chapter 20
COMMENT
Chapter 20
“What do you mean by cursed?” I asked incredulously. “Jaxon, this isn’t funny anymore. Are you trying to blame. all your actions on being cursed? That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard in my life.”
“I just need you to listen,” he pleaded. “When I’m done, you can do whatever you want. I just need to explain.”
I scoffed and stared at him waiting for the punch line of the joke but it never came. I couldn’t believe what he was saying and a part of me wanted to turn on my heels and storm out but the other more curious part couldn’t *and I ended up crossing my arms over my chest. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words but he knew and he
understood because he sighed in relief.
“Unlike wolves, we lycans don’t wait until the ruler dies before their child takes over. Lycans live for up to hundreds of years and they stop ruling the moment they’re tired of it,” he began slowly. “My grandfather never wanted to rule for long. The moment my dad was of age, he instantly stepped down. My father was a very cruel ruler. He was selfish and cared about just himself. He was a good father but he was a terrible ruler.”
He paused and smiled wryly as if he was remembering something terrible. I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to interrupt his thought process so I stayed quiet.
“I believe my father was poisoned by someone on his court because it is unusual for a lycan to die as young as two hundred years. During the latter years of his life, he was somehow crueler and one night, there was a witch who came into our land seeking shelter. Witches are mostly lonely creatures and it is rare for them to leave their covens. I was around twenty at the time.”
“She came and asked for some food. My father was rude and he sent her away without another thought. Out of anger, she decided to curse me because she knew he was too selfish to care about anything she did to him. She put a blocking behind my lycan form.”
He was flipping the pages as he spoke and I walked closer and peeked into the book. There was everything he had said and I cocked my head to the side as I read through. The story of the witch cursing him was there and it was exactly what he had said. He was cursed as a repercussion for his father’s actions.
“That is why I didn’t know we were mates because I do not have my lycan form,” he began. “On full moons, it gets worse and I barely remember what happens during those times.”
I couldn’t help but remember the last full moon we spent together in his office and the way he acted towards me. Somehow it just seemed to make sense but I couldn’t believe what I had just heard and for me, it didn’t excuse the things he had done.
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Chapter 20
“How did you realize that we were mates?” I asked and he hesitated before speaking.
“Aiden told me.”
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“So you believed Aiden and not me,” I decided and he opened his m*uth to speak but I held out a hand to stop me. “Even if you were cursed, it does not excuse the things you have done. You have been a terrible person to me in the last few days and there was no full moon to blame it on.”
“I know that but I had never believed I would find a mate,” he began. “I couldn’t feel it and I didn’t know how to react. I know what I did was wrong and I am sorry. There is no excuse that I can give to you but I know it now.”
He reached out to me but I took a step back. I saw his face fall and I let out a sigh. I felt bad because I knew how he felt but I couldn’t bring myself to change my decision because I wasn’t going to put myself in a position where he would be able to disrespect me. I had done that too many times to repeat the same pattern.
“You have to prove that you’re going to treat me like a person, Jaxon,” I said softly. “I’m not going to simply open my arms and receive you because that is what you want. That was what I wanted but you weren’t willing to give it to me.”
“I didn’t know we were mates.”
“I’m sorry that you didn’t know but it doesn’t change anything. I cannot trust you especially not after the things you said the last time we spoke. You give me whiplash with how quickly your emotions change and I’m not ready to risk all of this for you to change on me within a split second.”
“That is not going to happen.”
H
“You’re going to have to prove it to me.”
I cast one last look at the open book and I ran my finger over it softly before quickly bringing my hand back to my side. I gave him a small smile and before he could say anything to change my mind or my decisions, I turned on my heels and I walked out of the room.
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want him to follow me. just wanted to be alone and think of everything he had just told me. It felt impossible to wrap my head around but I knew that he was telling the truth. My wolf believed him and by extension, so did I.
I knew he wasn’t lying about being cursed and not knowing we were mates. I remembered what Aiden had said
to me and it just solidified my belief but for some reason, I couldn’t just excuse everything he had done to me so far. I couldn’t excuse the disrespect and his actions so I kept walking and I kept my feet moving.
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Chapter 20
I didn’t know where I was going to until I ended up in front of Kiara’s room. I wanted her warmth and the familiarity of my daughter’s presence. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself as I thought about how co dependent I was on my own daughter but she was the only familiar person in the entire castle. She was the only one who l knew well and therefore, she was my comfort place.
Nadia was in the room and they were playing with dolls but all she took was one look at me and she stood to her feet. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to leave but I couldn’t bring myself to utter those words. The truth was that I wanted her to leave so all I did was offer her a warm smile to which she squeezed my shoulders softly before disappearing.
“Are you okay mummy?” Kiara asked and I hummed in response.
I took a seat on her bed and tapped the spot next to me. She wasted no time in dropping her dolls and running over. Instead of settling beside me like I asked, she threw herself completely into my lap so she was lying down on me and I closed my eyes so I could savor the moment.
I kissed her forehead and breathed in her scent wondering how long I would have to do it. The longest a werewolf lives is two hundred years and that is very rare. From what Jaxon had said, she most likely would live longer than me.. Jaxon as well was most likely going to live longer than me. I was going to dlewhile my daughter continued to live a long and fulfilled life. I couldn’t bring myself to be upset at the fact but it was sad to know that I probably wouldn’t see her have children or anything.
“Mummy,” she whispered and her voice came out muffled because her face was buried into my chest. “I love you.”
“I love you too Kiara,” emotions threatened to choke me and I had to blink back the tears that were gathering in.. my eyes. “You are the most important thing to me.”
“More important than daddy?” she asked and I paused.
“Of course,” I turned to her. “Why would you even ask that?”
She just shrugged and didn’t say anything else. I wanted to push but I also didn’t want to make her uncomfortable and shrink away from me so I settled for pulling her impossibly closer and wrapping my arms. around her astightly as possible. If I couldn’t tell her how much she meant to me then I was going to show her as best as possible.
“Do you want me to spend the night in here with you?” I asked and she practically leaped off my body with an
eager nod.
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“Can we play and stay up all night like we used to?” she asked and I couldn’t hold back my laugh as I nodded.
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