The Happy Treatment

Mom was kind enough to let me take her car to Eva’s house that morning, and I was anxious to make it over. Eva’s house was located in a wealthy and beautiful neighborhood. Almost everyone who lived in her neighborhood had had the Happy treatment, even the young children. Parents didn’t want their child growing up depressed and having to pay for constant medication while they could pay for one big change and be done with it. A child, probably 5 or 6 years old, was wandering down the sidewalk by himself as I drove by, having his eyes glued to his phone. It’s always a strange sight to see, a child outside wandering around by himself with everything that happens in this country today, but it was actually fairly common in Eva’s neighborhood to see a child by himself. Eva’s neighborhood was safe after all, and almost everyone seemed to be happy.

I pull into Eva’s driveway and park next to her car. The house is surrounded by perfect shrubbery and perfectly planted flowers. I walk up to the porch and ring the doorbell to have Eva’s younger sister by 2 years answer the door.

“Hey Zophie,” I greeted her. Her light brown skin makes the blue color in her eyes pop as the sunlight hits her face. The scars on her arms don’t seem as rough or as recent as Eva’s. “The yard looks nice, I assume you planted the flowers?”

Zophie nods, blowing her curly brown hair out of her face, she looked nothing like Eva, except maybe the eyes. They are technically half sisters afterall, but how she blows her hair out of her face and all the other little mannerisms of hers remind me exactly of Eva’s. “Yep,” Zophie says, “You take a look around the neighborhood? Everyone has the most boring little half dead bushes and no one goes outside to plant flowers anymore. Our yard needs to make up for everyone else’s.”

She widens the door to let me inside and I’m instantly greeted by Lavvy, a little curly headed dog Zophie named when she was a toddler and could barely speak full sentences. She named it after lavender, her favorite flower. Eva has told me it’s supposed to be the family’s dog, but everyone including Lavvy knows she really belongs to Zophie. Zophie walks off to her room and Lavvy follows. I walk upstairs to Eva’s room and knock on her bedroom door. “Eeeeeeva,” I say. Eva opens the door with headphones and her phone in her hand, “Sorry! Didn’t hear you come in.”

“Zophie let me in,” I say and enter Eva’s room. Eva sits on her bed with an excited look on her face.

“Soooooo?” I say, “What is it? What’s up?”

Eva reaches under her bed and in one swift move pulls out a bag and tosses it to me. Inside there’s a few orange bottles with pills inside. “That’s what’s up!” Eva says excitedly. She even managed to get me the same brand I take, although some of the dosage in each bottle had more or less milligrams than others.

“Wow!” I say, shifting through the pill bottles, “I thought you were going to see Ryker next week after the weekend?”

“Yeah, I was. But then, I don’t know. You seemed off in English class watching those ads and… I don’t know. I was worried and figured you needed these sooner.”

Now I realize what she means by “off.” She thought I was going to kill myself. That must have been why she decided to text me and check on me when we never do that sort of thing. “Ah,” I say, understanding, “so Ryker is a good one I guess? Did we really get that lucky?”

“Not exactly sure. He said that’s all I can have for now and anymore and his dad might notice some are gone. That’s just unorganized if you ask me though. Who doesn’t keep a strict tab on an inventory as expensive as that one? It’s not like it’s cheap vodka,” Eva laughs to herself, “But also, don’t mention this to Ryker. I don’t think he knows I gave you some and I don’t want him thinking I’m telling the whole school about this.”

I nod, understanding the major consequences a pill pocketer could face if they’re doings were revealed. “Wow,” I replied, “well, I definitely appreciate it. And this means no need for the Happy treatment too.”

“Eh, think about it though, Cindy. One treatment only calms your brain down a little tiny bit and numbs the pain in a way, and the other makes you happy. The other one works.”

I froze for a moment, “So… what? Are you still thinking about getting the treatment?”

“I don’t think so. Listen, I was kind of overthinking yesterday and I was a bit worried about you. I know we have our pact - yes I haven’t forgotten it, so I’m not going to get it since you can’t. It’s just, I mean, look at my neighborhood at the people I live around,” she does her little laugh again, “Everyone is happy. This neighborhood is a safe place. Parents are able to force their kids to play outside and go on walks without having to worry what’s going to happen, because everyone is happy. I wish everyone would and could get the treatment.”

I’ve always thought Eva’s neighbors she lived around were a bit strange, and honestly stupid with the few interactions I’ve experienced with them. “Yeah, I guess,” I hollowly agree. We both pause for an awkward moment. “Aren’t your neighbors a little strange though?” I say, breaking the quick silence.

“What do you mean?” Eva asks.

“They just give me those vibes you know? Almost like the fake people at one of those small town churches that’s overly friendly to your face then later talks behind your back about everything they think is wrong with you but they think it’s okay because they’re talking about it in the form of it being a ‘prayer request.’”

Eva laughs, “Ha that’s so true! That’s just their personality though, it’s not like the Happy treatment did that to them.” She continues to laugh.

“Mmmm,” I say and give Eva a doubting look.

“Whattt? I swear they’ve always been like that!”

I purse my lips and use the best friend telekinesis power we have. I give her the I-won’t-believe-you-unless-we-go-on-an-adventure-and-see-your-neighbors look.

“Nooooo,” Eva says, understanding my look, “I don’t wanna spend my time talking to my weird neighbors.”

“Girl, what else do we have to do? Sit and scroll on our phones?”

“That sounds like the better option.”

I roll my eyes, “Come onnnn,” I walk over to her bedroom window, “Look! They’re both outside right now letting their dog run around. Let’s go bother them.”

Eva groans and stands up, “Fine, let’s go talk to some happy people.”

“Yay, let’s go.”

I set the bag of antidepressants on her desk and opened her bedroom door.

“Don’t let me forget to give you those,” Eva says, pointing to the bag.

“Ha, those are the only things that make me stable,” I say lightly, “I’m not forgetting those.” I rely on those little expensive pills for too much mental stability. I’ve never forgotten to take my medicine. Not from the pharmacy, not from my cabinet every night and now not from here.

Eva laughs, “Whatever man, let’s go before I change my mind.”

We walk outside and Zophie is sitting on the porch with Lavvy sitting next to her. “What y’all doing?” she asks.

“Showing Cindy the weird neighbors,” Eva says.

“Ah, the happy ones,” Zophie looks over at the neighbors watching their dog, “Have fun.”

We walk up to the bushes acting as the property line between the two houses.

“Beatrice! Todd!” Eva shouts at the neighbors, waving. The neighbors look over and smile when they see Eva. They get up and stroll over to the other side of the bushes, their movements perfectly in sync.

“Eva!” Todd says, “How are you?”

“I’m good, how are-” Todd cuts her off and laughs. “Wonderful!” he responds before Eva can finish the question.

“Uh, Todd, Beatrice, this is my friend, Cindy. She wanted to meet you guys.”

They look over at me as if they’ve just noticed me. “Wonderful!” Beatrice says, “So nice to meet you!”

Zophie gets up from her porch chair and walks over to us, Lavvy following close behind her. “Okay,” she says walking up, “this is painful to watch. Eva’s not very good at this, let me show you, Cindy.” She scoots herself between Eva and I and looks at Todd and Beatrice.

“Todd, Beatrice,” she acknowledges them and looks both in the eye as she says their names, “your yard looks like shit.”

My eyes widen and I look over at Zophie as if to say have you ever talked to a human being?

“Ugh,” Eva sighs, “she always does this.”

Todd and Beatrice both laugh as if on command. “Ha!” Beatrice laughs and looks at me, pointing to Zophie, “this one is always hilarious!”

“Any yard sitting next to yours, Zophie, is going to look bad!” Todd says, “I love the flowers!”

“Thanks, when’s the last time y’all got flowers? Or literally anything?” Zophie gestures towards their bare yard with nothing but a pitiful looking, dead apple tree still in the plastic pot from the store on their front porch that was too small to probably ever produce anything.

“Oh my, well let’s think,” Beatrice says, turning to Todd, “It’s been quite a while.”

Todd nods, “Yes, I think we stopped getting flowers about a few years ago.”

“Around the same time y’all got the Happy treatment?” Zophie asks.

“Ah!” Beatrice says, “Yes, that’s when! Isn’t that a funny coincidence?”

“So funny!” Todd agrees. He points towards his wife, “This one used to love flowers. I’d buy different ones for her every week to cheer her up and give her something to look forward to in the week, but we stopped doing that. No need for it anymore!”

“So now what do you do instead? Sit and stare at that pathetic twig over there that’s as dead as y’all’s brain cells?” She points at the dead apple tree.

“Zophie,” Eva says through her teeth. Todd and Beatrice laugh again, “Ha!” Todd says, “got us again, Zophie!” Zophie rolls her eyes. She leans over to me and says, “They never answered my question. That’s ’cause I guessed right.”

Their laughter sounds forced and programmed, and the hostility from Zophie forces me to chime in. “So what’s your dog’s name?” I ask desperately, trying to make the conversation a bit lighter. I point to their dog running in circles. Todd and Beatrice turn, still strangely in sync. “Ah,” Beatrice says, “That’s Pow Pow. He’s our sweet big ’ole pitbull.”

“Where’s Pew Pew?” Eva asks, “You guys had another dog that was a little yorkie right?”

“Pew Pew’s dead,” Todd says cheerfully. Eva’s eyes widened, “Oh! I’m so sorry! I thought I saw him running out here yesterday.”

“You did,” Beatrice confirms, “but he’s dead now.” She turns to Todd, “Which reminds me, Todd, we need to make a post about Pew Pew. I bet I can get more likes than you!”

Todd laughs, “You’re on, Beatrice!”

Eva and I stand there awkwardly, not sure what to say. Zophie doesn’t attempt to hide her judgmental expression. It feels safe to assume they probably wouldn’t be offended by it anyway if they were even capable of noticing it. “Well,” Eva says awkwardly, “I’m sorry for your loss. Where did you guys bury him? I’m sure Zophie could plant a few flowers around him if you’d allow it.”

Zophie puts away her judgmental expression and finally says something not insulting, “Yeah, I still have some plants in my room I haven’t planted yet.”

Beatrice and Todd don’t say anything for what seems like forever. Another awkward silence fills the air as they stare blankly with a bit of confusion. “Bury him?” Todd says confusingly. “...Yeah,” Eva says, “Where was he buried? Where’s his body?”

“Oh!” Beatrice says, “You mean where did we put him. Pew Pew is in our trash can. Oh, that also reminds me, Todd, I need to take out the trash. It’s starting to smell and Pow Pow keeps whining at the trash.”

“Oh that silly dog,” Todd answers, “He almost knocked it over earlier!”

My plan to make the conversation a little more comfortable had backfired greatly. Eva and I look at each other with the what-the-fuck look on our faces.

“What the fuck?” Zophie says aloud, not bothering to hide those words in a look like Eva and I. She picks up Lavvy and holds her tight.

“Oh, hi Lavvy! So cute!” Beatrice says, trying to reach out to pet her. Zophie backs away before Beatrice can reach Lavvy. “You’re not touching my dog, you’re sick!” Zophie shouts disgustedly. Beatrice laughs.

“Your dog died less than 24 hours ago, why are you laughing?” Zophie says. Eva takes a deep breath in and quickly says, “Okay, let’s let Todd and Beatrice take care of their business. Zophie, go inside.” Zophie storms inside, still clutching Lavvy in her arms.

“Bye Zophie!” Todd says, still with an uncomfortably happy smile on his face.

“Nice talking to you Beatrice and Todd,” I say as Eva and I start to walk back inside.

“Wonderful meeting you, Cindy!” Beatrice says.

“Wonderful!” Todd echos.