Three Immortals Walk Into A Bar...

Gregor

It develops so fast that by the time Wolk tries to warn me I am already tumbling off my chair.

I have a lot of strange abilities, but defying the laws of physics is not among them. If a powerful vampire pushes me, I’m going down. I hear Levant’s whiskey glass splinter against the wall right behind where I had been sitting, at the same time that I am colliding with a spare chair that had been pushed up against the wall in the corner next to our table. My forehead bounces painfully off one of the legs of the chair and I’m pretty sure that the impact causes a contusion.

I’m right, I realize quickly, as I try to lift myself off the ground and discover blood already flowing into my eye. I haven’t even gotten myself turned around to look back and see the vampires when I hear them punching each other.

Sigh.

Wolk immediately begins to update me. “When Clyde pushed you, for which I am very grateful, his darkness was drained from him, just as Levant’s had been when you touched him earlier.”

Great. I guess it works for both of them. I have to get this brawl under control before airport security shows up. I only have human strength, human speed, so by the time I clamber back to my feet and step over to the thrashing vampires they are already well into their silly battle, Clyde on the floor kicking up at Levant who is diving down to rain more blows on him. Gadzooks.

Levant is closer so I reach out and grab his brawny shoulder and hold on for dear life, not just touching him like before, but actually focusing, as hard as I do when I am trying to heal someone. I don’t know what it will take, so I give it my all, concentrating on flooding him with light.

He immediately collapses. It takes me down with him as he crashes to the floor, and I barely am able to stay up on my knees while he flops over onto his back. Impressive how powerfully effective this is.

I know that he is the aggressor here, but for good measure I reach out and also grab Clyde at the closest spot I can reach, the knee of his flailing leg. He also falls limp, like a punctured tire.

Phew. I leave my hands right where they are, and tell them to stop it. They both stare up at me in shock, and it is just so funny that I can’t stop myself from laughing. They look like two bad little boys who have been apprehended stealing cookies from a jar.

“Honestly, guys, can’t you just try to get along with each other?”

“Clyde has no further violent intentions, he was only defending you and then himself,” Wolk advises me.

Fine, then. I look at Clyde, who meets my eyes with a hilarious look of utter astonishment. “You gonna behave?” I ask him, and he huffs out a little laugh and nods weakly. I let go of his knee, and he takes a couple of seconds to blink, seem to come back to himself, and tentatively sit up. In a moment he is sitting on his chair again, and I see shadows creeping across the floor towards him, while he stares at the spectacle of me kneeling over Levant and apparently holding him down to the floor with one hand.

Ha! This must look ridiculous. I know how much bigger and beefier Levant is than me.

Levant is scowling, of course, and growling, and looking as murderous as ever, obviously infuriated to be immobilized by my scrawny little self. I sigh and just settle down on the floor next to him. “Please, Levant, can you please just believe me here? I mean you no harm. I am pretty sure Clyde doesn’t either. I really do just want to get to know you. At the very least I want us to all get out of this airport without attracting more attention. Can you behave?”

He only growls, but Wolk says, “Darling, the longer you are touching him, the weaker he is growing. It appears that he is literally animated by his darkness, and you are preventing this. I do not know if it is safe for him to continue this contact.”

Oh dear.

“Also, security is approaching.”

Quickly I say, “Look, Levant, I have to let go of you. The cops are on the way. Will you please just come outside with me, and talk? Just for a bit?”

He growls one tense word. “Fine.”

I lift my hand, and he visibly relaxes, as though relieved from a terrible pain. I feel bad about hurting him, but what else was I supposed to do? He sits up, but I think he might still be too weak to stand.

“Security is here.”

I glance towards the front of the bar, where customers are still crowding around, and see two airport security guards talking to the waitress at the front of the bar. She turns around and points to our corner at the back.

“Let me talk to them, guys,” I tell them, “I can handle this.” Who knows what they would tell the guards? Nothing helpful, I’m sure.

Levant clenches his jaw. I don’t suppose he would have talked anyway. He seems more inclined to punch his way out of any fix.

Clyde grins, inclining his head as though giving me permission to speak to the officers. But rather than watching to see how this unfolds, he says quickly. “I’ll meet you outside. Right in front of baggage claim.” Then he vanishes in a puff of smoke.

I blink. Did I really just see that? I gape at the chair where I am pretty sure a vampire was sitting one second ago.

“Yes, my dear, Clyde apparently has the ability to discorporate and move as a nearly invisible mist.”

I turn to Levant, where he is still sitting on the floor next to me. I’m sure my mouth is hanging open. I’m about to ask him if he can do that too, but he speaks first.

“What the fuck?”

Clyde

Yes, vanishing into a mist is a great party trick, but I am still utterly flummoxed by the trick that Gregor just pulled.

What was that?

What is he?

I’ve never seen anything like it, in nearly two centuries of living. They cannot see me any longer in this form, but there is no way I am going anywhere. I linger in the bar, my mist gathered unseen along the ceiling, drifting along the edges of the walls, clustering in corners. Even if someone looked up, they would only see shadow. Nobody would question what they are seeing.

It is a relief to have shed my physical form, and be floating weightless in the air. Levant did some serious damage to my body, but by the time I re-form the injuries will have vanished. When I was a new vampire I did not realize that blood is not the only way to heal myself. This has saved me more than once over the years.

I will stay here, unseen, to watch.

As the security guards approach the corner where Levant and Gregor are still sitting on the floor, Gregor stands and raises his voice, saying to Levant, “Thank you so much for your help, sir. That was so clumsy of me!”

Ha! I see what he’s doing.

The guards look at Gregor, and look at Levant as he also rises from the floor. They appear confused. No doubt they had received a report of three men fighting, and here are two men, with no fighting. However, one of these men certainly appears suspicious. If anyone looks like a fighter, it is certainly Levant, with his bulging muscles and ostentatious tattoos and scowling face. He looks like a convict. And the thinner man is bloodied.

One of the guards asks Gregor, “All you all right?” His eyes go to Gregor’s bloody forehead.

“Oh, yes,” Gregor says, “I’m fine, I just lost my balance standing up and dropped my glass.” He indicates Levant. “This guy was just helping me up.” But then, acting as though he realizes the guard is staring at his wound, he lifts his hand to his forehead and brings back fingers covered with blood. He lowers his hand and stares at them. “Oh, my,” he says, doing a brilliant job of acting like he had no idea until this moment that he was injured. “Um,” he looks back to the guard, “is there a first aid station here?”

The guard says, “Yes, of course, we’ll take you to it.”

Gregor waves him away, and with his clean hand touches the guard’s shoulder. I watch keenly, but see no apparent effect on the man’s well-being. If anything, he seems to relax under Gregor’s touch. “No, no,” Gregor says, “you needn’t bother. I know you must be very busy with the flight cancellations. If you could just give me directions I’ll head over and get a bandage. I’ll be fine.”

The guard nods amiably, and gives Gregor directions about how to cross the concourse to get to the first aid station, which Gregor appears to listen to very closely, nodding earnestly. The other guard stares suspiciously at Levant, who has managed at least to stop himself from growling like a beast.

Within two minutes, the bar staff is cleaning up the broken glass, the security guards are on their way, and nobody has been taken into custody. Gregor handled that so smoothly, even I am impressed. My goodness.

Gregor turns to Levant. “You’ll still come outside to talk, right? At least for a little while?”

Levant scowls. “Aren’t you going to first aid?”

Gregor smirks, and pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket. Who uses handkerchiefs any more? Other than me, of course. He presses it to his forehead, starts mopping up the blood, and touches the wound with his fingertips. He brings his hand down to inspect his fingers, and appears satisfied. I realize that the blood flow has almost stopped, which is quite surprising. It had been pretty obvious that he was going to need stitches.

Again, what is he?

He says, “No need. Coming outside with me?”

Levant shrugs his acquiescence.

“Great,” Gregor says. Then he pauses, looks at Levant with what appears to be concern, and says, “Perhaps it would be best if I kept my distance a bit? Let you pull yourself together?”

Levant frowns.

“I think I might still be interfering with your…” Gregor waves his hand over Levant’s form, “you know, darkness. I don’t mean to. I just think you’d feel a little better if I stay a few feet away. Right?”

So he knows about the darkness. I wasn’t sure how much he was understanding when he flattened the other vampire and I by somehow causing our shadows to scurry away from us.

Levant shakes his head, either annoyed or confused, shrugs his massive shoulders, and begins stalking out of the bar and down the concourse towards the exit.

Gregor follows several feet behind him. But before he goes, he pauses in the now deserted corner of the bar, and his eyes roam across the room, up the walls, and into the corners of the ceiling. It seems for all the world like he is looking for me.

Again, what is he?