The king's eyes

Satine

My father asks us to go home. After all these years...

I’ve hoped for this moment for so long, so much that now it’s finally happening, I don’t want it.

“I will not go," I said to my grandmother Idrina and my brother.

"Satine... You knew you would come back one day. We weren’t supposed to stay in Vorah forever. I even thought that your father would ask us to come back to the castle after the end of your studies, next year.

He probably wants you to finish it in Amben, that’s good news, honey. Your dad misses you, we all miss him." Nana told me.

I do not agree: "If so, why did he have to keep us away from the castle for so long? The opponents have disappeared over time, there is no longer a threat, and they have managed to scare away the magical creatures...

No reason to keep us away all this time... He didn’t want us around, that’s all."

"Then why would he make us come back before the end of your studies? I am convinced that he no longer wants to live far from you, that he needs you next to him... He has suffered a lot, too, you both know it." She insisted.

"Nana, he surely needs us for something, I find it hard to believe that he finally wants to play his role as a father," I said.

Joan speaks:

“Anyway, you’ve been mad at him from the start. It was sure...that you were going to reject him when he wanted us back. Dad is the king, he wants us to come home, let’s go, and that’s all. He needs us, and I’m happy if we can help him."

He is so naive, I must tell him again "Open your eyes, Joan! The father you knew is no more. This Shezaar screwed up our parents, both of them.

Dad was great, it’s true, but today he can’t stand anything or anyone. He is punishing us for his misfortune. I’m sure he hates me because I look like mom, he couldn’t bear to see my face."

Nana argues with me "Satine! You talk nonsense, that’s enough! You’re talking about my son, he’s been through hell but he’s never been bad. He would never punish you for the madness of others, your mother was a victim too and that’s how he sees things too.

He blames himself, you know? He blames himself for not being able to keep her with him, for exposing her to Shezaar, he doesn’t blame her...

He never wanted what happened... Things he has escaped. We already talked about it, children."

She loves her son, I get it. But she's not in my skin, neither my head.

I pursue "He ignored us, he left us to live with the loss of mum, alone without him, our only remaining parent... I would blame him all my life for that. We needed him, as he needed us, he turned his back on us."

The tears still come to me... it’s been so long all this though... But I’m still sensitive about this story.

My father was my hero, I admired him all my young life, I was so proud of him, to be his daughter... He was glued to us, and took care of our education almost alone, he knew to be strict but also funny and cuddly...

He disappeared from our lives overnight...

He thought he was protecting us, and I know that’s what he wanted in the first place. But he never asked us to come back...

He gave up on us, he stayed in his cave of unhappiness, anger, and loneliness as only company.

He never imagined that we could help him, help each other, stay united all three, all four with Nana.

I blame him and I can’t accept his choices.

But I know I’m going to have to go home. It’s my duty, that’s how it is, being the king’s daughter isn’t that great. I will have to leave boarding school and my friends earlier than expected.

Joan is happy with that... Good for him.

We’ll even have to hit the road as quickly as possible, come on. We’ve had a life for eight years dad, don’t you think? Apparently, it doesn’t matter.

We are leaving tonight.

I’m going to go see my friends presently and tell them I’m leaving. I’ll tell them that a member of my family is sick or something.

Yes, because obviously nobody knows my true identity... Here at Vorah I’m not Satine Dorkaron, I’m Sarah Sornan. A simple human from a modest family who comes from the capital to study in the provinces where life is quieter.

My friends know that my mother is dead. I have so much pain when I talk about my mother that it was difficult to do otherwise.

And I invented an exemplary father who comes to see us from time to time, who is very present for us. The father I imagine he would have been if all this hadn’t happened.

I don’t know how I’m going to react when I see him again.

I have to respect him, despite everything.

So I’ll lay low, I’ll be respectful, but cold and aloof. Like him, after all.

I don’t know what we can have to say to each other today, what can we possibly have in common? We are even opposites. He has become dark and I want to enjoy life.

He doesn’t like anyone and wants to be alone. I only seek to be surrounded as much as possible, and to laugh, dance, talk, life...

I am fascinated by magic of all kinds, and he is convinced that this is the cause of the drama in his life...

Really, it’s going to be complicated.