Those Three Little Words

I pace back and forth in front of the hotel door, wondering why the fuck he hasn’t opened it yet. I raise my fist to pound once again just as it parts open, and Pacey’s one eye shows through the crack.

“What the actual fuck?”

I push through the door, knocking him back, and start pacing his room. “Dude, have you heard from—” I glance at him and notice he’s naked, holding a pillow in front of his crotch, and that’s it. “Uh, what the hell are you doing?”

“What the hell am I doing?” he asks. “I’m trying to have some privacy with my goddamn girlfriend.”

“Winnie is here?” I ask, confused.

“No, you moron, I’m FaceTiming her.”

I look over at the nightstand, where I see a phone propped up. “Oh . . .”

“Yeah. Oh. So tell me what the hell you want before I shove my foot up your ass.”

“Your parents. They surprised Penny and are with her right now.”

His anger quickly morphs into concern. “Oh, shit.” Pillow still covering his crotch, he walks over to the nightstand where I get the perfect view of his ass—nothing I haven’t seen before—and picks up the phone. “Hey, babe. I need to handle this.”

“Okay. Love you. Call me later.”

“Love you.” He hangs up the phone and then walks into the bathroom, where he slips on a pair of pants.

When he comes back out, he still has the pillow covering his crotch as he sits down on the bed.

“Boner?” I ask.

“Yeah, and I’d rather you not be able to stare at it.”

“You’re confusing me with Taters. He’s the one who likes to compare.”

Pacey drags his hand down his face. “Just tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“I don’t really know. I sent her flowers, because she was feeling weird earlier, and I thought they’d cheer her up. When I didn’t hear from her, I called, and she answered in a whispered tone. Told me her parents were there and then started talking about how she was telling them she nicknamed herself and sent her own flowers. Honestly, I couldn’t fucking follow, and then I heard her parents, and she hung up. I came here because I wasn’t sure if you’d heard anything.”

“Nothing. Should I call my parents?”

“Can you?” I ask in desperation. “I’ve tried calling Penny several times, and she’s not picking up. I’ve also tried texting. It’s been silent.” I push my hand through my hair. “She’s been terrified to tell your parents, man. I’m worried she’s not doing well.”

Pacey is already scrolling through his phone, looking for his parents’ info. He presses a button and then turns it on speaker. It rings a few times, and then the phone is picked up. My heart jumps in my chest.

“Hey, son,” a male voice says over the phone.

“Hey, Dad,” Pacey says nervously. “Uh, how are you?”

“Doing okay, just listening to your sister have a nervous breakdown is all. You? Get to your hotel, okay?”

“Fuck,” I mutter as I start to pace.

“Yeah . . . Eli told me that you guys were there. I’m assuming you found out?”

“We did. We found out a lot of things. I forgot how much your sister can ramble. I’ve heard some things a father should never hear about his daughter. Is Eli with you right now?”

Pacey looks over at me. “He is.”

“Ahh, tell him I don’t think I’ll be able to look him in the eye after the monologue your sister gave us about his birthday night.”

Jesus fuck!

I grip my hair with both my hands now. “Is she okay?” I mouth.

“How is she, Dad?”

“Uh, still crying. Mom is holding her. We’ve been back and forth with emotions. I think your mom is going to stay with her tonight, and I’ll head back to the hotel. She seems to be going through a lot.”

“Yeah, Eli was saying she was scared to tell you. Are you . . . mad?”

He pauses and then says, “No. This sort of thing happens. You’re all adults, and sometimes you can do everything right, and something still goes wrong. I’m just more upset that she’s taken so long to tell us. She just started her second trimester. That’s a long time to go through something of this magnitude alone.”

“She hasn’t been alone,” Pacey says quickly. “Eli has been there.” Color me shocked, he’s defending me. I know we’re on our way to reconciling, but I didn’t think I’d be hearing him defend me anytime soon. “And Winnie has been filling in as well as Blakely.”

“Which I’m very happy to hear, but she should have told us. Mom could have helped her with some things. Been someone to talk to who has been through it before. You should have encouraged her, Pacey.”

Guilt washes over Pacey as he says, “Yeah, I haven’t necessarily handled everything in the best way possible. Anger sort of took over, and it’s taken a lot of conversations with Winnie to realize I was being a tool.”

Looks like I owe Winnie a present.

“But I promise, I’m better now.”

“Good. You know you two can come to us with anything, right? We don’t want you to fear us.”

“I think she was more embarrassed than anything,” Pacey says.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about. She’s carrying a child, and even if it’s not the way we would love to see it, she’s still having a baby, which means we’ll be grandparents. That’s exciting to us.”

The ball of tension in my chest slightly eases.

“Well, I’m glad you know because I know it’s been weighing on her.”

“Seems that way. I’m going to help Mom, okay?”

“Can you tell him to ask her to call me or text, anything?” I say to Pacey.

“I heard him,” Joseph says. “I’ll make sure she reaches out. Good luck tomorrow, boys.”

“Thanks, Dad.” After a few more goodbyes, Pacey hangs up and then tosses the phone to the side. “Man, that was not what I was expecting to do this evening.”

“Sorry,” I say while taking a seat next to him on the bed. “I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“No, I appreciate it.” He pats me on the back. “You’re really stepping up.”

“Just don’t want to be like my dad,” I say.

“You’re not. And when I said that—”

“I know, dude, I know.” I let out a huge sigh and stand. “Well, I’ll let you get back to whatever it was that you were doing with Winnie, and I’m going to wait painfully next to my phone for your sister to call.”

“Thanks, and hey, you did the right thing coming here. I know things have been weird between us, but I appreciate you pushing through it to make sure my sister is okay.”

“No need to thank me. I care about her and will do anything to make sure she’s okay.”

FUCK, I’ve never been this out of sorts before in my entire life. It’s been an hour since I went to Pacey’s room. It’s fucking late here, and we have a goddamn playoff game tomorrow, but the only thing I can think about at the moment is Penny.

Should I just try calling her again? Shoot her a text? Remind her that I want to hear from her?

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stare at my phone as my leg bounces up and down, willing it to ring. But it doesn’t. It stays dead silent, so instead of waiting, I text her again.

Eli: It’s late here, I know, but I need to know that you’re okay. Call or text. I’m awake waiting to hear from you.

Once I press send, I start to pace my room again. Was that text wrapped up in a tidy bow of desperation? Yup. Do I care? I don’t give one single fuck.

Since I already brushed my teeth, got ready for bed, and laid out my clothes for tomorrow, I have nothing to keep me busy. Therefore, I traverse this hotel carpet—

Buzz. Buzz.

I nearly toss my phone in the air from the excitement of a text message.

Please be from Penny.

Please be from Penny.

I glance down at the phone, and instant relief hits me as I see that she text me back. I take a seat on my bed and open the text message.

Penny: Sorry. Been an emotional night. Everything is good.

I text her back immediately.

Eli: Can I FaceTime you?

I don’t know what possessed me to ask, but I need to see her face. I need to make sure she’s okay.

Penny: I look like a wreck.

Eli: I don’t care. Please, Penny?

I wait for a response, worried that she’s going to say no when my phone buzzes with a FaceTime call.

Thank. Fuck.

I accept the call and hold the phone out in front of me as Penny’s tear-soaked face appears on the screen.

“Hey,” she says with a sheepish smile. She’s lying on her bed, curled into her pillow, looking like she needs a goddamn hug.

“Hey.” I exhale harshly and then push my hand through my hair. “You’re probably sick of me asking, but how are you?”

“Better. I’m sorry I didn’t text or call. I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

I shake my head. “Nah, been waiting to hear from you. So, is everything okay with your parents?”

She nods. “My mom was going to stay the night with me, but I told her I was fine and she could go to the hotel with my dad. They just left.”

“How do they feel?”

“Honestly? Excited.” The lightest of smirks pulls at her lips. “After the shock of it all, they were very excited and already started talking about possibly finding a place in Vancouver so they can split their time between here and Minnesota. They want to be as helpful as possible. They understand your schedule and want to be a support to both of us.”

“Wow, that’s . . . that’s pretty awesome of them.”

“They also want to have dinner with you when you come back. I told them to wait until the playoffs are done.”

“No, I can have dinner when I get back from Washington. I’d like that, actually.”

“Are you sure? I know you have more important things to do—”

“Penny, you are the most important thing in my life right now. I’ll have dinner with them when I get back. That’s not a problem at all. I just ask that we do it at your place and order in or something. We’ll be disturbed too much if we go out, especially right in the middle of the playoffs.”

“I think they’d enjoy something more intimate.” She snuggles closer to her pillow. “Thank you.”

I lie back on my bed, holding my phone up. “It’s my pleasure.” I stare at her tear-stained eyes and say, “You look beautiful, Penny.”

“Oh my God, you’re sleep-deprived.”

I shake my head. “I’m not. You truly are. You look so real and so natural. You really are beautiful.”

“You’re going to make me cry again.”

“Well, we don’t want that. Tell me more about this farce you were running about sending flowers to yourself.”

She chuckles and then turns on her bed to the other side. “It’s what sheer panic will do to you. The number of lies I sputtered was astronomical.”

And just like that, we spend the next half hour laughing and talking about how she attempted to trick her parents when they first arrived. We laugh so hard together that tears spring to our eyes, and we’re both gasping for air. It’s the most real and honest conversation I’ve ever had, and every time she pushes her hair behind her ear or snuggles into her pillow, all I can think about is how I wished it was me she was resting on, or how I wish I was the one fixing her hair.

To put myself in that sort of frame of mind is a scary thought, but the more we talk, the more we hang out, and the more I realize that I wish things were different for the both of us because I like her.

I actually fucking like this girl.

THE PAST FEW days have been one blow after the other. We ended up losing our first game, two to one. We looked lethargic and distracted out there, and our coach called us on it. When it came to our second game of the series, we ended up losing again, this time three to one. It was fucking painful.

None of us have our heads in the game. And all for different reasons.

Taters is caught up in the drama that is his ex-girlfriend.

From what I heard, Posey has a crush on a girl he can’t even fathom asking out. Not sure why, but that’s all I’ve heard.

Pacey and I have been recovering from what happened between us earlier.

And the playoffs are always hard on Halsey because of his brother.

You’re looking at five guys who can’t get their heads out of their asses.

But now that we’re home, we’re looking to turn things around. It’s a seven-game series. We have some work to do, but we aren’t out of it yet.

With my bags over my shoulder, I make my way up to Penny’s apartment, and I take my key out of my pocket to unlock the door.

Once again, it’s late, so I’m not expecting her to be up. I’m just glad to be back. I thought I’d miss my apartment more than I have, but I’m starting to realize that it’s not the place I go home to, but having someone there when you arrive.

I walk through the door and lock it up behind me. The living room is dark other than the one accent lamp she left on for me. I turn it off and make my way to the bedroom, where I slip through the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I spot her in the bed sleeping, I gently set my bags down and go to the walk-in closet, where I strip out of my suit. In the dark, I sift out my toothbrush and tiptoe to the bathroom, where I brush my teeth, leaving the light off the whole time. She must be tired if she isn’t stirring. I spoke to her every night, and she said she’s been apartment hunting, working on a list with her mom of things she’s going to need for the baby and, of course, working. I’ve noticed how tired she is in her eyes.

I slip out of the bathroom and don’t worry about plugging in my phone since we could charge it on the airplane. Instead, I quietly move to my side of the bed just as she shifts. She rubs her eye and says, “Hey, you.”

“Hey, I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s fine. I have to pee.” She throws the blankets off her, revealing a silk pajama set that I haven’t seen yet. A thinly strapped tank top and matching shorts that barely reach her upper thigh. It’s, uh . . . it’s really fucking sexy, especially when her hair is all mussed up like that. “How was your flight?” she asks as she walks up to me.

My eyes are glued on the way her tits sway against the silk fabric of her shirt. Is it me, or have they gotten bigger?

“Uh, it was good,” I say just as she puts her arms around me. I sink into her embrace and hug her back, moving one of my hands up to the nape of her neck. “Glad that I’m back,” I say truthfully.

“Me too,” she says as she presses her cheek against my bare chest. “It’s not the same without you.”

And then she releases me and goes to the bathroom, leaving me in a state of bewilderment. I wasn’t expecting her to say that, nor was I expecting the welcoming hug.

Nor was I expecting the warm feeling spreading through my veins from both her words and her embrace.

I’m glad for technology like FaceTime. But it doesn’t compare to being here in person. I miss so much while I’m gone. It hasn’t sat well with me that I’ve missed every single doctor’s appointment. And now I also missed being her shoulder to lean on when she told her parents about us. About our baby.

And this is only the beginning. How much more will I miss when the baby is actually born? Yet this beautiful, sleepy woman greeted me with a hug, telling me she missed me. She is fucking awesome.

Clearing my throat, I walk to my side of the bed and get under the covers. The bed is warm, and the silk of her sheets comfort me as I sink into her mattress. I used to love my bed when I’d get home from an away trip. I sought it out, looking for that bit of home after being gone for so long, but now, this bed is what feels right. A little lumpy in spots but cool to the touch and warm from the person next to me. I sleep my best here. And that’s a scary realization because I know being here is only short term. Things will change once the baby is born, and the unknown is starting to make me panic.

Penny emerges from the bathroom and slips under the covers as well, facing me. From the distant light of the moon, I can catch glimpses of her beautiful face.

“Good?” I ask her.

She nods against her pillow. “Yeah.”

“How has it been with your parents?”

“Okay. Mom said I looked frail, which didn’t bode well for me.”

I frown. “Have you been eating?”

“Not as much as I used to, but now that I’m feeling better, I’m able to stomach some things. My mom also said I have a little bump.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She grabs my hand and places it on her stomach. “You probably won’t be able to tell, but there’s something in there.” She smooths my palm over her stomach, but all I feel is her warm skin. “I’ll try to show you in the morning. I think it just looks like I’m bloated.”

“I’m sure it doesn’t.” Instead of moving my hand, I keep it in place, holding her stomach gently.

“I’m tired.” She yawns.

“Then let’s go to sleep.” Reluctantly I move my hand off her stomach just as her eyes drift shut.

“Can I ask you a favor, Eli?” she says quietly.

“Anything,” I answer.

Her eyes open again and connect with mine. “I know we don’t do this, and it might be crossing the line, but after the past few days, I could really use the comfort.”

“What do you need?”

“Will you cuddle with me? Just once,” she says quickly. “And I won’t ask again. I just need to feel . . . protected.”

I don’t even hesitate. I’d do anything she asks of me, but I’m also so goddamn desperate to be near her. I haven’t been able to shake the feeling of her warm body pressed against mine since she hugged me before I left for our away trip.

So her request is an easy yes for me.

I scoot in close to her back, rest my head right next to hers, and then drape my arm over her waist. The moment I’m settled, she melts into my embrace, and it’s the best fucking feeling I’ve ever felt . . . well, besides the moment I sank into her. This is a close second.

She’s so goddamn warm, and soft, and feels like she fits perfectly against me. Like she was meant to be spooned by me all along. I move in so close that I share her pillow and bury my head in her hair.

“Are you comfortable?” I ask her, my palm splaying across her stomach.

“Very,” she whispers. “Thank you, Eli.”

No, thank you, Penny.

“You’re welcome,” I answer as my eyes drift shut and my breathing evens out. I hadn’t realized how much I love being able to hold a woman in an embrace like this. Perhaps it’s simply that I haven’t had this sort of . . . affection for the past sixteen years. Nor been needed.

This bed, these sheets, this woman. She feels so right. And before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep, my mind a complete haze as I soak in being next to Penny and holding her like I’d have hoped to.