The Love Wager

“Hi, um, I’m supposed to meet someone—”

“Hallie?” Stephen appeared beside the hostess, smiling and setting a hand on the hostess’s arm in a way that told her he was who Hallie was looking for.

“Hey, Stephen.” Wow. He looked nice; like, really, really nice. For starters, he was wearing khaki pants and a black cashmere sweater. His brown hair was thick and styled in that sweet spot that hit on well-coiffed without being high-maintenance, and he was wearing glasses that made him look like he needed a book in his hand.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” he said, giving Hallie just the kindest grin.

“You, too,” she replied, unable to hold in her smitten smile.

He pointed to where their table was, and she followed him over. She almost tripped when she saw Jack, seated at the table right beside them. His eyes caught hers and widened just the tiniest amount, showing he was just as surprised as she was that they were sitting in such close proximity.

She recovered and took a seat, reminding herself to focus on Stephen.

“I used to eat here all the time, back when I was in college,” he said, reaching out for his menu. “I’m so glad you suggested it.”

“Me, too,” she said, grabbing her menu and quickly muttering, “Not the dental school part, but the other. It’s my first time here.”

He gave a little laugh. “Noted.”

“So what’s good, then?” she asked, eyeballing the appetizers. “What was your favorite dish?”

“The lamb with mushroom risotto,” he said, and Hallie realized that his college experience had been vastly different from her own Top Ramen version. “You have to try it.”

Shit. Hallie was a picky eater. Picky as in most third graders had a broader palate than her own. She liked burgers and chicken strips and the occasional spaghetti, but lamb? With mushrooms in the risotto? No, no thank you. But since she’d asked his opinion, she kind of had to take his suggestion, right?

“I was kind of feeling like a burger, but maybe now . . .” She trailed off, hoping it would prompt him to say, Get whatever sounds good.

“Get the lamb.” He smiled, snatched her menu out of her hand, and said, “You won’t regret it. I ordered you a glass of chardonnay, by the way.”

“Okay.” Hallie reached for her glass. “Thank you. And I’m trusting you on the lamb.”

“Good girl.” He cleared his throat, picked up his wineglass, and said, “So how was work today? Did you make it through the marathon meeting?”

She’d told him about the quarterly business meetings that had been going on since Monday, and she was impressed he’d remembered. “I made it. It’s amazing how challenging it is to look interested in very boring information.”

“I bet.”

She said, “I’m sure you have to listen to lots of rambling from your patients.”

“Yeah, but I can stick my hands in their mouth and make it stop,” he quipped, which made her laugh.

She glanced at Jack’s table, where he and his date appeared to be deep in conversation. She was very pretty and wearing the cutest red dress, so unless she was a total bore, Jack was off to a great start.

She looked back at Stephen, the dentist, and felt pretty good about her start, as well.

They started talking about his job, and he was super interesting and funny as he told her dental horror stories. She interjected with her own stories, and she was surprisingly relaxed and comfortable.

She was actually having a good time on her date.

The food came, and she didn’t want to eat lamb or risotto. But she started with the meat, which was tolerable if she didn’t picture fluffy little baby lambs, and she pushed around the risotto so it looked like she’d eaten some.

While saying a lot of Mmmm, this is so good.

“So we should probably cover relationships, right? Isn’t that a first-date thing?”

That made Hallie set down her fork and take a big ol’ gulp of her chardonnay before saying, “Um, sure . . . ?”

“I just want to put it out there that I’m divorced.”

“Oh.” Hallie didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t have a problem with someone being divorced, but she also didn’t want to squeal something inane like I love divorce. The way she saw it, divorce was no different from her breakup except for the fact that he’d had a party with formal wear and she hadn’t.

“We got married young, I guess, and didn’t realize until it was too late that we didn’t have much in common.”

Hallie gave a nod and said, “It happens.”

“The worst part was telling the twins.”

“Ohmigosh.” Hallie set down her glass and cleared her throat. “I didn’t know you had twins. How old are they?”

“Four years old,” he said, his smile returning as he talked about the kids he clearly adored. “They’re really incredible.”

“That’s such a fun age,” she said, her mind a little blown that he hadn’t included that on his profile. She’d never considered the possibility that she might find someone on the dating app who had children. She could potentially become a stepmom? God, she didn’t even want to go there.

“It is. They’ve finally stopped putting everything in their mouths and falling asleep on top of me.”

That made Hallie a little gooey inside, picturing this handsome man with sleeping munchkins draped all over him. He really was a hormonal destroyer, wasn’t he?

“Wow, how do you tell someone so young about divorce?” she asked. Her own parents just lived by the you-irritate-me-but-till-death-do-us-part motto.

“My ex and I were super emotional when we sat them down,” he said, getting choked up, “but we were just honest. We said, ‘Listen, when we bought you two and brought you home, we had every intention of staying together forever.’ ”

Hallie narrowed her eyes. Had he just said “bought”?

“ ‘But sometimes forever isn’t possible, and that’s okay. We love both of you, but we’re going to have to split you up.’ ”

Hallie still just kept hearing the word bought as he continued speaking. He was blinking back tears, clearly very emotional, but she was having a hard time empathizing, because she couldn’t figure out what he’d said. Bought?!

“It’s never ideal to split up your kids, to each take one and go your separate ways, but somehow that seems better than a lifetime of forced interactions that would surely end in fights, right?”

Hallie pursed her lips before saying, “So the twins were adopted . . . ?”

He smiled guiltily and said, “I wouldn’t say adopted, per se, because we wanted to make sure we got the exact kind we wanted.”

Hallie just stared at him, the gooey feeling gone. Dried up. Turned to dust.

“I know, I know—rescue is the thing to do.” He sighed and steepled his fingers under his chin. “But we really wanted Labradoodles from the same mother.”

Dogs? He was talking about his dogs? Surely he couldn’t have thought that was obvious, could he? Hallie couldn’t stop her eyebrows from bunching together as she said, “So they’re not actually twins.”

Now his eyebrows went down. “No, they are.”

“Twin dogs are actually super rare.” Hallie knew it was splitting hairs, but she was suddenly irritated as hell at the dentist. “One pregnancy with just two puppies in the litter.”

“Oh.” He cleared his throat and looked confused by her words. “Well, they’re identical Labradoodles from the same litter, then.”

Hallie rubbed her lips together and told herself it was no big deal. So the guy talked about his dogs like they were his children; that wasn’t bad, right? At least he wasn’t a dick who hated animals. She inhaled through her nose—chill, Hal—before saying, “So you each walked away with one of the dogs when you split up . . . ?”

He nodded, and his eyes filled with tears again. “One of the reasons we wanted Labradoodles was because they’re very emotional animals, but that was what made telling them so tough, y’know?”

Hallie nodded her head in an understanding way, but she was struggling. “I can’t even imagine.”

She kept trying to find empathy, because she was a very empathetic person, but Dr. Stephen was literally crying at dinner because he was worried about the emotional scars he and his ex-wife might’ve left on their dogs.

Dogs she’d thought were human toddlers five minutes before.

Once he’d wiped his eyes and they’d moved onto a safe topic—the new movie theater out on the west side of town—she excused herself to go to the restroom. But as she crossed the restaurant and headed for the hallway that led to the facilities, she was filled with disappointment.

Because the dog conversation, or maybe the misunderstanding about kids, had brought on the ick. She’d lost that initial attraction for the dentist, and she could tell it was lost forever.

“How’s it going with the doc, TB?”

She turned around, and there was Jack, also entering the bathroom hallway. He was giving her a grin, and she felt her face fall into a huge smile as she found comfort in her partner in crime. “Oh, my God, Jack, you won’t even believe it.”

She grabbed his sleeve and jerked him closer to the ladies’ room so they were out of sight from the table. She looked up into those teasing blue eyes and quickly told the absurd story. “I mean, am I being a bitch? Is he a delightful dog lover and I’m just an ass?”

He narrowed his eyes, and as he looked down at her, she was struck again by how tall he was. “Did he literally call them his kids, or was that you paraphrasing?”

She squinted and recalled the conversation. “At first he called them the twins, but then yeah, he totally called them kids.”

“You’re not wrong here; that’s bonkers.”

“Thank you.” Hallie felt a little better. “How’s Carlie?”

“Great, except she told me she wants to be ‘treated like a queen.’ ”

“So?” Jack seemed like he’d treat a significant other well. “Is it that hard to treat a woman well?”

“No, a fucking actual queen.” He glanced over his shoulder, like he was worried about getting busted, and said, “She wants a man who will put her on a pedestal, shower her with gifts, defer to her wishes—her words, not mine—and never look at another woman again.”

“You are lying,” Hallie said, leaning her backside against the wall. “No one would say that on a first date.”

“It was my fault.” He put his hands in his pockets and said, “I made the mistake of saying, ‘I would totally respect a woman who just straight up says what she’s looking for.’ ”

“Well.” Hallie rolled her eyes. “You asked for it.”

“Right?”

“Stephen’s going to come looking for me or think I have diarrhea—I have to go.”

“Do you want out?” Jack asked, looking concerned, and she wasn’t sure why the sweet expression on his face made her stomach flip.

“What?”

“Do you want out of your date early, or are you still feeling it out?”

That made her laugh. “He refers to his dogs as ‘the twins,’ so I definitely want out. But I don’t want to be rude; Stephen’s a nice guy.”

Jack took a step toward the men’s room door and said, “I’ve got you. Just blink three times when you want to ditch for tacos.”

Hallie giggled and blinked three times with obnoxious obviousness.

He gave her a chin nod before they both went into their respective restrooms. When Hallie got back to the table, Stephen was scrolling through his phone.

“Sorry I took so long,” she said, feeling guilty, “but my mom texted and it was a whole thing.”

“Oh, is everything okay?”

He looked genuinely concerned, and she was a bit bummed that she’d gotten the ick. Because he was attractive, successful, and friendly—a perfect catch for so many people. He should’ve been the perfect catch for her, but no, he had to care too much about his dogs.

Which she didn’t even know could happen.

Was she a monster?

“Oh, it’s fine, my mother is just—”

The hostess showed up at the table and said, “Excuse me, are you Hallie Piper?”

“Yes . . . ?” Hallie glanced at Stephen, then back at the hostess.

“Your mother called, and she said to tell you that your ‘Auntie Helen is at it again, and you need to meet them in ten minutes if there’s any shot of stopping her from making the hugest mistake of her life.’ ”

Hallie swallowed. “What?”

“Is this what your mother was texting you about?” Stephen asked.

“Huh?” Hallie looked at Stephen.

“In the bathroom,” Stephen said, as if he was waiting for her to catch up. “You said it was a whole thing . . . ?”

“Oh.” She blinked and tried thinking through what was happening. She’d made up a lie about texting her mom, but now Jack’s plan was . . . involving her mom . . . ? Hallie nodded and said, “Yeah, this is that. That whole thing. Um, I thought she was over it, but clearly she still thinks my aunt needs help.”

Hallie rolled her eyes and shook her head as if she found the entire thing exhausting.

“Do you need to go meet them?” he asked.

“I probably should,” Hallie said. “I mean, we’re already finished with dinner, so we’re almost done anyway, right?”

Stephen looked like he was trying to figure out if she was crapping out on the date or if she was legitimately in possession of a wacko aunt and overbearing mother. He nodded. “Yes. Yes, you should totally go.”

She gathered her purse before they exchanged the little I’ll call you goodbye that almost never resulted in an actual call. She said, “Thank you so much for tonight, Stephen.”

“Anytime,” he said, and then she waved and was virtually running out the front door.

She ordered a margarita at the Taco Hut bar, then walked straight out to the back patio. Somehow she just knew Jack would be out there, and she was right. He was leaning back in a chair with a lowball of tequila in his hand, smirking as he watched her approach.

The way he was looking at her might’ve seemed like something at one time, but now she was convinced Jack was right, that it was just the normal chemistry that existed between two people who’d previously had sex.

“Well, that was the weirdest escape call in the history of dating,” Hallie said.

“That’s what makes it genius,” Jack said, kicking out the chair across from him at the table so she could sit on it. “You make it so batshit confusing that the other person has no choice but to say, ‘You should go.’ ”

“I don’t know if I’d call it genius, but it’s certainly entertaining,” Hallie said as she plopped down in her seat and took a sip of her drink. “I know we just ate, but I kind of want a taco.”

“Already ordered you one.”

“You did?”

“Chicken taco with cheese on the bottom,” he said.

She almost choked as she laughed and swallowed at the same time. “You remembered!”

“I mean, what’s the point of cold, hard cheese?”

It was impossible not to grin at Jack as he sat there being thoughtful, smug, and absolutely adorable. “You’ve never sounded smarter, Marshall.”

He tipped his glass. “Why, thank you, Piper.”

They just sat there for a minute, grinning at their ridiculous situation.

“So, want to hear something weird?” Hallie asked, stirring her drink with her straw.

“Always,” he said.

“When I was walking over here, I realized that my non-match date tonight actually gave me hope for finding Mr. Soul Mate.”

He tilted his head a little. “How so?”

“Because Stephen is a good guy. Not for me, but still a catch—he’s successful, nice, and attractive. So even though it didn’t work out, I have hope in the possibilities. The next Stephen could be the one.”

Jack gave a nod. “I mean, I suppose that’s what dating is. Finding the quality person who’s more than just a good candidate.”

“Right?” She crossed her arms and said, “I just feel like it could be close.”

“Your words to Ditka’s ears, Piper.”

“You have to stop saying that.”

They ended up closing down the Taco Hut after getting way too into bar trivia. Hallie was great at pop culture, while Jack was ridiculously good at history, so they had an impossible time walking away when they were in first place.

After the restaurant closed, they walked home, which Hallie tipsily decided was the best perk of living downtown.

“Seriously, I should sell my car,” she said, loving the feel of the city at night. All the colorful lights, the car noises, the smells of delicious food and garbage—it was intoxicating. “I love this.”

“Watch the mud,” Jack said, pointing to the thick sludge on the sidewalk. “You don’t want to ruin those boots.”

Hallie smiled at him and bumped his arm with hers. “I knew you’d noticed my pretty suede boots.”

“I only noticed because you looked a little wobbly after your beers.” He grabbed her arm and stopped her forward motion. “Look.”

They’d hit a spot that was apparently at the bottom of the hill, because the entire sidewalk was covered in thick mud.

“Gah—my boots are going to get ruined,” she whined.

Jack shook his head with a sigh and said, “Get on.”

“What?”

He bent a little at the waist and gestured to his back. “Piggyback ride.”

Her mouth dropped open and she couldn’t stop the giggle. “Are you for real, Jack?”

“Hop on and shut up, Hal.”

She climbed onto his back, and he straightened and carried her to her building as if she were as light as a feather. She buried her cold nose in his warm neck, getting buzzed on the smell of soap and Jack, but he didn’t complain too much.

“Your nose is so cold,” he said.

“But your neck is so warm, I can’t help myself,” she replied, burying her nose a little deeper into his collar.

“Fine.”

When they finally reached her building, she climbed off his back and pulled a dollar out of her purse.

“For you, sir,” she teased, holding out the money. “Thank you for seeing me home.”

“A dollar?” He made a face, snatched the dollar from her fingers, and said, “I’m worth more than that, for the record, but I’ll take it.”

“Whatever. Just walk carefully the rest of the way, okay?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Worried about me?”

“You wish.” She raised her key fob and pulled open the door when it beeped. “More like I’m worried about you dying before I get my free vacation.”