The Heart of the Ocean

“We’re all in the same game;

just different levels.

Dealing with the same hell;

just different devils.”

Do you ever get that feeling when you feel like important things have happened but everyone keeps you in the dark? It’s like there’s a big secret that only a few individuals are allowed to know about. Every time you walk into the room, the conversation changes. Every time you ask, they make it seem like you’re delusional. And most importantly, when you overhear certain parts of conversations, you feel like a fool.

A fool who trusts people, only for them to push you aside when it’s time for important decisions. People you love and respect, but they still hide things from you. They’re acting as if you cannot understand what’s going on. As if you cannot express an opinion and help them. As if their decisions do not affect you or hurt you in any way. Well, that’s how Aide had been feeling lately –like a damn fool.

Aileen had been acting strangely after the Festival of Honor. The red-haired wasn’t her usual cheerful self. She seemed lost in her thoughts; her bright smile had turned into a frown. Aide had the feeling she was avoiding her –she was spending an unhealthy amount of time on her own, she was turning down many opportunities to hang out and spend time with her friends. It wasn’t until the end of the week that Aileen finally explained to her what was going on –or so she had thought.

“He pushed me off the cliff”, she had said in a quiet tone.

Aide could only stare at her in pure horror. How did her friend survive a fall like this? How hadn’t she hit the sharp rocks below? How hadn’t she drowned as the wild waves pushed her under the surface? How was she even alive? Truth be told, she was feeling extremely guilty. If she had managed to stop Alastor that night, her friend wouldn’t have been pushed off the damn cliff!

It was her fault, she had decided. She should have tried harder. She should have gone to her home when she hadn’t answered her calls. She just thought her friend was exhausted –that she had fallen asleep. Instead, Aileen was fighting for her life –trying to keep her head above the water! She was such an awful friend. She couldn’t blame Aileen for avoiding her the whole week.

When she had suggested that they reported the incident to the police, the red-haired refused immediately. She was thinking the same thing she’d thought. Alastor Steel may be an asshole, but he had influence. Even if they reported him, his father would make sure nothing happened to him. He was the mayor’s son –his family had power and riches. Who would believe them over him?

Aide tried to control the boiling anger inside of her. She just tried to be there for her friend and offer her the support she needed. Aileen had a traumatic experience; she needed time and people she loved to help her through it. However, the red-haired didn’t seem to seek the company of her friends very often. On the contrary, the trio seemed to be breaking apart. Petra and Aide didn’t seem to be getting along, especially now that Aileen wasn’t with them. The red-haired disappeared for many hours during the day, leaving the girls confused and avoiding each other.

Aide didn’t know what to make out of her behavior. She was feeling hurt, but she didn’t want to push her limits. Aileen was going through a tough period of time and she didn’t want to make her feel worse. It wasn’t like she was hiding something from her –she just needed some time on her own. At least, that’s what she thought...until one afternoon, she decided to pay her a visit.

And now, there she was –standing like a fool, looking at the window of Aileen’s living room in confusion. She hadn’t expected Nana Alexandra to be there. She knew the old lady had a soft spot for her friend –she considered her a second granddaughter just like Aide considered her a sister. She didn’t know why she hid before any of them saw her –it was a decision she hadn’t put much thought into. Fortunately, the window was open and she could hear the conversation clearly.

“What do you know about mermen?”

The question made her freeze. Had she heard correctly? Her ears started to burn as Aileen asked all the questions she had been begging her grandmother to answer for years. Only this time, the elder didn’t turn her down as she had done with her. Tonight, Nana Alexandra gave answers.

“You’ve seen one.”

“He talked to me.”

Her ears began to ring as she realized the truth. Aileen Smith had met a merman –no! Not any merman –her soulmate! He was the one that saved her from drowning, not a passing fisherman who was looking for squids. Her friend hadn’t told her about him. She had lied to her, treating her as if she wasn’t trustworthy to keep a secret. Aide didn’t realize when the tears started to fill her eyes.

“Mermen are quite unique beasts –they only protect what’s valuable to them. They could not care less for the rest of the world –it is not their business.”

Nana’s voice was confident as she spoke. She didn’t need more time, she didn’t have any problem speaking about merpeople. She offered her help without any hesitation, giving Aileen the answers that Aide had been desperately seeking for years.

“You should go back to him. It is not good for him to be parted for a long time from his destined mate –you’ll begin to feel restless too in a few days. He’ll surely have more answers to your questions too.”

Three years. She hadn’t seen her merman in three years. Aide could feel the tears falling down her cheeks as she attempted to keep any noise from escaping her. She didn’t know why she was feeling lonely. She didn’t know why she couldn’t get him out of her mind. He was in her thoughts every single day, making her more confused and desperate for answers. She was terrified of him and yet, she couldn’t let him go.

The brunette hadn’t realized when she left. She couldn’t bear to hear any further. She started to walk aimlessly through the streets of Seaworth, lost in her thoughts and feelings. She had tried to talk to her grandmother for so long, but she never gave her the chance. She knew that merpeople were real and still...she treated her as if she was a child. As if she was having hallucinations and the merman who saved her was just part of her imagination.

She could have trusted her like she’d trusted Aileen. She could have told her the truth and extinguished her worries. Instead, she left her in the dark, allowing her nightmares to trouble her soul every night. Allowing her to search for answers she couldn’t find elsewhere until she met a dead end. Allowing her heart to bleed out as she distanced herself from the only person she fought so hard for.

No, that wasn’t Nana’s fault.

It was her own. She had run away from him as he screamed her name in agony. She had thrown away her necklace –so carelessly, as if she wasn’t throwing away her heart at the same time. As if it meant absolutely nothing. As if she wasn’t crying at the same time, barely holding herself from turning back to him. As if every step she took away didn’t feel like she was dying inside.

She was such a fool!

She didn’t know when she started to look at herself differently in the mirror. She didn’t know when she started hating herself for the way she handled the situation. For the way she left. For the answers, she couldn’t find. For the time she forced them apart. She hoped he hated her too. Why wouldn’t he? She caused him so much pain and sadness. She was a cruel person –she didn’t deserve his love.

She could feel her heart throbbing painfully at her inner thoughts. She closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. This was how she had been feeling for a while. No matter what anyone told her, she felt as if she made so many mistakes. As if she was the only one to blame. And that fact... made her only feel worse.

She didn’t know for how long she walked. When she could finally focus on reality, the sun was long gone and the stars were decorating the black veil of the night. She sniffled slightly and wiped away her tears. When her gaze was clear, she could barely believe what she was seeing.

A familiar blonde enters the mayor’s house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of chapter 20!!

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