Chapter Chapter One
I’m sure I had been there for an hour. It had to have been an hour. When I lifted my head out of my hands, my computer had gone on standby, and that’s how long I had my standby option set for. It was the slight static sound that knocked me out of my daze.
It was just a small office with a few cubicles. Mine happened to be near the center, right under the speaker. Now, it’s not that I don’t like Metallica. I do. I’ve always been a bit of a metalhead. But Metallica was a band you don’t listen to when you have a headache. And my head was throbbing. It was my head-in-hands daze that was tuning out the music. Strange how a computer noise overcame it, but that’s what it did.
I tapped a few keys on the keyboard and my computer woke up. I was supposed to be working on my piece for the daily newspaper. Usually, I’m the first one done. But the past few weeks I have been so frustrated, my co-workers have had to take up the slack. Good thing there are several of us.
One song ended, and another began. Someone has a Metallica CD on. Nice! My head will be throbbing all day. Maybe I could at least get them to turn the volume down?
I stared at the blinking cursor on the screen. The only thing that was written was the title. “Think About It, by Chloe Garner.” But it looked like today’s “Think About It” will have someone else’s name underneath, as it has had for many times lately. I flopped my head back in my hands and leaned my elbows on the desk. “I gotta get outta here,” I mumbled aloud.
“Yes, I agree,” my boss, Rochelle Craig, said as she sat on my desk. “You do need to get outta here.”
Now I felt even worse. “I’m sorry, Rochelle. I just can’t concentrate.”
“No need to apologize. You should have taken some time off.” Rochelle, who was also a good friend of mine, and the reason I got this job, placed her hand on my shoulder, “You do know he’s not worth thinking about”?
I could feel the tears welling up. “We were married for five years. How can I not think of him?”
Rochelle leaned closer as she squeezed my shoulder, “He’s a liar and a cheat. You are far better off without him.” She smiled one of her “everything will be okay” smiles and slipped off the desk. “Mark is not worth this. You can find way better.”
The waterworks were starting. I could feel the burning in my eyes. “I just don’t know what I did wrong.” And I really didn’t. I did everything for him. When he needed me, I was there. He even used to tell me I was his “Carmen Electra.” And, not that I’m being snooty or vain, but if I were a guy, who had a wife who did everything for him and looked like her, I would not cheat! Tears rolled. “Am I that terrible?”
“No, you’re not. He is the terrible one.” Rochelle smiled again. Her green eyes sparkling. “Chloe, you are a wonderful, beautiful woman. You have a figure most women would kill for. Brilliant blue eyes, and long, wavy, auburn hair.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” I said, reaching for a tissue and patting my cheeks.
“I’m just trying to remind you of all the good qualities you have.”
I forced a smile. “Would it be alright if I went home a little early? I could try and work on the piece there.”
“Don’t worry about that piece. We have enough writers here to cover you for a bit longer.” Rochelle flicked her blonde ponytail off her shoulder and stared at me for a few seconds. I was starting to get a little freaked out. She broke the silence, “You know, you have some vacation time saved up. Why don’t you go somewhere nice for a week? Clear your head.”
“Should I”?
“As your friend, I’m asking you to take a bit of time off and pamper yourself. A divorce is not easy. Been there, done that. And, as your boss, I’m ordering you to take some time off. Come back refreshed. No one will touch your desk. Promise.” Rochelle made the “cross my heart sign” nearly yanking a button off of her yellow blouse.
I got off my chair and gave her a big hug, “You’re the best!” A vacation sounds nice. I did have some money saved up over the past few years. Why not?
“Hey! I’ve got an idea. I have some brochures of travel destinations in my office. I’ll be right back.” She nearly tripped over her long black skirt as she ran to her office.
Yes, she ran. She was tall. Long, straight blonde hair. Very slim. Almost no shape. She looked kind of comical running. Long strides over a very short distance. I couldn’t help chuckling to myself. I bit my bottom lip as she returned, walking this time, with a handful of colored papers.
“Browse through these. You might see something you like,” she said, handing me the brochures.
I hugged her again as I said “thanks,” and left. A vacation away from here, and all the memories. Maybe if I could enjoy even just a week, without thinking of Mark, it may be a step towards putting this past behind me.
I can honestly say, that I don’t know what I would have done without Rochelle. She was so strong. But I guess when you have a lot of siblings, you have to be strong to tolerate all the sibling rivalry. Unlike myself, an only child, Rochelle had five sisters and three brothers. A home with nine children. I can’t even imagine having one!
I flicked through the brochures during the bus ride home. I like taking public transportation. It saves on gas big time. And, since I had been keeping my car parked most of the time, I’d been able to save up the money for this vacation. I did get a nice settlement from the divorce too. And, being able to find a nice, cheap, little apartment, helped big time. Just a one-room, bachelor apartment. Enough for one person. Me. Plenty of room. And it was on the top floor. Bonus! Nice view of the harbor.
It was strange at first, living by myself. I had always lived with my parents. Even when I was old enough to move out, I just could not afford my own place. We lived in Ontario until I was 23, then moved here to Newfoundland. And here, I met Mark Garner. We both worked in the same department store. Of course, then I moved in with him, even before we married. So now, here I was, on my own. Scary and nice, all at the same time. I started to flip through the brochures again, to realign my train of thought. Damn, Mark for sneaking into my head. His memory was like a fly on molasses.
The Stonehenge tours brochure was the only one that really caught my eye. As soon as I got home and hung up my purse and jacket, I flipped open my laptop. I’ve always loved Stonehenge. The mystery about it. Always wanted to see it up close. As the web page loaded “beyond the fences” caught my attention. A tour that lets you go up and touch the stones! Now, that was the one for me! I quickly printed out the information, along with some possible hotel accommodations and folded them into my purse. Tomorrow morning I was going to drop into the travel agency and see what I can get. I probably could have done all my booking online, but I was a little too paranoid.
After a nice hot bubble bath, a bag of popcorn, and two TV movies, I went to bed. Of course, bedtime was the worse time. Time to think. And, I hated thinking. I tried to concentrate solely on Stonehenge. I was planning on enjoying that trip. Planning on getting that creep out of my mind. But, of course, thinking about getting him out of my mind was still thinking about something that involved him. I slipped a sleeping pill into my mouth and took a sip of water.
Since this all started, I have not been able to have a peaceful sleep without my meds. I hated dreaming, and these sleeping pills seemed to stop them. I don’t know how, but as long as I took them, I woke up the next morning without any knowledge of dreaming. I wiped a tear from the corner of my eyes and snuggled into my pillow. “I’ll get you out of my head, Mark,” I whispered into the darkness. “I hope you and your new slut have a good time cheating on each other.”
I woke up the next morning with a dry mouth. Must have had it open all night. I hated when I did that. It was eight twenty-three on my clock. I stretched, then got up. It might have been summer, but the floor felt as cold as it did in the winter. Probably the people in the apartment below me didn’t believe in turning the heat on! But, not many have the heat in during summer. I stepped quickly over towards the bathroom door, where I had left my slippers the night before. It was a sunny, cloudless, Tuesday morning. I had some orange juice and toast before dressing and heading out for my morning walk. I walked every morning. I tried to anyway. When I worked, I walked around seven-thirty, but today I was off. On vacation. After my walk I headed back to my apartment only long enough to get my purse, then I was at the bus stop, heading to the travel agency.
The travel agency was just a little outlet in a strip mall. It wasn’t very busy today, so I got in right away. The agent who greeted me was a short, stocky man, with hardly any hair. He didn’t look very old though. I just smiled as I sat down and fished out the papers I had printed out. I told him I wanted to get the cheapest fare possible, but as soon as possible. I chuckled to myself, thinking how doubtful it would be to get both cheap and quick.
After a few minutes typing something into his computer his round face lit up with a smile, “I think I may have what you are looking for.”
Wow! “Really?” I was skeptical. But it turned out to be perfect. Almost too perfect. I could catch a flight tomorrow night with only one connecting flight. Apparently, someone had canceled at the last minute. How perfect was that? Almost too good to be true, but I didn’t argue. I signed a few papers, presented my VISA for payment, thanked the agent as I collected my goodies, and headed out to catch my bus back home. I had some packing to do!
It only took me a couple of hours to pack. Yeah, I know, a couple of hours sounds like a long time just to pack a suitcase or two, but I had a bad habit of packing, then unpacking, and packing again. I had a week's worth of clothes and underwear in my big suitcase. Oddities in my smaller ones. You know the stuff. Hair supplies, makeup, feminine supplies, and all that good stuff. I also had a small carry-on bag with my travel toothbrush, a small comb for hair emergencies, and my meds. I kept one sleeping pill on my night table for tonight.
I went for a nice long walk. The sun was warm on my skin, even through the cool breeze. I made it back home just before dark, not that I minded walking in the dark. I exchanged my sweats for my pj’s and poured up a cup of hot tea. There was another good movie coming on TV, so I watched that before heading to bed. I hardly ever watched an actual TV show, although, I did enjoy some crime drama’s from time to time. If it wasn’t a movie, I didn’t gain much of an interest. I didn’t like watching the news at all. It was mostly depressing stuff, and I could do without that.
The next day I showered, shaved my legs, and double-checked my luggage three times before I dressed. It seemed a little cooler today, so I slipped into a pair of jeans and chose a nice, long sleeve blouse. It was white with some embroidered patterns on it. I didn’t normally wear white, as I tend to stain things, but I decided I wasn’t doing much today anyway. I booked a cab to take me to the airport. There was still quite a few hours before my plane left, but I wanted to be there extra early.
I had lunch at the airport. Just a salad. I was paranoid about spilling the dressing over myself so I opted not to use any. Needless to say, my salad was tasteless.
I took a bottle of water with me to the waiting area and sat down. Still a long wait yet. Good time to read a bit. I did manage to remember to bring my book with me in the carry-on bag. Nothing like a good mystery to pass the time.
Ah, the dreaded boarding call! I say “dreaded” because I had never been on a plane before. The trip from Ontario was by car! The security guards looked scary. Club bouncer material for sure. After the security check and the walk to the plane, I started to panic even more.
I was on the plane now, being directed to my seat. I had a window seat. A young girl, probably in her late teens sat next to me. She never spoke, just smiled and popped some headphone buds in her ears. So much for passing the time with conversation.
I’m sure I held my breath as the plane started to move. It was getting dark out now. I wasn’t going to see much during the trip, but seeing the lights of the city as the plane got higher was a very breathtaking sight.
I read for most of the flight, except for the two times I had to use the toilet. You know those butterflies you get in your stomach when you’re nervous? Well, I had a stampede of buffalo! I must have been white in the face because every now and then a flight attendant would come over and ask me how I was doing. My complexion is not overly dark anyway, so I must have been extra pale. I read for a bit again, during the stopover, and again for the remaining flight. I figured by the time I got to London, England, I’d have to buy another book.