The Stars are Dying: Chapter 12
We suffered through a night of being jostled by the carriage in our awkward sleeping arrangement until we stopped at an inn in the next town. I said nothing at the unfairness of knowing Cassia had Calix to lean against for comfort. They shared a room two floors down from mine, the only remaining vacancy the establishment had.
I paced restlessly around my own room. It wasn’t anything other than the night that kept me awake, but I glanced out the small box window often to track the stars by habit. I was considering leaving the room, having not changed out of my gown or even taken off my boots, when a soft knock made me jump.
The door creaked open, but I relaxed as soon as I saw the head of sleek black hair curve around the wood. Cassia beamed at me upon finding me awake. She didn’t enter fully; instead she thrust out her hand, and though it was concealed in a rag, the sloshing when she wiggled it told me she held what had to be some kind of alcohol.
“I can’t sleep either. Come on,” she whispered loudly.
Her grin made my giddiness break through. I didn’t care where she planned to go as I slung on my cloak and followed her out. We slipped through a door that startled my nerves to pass, the words “STAFF ONLY: DO NOT ENTER” written on it, which Cassia seemed oblivious to. Then we walked up a narrow staircase until we exited onto a flat stretch of the roof that glittered with a coat of frost.
“Is this really a good idea?” I asked, hugging my cloak tighter while my breath blew out in clouds.
Cassia giggled, wedging something into the door to keep it from locking us out. “Probably not, but I don’t really care.”
I couldn’t help but join her in her soft amusement.
Cassia slipped, catching her balance, and my own footing skidded as I jerked toward her. We laughed at the ice making our steps clumsy, far enough from the edge that we began to slide on purpose, until the air speared our lungs and the night was alive with the sounds of our joy.
We slumped down, catching our breath from our childish antics. Cassia had fortunately managed to keep her stolen liquor safe. I wasn’t thrilled with the whiskey that had always been Hektor’s preferred drink, but I longed for the effects it could bring to pass the night and take the cold away.
Cassia took the first long drink, and I winced with her before she held it out to me.
“How did you slip out from Calix?” I asked. The liquid burned every second it was in my throat, but I swallowed several gulps.
“He sleeps like the dead, thankfully.”
“Did you two…?” I tried to be subtle, but I couldn’t help my grin.
Cassia flushed, pushing me sideward and swiping the bottle. She took another drink before answering. “Not all the way, but we did…things.” She set the bottle down, burying her face in her gloved hands like she didn’t know how to talk of it. “With his hands, and his mouth. Stars above, I didn’t know people could do things like that.”
I bit my lip, thrilled by her excitement. “I can’t believe you went this long without giving in to him. He’s been pining after you for years.”
Something fell in her expression, and I wanted to retract what I’d said, but she was quick to brush it away. “I want it to be right. And an inn on the way to the Central isn’t exactly romantic. Maybe it’s silly after all this time, but I want it to be perfect.”
My hand reached for hers. “It’s not silly at all.” Sighing, I pulled my hood up to lie against the slanted side of the roof. “None of it matters if the feelings aren’t there. You’ve had that to treasure with him for far longer than sex.”
Cassia joined me in lying back. “You didn’t…?” she asked carefully.
“I don’t know what I had with Hektor. I knew that it was safe and that I had a lot of figuring out to do before I could face the world without his help. He told me he loved me often; I said it back, and sometimes I truly believed it. I wanted life with him to work after all he’d done for me, but he would always be cruel. Now I don’t think I’ll ever say that word again. Love. Because I’m scared to think of him with it.”
“I should have seen it sooner,” Cassia said.
I shook my head, mapping the stars with no hard feelings. “It wasn’t your job to see it, and I didn’t want you to. I was planning to leave him eventually. I just needed more time, and that’s why I didn’t agree to go with you. I didn’t want you implicated in that escape plan when I knew he would come after me.”
Cassia sat up abruptly, swiping the bottle and taking several swigs before holding it out to me. “To the death of that bastard. And to your bravery for breaking free.”
I didn’t think I deserved her praise, but I accepted the offering. The burn of alcohol began to numb, and I wasn’t certain how much more I drank before I set it down panting.
“Now, if only I could get my damn memories back,” I said. My balance swayed a little as I got to my feet. “Maybe if I’d had a better lover in the past I could even exchange scandalous bedroom affairs with you now.”
Cassia planted her hands on her hips, slipping as she got to her feet, and I giggled. “He didn’t even satisfy in the bedroom? Stars, I hate him!” she yelled skyward.
“Shh…” I slipped and skated over to her, the air becoming an infusion of our laughter and alcohol. “We can’t hate on the dead—they might come back to haunt us,” I said.
Cassia huffed, reaching into her cloak and fiddling with something for longer than necessary with the effects of the whiskey. She unclipped the belt of six small daggers, taking three before holding the others out to me.
“Precarious heights and very sharp implements don’t pair well with whiskey,” I commented, but I took the remaining knives anyway.
“I figured we could both use a release,” she said. Finding a discarded wine crate, she sloppily set it up across the roof.
“Sounds like you got plenty of that tonight already.”
Cassia gaped at me, and it was too easy not to enjoy the teasing. It drifted all our burdens afar. “Fair point,” she said, composing herself and taking an expert stance.
Knife throwing was a particular favorite sport. I’d tried swords, but they never felt right compared to the lightweight precision of daggers. Despite her impairment from the liquor, Cassia’s first knife lodged into the wine crate with perfect accuracy.
“If there’s one thing you’re not allowed to give up on, it’s love, Astraea. That’s a demand.”
I threw my own blade, and it hit close to hers. “I didn’t say I’d given up. I love you, don’t I?”
“I don’t just mean platonic love,” she amended.
I groaned, rolling my eyes. “What’s it good for anyway? Lust can be satisfied without such things that only serve to trick or make one vulnerable.”
“Just promise me you won’t stop believing it’s out there for you.” She turned to me after letting go of her second blade.
My brow arched at her seriousness, and I used my next throw to distract myself from the unease that threatened my growing buzz. “I’m sure you won’t let that happen,” I mused.
“I’m not always going to be here.”
My arm dropped at her sudden change of tone. I couldn’t look at her, barely able to keep my lip from wobbling.
The crack of a whip against stone made us both whirl around. It came from over the edge.
“Hurry up!” a man hissed.
I copied Cassia’s stealth to crouch and observe the commotion. Finding a large cage on wheels, I nearly gasped at the forms being forced inside. It looked to be something crafted for animals, but these were people, albeit like none I had seen before.
“They’re fae,” Cassia said with an air of wonder.
The term pricked my interest, faint knowledge trickling in, but it was overshadowed by the sorry sight of them. I couldn’t understand why they were being herded. Some had dark skin, others pale, plus some beautiful shades in between, and they could’ve almost passed for human if it weren’t for their pointed ears. Except some had particularly mesmerizing traits. A tall, slim male wrapped a tail around his lower leg to prevent it from being stepped on. Another petite female had small horns peeking out of short black hair. They all kept their heads bowed, submitting to the voice of authority that threatened punishment if they didn’t enter the iron wagon.
“I wasn’t sure if it was true,” Cassia said quietly. Her brow firmed with calculated anger as she watched them. “People see the fae so rarely that many believed they were extinct with the celestials.”
I had certainly never seen them, only in fairy tales—or those I had thought to be. “Where are they taking them?” I dreaded to ask.
The man with the whip cast his eyes up, and we ducked lower on instinct.
“To the Central,” Cassia said. “I guess it’s true. They used to say the king enlisted all fae to join his army after the Faelestial War and they were to reside in the Central. They have earthbound abilities. From the Mother Deity. They weren’t weakened by the quake centuries ago—that only affected the solar magick the celestials depend on.”
“They’re being forced,” I said, though it was an obvious observation.
“Not all of them. But the fae were great allies with the celestials. There were those who believed in the King of the Gods and joined him. Others resisted, and they were said to be hunted, given one last chance at mercy, and if they didn’t bend to him they were killed.”
“Stop, please!” a woman wailed.
My pulse spiked as we lifted ourselves enough to look over the edge again. I wanted to tell her to stop as I watched her run straight toward the vampire holding the whip, but it wasn’t he who halted her. A hand went over my mouth before I could gasp, and Cassia held me. Wings swooped down, near blending into the night, but the moon revealed a leathery texture as they landed.
Nightcrawlers.
“I’ll be okay!” a younger female fae cried, sobbing as she was pushed into the carriage. Her hair was the tone of honey, a beautiful mix of brown and blonde in a high braided ponytail against a fair complexion.
I strained against Cassia. Stars, I wouldn’t be much help, and it was a fool’s impulse, but watching them felt so damn helpless it was tearing me up inside.
Cassia removed the hand from my mouth.
“Please,” the woman tried again. She was human, and I wondered if that was her daughter as something felt so heart-wrenchingly maternal about her plea.
“This is all the more reason to win the Libertatem,” Cassia said with a low, lethal edge. “Not just win but destroy it. They would be safe from this barbaric round-up too if there weren’t vampires here to carry it out.”
Cassia had never seen her position as a burden. The bravery in her desire to become the people’s savior would never fail to strike me with powerful pride.
“She will serve the true king, or she will die,” the soulless leader sang cruelly.
“No—!”
I lurched back in horror at witnessing the nightcrawler lunge for her, head angled for her neck, but it wasn’t her scream that pierced the night. It was the younger fae’s. My blood turned to ice with it and my heart cracked. The fae tried to exit the wagon, but the iron bars slammed closed sharply.
“We have to do something,” I breathed.
Helpless. I was so useless and helpless to them.
Cassia knew it. “We’d only get ourselves killed and lose our only real chance if we don’t make it to the Central.”
The fae girl clung to the bars as she cried, and I wanted to hold her, comfort her, and tear her eyes away from the gruesome sight she was locked onto. The soulless cracked the whip against the iron, making me wince, and the carriage jolted forward.
As the nightcrawler let go with a guttural moan, my stomach heaved.
We slumped out of view against the slanted part of the roof, and my breaths blew clouds against the bitter temperature as I tried to calm myself. This was real, this world of monsters I’d ventured out into as someone vulnerable and out of her depth. Cassia took my hand, and I squeezed back. She was all that was keeping me safe and grounded when I didn’t know how the hell I’d ever survive the lurking terrors on my own.
She swiped the bottle of whiskey and took a long drink until she panted, extending it out to me. I took it eagerly, needing to erase the cries that echoed in my ears even after the rolling wheels of the carriage were long gone.
Standing, I flipped my final knife then threw it.
Cassia eased a smile. “At least I’ve made my mark on you,” she commented, watching the blade soar to hit the center of the box.
“I’m glad you pestered me into it.”
“It wasn’t like you took much coaxing. You’re practically a natural with the blades and a bow. You picked up the same skill level in three years as I did my whole life.”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t say the same level.”
Cassia’s final dagger hit a little off to the left. She huffed. “You’re right. Sometimes better.”
I waved her off. “You’ve had more to drink.”
As I said it, Cass swiped the bottle again, holding it up to me with a devilish smirk before she brought it to her lips. Then she squinted at the bottle, tipping it upside down to be sure it was empty.
“We probably shouldn’t have drunk it all—” A hiccup escaped me, and we broke into quiet giggles that made the grim event we’d witnessed easier to deal with.
My face fell as I glanced one last time over the side of the building. All was still. Yet the speck on the ground that could have been mistaken as a crate reminded me a life had been taken and discarded as no more than that.
Cassia’s backtracking snapped me out of my tunneling sorrow. “Seriously, sometimes it’s like you have this whole trove of skills somehow locked away.”
“Hardly,” I said.
“Except for swordplay.”
“Swords are heavy.”
“We all have our weaknesses.”
“And yours are…?”
Cassia pretended to think long and hard, and I nudged her playfully. “It’s cold as shit,” she said through chattering teeth. “Come on.”
I followed her inside, where clumsily we made it to the main room that hosted nighttime gambling and drinking. It was still thriving.
Cassia was already at the bar ordering a drink while I scanned the establishment carefully. It wasn’t as esteemed as Hektor’s. In this setting the air stung with heavy notes of cheap ale and unwashed bodies. The furniture was all wooden and aged. My vision was lagging and sometimes doubling. It had been so long since I’d even come close to being drunk, but I was riding an unexplainable high tonight and could conquer anything.
At a rowdy burst of laughter and jeering, I found a man standing from his seat in frustration and defeat while those around him jostled him playfully. Another seated man rearranged something on the table.
“My prize still stands, lads. Two gold coins if you figure it out.”
A tankard was thrust in front of me, and I took it but didn’t look away from them.
“What do you think it is?” I asked Cassia.
She squinted over at them. “A game, perhaps.”
“A puzzle,” a low voice corrected.
I turned to find a tall man with dark brown hair and gleaming brown eyes. My intuition told me not to trust him, and I shuffled closer to Cass, studying what I could of his attire and finding some element of it to be familiar—such as the texture of the leather, almost like layered scales. The form was fitted, and an elegant cloak was clasped at one shoulder.
“You’re great at those!” Cassia’s cheer stole my observations.
“No, I’m not,” I insisted as she tried to drag me away.
“Sure, you are! Remember that time…”
Cassia reeled off every memory of us playing cards, games, and figuring out the smallest riddle while she pulled me over to the table. By the time we stood before the men, all attention was on us.
I looked down to see what it was. Matchsticks had been arranged in the shape of a boxy house, and my brow furrowed, my mind already trying to figure it out without hearing the object of the game.
“You ladies want a try?” the older man coaxed.
I surveyed them again, wanting nothing more than to leave at the crawling sensation I’d been here before. But my sights on the puzzle kept me in place.
“She does!” Cassia exclaimed, pulling out the chair and pushing me down onto it.
I could figure it out quickly. Then we would sleep.
The man gave a hearty chuckle that relaxed my nerves around the others. “No one has solved it tonight, girl. Have your try. Move two matches to make five squares. Once you move them, your try is up.”
I barely heard the final sentence. The room drifted away as I rearranged the matchsticks over and over in my mind. The noise of the inn faded, and the only thing that took me a few beats longer than necessary was my drunken state.
Picking my two chosen matchsticks off the roof, I crossed them vertically and horizontally, placing them inside the body of the four-matchstick house. I grinned, but when my senses returned it wasn’t as rowdy as I remembered. When I looked up, the men were blinking at the table, stunned, though I couldn’t understand why. Cassia’s squeal beside me jerked my body.
Finally, the man parallel to me began to rumble with laugher, leaning back in his seat. “Drinks for the ladies! They’ve earned it,” he called across the room.
I became rigid with alarm. “Let’s go,” I said to Cassia.
“Aw, but this is so fun! There must be another one!”
When two small glasses were placed in front of us, my gaze trailed up to the hand that had left them. The brown-haired man fixed eyes of intrigue on me. Then flashes of gold hit the table.
I shook my head. “I don’t want your money.”
“Something wrong with it?” he challenged.
It seemed to attract the attention of the others, whose eyes roved over me. I realized my error in making them think I was wealthy enough to deny such a prize.
“No. Thank you.” I swiped the coin.
Standing, I pulled Cassia up, but before I could guide her away she held the prize drink out to me.
“Cheers!” She clinked her glass against mine, and I couldn’t help but search for the brown-haired man. He was nowhere to be seen.
Tipping the burning contents down my throat, I took Cassia’s hand, and we left the main room. Once we were out of the commotion, exhaustion hit hard and fast. The steps felt like a mountain, and I knew we’d overdone it tonight. Our suffering tomorrow would be our punishment.
Cassia didn’t go back to Calix. She continued to follow me up the stairs as I cursed the top-floor position. “Did you see their faces?” she laughed into the wall, and watching her roused my own bubble of giggles.
We crawled pathetically upstairs, tumbling into each other and earning various hisses to be quiet from other guests peeking out at the commotion through their doors. I locked mine once we were inside the room. Then we threw ourselves onto the bed, unable to change or even take off our boots. The room tilted nauseatingly.
“You should go back to your overprotective boyfriend,” I slurred.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Cassia said, just as drunk and tired as me. I smiled, getting to tease her back about it now. “And he’s certainly not my keeper. I want to stay right here.” She patted the bed, and I smiled as my lids slipped shut.
I should take off my shoes. Stars, it had been so long since I’d consumed this much alcohol. The last and only time that surfaced in my memory was when I’d slipped into Hektor’s study while he was away. One glass had led to two until I’d consumed the whole bottle and he’d come back to find my sorry state sprawled across his desk. My punishment was to be locked in my room for three days. Now I grinned, darkly joyous at his death since he couldn’t ever reprimand me for this again.
“I want to see the world,” Cassia said through our peaceful silence. “All five kingdoms competing in the Libertatem. Then Constants Bay, Volanis, the Central, even Celestia.”
It was a wonderful thought, to see the whole continent in our lifetime. Maybe Cassia could if she won immortality and joined the Golden Guard.
“Do you think we can cross the veil?” I asked, enjoying the fantasy.
“I think we could convince the celestials to let us through.”
“You can be very persuasive.”
“Do you remember that time we snuck out to the winter show? We convinced the set coordinator we were sisters of the pianist.”
“Yes, though I’m still certain you could have gotten us special tickets by asking your father.”
“That would have been no fun!”
While we laughed, notes of sorrow started to weigh on me. I missed those days.
“I like to dance,” I said, unsure why I felt like sharing the unimportant secret. I rolled onto my side to get comfortable. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you. Hektor’s establishment had many who were gifted at it. They were beautiful to watch.”
Cassia faced me, and my lids fluttered open onto her thoughtful expression. “You’re beautiful too, Astraea. I can’t wait to see you dance. On a stage someday.”