Torn (All Torn Up Book 1)

Tor ~ age twenty-two

Ember ~ age twenty-two

‘Did you tell him yet?’ I ask her softly. Her breathing is soft and even in the dim room next to me, but I know she’s awake.

‘Not yet.’

I turn on my side and prop my head up on my arm.

‘You have to tell him, Em.’

‘I know…I just don’t want to hurt him. I don’t think he’ll understand.’

I reach across the bed and touch her hand. ‘He loves you. He’ll understand. Trust me, he just wants you to be happy.’

‘I know…but I’m afraid he’ll think it’s like I’m leaving him in a way,’ she lets out a shaky sigh. ‘And I’m not. I just want to do my own thing. I’m always going to be Asher’s wife in Ashes & Embers, ya know? They think of me as a backup singer. People don’t see me as anything else. In my own band, I’ll be me.’ She turns her head towards me. ‘Does that make sense?’

‘It does. You have to do what’s good for you, Ember. You can’t just be Asher’s wife and Kenzi’s mom, you have to be you, too. You’re an amazing singer, and I think your own band will do awesome. An all-girl rock band is fuckin’ kick ass. I think he’ll be proud of you.’

‘I hope so.’

Sitting up, I squint at the digital clock next to their bed. It’s almost five pm.

‘Do you feel any better?’ I ask. Earlier today she got sick to her stomach, became dizzy, and then fell in the kitchen. She’s sure it’s just the flu, but she asked me to stay with her while she rested in bed in case she felt sick again. Asher’s away for the weekend with his dad, but when I wanted to call him to let him know she was sick, she made me promise not to so he wouldn’t rush home.

‘A little bit. Just tired.’

‘You keep resting. I’ll make Kenzi some grilled cheese, and keep her busy until bed time. I’ll check on you in a little while. Okay?’

‘I know I say this a hundred times a week, but I don’t know what we’d do without you. You’re always so good to us. Our other husband.’ She smiles at the joke and rolls over onto her side to sleep.

We have this joke where Ash and Ember call me their other husband. Usually it’s funny.

Sometimes, it’s not.

Tor

Her skin is soft and dewy from the shower, inviting caresses and kisses over every curve, and I can’t get enough of her. She sighs and writhes like a sultry snake beneath me, her nails digging into my back as she arches up to press her body against mine. Her lust and love for me equals mine for her, and that has made chemistry explosive between us.

Rolling over onto my back, I pull her on top of me and she’s already a step ahead of me, knowing exactly what I want and need. Her body moves tantalizingly slow on top of me, like she’s savoring every inch, every breath, every touch. She takes my cock into her with a long, smooth descent, then lifts herself up even slower ’til she reaches my tip before lowering down onto me again, repeating this over and over. There’s no rush, no crazy bouncing up and down, no slamming of bodies. Her body dances effortlessly with mine, like we were made to be one since the beginning of time. There’s no rush to reach an end because there is no end. Her eyes fall closed, her pouty lips parting with the ecstasy of my body filling hers as she makes love to me like we have forever.

And she made me believe that we did have forever.

I’m love struck, enraptured with the sensual, lustful way her body takes ownership of mine. I can’t move. I don’t want to move. No woman has ever taken me before. Not like this – not so completely, so honestly, with such raw and uninhibited desire and passion. No woman has ever wanted me this way or made me feel so utterly and completely adored. And within that she has given herself to me just as completely. She holds back nothing and gives everything.

This is what I have been wanting and waiting for so long. This indescribable connection.

My hands tighten around her waist, more to remind myself that’s she’s real than any other reason. Everything else begins to fade away. The doubts. The black cloud hanging over us.

No way in fucking hell am I ever letting this go. I’m never letting her go.

Her soft moans drag my gaze up her body to rest on her beautiful face, her eyes fluttering open at that same moment to meet mine, and her lips curve into the smile that changed my life so many years ago.

She leans down to kiss me, her breasts swaying, nipples brushing against my chest. She’s the sexiest, most loving creature I’ve ever met in my life. Everything about this girl defies her age and her time on this planet.

A week ago she whispered in my ear that she was born to be mine, and I believe it.

The beeping of her cell phone alarm wakes us both. It’s a harsh reminder that she has to go home. She stirs and I hug her tighter to me under the light blanket. Her naked body is so warm and soft, snuggled perfectly against me. Diogee and Kitten have wandered in and are sleeping on the foot of the bed with us.

This is my family now, and I don’t like the other half of me leaving every night.

‘I have to go, hon,’ she whispers, kissing my chest.

I groan and loosen my arm from her so she can climb out of bed to find her clothes. The all too familiar knot grows in my chest as I watch her.

‘I hate this, Kenzi.’ I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and pull on my sweatpants.

‘I don’t like it, either.’

‘I want you sleeping with me all night and waking up with me. You leaving my bed feels like a booty call.’

She pulls on her shirt and makes a face at me. ‘It’s not a booty call, Tor.’

‘I can’t do this forever.’

‘What are you saying?’ Her voice wavers with the first onset of fear. ‘You want to break up?’

‘Absolutely not. I’m saying I want you to live with me so you don’t have to leave in the middle of the night.’

She stares at me, one leg in her jeans and the other out. ‘Live with you?’

‘Would you want to? If we can get through the wrath of Asher?’

She steps into the other leg of her jeans. ‘I’d move in tomorrow if I could. Why do you think I’m here so much now?’

‘To play with the pets?’ I tease.

‘Well, they are cute,’ she replies playfully. ‘But you’re much cuter.’

‘I’m gonna ignore that. I’m serious, Kenz. As soon as it’s possible, I want you to move in with me. Will you think about it?’

She steps into her shoes. ‘I don’t have to think about it. I already know that’s what I want.’

‘I want you to think about it anyway, it’s a big decision. And we still have a lot to get through. I just wanted you to know that’s what I want.’

I walk her to her car and watch her drive down the dark street, then go back to bed to wait for her to send me a text letting me know that she’s home. This is definitely a part of our relationship that’s driving me crazy because I don’t like her having to leave every night. I want us to be able to fall asleep together and stay together in the same bed until morning. Like normal adults do.

When it comes to her and what I want, my patience is getting thin. Now that we’re together, I want the freedom to be able to move the relationship forward as we want it to, and it’s getting harder and harder to have to wait and hide everything from everyone.