The way I used to live

Arjun's POV:

All the marriage arrangements are going smoothly. The day before yesterday, Daksha's parents came to give the wedding invitation from their side. Finally, I got a chance to meet them. They were a lovely and humble couple. They behaved like they had known me for ages.

I didn't feel like they were strangers as well. Her Dad told me a lot about Daksha's childhood.

Even though they were looking happy, I felt like they were in some kind of pain. I don't know, it might be my imagination.

Finally, the following day was the one when my wedding was going to take place.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Maybe the wedding jitters. Indra and Dhruv were there with me to calm my nerves, not before laughing at my situation though.

Dharshit couldn't attend my wedding as he was so busy handling his recent project.

He already apologized for his absence. I understood his situation and didn't force him to do so.

As we didn't have any extended family or any close relatives, Indra's and Dhruv's families were the only ones from my side.

Sudha Aunty already informed Daksha's Mom that she was going to attend the wedding from the groom's side and they agreed to it gladly.

As for my grandfather, a month back, he went on a pilgrimage along with his friends and also to see the world.

As this wedding was not a pre-planned one, he couldn't make it. I really wanted him to be with me on this important day of my life but I had to understand the situation.

Mom and Ammu were handling everything very well. They were not letting me do anything but how could I make them do everything? So, I also helped them with what I could.

Mom told me to wake up early the next day as some rituals were to be performed. So, after having my dinner, I immediately came to my room to get some sleep.

I laid on my bed and took my phone. My fingers automatically went to open the picture of Daksha which was shared by her Mom on the day they came to give the card. My lips curled up into a smile upon seeing her divine looking face.

She really has a beautiful smile that can captivate the heart of anyone. Her every feature is flawless. She is a sight that I want to wake up to see every day.

My smile increased even more after remembering her well-planned dinner date.

How much I loved her hand made food! I remembered the little moments that we both shared that day.

When I kissed her, I recalled how her beautiful face was adorned with a tinge of rosiness. She was damn adorable and definitely a sight to behold.

After thinking about something, I immediately sent a long message to her and drifted into sleep with the thoughts of that message that might help her.

The next day, Mom woke me up. She told me to get ready for the rituals and handed me a white dhoti to wear as a part of the ritual. After wearing it, I went downstairs.

Mom ushered me to the lawn where the ritual was going to take place. I went there and took my seat. As it was still dawn, the sky was not clear.

They made me take the auspicious bath which was required for both bride and groom on the wedding day. So, as a groom, I had to perform it.

It is known as Mañgala snānam. It is said that this ritual aims to purify us and make us prepared to perform the sacred rites.

I was done with the bath and when I was about to get up from the seat, Indra poured a bucket full of turmeric water on me, making me drenched again.

It was a cue for the water fight to break out. We only stopped it when elders intervened in between.

Everyone was watching us with a smile on their face, especially Mom. She looked so happy that it was even reflecting in her eyes.

After that, my Mom asked me to clean myself and told me to get ready as we were going to the wedding venue. The remaining rituals were going to be performed there only.

I got ready and went to them. After assuring that all gifts for the bride's side people were placed in the car, we all started towards the farmhouse of Daksha's family as the wedding was going to take place there itself.

.....

It was the day before my wedding. Our house was filled with the hustle-bustle of our relatives.

As we planned for a simple wedding with limited guests, only the close relatives of my family were there.

My mamayya's(maternal uncle) family and pedda nanna's (paternal uncle) family came on the previous day itself. My day passed with all the teasings from my cousins and my girls.

That morning, Mom invited some beauticians and they did a good job of grooming us. After that, some henna artists visited us.

I asked them to make simple designs but before they could get a chance to accept it, Sadhvi Vadhina(daughter of my maternal uncle) came out of nowhere.

She told them to ignore my requests and ordered them to make pretty designs on my hands and legs.

Hearing me whine, even Mom came to me and gave me a good lecture. Having no choice, I agreed with them.

They even made all three of the girls get the mehndi designs on their hands.

I grinned at them after seeing them making faces at my mom and Sadhvi Vadhina.

When they asked me about the groom's name to include it in the design, Aarna, who was seated beside Yuktha, shouted Arjun's name loudly from there itself.

In return, she earned a good smack from Yuktha for shouting near her ears.

It was followed by everyone teasing me from the background which made me even more embarrassed.

After sitting in the same position for more than an hour, they were finally done with the designs on both of my hands and legs. I released a sigh of relief and seated myself there itself.

Rishu's family and Yuktha's Mom would come directly to the wedding the next day as they were busy with their own things but Aarna's parents already came to our house to offer their help with the marriage arrangements.

Her Dad stayed at my house only to help my Dad, though her Mom left earlier as she had to take care of Aarna's sister.

When she came here, they both didn't even pass a glance at each other. I sighed recollecting their behavior. I really hoped for them to reconcile soon.

Mom and my peddamma(paternal aunt) fed us all some food, as our hands were filled with Mehendi.

Afterward, all the cousins and girls formed a circle. They played all kinds of weird games and finally ended it with antakshari.

All of them went to their rooms to hit their beds. I went to the lawn, sat on the swing, and started thinking about the big day in my life.

I really didn't want to marry without the presence of my grandfather and my brother. Especially in our culture, brothers play a crucial role in the wedding.

I know everything was happening so suddenly. But this was the time where I needed my brother the most and he was so busy with something else.

I couldn't even urge him to attend it. I wanted Teju to be with me but I knew it was impossible. How was I going to take up all the responsibilities without them beside me?

I badly needed my brother to cheer me up and I wanted him to assure me that everything was going to be fine.

Thinking about all these things, a tear escaped my eyes. I didn't even bother to wipe it off. I just let them flow like that.

"Missing me, aren't you?" I heard a voice that made my head snap in that direction.

I couldn't believe my eyes. He was really there. My brother was really there.

He stood with his hands crossed across his chest while leaning on to the connecting door of the house and lawn.

I just sat there, looking at him wide-eyed to make sure that he was there for real and it was not a dream.

Seeing my dumbfounded state, he walked up to me and sat beside me on the swing.

He clicked his fingers in front of my face which made me come out of my stupor. After realizing it, I started hitting him with my dried Mehendi hands.

He just sat there and let me do whatever I wanted. After hitting him for a while, I hugged him tightly and started sobbing in his chest.

"Darling, you know I completed everything so quickly and came here to surprise you. I thought it would make you happy. Instead of being happy, why are you crying now?" he asked me and made me look at him.

"Don't you know the reason already? Idiot! I missed you so much and I really wanted your presence on the big day of my life but you told me that you couldn't attend it. You know, I am damn nervous. I am so afraid to take up the responsibility that comes with a marriage. I want your assurance. I want your support," I told him and turned my face to the other side and continued.

"When you told me that you couldn't attend my marriage, I wanted to shout at you for that but I felt like I had lost every right to demand anything from you long ago. I felt like I am indebted to you and that I didn' deserve your precious pampering and everything.

"That's why I didn't force you to attend the wedding. Though I didn't insist on you at that time, now I am really craving your presence. I want us to return to our old selves where we used to live without this hesitation between us but I know it is highly impossible. One incident was enough to snatch everything from us." Suddenly, I was taken into a warm embrace of my brother.

"I know. I am trying to be the best brother for you. I missed you a lot too. Do you think that I enjoyed living alone, far away from everyone? No, I didn't. But I did not have any other choice. So even if it was difficult to leave you all, I did it. I achieved what I wanted. Now I am back for good. So don't cry anymore, and from now on, I will always be there for you and never leave you again." He told me and kissed my hair.

I managed to pass him a smile in between my crying. I again started talking after a while.

"I miss her so much, Anna. There is not a day that passes without me thinking about her. Why is God so cruel to us? If he wanted to snatch her from us then why did he bring her into our lives? Why did he make us believe that life was so beautiful and left us alone to face the harsh reality? Was the beautiful life that he portrayed to us was just an illusion? Why, Anna?"

"Though we were living happily without her in our lives, she made our lives even happier with her presence. Now happiness is a far fetched dream for us. What was the crime that we all had committed to getting this kind of punishment? Life is unfair. God is biased and our fate is so cruel. It's hurting a lot, Anna," I told him while clutching my chest and started sobbing even more.

I felt the wetness on my shoulders and felt his body shaking against me. It was enough for me to realize that he too was crying. I hugged him even tighter and patted his back in a consoling manner.

"It is hurting a lot when thinking about the injustice we faced in the past. At least I am experiencing a little bit of happiness after Arjun came into my life and I am getting addicted to that happiness again which is making me scared. Scared that once I get used to him, God might snatch him from me too. Losing Teju itself is a big wound in my life and I can't experience the same pain again, Anna. I am not sure that I can withstand that pain when I face it again."

"Shh..everything will be alright. Don't worry. She will always have a place in our hearts. Nothing will go wrong again and I will make sure of that. I don't want to lose you too. So, just focus on your married life and leave the rest up to me," he assured me after wiping his tears and I nodded at him.

"You know, Anna? Arjun is a good person. He is so caring and always considers my feelings in everything He faced a lot in his past. Now he is recovering from the pain that was caused by his past. I don't know what he feels towards me but his every action makes me feel so special and creates hope in my life that I too deserve happiness. But can I trust my instincts? Can I ever make him happy?" I asked him after releasing myself from his embrace.

He wiped the remnants of the tears on my face and tried to say something but got interrupted by the pinging of my mobile.

After hearing it, I knew that I received a message from Arjun without even seeing it as I made a specific and separate ringtone for his calls and messages.

I took my phone and tried to unlock it but dried Mehendi on my hands was making it an impossible task.

Seeing my struggle he took the phone and unlocked it after pressing the password that he knew very well by heart.

After unlocking it, he opened the message and read it aloud. My lips curled into a smile after hearing the content of that message.

[Hope I am not disturbing you. I suddenly thought about something and immediately messaged to tell you that you are not the only one who is having wedding jitters.

Even my condition isn't any better than yours. So, don't worry about anything. We both have things that we fear the most. We will overcome it together.

I just want you to be there with me in every situation and I promise you that I will make you the happiest person in this world. Your smile is the best thing that I like about you. So, never let it slip away from your lips.

Have a good night's sleep and get ready to welcome the new life with your open arms.

-Arjun ]

"Looks like consolation from my side is not necessary now. One text from him is enough to bring a smile to your face when my presence itself utterly failed in doing so. You know, I am feeling so jealous of him," he said in a dramatic way, which resulted in me blushing a lot.

I smacked his arm and snatched the phone from him. After that, I made a quick run towards my room.

He laughed out loud and I could still hear him laughing while I was going to my room.