The Woman in the Windowsill

~~~

There’s enough pictures to fill up a decent sized box. After switching phones a few months back I lost Rafe and Claire’s phone numbers. Hopefully they’d be home, and hopefully they’d be willing to speak with me. I pull my honda up and parallel park in front of Camila’s childhood home. Her folks lived about and hour south of us. I would reluctantly join her in visits here when we were together about five times a year.

There’s thunder overhead, but the rain drops haven’t yet reached my location. It would begin pouring soon however.

I awkwardly knock on their front door while holding the box of pictures. I felt there was a sense of desecration if I were to put the box of Camila’s memorabilia onto the floor, so I kept it firmly in my arms. Rafe takes a while to arrive at the door, I knew he was home from his truck parked outside. He opens the door and looks surprised to see me.

“Brett?”, he greets.

“Hey Rafe”. I force a smile. It’s what she would have wanted. He knows this too. While we both know it’s an act, he tries his best to be pleasurable. Until he sees what’s in the box.

“Pictures of my daughter?” He peeps into the box.

“Yeah”, I tell him. “I wanted to give these to you, for a while. I figured you’d want them.”

“I’ve got plenty of pictures of my daughter.”

“I didn’t want to throw them away.”

“Moved on pretty quick”, he assumes.

I sigh under my breath. “Just for the time being”.

He looks at me as if I’ve betrayed Camila. “Thanks”, he says. He grabs the box from me and begins looking through the contents. I stand there awkwardly, wondering if I should just march back to my car and begin the journey back home. Just as I begin to turn around to leave Rafe with the box, Claire calls out to me from behind Rafe.

“Brett!”, she exclaims.

I turn around and smile. “Hey Claire!”.

She nudges Rafe aside and comes out of the doorway and gives me a warm hug. “You haven’t visited us in so long. I’m glad to see you Brett.”

“You too.”

Claire and I always had a great relationship. Where Rafe saw someone stealing his little girl from him, Claire saw me as a great compliment to her daughter. She was definitely the more understanding of the two.

“What can we do for you?”. She returns the smile.

“I just came to drop a box of stuff off. Some of Camila’s”.

She begins to frown as she turns to rummage through the items. “You don’t want them anymore?”

I decide not to play games and to be open with her. “I’m going through a rough time, I think having some of these out of the apartment will make it a little easier on me.”

“He’s found a new woman”, Rafe chimes in. I ignore the comment.

Claire takes my side. “It’s been months Rafe, do you really expect him to grieve until he’s as old as you are?” Claire rubs my arm as she comforts me.

Rafe scoffs and makes his way back inside.

I turn my attention back to Claire. “It’s not like that at all. You know I’ll always love Camila it’s just -”

“Say no more”, she cuts me off. “You were there for her when she was around. There’s nothing to be ashamed of I know you Brett, you cared for her.” Her smile returns. “The only thing you should be ashamed of is not visiting your mother in law more often.”

“That I am guilty of.”

“Come inside, let’s have some tea!” I look through the doorway. “Don’t mind him. He’s always cranky it’s nothing new. You know that.” Claire takes my arm and leads me to her kitchen where I take a seat at the dining room table.

The house has pictures of Camila around the living room and in the doorway. The pictures ranged from her toddler years up until our wedding photos. Claire heats up some water and serves me earl grey tea. She takes a seat aside me and we take our first sips. I can hear Rafe return to the football game on tv off in the living room.

“How’s work?”, Claire asks.

I tell her about my recent performance at work, and of how poorly I’ve been coping recently. Then we begin to catch up on the last few months we haven’t spoken. She tells me about her new job at the local grocery store and the new flooring Rafe put in a few weeks ago. We laugh and chat for a while, but the absence of the woman who brought us together doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I know it looks. Me dumping these photos and stuff on you. It’s just what David recommended. He’s trying to get me back on my feet.”

“Honey I know. Believe me, I do. I know Rafe does too.”

Before I know it I’ve had three cups of tea and I begin to feel jittery.

The conversation begins to stall and I know that it’s about time for me to leave.

“Before you go”, Claire halts. “You don’t mind keeping one little thing of Camila’s around with you, do you?”

I hesitate. “I suppose not. Why?”

“I want to give you something of hers. She always planned on giving it to your daughter. I think it would best be kept by you, of all people.”

That was one of the topics I tried to never let set into my head. My daughter that almost was.

Claire runs upstairs and I sit at the table looking at my empty cup of tea. Before long she’s back. She opens her hand up to unveil a small, rhinestone bracelet.

“What’s this?”, I ask as she hands the bracelet to me.

“She made it in, seventh grade I think. You and I both know she absolutely hated middle school. So she was always into arts and crafts at that time. She was so creative with crafts before she decided to give it a shot at being a subway singer in the city”. Claire giggles under her breath. However, I can tell it hurts her to give the bracelet to me.

“You don’t need to do this”, I tell her.

“Stop Brett, my gift to you. I know she’d want you to have it. You’ll always be the father of her child.”

I give Claire a big hug and make my way to the front door. Rain is coming down heavy now. I glance at my and Camila’s wedding picture in the foyer as I step outside.