Those Three Little Words

“I brought smoothies . . . and Winnie,” Blakely says while charging through my office door, holding up a tray of drinks. Winnie follows her, looking as cute as can be in a pair of high-waisted jeans and a tucked-in V-neck long-sleeved shirt.

“Ta-da,” Winnie says while giving me jazz hands.

“Hey, what a great surprise.” I stand from my desk and give her a hug. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you.” Winnie smiles. She’s curvy and beautiful and so freaking perfect it’s nauseating. But I love her. She’s sweet and has the kindest heart, and she makes my brother extremely happy, which is all that matters in the long run. “This is a leotard, can you tell?” She plucks at the maroon fabric.

“I wondered how you got such a good tuck,” Blakely says. “How does it ride in the crotch area?”

“High and tight. I believe a one-inch piece of fabric barely covers my vagina. But there’s something to be said about walking around, wondering if the next step will be the final step of giving yourself a frontal wedgie.”

I chuckle. “What a way to live life. So exhilarating.”

“Living life on the edge over here,” Winnie says.

We all take a seat, and Blakely hands out the smoothies. “Yours is the pregnancy special,” Blakely says. “I’m not sure what’s exactly in it, but they told me it is full of the nutrients you need, and it tastes good, so it checked off my boxes.”

I take a sip, wary at first, but when the flavor combination of strawberries and bananas hits my tongue, I’m pleasantly surprised. “Wow, it’s good.”

“I’m glad because that was a real guess on my end.” She sips her green smoothie along with Winnie.

“So how are you feeling?” Winnie asks.

“Pretty good. Still nauseous, but not throwing up. I hate the feeling of being sick to my stomach, but at least I’m not heaving over the toilet every morning. I’m grateful for that.”

“Was your mom the same way?” Winnie asks.

Ooof, wouldn’t know.

“I, uh . . . I haven’t told her yet. I really haven’t told anyone. I have a doctor’s appointment today to check things out. Maybe after that, I’ll tell them.” I set my drink down. “I feel like they’re going to be so disappointed in me.”

“It was an accident,” Blakely says. “You guys used protection. Sometimes this just happens, and at least you’re doing your best given the circumstances. That’s all they can ask for.”

“And I have a pretty good feeling they’re going to be excited about a grandchild. I know they’re always pestering Pacey about when he’s going to have kids.”

Blakely leans toward her. “And when is that going to happen?”

Winnie smirks. “Not anytime soon. I want to be married and for us to own a house. A few things need to be done before that is even an option. So until then, I’m on birth control, holding down the fort.”

“Does Pacey want kids?” Blakely asks.

“He does.” Winnie meets my gaze. “He probably doesn’t want me saying this because, you know, he has to act like the strong, angry brother who has been wronged by one of his best friends, but last night, he said he was kind of excited to meet the little one.”

“He said that?” I ask, completely dumbfounded. I just assumed Pacey has been angry ever since he found out and can’t seem to get over the idea that Eli got me pregnant.

“He did. But I’ll swear to my death that I never told you that. Do you hear me?” She pins me with a threatening look that is actually non-threatening because it’s Winnie. I’m not sure she has a sinister bone in her body.

“I won’t say a thing to him, I promise. But I’ll tell you that makes me feel a little more relieved.”

“He’ll get over the anger at some point. He just feels really betrayed right now. But he’s working through those emotions. Give him a little time.”

“It isn’t all Eli’s fault,” I say. “I was an equal partner in what happened.”

“And, uh, what exactly happened that night?” Blakely asks. “You’ve skimmed over all of the good stuff.”

“The good stuff will remain skimmed,” I say as my phone buzzes on the desk. I glance down quickly to see that it’s a text from Eli. I don’t open it even though I really want to see what it says.

“Is that from Hornsby?” Blakely asks.

“How can you tell?”

“Your face turned pink,” Winnie points out.

I raise my hands to my cheeks, feeling just how heated they are. God, how embarrassing.

“It’s just hot in here,” I say as both of them laugh, seeing right through me.

“I take it your conversation with him last night went well?” Blakely asks and then turns to Winnie. “You should have been here yesterday. What an absolute disaster. They were trying to communicate with each other, but it was the most uncomfortable thing because neither knew how to act normally. They were talking about horse manes and apple eating. It was a total fail.”

“Horse manes?” Winnie asks with a cute scrunch to her nose.

“Not my doing.”

Blakley points her smoothie at me. “You were not helping. The guy was trying, and you were responding with one-word answers. Of course conversation would result in talking about eating apples. He didn’t know where to go from there.”

“Either way, it was better last night,” I say. “We both spoke about how we’ve been uncomfortable and found some common ground with Ozark.”

“Love Jason Bateman,” Blakely says.

“Eli has met him, and I’m so jealous. But honestly, it’s better between us, at least as best as it can be. Before last night, there seemed to be an elephant in the room hogging all of the air. But now that we are actually finding the ability to communicate, I think it will be okay.”

“And he’s living with you?” Winnie asks.

I nod. “Yeah.”

“How is that? You know I love Pacey with everything in me, but Eli is quite handsome. When I first walked into the cabin in Banff, I was honestly struck by how attractive he was. I can’t imagine what it would be like living with him.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Blakely says, placing her hand on Winnie’s shoulder. “Nothing romantic will happen between them.”

Winnie chuckles. “Do you really believe that, Penny?”

“Of course. We’re not looking to start anything. That would just complicate things. We decided on being friends, and that’s good enough.”

“Wait until she gets to the horny phase of pregnancy,” Blakely says. “When my sister was pregnant with my niece, she’d try to sit on my brother-in-law’s face every chance she got.”

“I could not even imagine having sex right now,” I say as I press my palm to my stomach. “Everything feels weird and out of place. I’m terrified I’d throw up, so any sort of intimacy is completely off the table.”

“Just you wait.” Blakely smiles while taking a sip of her drink. When she’s done, she asks, “What did Hornsby say to you anyway?”

Wanting to get off the topic of sex, I lift my phone and open his message. I read it to myself first.

Eli: Good morning. Just checking on you < – – see, I can be pretty good at this talking thing.

I chuckle and then text him back, forgetting that two pairs of eyes are staring at me.

Penny: Good morning. Everything is good now. I have an appointment with the doctor later. I’ll let you know how it goes.

When I set my phone down, I lift my drink just as I see both of my friends looking at me with annoying grins on their faces.

Blakely turns to Winnie and says, “Surrrrre, nothing is going to happen between them.” They both chuckle together. “This should be a lot of fun to watch as it unfolds.”

“Agreed. Get me some popcorn. I think there might be some romance in the air.”

I roll my eyes because they have completely lost it. There’s no romance anywhere. Nothing about our situation is romantic at all. Maybe if we were married and in love, then yes, this whole experience would possibly be romantic. But we’re not married. We’re practically strangers. Therefore, we’re just trying to make it day by day.

There’s absolutely zero romance.

None.

Zilch.

ELI: Thinking about you. Are you at the doctor’s office right now?

Penny: Yeah. I had to change into a gown and take my underwear off. Errr, is that too much information?

Eli: Nah, I think the more honest we are, the better. It will keep us from saying stupid shit like I like snow because it’s white. The more honest, the better.

Penny: Then should I tell you that my nipples tingle?

Eli: LOL. Yes, please tell me that. And what kind of tingling are we talking about here? A good tingle or a bad one?

Penny: An interesting one. Not sure how I feel about it.

Eli: Anything else tingling that I should know about?

Penny: No. Just my nipples. Is there anything tingling on your body?

Eli: Not at the moment, but when Posey takes his shirt off in the locker room, my whole body is tingling and humming.

Penny: ROFL. Gives me an idea to put heart eyes on your face and then flash to a video of Posey walking toward you. I think it could be a really good post.

Eli: Or of him bending over and stretching with his stick.

Penny: OMG, even better. Oh hey, the doctor is here. I’ll let you know how this all goes.

Eli: Okay. Sounds good. Tell him about the tingling nips.

ELI: Are you awake?

Penny: I am despite being totally exhausted.

My phone rings, and I answer and put it on speaker before laying my phone on my stomach. In bed and comfortable, I don’t feel like holding my phone up to my ear. “Hey, congrats on the win tonight.”

“Thanks,” he says, his voice sounding just as exhausted as mine. “Just waiting on a few guys, and then we’re heading to the airport. I’ll be home pretty late. Want me to sleep on the couch so I don’t disturb you?”

“No. I’m sure once I fall asleep, I’ll be out cold.”

“Okay.” He pauses for a second. “How was the appointment?”

“Good. Confirmed that I am, in fact, pregnant, but we knew that.”

“Did you tell him about the, uh . . . the tingling?”

“Yes.” I chuckle. “He said it was normal and to expect many more changes to come. He also told me to take prenatal vitamins and set what he thinks is a due date.”

“What is it?”

“November eleventh.”

“Right after the season starts back up again.” I can hear the concern in his voice. “I need to check on paternity leave and see if we even get anything. I know it’s not mandated by the league, but maybe the Agitators have their own policy.”

“I don’t think it’s something you need to worry about right now. We have a long way to go. I’m still in a timeframe where my pregnancy could go either way.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asks.

“You know, I could still have a high chance of a miscarriage. That’s why the doctor always tells you to wait until you start telling people. Once we hit twelve weeks, then we can start telling people, and you can check on paternity leave.”

“How far along are you now?”

“Almost eight.”

“Why does it feel like it’s been longer?”

I sink further into my pillow as I say, “Probably because the first week we found out, it felt like paint was drying while trying to have a conversation.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, that could be it. I’m glad we can joke about it. Does that mean you’re starting to feel more comfortable around me?”

“I think so. Maybe by tomorrow, I’ll actually be able to look at you and not have the incessant need to clean.”

“Glad that seeing my face makes you want to clean.”

I let out a low laugh. “Are you still thinking you want to live here? Because honestly, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It all seems kind of silly at this point.”

“Is this your roundabout way of kicking me out?” I can hear the teasing in his voice, but there is also a slight edge to it.

“No, not at all. But everything happened so fast, and I know Pacey is breathing down your neck. I don’t want you to feel obligated. I can handle Pacey.”

“I can handle him too. I appreciate your concern, Penny, but I’m going to need to fight my own battle with Pacey. As far as the apartment is concerned, I’d truly like to stay with you, just so I can be there in case anything happens. I know I’m out of town a lot, but at least when I am in town, I can be there.”

“If that’s what you want, then that’s fine.”

He’s quiet for a second and then grows serious when he says, “But what do you want, Penny?”

I stare up at the ceiling, giving that question some thought. In this uncertain time of my life, I could really use the comfort of someone going through the same thing as me. And sure, Eli might not be the one carrying the child, but he’s still about to become a parent in November, and that’s some scary shit. It might be nice to go through that together.

“I don’t want to be alone while going through this. And I know this might sound silly, but I truly want to get to know you, more than just the hockey player, but the man who you are so when our baby does arrive, I can make sure to tell them what a great daddy they have.”

When silence falls over the phone, I wonder if we’ve been disconnected.

“Eli, you still there?”

“Yeah,” he croaks. “I’m here.”

“Oh okay, did you, uh . . . did you hear what I said?”

“I did, and Jesus, it kind of knocked the wind out of me. I want the same thing. I think we’re going about this the right way. Getting to know each other so when the baby is here, we can always be on each other’s side, rather than fighting over the child.”

“Exactly.”

“You know, I’m pretty sure you’re the most laid-back pregnant woman. There have been a few guys on the team who have come and gone, been traded or retired, and I’ve heard nothing but horror stories with getting someone pregnant.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that with me.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Hey, they want to get moving, so I’m going to hang up since it will start to get loud in here.”

“Sure. Safe travels. I’ll see you later.”

“Thanks. I’ll be quiet when I get in. Bye, Penny.”

“Bye.”

I hang up the phone and smile softly. Now that we’ve shaken off all of the awkwardness, I truly think I can do this with him. Have a baby, raise a kid. I mean, if I were to choose anyone on the team to do this with, it very well might have been Eli, just because he’s so easygoing, him and Posey. But Posey’s fetish with bologna sandwiches would most likely bother this pregnant stomach.

I’m just glad I have someone who wants to do this together. I could be way worse off.

My phone beeps with a text message, and I have a feeling I know exactly who it is. I bring my screen into view and catch Eli’s name.

Eli: What’s your favorite breakfast?

I roll to my side and hold my phone out in front of me as I text him back.

Penny: Like of all time? Restaurant and everything or just generic breakfast food?

Eli: Generic breakfast food.

Penny: Hmm, well, given that breakfast is my absolute favorite meal of the day, I’d say I have many favorites. I love bagels, especially with a mound of cream cheese. I enjoy a good yogurt parfait as long as the fruit isn’t all mushy and gross. And of course, the classic cinnamon bun is never wasted on me.

Eli: If you had to pick one, your last breakfast ever, what would it be?

Penny: Slightly morbid, but I’ll go with the questioning. I’d probably have to choose a cinnamon bun.

Eli: Have you ever been to Denver?

Penny: No. Are they known for their cinnamon buns?

Eli: Lol, not that I’m aware of, but there is a place here that Posey and I go to called The Denver Biscuit Company, and they serve these giant cinnamon buns that are impossible to eat by yourself. If I had known this was your favorite breakfast food, I’d have brought one home to you.

Penny: My mouth is watering.

Eli: Next time we’re here, I’ll grab one for sure.

Penny: Why do you ask?

Eli: Just a good thing to know. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.