The Silent Alpha

FFWARNING**

The following chapter contains a scene with self harm and abuse.

Reader discretion is advised, I will place (*) asterisk when the abuse self-harm begins for those of you who wish to Skip.

x *RXZQPEREE

What are you so nervous about? Grayson mutters as we walk over to the main pack house, my legs barely able to drag me to our destination.

We need this training! What use is our gift if we can't use it? I know he's right but that doesn't stop the fear somersaulting in my belly.

My father always said I was weak.

What if my power truly is weak and worthless? Then what? Then we learn to fight like any other f****"g mutt! Grayson growls in annoyance.

Talia and Agnes walk silently behind me, both equally nervous for our first day in our new assignments.

Kota appears to be the only one excited to visit the River Moon wolves.

To keep herself calm, Agnes holds her butterfly in her hand, the beautiful creature crawling along her finger and fluttering its wings.

She had kept it in her room since we arrived in River Moon and it seemed to give her comfort.

I would have to thank Salvador again for Talia fidgets with the sack lunch that I prepared for her this morning, wrinkling the paper bag with her fingers.

To my surprise, she took the lunch willingly and my heart only soared higher when I noticed she was still wearing the gold bracelet I gave her.

I just hope she will still be okay with me when she reads my note today.

Quit worrying.

We were smooth, Grayson grins We finally approach the pack house, Rosalie already waiting for us with her young pup cradled in her arms.

"Come with me Agnes,” She smiles warmly at her before turning to Talia and I.

"Aurora is in the entertainment room waiting for you."

Talia and I exchange nervous glances and make our way to the entertainment room where we find Aurora sitting on the floor with her eyes closed, Oliver combing through her hair with tenderness, as if her hair were made of silk.

Evan sits on the couch, watching the two with friendly disgust while Rio sits lazily at his feet.

Oliver leans in close to his mate and kisses her temples, murmuring soothing words in her ears. The Queen looks completely relaxed in his lap as he begins to gently braid her hair into one long french braid, her breaths slow and steady.

It almost feels wrong to watch such an intimate moment between two loving mates and I feel a pain in my heart.

Would Talia ever trust me enough to let me care for her as the Rio jumps up to greet Kota and the two roll around the floor playfully.

"Please sit," Aurora says, her eyes fluttering open as Oliver ties up the braid.

Kota stops his play for a moment and we bow our heads in reverence to the timid Queen.

"My sister will be here soon for you, Talia.You can wait here while I take Zane to the training grounds.Kota can stay at the daycare or here with Rosalie and Agnes.It's up to you and what you feel most comfortable with."

"Here," Talia replies almost immediately.

"H-here, please.” The Queen smiles brilliantly at her as she rises to her feet with Oliver's help. "Then it shall be so.” Oliver grabs his coat and car keys from the coffee table and prepares to take off.

"Be safe," Oliver murmurs as he kisses his Queen on the cheek before he glares at me.

"If you hurt her, I will kill you.Understand?" he threatens, his voice a low growl.

I nod obediently, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Aurora rolls her eyes at her mate and pacifies him with a kiss.

"No you will not," she chuckles.

"Just like you seek a connection with your mate, Grayson seeks a connection with you.” I don't like him, Grayson mutters.

He's an i**"t.

Aurora frowns at me.

"You will not earn his trust by belittling him, “she says sternly, Grayson rolling his eyes at her.” "Don’t make him fear more ashamed of himself than he already is, Wolf You know his pain better than anyone.” He doesn't trust me! Grayson snarls

I watched for years what Dad did to us and did he ever let me in to help? No! He put me in a corner and forced me to watch him suffer! I could feel the hurt in his voice as he growled out his frustration.

"I..didn't even like myself..." I reply.

"I didn't think you'd like me either or want to help...so I thought it was better to put you away.” Grayson doesn't reply, wallowing in his own frustration.

"I stare at my hands, afraid to look Aurora in the eyes but she suddenly moves closer to me and holds my wrists care or listen,” she says quietly.

"But Grayson is your other half and he will never leave your side..no matter how much you hurt him.He is part of your soul.” I pull at the mat on the ground before I finally speak to Grayson.

“I'm sorry.I'm sorry I locked you out. didn't know what else to do ...I whisper.I'm sorry too, hesighs.I should have fought harder to break through.”

"Okay...this is good, " Aurora smiles.

“Now work together to enter my head.I'll put my walls down to make this easier-"

"But how do I enter your mind? " I ask, looking over at Evan who looks bored by our silent staring contest.

"Every time I enter someone's head on purpose, I hurt them. " Aurora nods as she assesses my concerns before replying.

"Think of thoughts as rivers.

All of them are flowing at different speeds and currents and unfortunately, they are all coming towards you.

You, however, have the power to build dams and slow the rivers down or stop them completely from coming at you.

To enter my mind, all you really have to do is let my thoughts come through.

Build a dam to block the other rivers you hear.

It's not about forcing your way into my head, it's about letting the river flow between us.

Once the connection flows between us, you can build little dams and slow down the current of information that's coming at you so that you can. She closes our connection and sits patiently across from me, closing her eyes and giving me her trust.

Okay, wecando this ...I reassure myself, closing my eyes and stepping into the dark abyss of my mind.Just let the voices flow like a river...

Grayson encourages.I slowly let my walls down, both Evan and Aurora's voices entering my mind at incredible speed.l almost put up the wall again when Grayson'’s voice comes through.

Build the dams and slow the rivers down...he reminds me.

I imagine myself physically blocking the voices and they start to slow down until I can understand them.

"Why are they just sitting on the floor with their eyes closed? Are they meditating?" Evan's thoughts come through.

I build a dam until Evan's voice fades out, leaving me only with Aurora's.

"Can you hear me? " I call out, nervous as hell that I may hurt her.

"Yes" she cries.

"You are doing so good! Don't be afraid.Make your way around if you like. What do you see?" "Nothing " I mumble, looking around at the empty blackness.

"That's okay, " she says.

"Just listen to the thoughts.Follow the fiver."

pitch black, I suddenly hear a small scream, so faint, I almost don't hear it.

Follow it, Grayson instructs.l walk into the emptiness where the sound came from until I hear it again, this time louder, sharper, more desperate.

A sudden bright flash blurs my vision and my eyes burst open so that a ray of light beams out of them like a movie projector, small images taking form on the ground in front of me.

Aurora and Evan gather around me and stare at memories that play like a film for us to watch baw It appears to be a memory playing from Aurora's point of view and we see several kids gathering around her, holding their books and backpacks up like weapons

They seem to have cornered her at the back of a bus, Aurora cowering on the ground with her arms raised above her head.

Aurora looks up at the bus driver as if begging for help but he does nothing, ignoring the cruelty that is about to take place.

The kids throw the books at her, spitting on her and kicking her until they grow bored and settle back into their seats.

The memory blurs for a moment before coming into focus again.

Aurora remains on the floor, too afraid to move until the bus comes to a halt at a pack, most of the kids eager to get off.

Aurora gathers herself off the floor, limping to the front while wiping the blood off her face.

The bus driver doesn't even spare her a second glance, snapping at her to hurry up and get off. memory blurs even further from her tears as she stumbles her way down a road until she reaches a large pack house.

She uses a back entrance and silently limps down to the basement, throwing her tattered backpack on an old cot.She gets down on her knees and shoves her hand under the cot until she finds a small sharp razor.

Blinking away her tears, she waddles over to the bathroom.

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach as I watch her lock the door with shaking hands.

She covers the mirror with a large towel, her eyes refusing to meet her reflection.

Aurora turns on the cold faucet and holds her wrist over the sink, revealing a sea of scars on her tender flesh.

I want to stop the memory but I can seem to close my eyes as I watch in horror what Aurora does next.

The razor breaks through the skin with ease as Aurora slides it across her wrist, a trail of blood following in its wake.

Blood trickles down her arm into the sink but she only raises the blade again and makes a second cut, throwing her head back in pain... and relief.

Unable to watch any further, I force my eyes shut, tears spilling onto my cheeks.

For a long time, the three of us remain frozen in place, none of us uttering a word about what we just witnessed until Evan breaks the silence, shifting into a large brown wolf with green eyes.

His wolf settles beside his Queen, laying his head on her lap and "It's alright, Bodhi,” she soothes him as he whimpers.

"I survived.I'm okay now."

Bodhi (Evan“s wolf) only whines, his heart breaking for his Luna.

As her gamma, he felt her pain almost as if it were his own and it hurt him to see her so broken at one point.

'l am so sorry," I say through our connection.

"I didn't know... didn’t know that-"

Despite the tears in her eyes, she smiles warmly at me.

"It's not your fault...” she sighs.

"At least now we know that you cannot only see and hear my thoughts and memories, but you can also project them out for others to see.Even I cannot do that. can still sense a lot of power in you so it's likely there's more to your gift. We'll just have to keep practicing.”

I am both shocked and relieved that she is not angry with me for exposing such a sensitive memory to hcr gamma and that she is willing to continue our training.

"I think this is a good place to stop for now..."she says, stroking Bodhi'“s head.

"We can pick it up again tomorrow when both Evan and I feel..better.”

Bodhi rises to his feet, nudging the Queen with his head to get on his back.

Aurora obliges, climbing onto her gamma and the three of us return to the Pack house.