The Many Faces of Tully

Jace and I joke all the way home while I suck on my Popsicle and he eats his Twix. I let him drive again. All of this makes me think of being with Peter. I normally did the shopping alone but we did go on car rides together, and this felt like that. Except for the fact that I’m not holding Jace’s hand like I would be holding Peter’s.

I keep smiling at the fact that I can think his name. This was a turning point. Today made me fall faster for Jace, and helped me cope with Peter. Today was a good day. Today was a great day. If I could live today over and over again, I would. There were no negativities today. I made progress today, and progress was a great thing. I love today.

That is until I fall asleep.

I’m dreaming almost as soon as I fall asleep. It isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare. The worst nightmare I’ve ever had. I realize now that thinking about Peter so much today was not a good thing. It was a bad thing. A very bad thing.

I relive every time I killed someone. First it was Jack, in my old bedroom. Then it was Carl, while he yells at me. Then I’m stuttering, trying to tell Peter that I love him. The runner up is pulling my hair and I kill her and the eight other girls in a second. Then I’m morphing into a snake and sinking my fangs into Mark’s wife. I change into a panther and I’m killing the two high school students. Every single time I exploded or morphed and killed someone, I went through again in this nightmare, in perfect detail.

After I killed the last guy as a panther my vision goes black for a second. Then bright lights click on. I’m in a concrete room. It looks like a room in those movies where the bad guys interrogate someone. My arms are shackled to opposite sides of the room, so they’re spread out. My feet are chained to the ground. I can’t move.

I look up from my feet and I gasp. Peter is there. He is still perfect. His blonde, curly hair hangs in his eyes and I want to reach forward and brush it aside, like I always did. But I can’t move my arms. His thin lips are turned down into a frown and his hazel eyes are cutting into mine. His arms are crossed over his chest and I can feel hatred just rolling off of him.

Then I notice everyone at his sides, and by everyone, I mean everyone that I’ve murdered. They’re all glaring at me too. Their angry stares make my veins feel like they’re filled with ice. My stomach knots painfully in fear and my eyes flick between all of theirs. I do not like the way they are looking at me.

I tug on my chains. They just shake ominously. Chains won’t hold me if I explode, but I don’t feel like I’m going to. I’m too terrified. I look at Peter again. His nose wrinkles as if he’s looking at something disgusting. As if I disgust him. I probably do.

“Get her.” His voice is clear and echoes in this room.

They charge. I’m surrounded by them in a second. Jack and Carl take turns hitting me across my face. Mark’s wife and the two high school kids start gnawing on my arms and legs. All of the beauty contestants start wailing on my ribs, kidneys, and gut. Some are pulling my hair, some are scratching at my throat and collar bone.

I’m screaming. I keep struggling against my restraints even though I know I can’t break them. My face stings. My torso is throbbing. Any exposed flesh is bleeding. My head hurts. Tears are streaming down my face, but they don’t stop hurting me.

I look at Peter. He has a satisfied smile on his lips. That hurts worse than everything else.

“Peter!” I scream at him. “Peter help me! Help!”

He chuckles darkly. “No. You didn’t help any of us. You killed us. Now it’s your turn.”

“Please!” I beg him. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He just shakes his head.

The pain is too much. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs. My throat burns but I can’t do anything else but scream. I can’t fight. I can’t run. I can’t say sorry enough. A part of me thinks I deserve this, but every other part of me is screaming.

Even in all of my pain, all I want to do is reach forward and brush Peter’s hair out of his eyes.

I notice my wrists are burning. I look at them and I see Mark’s wife has gnawed off my ouroboros snakes. My bicep is burning too and one of the high school kids has chewed off my panther tattoo.

Then I feel my thumb snap as the other kid snatches off his class ring. The runner up grabs her belly button ring and rips it from my stomach. Jack tears off his shark tooth necklace from my neck and Carl yanks out his diamond earring from my ear.

I watch, broken, bleeding, bruised, and throbbing, as Peter walks forward and unclasps his watch from my wrist. He slides it off and slips it onto his hand and leaves it around his knuckles. He leans in close to me. His voice is still beautiful to me, even when it’s filled with hatred.

“You took us from this world,” he says to me. “We are taking ourselves from you. You don’t deserve to wear us on you. You disgust me.”

I sob.

He steps back from me then and cocks back his arm. His fist, with the watch still around his knuckles, collides with my face.