Chapter 4
“Just for a minute, maybe,” she murmured, her gaze dancing around the arena like she was looking for someone. Everyone not allowed to stay would be out of the building by now. Was she looking for a guy she’d come with?
I gritted my teeth, jealousy splitting through me at the thought.
Okay…that was weird.
I was not the jealous type.
Never had been.
But right now I was dying at the thought there could be someone else.
It didn’t matter if there was someone else. I would fix that.
Okay crazy…
“We could go somewhere quieter if you didn’t want to go to the party,” I said hesitantly.
Her beautiful eyes flashed with interest. “What did you have in mind?”
Back to my place was honestly all I had. I wasn’t exactly one of those cool people that knew all the quiet, sexy places in town where no one bothered you.
Taco trucks were more my jam if I was going to go out.
I lifted my hands in the universal “don’t freak out” motion, which probably only made everyone freak out more.
“We could go to my place.”
Her first instinct was to scoff, which was only a little bit offensive. So far my actions had screamed unhinged wackadoodle. With a big dick thrown in.
Scoffing was probably a correct way to respond.
She stared at me for a long moment, and it kind of felt like she was holding my destiny in her hands. A scary thing to think for sure.
“Okay, let’s do it,” she finally said, everything about her posture and her voice completely unsure and…scared.
“Let me just get out of my skates and change real quick,” I told her, grabbing her hand and leading her toward the locker rooms. All of my movements were slow, designed not to scare her off.
But what would I do if she did get jumpy…I couldn’t exactly grab her and never let go. I took a deep breath, telling myself to get my shit together.
Definitely not circle of trust behavior right now.
She seemed not to notice that I was freaking the fuck out though. Her gaze was curious as I led her down the tunnel and into the locker room. Thank fuck there wasn’t anyone in here. I don’t think I could take it if she saw any other dicks.
I needed to think ahead in the future. Probably wouldn’t do well to maim and torture my teammates because she got an eyeful of something I didn’t want her to.
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” I murmured, before my gaze fell on her Seattle jersey again.
Fuck. I wasn’t going to be able to handle that.
“What? Why are you staring at me like that?” she asked, smoothing her hair down self consciously.
“Okay, well, it’s not a big deal…actually, wait…sorry. It is a big fucking deal. Can you please put on my jersey? I can’t—I can’t deal with what you’ve got on.”
I want to kick myself for how that came out, but it’s honestly the nicest way I could say it. If she didn’t take that off…I wasn’t sure what I’d do.
I’m pretty sure she would go running for the hills if I tear it off with my teeth like I really want to.
“You realize we just met,” she answered with a slight, teasing smile that made my head spin.
“What can I say…I make friends fast.”
“Are you always so bossy with your friends?” Her tongue peeked out to lick at her lip and I wondered how such a simple movement could literally threaten to drive me insane.
“Mmh, that’s more of Linc’s thing, I guess. But he must have inspired me.” She huffed and crinkled her nose adorably, like she didn’t understand a thing I was saying.
I honestly didn’t understand a thing about myself at the moment either.
She gestured around the locker room. “Okay, friend…where’s the jersey I’m supposed to wear?”
I grinned at her and made a big show of taking off my jersey like I was going to make her wear mine.
She held up her hands. “Look, my cousin plays for Seattle. I absolutely know how stinky you guys are after games. There is no way that I’m putting that on.”
My smile only widened. “I dare you to smell it.”
“What are we…twelve? I am not smelling that.”
“Have you smelled me yet?”
“I mean—” Her mouth opened and closed.
I tossed the jersey at her, confident in myself since I’d done a smell check while getting redressed out on the ice. Then I headed for the showers for what was going to be the quickest shower of my life, all while convincing myself I didn’t need to drag her in with me so I could make sure she didn’t run.
The water pelted my skin, the coldest setting I could get, and I was still hard just knowing she was on the other side of the wall. Who knew that frozen balls could still make an erection?
Not me.
What the fuck was it going to be like once I was actually inside of her?
Ten seconds.
If I was lucky.
Lincoln and Ari would somehow find out. I’d never live it down.
Violet would never want anything to do with me.
The only answer was a little hand session. In the freezing cold water. While she was a few feet away.
Fuck, this felt pathetic.
But necessary.
Gripping my dick tightly, I slowly worked my hand up and down, hissing out my breath as the cold water hit my skin.
This was a handjob that would go down in infamy for me.
A moment I could pinpoint as the exact second I’d lost my mind.
But it was so easy to think of her…in my jersey, on her knees. Soaking wet as she stared up at me with those crazy, beautiful eyes…those pink, pouty lips.
Her tongue slipped out, the tip of it touching my dick…
“How the fuck does your jersey not smell?” Her voice cut through my daydream. And I was coming…unable to stop myself as ropes of cum hit the tiled wall in front of me.
“Holy fuck,” I whispered as I literally trembled from the force of my orgasm…and the freezing cold.
Ten seconds.
That’s how long it had taken.
Fucking embarrassing.
Maybe I could hope for twenty seconds for the real thing.
I turned off the water, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. I knew I’d just heard her voice, but I needed to see for myself she was there.
A few steps out and there she was…in my fucking jersey. It drowned her and she fidgeted with it self consciously as her golden gaze fucking devoured me.
“Umm…I’m wearing it,” she stammered, her gaze trapped on my chest. A bead of water slid down my skin and she tracked it all..the way…down.
“Wow,” she murmured.
“What was that?” I asked teasingly. “Did you just say ‘wow’?”
She stuck her tongue out at me, waving her hands around frantically. “I mean, it’s really not fair, that you get all of that…” she gestured to my face, “and all of that….” pointing to my chest, “and, all of freaking that!” Her gaze was definitely on my dick again.
“Don’t stare at my dick,” I yelped, putting my hands in front of it, because fuck…the towel was rising. What was this girl doing to me?
“Get dressed,” she groaned. “I’m dying.”
I pushed some of my wet hair out of my face, still covering my dick area with my other hand because Hercules was as OBSESSED with her as the rest of me was.
“Two minutes, don’t move,” I told her, striding to the other side where my locker and a clean pair of sweats were.
“There you go again…being bossy.”
‘Only for you,” I muttered.
I may have been a captain on the team, and a goalie…but “bossy” had never been a character trait I’d been accused of prior to meeting her.
After I pulled on my sweats, I took her hand, wondering how it could feel so right.
She stared down at our clasped hands for a beat, before finally glancing up at me…an awestruck vulnerability in her starry depths.
Say it. Tell me you feel it too.
But she didn’t.
I led her down the hallway and out the back doors to the team parking lot. We could hear shouting and celebrating from nearby, but we didn’t see anyone. Which I liked. I didn’t want to share her. I wanted her to myself. I wanted to bask in the light she was giving off. Take all that gorgeous perfection for myself.
Fucking hell. I was acting like Lincoln.
That thought kept me occupied all the way to the truck.
“I would say you’re overcompensating, but I know you’re not,” she suddenly said, bringing my attention away from my crazy…and back to her perfect face.
“Huh?”
“Your truck. It’s got a lot of Big Dick Energy,” she mused as I helped her into the cab.
I groaned and adjusted myself. “Don’t say ‘dick’ please,” I begged.
She just giggled, and I wanted to capture the sound. Play it back over and over again.
Violet’s face shuttered at the sound though, a blank mask taking over her smile. Like the sound of her laugh had offended her.
This girl was a mystery, a labyrinthine maze of secrets and hidden passages, with each layer waiting to be unraveled like the pages of a long-forgotten manuscript.
And I couldn’t wait to discover all of it.
I smiled gently at her and closed the door, taking my time walking around the front of the truck so she could have a second to collect herself.
If she was feeling even a little bit like I was, like she’d been flayed open and her insides were being overhauled with every second that passed…then she needed a minute. I didn’t expect her to embrace the insanity instantly like I was.
I’d help her get there.
Stepping up into the cab, my head started spinning as I caught her scent. In such close quarters, it was overwhelming. She smelled like wildflowers and summer rain…like Tennessee after a thunderstorm.
I stared at her for a second and she blushed, lifting an eyebrow in a “what are you staring at, weirdo” kind of way.
Start the truck, Walk. Start the fucking truck.
I dragged my gaze away and turned the key, the rumble of the exhaust surrounding us as we started towards my place. I couldn’t help but sneak glances at her every few seconds.
She didn’t seem to have the same problem as me though, her gaze was firmly out the window.
“So…” I said lamely. “It’s kind of dumb to ask you to tell me all about yourself…so let’s play a game.”
“A game,” she repeated slowly, finally giving me the attention I wanted.
I came up to a red light, and turned towards her. “Games are kind of my thing if you hadn’t realized.”
Her eyes flashed with amusement and I gave myself a mental high five.
Because I believed in rewarding myself for success.
And getting this girl to smile was the definition of success.
“Okay, what are the rules?” she asked.
Hoooonnnnk!
I cursed and waved sheepishly at the car behind us, even though L.A. drivers could care less about that kind of thing. Who knows how long the light had been green for.
“You have to tell me five truths about you. And one lie…”
“And then we guess?” she drawled.
I acted shocked. “No. We keep that lie to ourselves forever and ever.”
She giggled again…and once again touched her lips, like she couldn’t believe she’d allowed such a sound to escape.
“Okay, I’m in.”
“That’s my girl.” Her face flushed and she fidgeted in her seat.
“What’s making you blush?” I questioned, wanting to hear her say she’d liked being called “my girl.” I put my arm over her seat and dragged my fingers over her skin.
She shivered and shot me a look. “Is that one of my six things?”
My attention snagged on how fucking perfect her skin felt against my fingers and it took me a second to respond.
“No. I’ll get it out of you later,” I said, reluctantly staring back at the road. Death by car crash wasn’t going to do it for me. Death by pussy was the only way I wanted to go.
“Alright, do your six things.”
She scoffed. “This was your idea. I’m not going first.”
“Fiiiine,” I drawled as I made a left hand turn.
“I’m Tennessee born and bred, and I miss it every day. I’m hoping that I get signed by Dallas next year. I’m better at baseball than I am at hockey, but I love hockey more, so here I am. I hate scary movies and literally shriek whenever I’m forced to watch one. Diet Dr. Pepper is one of my main food groups…and…I don’t believe in love at first sight.” I gave her a challenging grin when I finished and she flushed again.
“You want to get signed with Dallas?” she said softly. “I’m actually a Texas girl. I’d love to go back.”
“Could have been a lie, angel face,” I told her with a wink and she smiled.
I hoped she could see through me. See everything I was trying to tell her.
“Alright, your turn,” I said. “And you’d better hurry because we’re almost to my place.”
“Are we not allowed to talk when we get there?”
I smirked as we pulled up to the underground garage of my complex and waited for it to open. “I personally don’t plan to do very much talking.”
She gaped at me and I gently tapped her chin to close her mouth. “You’ll need to be a little wider than that, sweetheart.”
Holy fuck, what was I saying right now? Abort. Abort. Keep your fucking mouth closed.
“Alrightttt,” she finally said in a deliciously breathy voice, obviously deciding to ignore my loss of all societal niceties. “I—I’m a huge Cowboys fan. I also consider Diet Dr. Pepper to be an essential food group. I’ve been to every major arena in the country. My favorite color is pink. I have nothing to offer anyone. And I don’t believe in happily ever afters,” her voice trailed off in a whisper at that last line, and I was stuck, soaking in the snippets she’d given me. Especially those last two…which one was the lie? Had to be the “nothing to offer”, right…hopefully. Because she had plenty to offer me. And I could change her mind about happily ever afters. It would become my mission in fact. Firmly above my previous number one goal of winning a Stanley Cup.
What a fucking night.
I pulled the truck into my spot and we sat there for a beat in silence.
The moment felt heavy, like we both knew we were on the precipice of something big, standing on the edge and waiting to dive off into the unknown.
I hopped out of the truck and raced around, like my life depended on her not opening the door for herself.
Fuck, I really was a fucking simp.
I caught the door just as she tried to open it, and then I helped her out of the vehicle.
The same silence followed us into the elevator, and up as the floors beeped by. I tapped my foot nervously. Had I cleaned up my clothes? Put my dishes in the sink? Had Cole done anything stupid while I was getting ready?
He was known for that.
I opened my mouth to warn her, but decided that would just be worse.
The doors slid open, revealing the giant living room that looked out onto the L.A. skyline.
“Wow, that’s quite a view,” she whispered, her gaze intent on the skyline showing from the floor to ceiling windows—the whole reason I rented this fucking place.
“I hate feeling caged in. I grew up on a farm with nothing but rolling hills for miles. This was the best I could do while staying close to the arena,” I explained as I watched her look out with an almost…devastated look on her face.
“Please stop. I—I don’t need to know any of those things about you. Whatever this is. It’s just for tonight,” she finally snapped in a hard voice far different than how she’d been sounding. Violet wouldn’t look at me, her gaze was glued ahead of her. “You don’t need to know me. I don’t need to know you. I—my life is complicated. I just want…tonight.”
My chest tightened as Olivia’s words sank in.
Just one night?
It was as if the ground had been ripped out from beneath my feet, leaving me stumbling.
I’d never been more sure of anything in my life than I was in our connection.
How could she give up on us so easily, before we’d even had a chance to truly begin? Didn’t she feel this—this thing between us?
It was a once in a lifetime kind of feeling…anyone would realize that.
I took a deep breath, fighting against the surge of frustration in my gut. Why was she making this seem like nothing?
This was real, raw, and unyielding, a force of nature that defied logic and reason.
This was everything.
What usually would be a hockey dick’s favorite thing to hear was actually the second most fucking awful thing I’d ever heard in my life.
I didn’t think about what was number one on that list. Because unlike what she’d just said, there was nothing I could do to change that.
I gently turned her chin so she had no choice but to look at me.
“If tonight’s all I get, then I’d better make it good,” I whispered, memorizing the way she nuzzled into my hand like she couldn’t help herself. She could say whatever she wanted, but she was affected by me. Her body was telling me what her heart didn’t want to.
Grabbing her hand, I led her to my bedroom. I had planned for champagne or wine…maybe some pre sex snacks because I always performed best when I wasn’t starving.
But that didn’t fit the vibe she was giving me.
So straight to sex it was.
Hercules, don’t fail me now.
“Condom,” she murmured, glancing around my bedroom once I’d led her inside. She was pulling on the jersey, obviously uncomfortable, everything about her saying that she could choose to bolt any minute.
“They’re in the bathroom…I’ll be right back,” I told her, leaving out the “please don’t leave,” I wanted to throw in there.
I all but ran into the bathroom, glancing back over my shoulder to make sure she hadn’t made a mad dash for the exit.
Sliding open the drawer where I kept them, I grabbed a condom package.
And then I stared at it.
There was a strange ringing in my ears all of a sudden…and my heart was pounding in my chest. The bathroom’s light seemed to intensify whatever…insanity I was feeling.
What if…
Something took hold of me, the addiction that had been building inside me all night, unfurled, stretching its wings and transforming into…desperation.
Uncontrollable desperation.
She wanted to pretend this was a one night thing, but I knew better. And I knew she knew it on some instinctual level too. She wanted to run, because she was scared.
I couldn’t let her run.
So this uncontrollable desperation inside me…turned into something else.
There was one way I could keep her.
Trap her so to speak…
I was having an out of body experience.
That was the only way to describe what was happening as I reached back into the drawer, and pulled out the sewing kit I kept in there. I pulled out one of the needles, watching as it glinted ominously under the unforgiving light.
No turning back now.
Carefully, almost mechanically, I began to puncture the condom package with the needle. One hole, then two, and soon a pattern of tiny punctures formed.
The voice of reason in my head screamed at me to stop, but the obsession, the overwhelming need to possess her, drowned out those voices.
I continued to poke holes, my heart pounding louder in my chest. Each puncture felt like a step further down a path I’d never envisioned…one I was never going to come back from.
Finally, I was done.
The condom package was riddled with holes that she wouldn’t notice, and I felt a strange mixture of triumph and guilt. My fingers trembled as I closed the sewing kit and tucked it back in the drawer.
Obviously it was still a million in one chance she’d get pregnant.
But if we were meant to be, which I knew we were…wouldn’t it be my lucky day.
With every step back to the bedroom, I felt more sure, like I was shedding the weight of trying to be the good guy all the time.
I’d be that good guy eventually. I’d make all her dreams—whatever they were—come true.
But in order to have the chance to be the good guy…I was going to have to be the villain first.