The Woman in the Windowsill

I enter the front door to find David awake. He’s never awake before three o’clock unless he is working. He’s off today and he sits at the sofa with a beer listening to Fleetwood Mack.

“Hey”, I say, locking my front door.

“Hey”, he returns. He sounds bothered.

“You okay?”, I ask

“Fine”.

“You don’t sound like it, what’s up?”

“You two must have had a hell of a time, huh?”

“A lot of fun actually”. By now Sam is at my feet meowing for his breakfast. Lately David has taken to feeding Sam but it appears David neglected to do so today. I inch my way to the cabinet to serve the little guy his grub.

“All night, huh?”. David takes a swig of his beer. I turn my attention to him and see that there’s 5 bottles of beer next to him and he’s currently working on the sole survivor of a pale ale six pack.

“Well, yeah”. I’m careful with my words. “We really hit it off. She’s a great girl. We plan on meeting again this weekend. I suppose you’re welcome to come along.”

David scoffs. “You two sleep together?”

I wince. “Does it… Well does it matter David? We’re both adults, afterall.”

David puts down the rest of his beer and comes to join me in the kitchen. “It does matter. She’s my cousin”.

The tension in the room begins to rise as he nears closer to me. “Listen David. Yes. Yes we slept together. We had a bit of fun. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Well shit I didn’t think you two would actually hit it off!”

I’m a bit hurt by this, but I endure it. “Well we did. She’s liked me for a long time and I kind of always had a thing for her. It just naturally works out.”

David begins to shake his head and come to his senses. “You’re right. You’re right Brett. It’s just she’s my baby cousin, you know?”

“I understand.”

“I’ve always looked out for her, I don’t want to get her hurt or anything is all.”

“If you really want, I can stop talking to her. Before things get more serious. We click really well, I suppose this would be the only time I could really cut things off.”

“Absolutely not.” David extends his hand out and I shake his hand. A very firm grip. “You just take good care of her. Always.”

“Always”.

David awkwardly walks back to our couch and begins to doze off. I admire him for his protectiveness. But in the end I know he trusts me.

The phone begins to ring.

I answer to hear Mr. Ross’s booming voice greet me.

“Hey boss”, I answer.

“Brett! You sound well. I take it you’re taking advantage of your paid leave, not simply moping around half asleep on the couch?” I turn to look at David passed out on the couch.

“Yes, things have been going pretty well actually. I think I can probably get back into work soon if you’d like”.

“No you take full advantage of the leave. I expect so much of you when you return. A lot. And I know you’ll deliver. The only thing is I’ve noticed you haven’t gone to the therapist we’ve required of you. You’ll need to do that before you get back into work.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary”, I laugh.

“It’s procedure”. Ross is serious now. “You’ll need to get it done in the next two weeks. Minimum three appointments. Otherwise you’re out the job. I don’t want that. You don’t want that. Let’s get it done, okay?”

“Sure. I’ll see the shrink. I’ll be back on top of everything when I get back. Back to being the golden boy, the envy of the office. Won’t let you down.”

“That’s what I like to hear. What’s got you so chipper if I may ask.”

“Things have just been turning around. My attitude has changed. I got a great bunch of friends who are helping me get through this. Turning everything around has been a lot easier than on my own.” David burps as I finish my sentence.

“Great, that’s great. It’s no secret you have potential for the company. That’s why we’re putting all this effort into you. Make me proud Mr. Reckard.” He hangs up the phone.

I look through the mail and find the brochure for the therapist the company has ordered for me to see. ‘Dr. Kendrick’s Feel Good Inc.’ I’ve never gone to talk to anyone about my feelings and have always found the idea to be rather ridiculous. I still have two weeks until I’m due back for work. I figured I’d get ahead of the game and get to an appointment next Monday. If I’m chipper and enthusiastic, perhaps Dr. Kendrick could just write me off as fine after my first visit and I could avoid a return visit.

I pick up my phone and call Feel Good Inc. A young receptionist answers and she pencils in an appointment for Monday. I tell her thanks and take a seat next to David. I hear him snore and wonder how he doesn’t wake himself up in the process. The past few days of him living here with me has allowed me to become accustomed to his snoring. I’m able to block it out of my head at this point.

Fleetwood Mack is still playing, and now the song ‘Dreams’ by Stevie Nix begins to play. It’s one of my favorites. It was originally Camila who got me into Fleetwood Mack, it had always been one for her favorite bands. I remember her practicing her singing by doing covers of Stevie Nix’s work. I’m not sure if I was simply deep in love, but I had always thought Camila blew Ms. Nix out of the water with her performances.

Now it happens. It has crawled into my head, it has burrowed through every burrow my consciousness had placed in front of it. The guilt has set in.

I put my hand over my forehead. Everything had been going so well the past few days!

It all comes back to me. Camila’s singing. The way she would care for me when I’d come home with headaches, or a difficult day at work. He feeble but considerate attempts at cooking me dinner when I got home. Her understanding of the many stupid mistakes I commonly made that got under her skin. Her patience. Her. Everything about her. No woman I’d ever meet could compare to her.

I try to keep these thoughts out of my head. I try to clear my head. I attempt to focus on Sam licking himself. I want to simply concentrate on the next song in the playlist. I even try to focus on David’s monstrous snoring. None of it works.

I’ve slept with another woman. Camila would be so hurt. She was understanding of many things but how could she forgive me for this?

I hear some thunder overhead. The rain has returned. I try my best to hold back sobs. My heart begins to race. I’ve made a mistake. But what could I do now? I again try to tell myself that Camila would be happy for me. But it doesn’t stick. I feel terrible. I feel as if I’ve betrayed her.

I take a few deep breaths. I’m being irrational, that’s all. Jessica is wonderful. And she told me herself, she’s not replacing Camila. Not at all. We were just written in the stars differently or something like that. I begin to relax on the sofa.

“I’m just being stupid”, I tell myself out loud.

“Yeah, you are”, David says under closed eyes.

I manage a smile and throw an extra sofa pillow into his face.