the ordeal of being known

Jess

Jess left for camp a couple of days after the kiss. He left a couple of letters with Amir’s wife, Noor. She had smiled, a sort of knowing smile. Noor happened to be his mother’s best friend. Her truest friend, as Anne didn’t grow up surrounded with honest or loyal people.

He’d decided that he wanted the first letter to be a little dramatic, only a little, just to make her smile. He could see it in his mind’s eye, the very specific fond smile with an eye roll, so he wrote…

Day 1: agony.

My dear Layla,

It has been a thousand years since the last time I laid eyes on you. My teammates are horrifyingly ugly in comparison to your fairness (please don’t tell anyone I’ve said this, my best friend is the captain and I will be seen as a traitor) please write to me as soon as you can to ease this torture. 

Most ardently,
Jess

He couldn’t help his thoughts wandering to that kiss. He couldn’t help but wonder at Layla giving him permission to touch her.

She had kissed in a way that made him wonder and ache; it made him think, in the middle of smiling into her soft lips, that he could never go back, that this itching feeling in his chest was right and that their particles will only ever belong in close proximity to each other. He had looked into her eyes and he knew it; it confirmed everything he’d been aching for and dreading.

Layla. Layla was the true north of his heart’s compass. A feeling like this only existed in his thoughts. It was never something that was within reach.

He felt bruised over a kiss that they should have never shared; he was stuck with one of his most vulnerable moments repeating in his head, but vulnerability has never looked so wynorrific.

“It’s so good to be back,” Mateo mumbled quietly by his side. “Right?” he nudged.

Jess always loved training camps, even though they made him a little nervous. The pressure set in when camp started. It was a time when people started to watch them so that they could start setting their expectation. They should have the highest expectations for a team like ours, Jess thought.

Jess heard from staff members and his coach that the team chemistry became a lot better once Kione became captain. Kione was one of the youngest captains. When Jess made the team coach hold a vote, the players voted his best friend as captain. It was the right decision. Kione’s dad was a living Lakers legend. He had also been captain, so it felt like the title belonged to him.

He was just the right man for the job because he knew how to bring out the best in people, the same way his dad did. He was also somewhat of a mastermind. He watched and schemed to get everyone going in the right direction.

“My mother is a therapist. I can’t help if I can analyze human behavior in the most correct way. I can’t help it if I know better than most.” Those were his usual words whenever someone mentioned his scheming.

The Camp usually took place in the team’s practice facility. It boasted state-of-the-art training facilities, including top-notch courts, weight rooms, and recovery areas. It held a significant role in preparing the team for the upcoming NBA season. It was an important period where players, coaches, and staff come together to lay the groundwork for a successful season.

It was intense. The players had a detailed schedule created for them, outlining the various activities, practice sessions, and team-building exercises. The planning included rest days, meal arrangements, and transportation logistics. They basically took care of everything just to make sure that the player could focus on the game and the team.

The only things the players had to worry about was honing their skills, refining their techniques, and building a cohesive team that operates seamlessly on the court.

There was also a faint worry about the media as the camp generated significant media coverage from various outlets, including local and national newspapers, sports websites, television networks, and social media platforms.

Journalists and reporters closely follow the camp, interviews with players, providing daily updates, insights, and analysis on the team’s progress, player performances, and strategic developments. There were also open practice sessions and fan meet and greets.

Jess hated and loved that part. He hated feeling so scrutinized, but he loved how families who supported the team and its legacy for years, whose families supported the team even before that showed up. It was a special kind of bond.

He managed to stay focused, to do exactly whatever is needed of him. It wasn’t so hard with Kione around; it was not so hard because basketball had always been something like a reflex to Jess, courtesy of being taught by the best at such a young age.

At the end of the day, it felt like a reward when he opened a letter or got a text. Sometimes, they face timed, and she showed him her work. He had wanted to ask more than once why she seemed to paint everyone they knew, but not one painting was of him.

Jess to the audience: It sounds stupid, but it feels like a part of her that they’re all getting and I’m being isolated from.

He didn’t say anything, but he was so hungry to know more about her so he started telling her more things about himself in the hope that she’d do the same. For the most part she did. There was only one topic she has avoided like the plague.

Her parents.

One night when they were talking, the conversation led to talking about family and she asked if his mom liked the painting; he recalled the happy tears she got when she saw it.

“My parents, they’re the coolest people I know. They’re so in love with each other. I used to watch them all the time. I used to think I’ll never have something like that because we can’t all be that lucky. They really fought for each other, you know? And they’re just so warm. They say they’re boring now all the time, not in a mean way, but they were so adventurous when they were younger, so they just love being the boring couple who kiss all the time. I don’t see it that way. I think they’re peaceful and safe and I love it.”

“Did you want siblings?”

“I had Kio.”

“How did you guys meet?”

A pause, then, “You have to promise not to laugh.”

“I’ll do whatever I want.”

“Okay, so, he just came out of nowhere at school and he tried to punch me, so I defended myself. We were wrestling when another boy came and asked what was going on and I said that I had no idea, then Kione, who looked really sheepish, said…

“‘I thought you were another blond guy who made a really mean comment to my lunch friend, Lizzy.’ He pointed at his friend and I remember she looked really sad and on the verge of crying. ‘But then when you turned I realized it wasn’t you, but you were panicking and hitting me back, so I just kept going. Nice reflex, by the way.’

“I ended up helping him find the boy who bothered her, and we were mean to him, but in a chivalrous way. He later found me and said I’m tall enough to consider basketball and that he had chosen me to be honored and to train alongside him. I was at his house the next day. I was ten. We’ve been glued at the hip since then.”

Layla had been chuckling quietly this whole time. “This actually makes a lot of sense.”

Jess to the audience: We get that a lot.

“What about your sister? Are you close?”

“Yes,” she said fondly. “She was my only sense of comfort.”

“How come?”

“I wasn’t a happy kid I guess, but Samira has that effect where she knows how to make your day better, how to calm people. She’s so good at school. She’s my source of pride.”

⸻

“So, did you like our kiss?”

“It was alright.”

“Alright? Excuse me, but I literally had to restrain your hips from grinding on me. It was a little better than alright.”

Layla and Jess talked every day until camp ended but, they never talked about their kiss which was a source of great frustration for Jess.

Camp ended in late September, and October came in a quick blur. Kione had had it with Jess’s attitude, so he decided to give the lovebirds a push in the right direction.

Unfortunately, he didn’t cross paths with Layla except on the day of the Lakers’ first game.