The Girl I Once Loved: Love & Hate Duet

It’s a gorgeous day, like the sky wanted to be as perfect for Daisy as I do as we step into the quaint little bridal boutique in town. It’s a charming space with ivy-covered walls and large windows adorned with delicate lace curtains. The scent of fresh flowers fills the air, and I can’t help but smile at the cozy, inviting atmosphere. It’s Daisy’s first dress appointment, and I’m here to support her along with our mother.

Daisy could have easily flown in a designer dress from Paris with the endless resources at her disposal, thanks to Derrick’s wealth. But at some point over the years, she fell in love with Thatcher’s Bay, and she insisted on having her dress made by a local designer.

Considering how small the island is, the bridal shop is actually a treasure trove of gowns, each one more exquisite than the last. Rows of elegant dresses in various shades of white and ivory beckon to us, like a chorus of whispered dreams. Soft music plays in the background, adding to the enchanting ambiance of the boutique.

Daisy’s eyes sparkle with excitement as she approaches the racks of dresses, her fingers delicately tracing the fabric of one gown after another. ‘I can’t believe I’m getting married,’ she whispers, her voice filled with a mixture of joy and nervous anticipation as she sips on the very expensive champagne Derrick sent over for the appointment.

I sling my arm around her waist and lay my head down on her shoulder. ‘It’s going to be perfect, Daisy. You’re going to be the most beautiful bride.’

“I’m not worried about that part,” she says with a wink, and I bark out a laugh. Because of course she would say that.

Mom chimes in, her eyes misting over already—probably over the fact that Daisy is standing in a wedding dress shop at all. ‘My baby girl is all grown up.’

My mother wraps her arms around Daisy’s other side in what should be a tender family moment. But beneath the surface, there’s still that ever present tension simmering between my mother and me, a weight that drags down the good feelings I have for Daisy. It’s a tension that hangs in the air like an unspoken truth. We used to be so close, but now our relationship feels like a delicate glass sculpture, one wrong move away from shattering into a million irreparable pieces.

And I have no idea what to do about it.

I may have left under bad circumstances, but I’ve accomplished a lot over the years. I graduated from an Ivy League with great grades, I have a good job…I had the perfect boyfriend.

None of that is enough to erase my flight in the night apparently.

One of the employees gives us a brief overview of how orders work and how the final fitting will be done at their sister boutique in Falmouth, gushing appropriately over Daisy the entire time, and then we get started.

“Okay, each of us will pick out three dresses to start with, and I’ll try them on,” Daisy directs, flipping through the gowns.

My mother and I both nod, not making eye contact with each other. I take the task seriously, carefully selecting three dresses that I think will be perfect on Daisy. There’s no doubt about it though, Daisy could make a paper sack look good.

The first gown I select is a classic A-line dress with a modern twist. It has a sweetheart neckline adorned with intricate lace appliques that cascade down the bodice. The skirt is made of layers of soft tulle that create a dreamy, ethereal effect. The back of the dress boasts an elegant illusion lace panel, adding a touch of sophistication. I imagine Daisy walking down the aisle in this gown, her grace and elegance captivating everyone in attendance.

For the second choice, I opt for a more bohemian-inspired gown. It’s a flowy, off-the-shoulder dress with a delicate lace overlay. The sleeves are long and sheer, giving the dress an airy and romantic feel. The A-line skirt flows effortlessly, perfect for a beach wedding—the kind of wedding I once dreamt of. The dress is simple yet striking, and I think it would suit Daisy’s free-spirited nature beautifully.

Finally, I select a timeless mermaid-style gown for the third option. This dress hugs the body in all the right places before flaring out dramatically at the knees. The bodice is adorned with intricate beadwork and sequins, adding a touch of glamor to the overall look. The back of the gown features a dramatic train that would make for a stunning entrance. I envision Daisy in this dress, exuding confidence and sophistication as she walks down the aisle.

Daisy begins trying on the dresses, each one more stunning than the last. When she steps out of the fitting room in the mermaid style dress, I gasp at the sight of her. She looks ethereal, like a fairy-tale princess, and a tear escapes my eye.

‘You look absolutely breathtaking,’ I tell her, my voice filled with genuine awe.

Daisy blushes and twirls in the gown, the train swirling around her like she’s some kind of moviestar. ‘This is a good option.’

‘Derrick will be blown away. You’ll be the most beautiful bride he’s ever seen,” Mom gushes.

I nod emphatically, but Daisy just gives us a wink. “My man would think that no matter how I showed up.”

My heart squeezes at that comment. Because I could have had that…I did have that.

If only I wasn’t so fucked in the head.

Daisy continues to try on more dresses, her confidence shining through with each one. She radiates beauty and grace, and I’m amazed at her…as usual. ‘You look stunning, Daisy,’ I say with genuine admiration as she models each gown.

Daisy grins and twirls again, her eyes sparkling. ‘I can’t believe I get to wear one of these on my wedding day.’

As the day unfolds, Daisy finally settles on the perfect dress—a stunning ball gown with intricate beading and a long, flowing veil. When she looks at herself in the mirror, her eyes fill with tears of joy, and I know she’s found the one.

Our mother can’t hold back her emotions either and wraps Daisy in a tight embrace. ‘I’m so happy for you, my love.’

Daisy smiles through her tears, her happiness radiating from her like a beacon of light. ‘Thank you, Mom.’

I watch the exchange between my mother and sister, feeling like an outsider in my own family. But I force a smile on my face, happy for her even if I’m not happy for myself.

We’ve gotten so many dresses out that my mom and I start to hang them back up so the employees don’t have to do it all on their own.

“Wait, you should try that one on before we put it away,” Daisy gushes suddenly as I go to hang up the A-line one I’d picked in the beginning. She’s still wearing her dress as one of the employees works on her measurements for alterations.

“What? No way,” I snort.

“Please. Just try it on. Just for fun. Pleaseeee.”

I roll my eyes, but I’ve never been able to say no to Daisy, so I slip into the dressing room and yank the dress up, thinking how stupid it is the entire time.

As I slip on the silk gown, a sense of trepidation washes over me. The delicate lace appliques and flowing tulle skirt envelop me, and I can’t deny that it’s a beautiful gown. But as I look at myself in the mirror, I’m reminded of the dreams I had as a teenager—the dreams of a perfect love. The dress is a symbol of everything I once dreamed of, everything I believed in, and everything that ultimately slipped away. I know I shouldn’t let it affect me like this, but I can’t help it.

Daisy’s voice breaks through my reverie. ‘Skylar, you look absolutely stunning!’

Our mother joins in, her voice filled with pride. ‘That dress suits you so well, dear. You’re radiant in it.’

Their words warm my heart, and I force a smile in response. I don’t want to dampen Daisy’s excitement or overshadow her joy with my own insecurities. Today is about her, and I’m here to support her in every way I can.

But as I stand there in the bridal gown, I can’t help but confront my own doubts and regrets. It’s been seven years since I left Thatcher’s Bay, leaving behind not only my dreams but also the people I loved. The ache in my heart is a reminder of all the choices I’ve made and the paths I’ve taken.

Gael’s face fills my head.

He’d give me the wedding of my dreams in this dress…he’d even try his best to give me a happily ever after. If only I would fully embrace the love he offers.

The problem is…that as I stare at myself in this gown, I’m reminded of…Noah.

And Gael doesn’t deserve that.

As I stand here, caught between the past and the present, I wonder if I’ll ever find the courage to fully embrace the love Gael offers me. I know I can’t keep living in the past, but letting go of those memories is easier said than done.

As we drive home, with the lazy sea breeze brushing over my skin through the open window, I can’t help but let myself drift into a daydream, one I’d had countless times in high school with Noah.

I’m standing on the shores of Thatcher’s Bay, the waves gently lapping at my feet. The sun is setting on the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over everything. I’m wearing a flowing white gown, the fabric billowing in the breeze. My hair is loose and tousled, adorned with delicate wildflowers.

And waiting for me at the end of a makeshift aisle, his eyes filled with love and longing, is Noah. He’s dressed in a simple suit, his light hair ruffled by the wind. The sight of him takes my breath away, just as it did all those years ago when we were young and foolish and in love.

As I walk toward him, each step filled with anticipation, my heart flutters in my chest. Noah’s gaze never wavers from mine, and I can see the depth of his feelings in his eyes. The world around us fades away, and it’s just the two of us, lost in this moment of pure, unadulterated love.

Just as our hands touch, and my mouth opens to say my vows…I’m jolted back to reality.

I’m not on a picturesque beach.

And Noah is not waiting for me.

The distance between us is not just physical but emotional, too great to bridge to attempt to cross.

I open my eyes and take a deep breath, banishing the fantasy from my mind. The ache in my chest remains, a reminder of the love I once had and the choices I had to make. I know that Noah is a part of my past, a chapter that can never be rewritten.

But my heart doesn’t seem to get the message.