The Rise to Godhood

Gaia, Areela, and Zelinko were driving their hovercraft around the empty tundras surrounding the Garden of Eden, a project they had worked on since their arrival on Earth. The Garden survived due to the water purifiers constructed inside the protective forcefield and mirrors that captured the weak solar light that gets into the dome. Yet there was a problem. The Zetans hadn’t travelled to Earth to practice gardening; they had come to help Gaia save humanity. To do that, they needed to find some humans to live in the garden and thrive.

“Some primitive humans are living in this ice age. Alas, you might not like what you see.”

True Maker’s voice echoed in Gaia’s head. What did her mother mean? They had been looking for humans for weeks; why wouldn’t she like what she saw?

“There are humanoids over there. Are those the humans we are looking for?” Zelinko shouted, stopped the hovercraft, and handed Gaia a binocular.

Gaia looked at the creatures in the distance. They looked human, yet she felt no connection to them as they looked dumb and primitive. The group was grilling something over a fire.

“Those are humans. Let’s park our hovercraft and establish contact.” Gaia urged.

Zelinko parked the hovercraft behind a cliff, and they got dressed in thick winter gear. But, as they got closer to the human camp, Gaia had a foreboding feeling. What were the humans eating?

“Watch out!” Zelinko exclaimed and used telekinesis to redirect the arrow fired towards Gaia. Gaia threw herself to the ground, and she stared aghast at the flesh the humans were grilling. They had come across a tribe of cannibals.

“You intrude Grung Clan territory; you die.” A giant black man roared in a paleolithic language.

“We are not intruding. On the contrary, we are here to help.” Gaia replied in the same tongue.

“Your tasty meat; fill our bellies.” Chief Grung taunted, and the other men laughed maliciously.

Gaia sighed. True Maker meant for her to save humanity from the Mount Toba ice age. Yet, how would she save these brutish people from their well-deserved death? If she saved them and brought them back to the Garden of Eden, how would she be able to co-exist with such cannibalistic monsters?

Zelinko looked at Gaia and spoke, “What are you talking about. I don’t think we should bring cannibals to our garden. How can we live with such monsters in our midst?”

“I agree. However, there are a few children in the group. Saving those children is our best way of saving humankind as children are more malleable.” Gaia said.

“Do you have any suggestions?” Zelinko said.

“Yes, if you challenge their leader to a duel, we can save the children,” Gaia said.

Zelinko studied the angry primitive caveman who stood 20 metres away from him. The man wielded a large wooden club, swinging it like a mad man. It wouldn’t be difficult to shoot him with a pistol. Yet, gunning down their leader would be culturally inappropriate if they were to coexist with these creatures in the Garden of Eden.

Gaia turned to Chief Grung and spoke, “Our leader is challenging you to a duel. A duel is better than if we all fight it out.”

Hearing this, Chief Grung pulled down his fur pants and showed his genitalia to Zelinko. “Watch this, blue man. These big balls I have.”

Zelinko looked at Chief Grung in disgust. The Zetan culture was one of prudence and self-control. So why had he agreed to come here to save these barbaric cannibals?

“Tell him that I fight with my fists, not my genitalia,” Zelinko remarked.

Gaia forwarded Zelinko’s message to Chief Grung, and the gigantic man replied, “Then, enter our ring of death. I will feast on your flesh tonight! Grraahh!”

Zelinko entered the ring, and Grung swung after him with his bludgeon. Zelinko avoided Grung’s attacks with ease, using his premonitory powers and flexible body. Grung jumped clumsily at Zelinko’s feet, and Zelinko took a step to the side, causing the giant man to crash headfirst into the gravels and rocks.

Hitting the ground with speed caused Grung’s face to bleed and covered his body in ash from the sky. Zelinko pitied the miserable caveman. What would he have done if he lived on a planet with ashen rain and subzero temperatures, where a man’s physical strength was the only measure of importance?

*Pow*

Zelinko’s reflections ended abruptly when Grung’s haymaker punch broke his nose, which caused silver-blue blood to stream down his handsome face.

The colour of Zelinko’s blood scared the humans, and they started mumbling among themselves. “This man is no God. He bleeds, and he dies like the rest of us.” Grung exclaimed.

Zelinko shook off the pain. He had allowed his mind to wander, but he needed to end this fight. Zelinko blasted Grung with a psionic blast, which caused the giant man to stagger. After stunning Grung, Zelinko ran up to him, punched him in the face, and kicked him in the crotch.

As Grung collapsed to the ground, Zelinko grabbed his cranium and haemorrhaged his brain with his Zetan psionic power.

“The blue man did it. Honour us by feasting on his flesh.” The primitive humans chanted.

Zelinko turned to Gaia and spoke, “What are they saying. Have they turned less hostile?”

“In a way. They expect us to honour their fallen by feasting on his flesh.” Gaia replied.

“We can’t do this. We cannot eat humans to appease their sick rituals. What have you gotten us into?” Areela screamed.

“I am not doing this. These humans are not worth saving.” Zelinko stated.

“If you take their children, you can create a new generation of humans. You can form them in your image.” True Maker whispered.

“What about the adults?” Gaia asked.

“The adults are doomed either way. Starving and broken, they’ll succumb to cannibalism and the extreme cold.” True Maker replied.

Gaia shed a tear. She had come to save humanity, but as it would seem, the only way of doing so was by separating innocent children from their parents. Gaia nodded reluctantly and made a sweeping motion that knocked all the humans to the ground.

“Now, grab a child each!” Gaia exclaimed, took the closest child by her hand, and hurried back to the hovercraft. Zelinko and Areela followed suit, and shortly afterwards, they were on the way back to the Garden of Eden.