The Lesser of 2 Evils

KRISTINA, LAYING THE GROUNDWORK

Even if I wake up on the morning of my birthday and find my true bond mate – it won’t matter because I already have a preselected partner. I wouldn’t even bother trying to appeal the decision because of who my partner is and the fact that he has already been waiting for me, rather impatiently I might add. He tried on numerous occasions to convince me to have sex with him – since we’re promised to one another anyways, but I always refused. Just because the rest of my life is over after I turn eighteen, didn’t mean I was in a hurry to get there.

So with a lot of complaining and attempted guilt, Lincoln has been waiting for me. It wasn’t too bad at first, when he turned eighteen. Thankfully, he didn’t find his bond mate in the pack so didn’t have to go through the hardship of having to reject her – that would have been awful to be the cause of. However, once Linc took over from his father – then his attitude changed.

Everything changed.

Once Lincoln took over as Alpha for our pack, he became more short-tempered. He shouted instead of speaking, demanded instead of asking, he grew petulant and impulsive. In a pack that sticks to its’ own business, doesn’t interact with anyone outside including other packs, the title of Alpha holds little power outside of our pack but Lincoln took it to heart. His ego grew in size as did his rage – for no reason or any reason.

The boy I grew up with soon became someone I didn’t recognize.

The future I was already not looking forward to had now become a future I dreaded. Every single day I woke up with my stomach in knots, the anxiety ten-fold in my muscles and my mind racing through all of the scenarios of the future I’m facing. When I say ‘all of the scenarios’ that sounds like I’m implying I have a lot of options – I don’t.

I know nothing of the outside world or even of what lays beyond our territory borders – I’d be lost if I tried to leave. For all I know, angels and demons walk the planet and as soon as I leave one of them will kill me and eat my heart for a snack – what the hell do I know? It’s also possible there is a wondrous world where I could live a new life, given half a chance. A life of endless opportunities – I can only imagine what I’d find beyond our primitive forest walls… but I don’t know. I would hope for the best of course, but what if everything I’ve ever heard is true and I only find nightmares and horrors outside?

What if I leave, I die?

Of course, if I stay here – I do know what I’m going to find and it isn’t much better. At least, not in my opinion it isn’t. I know some of the girls in our pack are jealous of me because of who my preselected is – but I’m not. I don’t want someone chosen for me – I want the freedom to fall in love and choose for myself. I don’t want to be kept around and used as a breeder until I ‘wear out’ or die, with no ability to say no to my partner. I will be HIS in every sense of the word and the thought of having to spread my legs to Lincoln whenever he demands it makes my stomach flip over before twisting into knots.

If I stay, I will want to die.

“To me, the choice is simple,” Bella states before going quiet again. Ultimately the decision is mine to make and she’s along for the ride but is it really that simple? I’m terrified to live my future either way so I guess it comes down to – what is the lesser evil? What frightens me less? The unknown or the for sure?

With only three days until my birthday, I don’t have a lot of time to think about it but once I start truly giving it consideration – the decision comes easy. Executing said decision is another matter altogether but now that I have a direction – there is no deterring me. I don’t know how it is going to wind up or where I’ll end up but I’m going to take the chance – I’m going to make a break for it.

Now to put my plan into action.

Shifters don’t change forms when they’re pregnant, it is dangerous for the pups so when I tell my parents I’m going for a run that evening, they don’t think twice about it after I explain my reasoning. Knowing Lincoln’s goal is going to be knocking me up as soon as he can, I tell them I want to take advantage of these last few days of ‘freedom’ and they quickly let me go. That first night, I run for a solid two hours in all directions, leaving my scent everywhere and anywhere before returning home.

I do the same thing the second night.

Pleading the same case, I head out even earlier and run for longer, ensuring the trail I lead is long, wide and as confusing as possible. I backpedal in spots, lay down in others, cross the river back and forth numerous times to leave my scent on both sides and make a general nuisance of myself – should anyone be interested.

Which I know they will be, soon enough.

The next night, I head out early in the evening again. It is my last night of freedom – tomorrow is the big day. I feign excitement about my birthday before heading out and my folks don’t think anything of it after my previous nights’ excursions – they even tell me to have fun.

Little did I know how un-fun it was going to be.