he holds a branch out of the way.
“Nice tits. I like them covered in angel blood.”
“Fuck off!” I step past him into the forest. And just like last time, I feel as if I’ve entered a new world. The temperature drops drastically, and the silence presses in from all sides. There’s a haunting eeriness that caresses the sheen of cold sweat on my skin.
My breath is visible in the air when I spin around to face Amenadiel. “Uphold your part of the bargain.”
“Don’t worry,” he chuckles, amused by the distrust in my eyes. “I’ll fly us back. We can’t let you get lost in these dangerous woods.”
The way he says “dangerous” sends shivers down my spine, and I suppress a shudder as I follow him deeper into the night.
“How did you know I would create a new tear in the veil by killing Oliver?”
His big steps disturb the white mist around his ankles. “Every time an angel disrupts the tapestry, it creates a tear. It hasn’t happened a lot, as you might have guessed.” He winks at me over his shoulder.
“Are you saying I disrupted the tapestry by walking out of Eden the first time?”
“Yes, but I’m yet to figure out why the gates opened for you the first time.”
“You’re powerful. Can’t you create a tear in the veil yourself? Since you’re powerful enough to enter through it.”
Amenadiel ignores my question. “What’s your plan when we return? Run straight back into Daemon’s arms?”
My heart smarts. “Is Dariana alive?”
“I killed her in your dream. While your dream state affected you directly in this reality, I couldn’t manipulate the rest of the world through it. If it were that simple, I’d manipulate your mind and make you kill Daemon.”
The moon filters through the canopy of leaves overhead, and its silvery glow lights up the small, bubbling stream of water that leads uphill. It’s icy cold on my feet. “That’s… reassuring.” My voice drips with sarcasm. “I haven’t let myself think that far ahead yet. How do I even explain all of this? More importantly, how do I explain saving you?”
“Ouch, don’t mince your words.”
“You’re the one who should be worried. Daemon will be on the warpath.”
His masculine chuckle rings out in the silent night. “I can handle that pup.”
We reach a clearing, and Amenadiel waits for me to catch up. “The first thing we need to do is get you a clean dress. Don’t get me wrong, I love your tits, but you can’t return to the Academy looking like something straight out of a slasher movie.”
“We’re in Hell. I should fit right in.”
The only response I get is a slight twitch of his eyebrow.
“I’m taking you back to mine for a change of clothes.”
“I can just go straight back to Daemon’s place and change there.”
“You could, but there’s something you need to see first.”
I start to reply, but Amenadiel unfolds his wings and shoots up into the sky.
My eyes scan the clearing as a strange sensation washes over me. Amenadiel’s words come back to me: Remember when you saw the door after you locked me in here? I told you then that you wouldn’t find what you were looking for behind it. And you won’t find what you’re looking for now either.