Touched by Darkness: (Sins of The Fallen Book 2)

Everyone around me is so serene, oozing light and happiness. It pours off their translucent skin in waves. I used to feel that way, too. But not anymore. Not since I got a taste of devilish sin.

The urge to scale the walls consumes my every waking hour. It’s all I can think about. Late at night, I sneak out when the other angels are asleep. The gates don’t open for me anymore. I’ve pleaded and begged, but they remain shut, silencing the call of the woods. I still hear it in the breeze and in the faint rustle of leaves overhead.

Aurelia…

Freya nudges me with her elbow, and I drop to my knees beside her. Up ahead on the podium, the elders chant the morning prayer. Three times a day, we walk to the village square to worship the light. In between prayers, we have classes on the field. Life here is predictable, for lack of a better word. It never used to bother me to this extent before. I was always curious about what lay on the other side of the gates, but I didn’t suffer like I do now. I’m restless.

“You’re not chanting,” Freya whispers next to me, tearing me from my thoughts.

All around us, the murmur of prayer fills the air. If I don’t join in, I could get into trouble. The elders always remind us how important prayer is.

When it’s over, we rise to our feet. As the crowd disperses, we make our way to the field, where the elders wait for us. The sun warms my skin, bringing out the freckles on my shoulders and nose. I miss the cold and the nip in the air. I miss my breath visible in front of me. But more than that, I miss the night sky.

“Paradise to Aurelia.” Freya clicks her fingers in my face. “What is up with you these days?”

Lowering myself to the grass, I sweep my long hair over my shoulder. “Nothing.”

“You’ve acted weird for weeks.”

My eyes trail down to her naked breasts and then back up again. I avert my gaze and swallow the lump in my throat. How did I not notice our nakedness before I left Eden? Now it’s all I can see everywhere I look.

Oliver has the biggest cock of all the angels, and I can’t say I’m surprised since he also has the most impressive wings. “Don’t you ever want… more?”

Shifting next to me, Freya frowns. “I’m not sure what you mean by more. We have everything.”

“Do we?” I ask her.

Oliver and two other male angels walk up to us. “You didn’t chant again,” he says to me. His blue eyes sparkle and his blonde curls move in the gentle breeze. Freya preens beside me, combing her fingers through her hair. She’s always starry-eyed around Oliver.

How she doesn’t notice his big cock is beyond me. It’s all I can stare at. It’s impossible not to when it’s in my face. It’s not erect, so it dangles there. My cheeks heat, and I move back.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks me.

“I’m not looking at you.”

Peering down at his own body, he says, “Do I have leaves stuck to me or something?”

It’s impossible not to snort a laugh—well, it is for me. Freya looks at me like I have lost the plot. I’m starting to think she’s on to something.

Leaning in close, she whispers, “Can you please act normal for once?”

Oliver is a popular angel. She doesn’t want us to be ostracized.

“So,” Oliver starts, joining me on the grass, “why didn’t you say the prayer?”

“No reason. I was distracted.”

“Distracted?” he asks, like it’s an impossible concept.

It sparks my curiosity. Rearranging my hair to cover my breasts, I face him fully. “Have you ever wondered about the world outside the walls?”

He sits with his legs drawn up and his elbows on his knees. “Why would I ever wonder about what’s outside Eden? Besides,” he says, messing his hair, “we know what’s out there. Fallen angels, death, pain, and suffering.”

“But what if there’s more?”

His friends shift uncomfortably beside him. We don’t talk about the outside world. Our only knowledge is the stories handed down to us by the elders. “What if there’s goodness inside all that darkness? What if we need pain to truly appreciate bliss?”

“Aurelia,” Freya whispers, a look of embarrassment crossing her features.

“Think about it.” I’m on a roll. “How can you love without pain?”

“In pain, there is no fear,” Oliver counters, and I roll my eyes. It’s like describing red to a colorblind person.

“Life is not a Bible, Oliver. You’re not a robot without emotions.” Even as I say it, I know it’s not entirely true. There are lots of feelings we’re not subjected to here in our world. Negative emotions, like the annoyance inside me now, exist only on the outside. It’s how I know what happened to me was not a dream. I escaped the garden once, and the feelings I gained are still with me. I can never forget how my heart sped up at the taste of a kiss. Thinking about it now hardens my nipples, and I blush before I can stop myself.

Reaching out, Oliver brushes his finger over my burning cheek. “You’re red.”

Of course, he doesn’t know what blushing is or why it happens. I also can’t use the sun as an excuse because it’s never too hot here. Everything is just so… perfect. It’s making me antsy. I peer behind me at the walls in the distance. The top of them is visible through the trees. I’m a fish in a bowl. A Santa in a snow globe. I’m trapped.

“Hey…” Oliver brings my attention back to him with a finger below my chin. “Where are these thoughts coming from?”

Oliver has never touched me before. I don’t admire his big wingspan or the blinding shimmer of his skin, so he never pays me much attention. Virtuous as he may be, he likes to be praised. It soothes something inside me to know that even here in Paradise, flaws exist.

Gazing into his eyes, I search for something but return blank. His sparkling blue irises have no hints of flames or devilishness. They’re as still and pure as a clear lagoon. I look away. “It’s nothing, Oliver. I’m being silly.”

His gaze lingers on me for a moment longer before he rises to his feet when the elders cross the grass.

“What was that?” Freya whispers while we bow. The elders sweep their eyes over the class, smiling softly. They radiate beauty, kindness, and compassion. With their blonde hair and shimmering skin, they take your breath away.

“Talk to me,” Freya urges when the class is finished and we’re on our way to our house. Why won’t she drop it?

“There’s nothing to say,” I reply, keeping my gaze forward.

She pulls me to a stop outside our door. “You’re lying. Why won’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” I tell her, looking around for listening ears. “But you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Frowning, she watches me open the door. “Maybe you should try me.”

I sigh, walking in. She follows me and shuts the door before leaning back against it with her arms crossed.

“Well?”

“Fine.” I plop down onto the wooden chair at the small, circular table by the window. It’s open, so I lean forward and pull it shut. You can never be too careful.

Pushing off the door, Freya drags out a chair across from me.

I don’t know how to say it, so I blurt, “I escaped Eden, but then I got kidnapped by three fallen angels and taken to Hell. I fled and tried to get back in, but the gates wouldn’t open. Then I found a way in through my mind.”

She simply blinks, staring at me. Her mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out.

I cringe. “Say something.”

“You escaped Eden and got kidnapped by fallen angels.”

“Yes.”

“And then you found a way back through your ‘mind?’”

“Yes, there was a tear in the veil.”

“A tear in the veil?” She blinks again.

Shifting in my chair, I pull a face. “I know how it sounds.”

She laughs. Lightly at first, but then it bubbles out of her. She can’t stop. I knew this would happen, so I didn’t want to tell her.

“Okay, okay.” She tries to control herself, but fails miserably. “I want to believe you, I really do. But you haven’t been gone. You’ve been here every day, Aurelia.”

“I can’t explain it…”

She wipes tears from her eyes. “I’ll humor you. What are you going to do?”

If only I had an answer to that. How do you get yourself kicked out of Eden? And do I want to leave?

Yes, I do.

I can’t live out my existence in here knowing what I do.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “What can I do?”

She regards me for a moment before leaning forward and taking my hand. “So, maybe I find this all crazy and hard to believe, but I’m here for you, Aurelia. You’re my best friend. You know that, right? Whenever you need to talk, I’m here. I promise to listen and not judge. Even when I struggle to understand. Deal?”

My lips twitch. “Deal.”

Satisfied, she nods, relaxing back into her seat. “So, kidnapped by fallen angels, huh? What were they like?”

When I smirk, her eyes widen. Whether she believes me or not, she’s drawn in. Even I’m questioning the legitimacy of my claims as I think back to Daemon, Alaric, and Ronan. It seems so far away. So distant, like a foggy memory. But no… memories press on my mind. I’ve witnessed things and experienced emotions I never knew existed. I have tasted desire, jealousy, and heartbreak. It can’t all be my imagination.

Nudging my knee with hers, she says, “Go on, don’t hold out on me.”

A blush creeps up my neck before I can stop it, and my cheeks flame.

“Oh, girl,” she says, her eyes wide. “You have it bad!”

Chewing on my lip, I regard her. I want to tell her the truth, but where do I start? How can I explain what happened to me? Some parts I don’t want to tell her. Freya is happy here in Eden. This is her home. If I told her about desire and death, I could put her at risk. “The stories were true. The fallen angels have hair as dark as night, smoky eyes with flames flickering in their depths, and majestic black wings.”

“You’re swooning.”

A laugh rips free from my mouth. “Maybe I am.” Growing serious, I reach for her hand. “There is so much I want to tell you, but I can’t. Eden is your home. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your safety here.”

She looks skeptical, but lets it go. “What can you tell me that’s within safe boundaries?”

My smile breaks free again. “They can conjure hellfire with a click of their fingers.”