The Falcon Ridge Series Book 2 Not Just A Girl

(Chapter song ‘Hot N Cold’ by Katy Perry)

SARAH

That kiss was not what I was expecting at all. I was all set for yelling, lectures, more punishment, but instead, I got a kiss that moved the freaking planet. It was a real, honest to goodness kiss. He felt so good. My insides were burning. I'm sure if Luke hadn't shown up, things would have got really hot.

Last night, I barely slept. I kept running fingers over my lips because I could still feel still feel his lips on mine. I felt his hand slide on my back. Felt the squeeze on my ass. My fingers remember his stubble on his chiseled jaw. The feel of his hard chest in my hand, oh my god. His hair was so soft and perfect. Every nerve ending tingles as I soak in every little detail of that kiss on the gym floor, including the hardness in his pants. I sure as heck didn’t miss that. How could you?

Even though I didn't sleep a wink, I'm on cloud freaking nine as I make my way to Jayson’s office. Nothing’s bringing me down today. My heart skips beats at the thought of seeing him again. Not even the punishment I'm sure to get in the next minute concerns me if it means I get to talk with the kissable Alpha.

I stand in front of Jayson's office door and quietly knock.

"It's open!" He barks from inside.

I open the door, peek my head in and see Jayson at his desk, pouring over paperwork.

"Hi!" I chirp, throw the door open and practically bounce across the floor.

He drops his pen on his paper and leans back in his chair. "Hey." He gives me a quick smile. "Have a seat." He motions to the chair in front of me.

I sit down and he comes around to the front of his desk, leaning on it with his hands on the edge as he crosses his feet.

My eyes travel up and down, appreciating his hard, gorgeous body. I feel my insides start to heat.

"You know we have to talk about last night, right." He arches a brow.

"Yeah. I guess we do." I grin.

He grabs a chair and pulls it in front of mine. He sits down and leans on his knees, tapping his fingertips together like he’s trying to find the next words.

"Um. So, first. I just want to say that kiss was amazing. I won't lie and I won't take it back. I have zero regrets kissing you." He looked me in the eyes. "And judging from the way you kissed me back, you I feel like you wanted it, too." He lowers his head and laces his fingers together.

"Yes." I said nervously, twisting my fingers together as I stare at the top of his head. Why is this feeling so weird? I watch his body language change like he’s pulling away or something.

He sighs. "As sweet as that kiss was, I think we should just keep it at that." He raises an eye to me.

Wait what? That's not what I want at all. What’s he saying? "Why?" I search his face for answers as I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

He sits up, rubs his palms on his jeans and presses his lips together. "Because, Sarah. Neither of us are where we should be. I'll admit, I felt something. But, Sarah, I'm not there yet and neither are you."

As his words start to register, a lump forms in my throat. "I want to be." I choke.

"I realize that, but you still have a lot of growing up to do and I still have my own shit to deal with. I can't get romantically involved right now." He scrubs his face, looks around the room then finds my eyes.

I could feel tears sting my eyes. He’s serious. "Yeah. Ok." I break my gaze and play with my shirt.

He leans down to see my face. "That doesn't mean I won't train you or dance with you. We'll just be friends, ok? We shared a kiss, Sarah. It was great, but it can't go farther than that."

A tiny tear falls from my eye and I wipe it away quickly. "Ok.” I look everywhere else but at him. “Um... Am I done here?"

"Sarah. Please. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I just think we need to back up a bit. Cool it off. Just for now."

The air in the room was suffocating. I wanted to scream. The cloud I was on was destroyed.

"Can I go?" I don't respond to his plea.

He sits back. "Yeah. Get to practice."

I get up and walk to his door. Grabbing for the knob, I stop and turn back.

"I just wanna say, you may not be there yet..." I swallow as I try to stop my breath from hitching. "But for the record... I totally am." I spin around, walk out and slam the door.

I was halfway down the hallway when the tears slowly came. They fell down my cheeks as I hear him say I’m not old enough for him. I chuckle at myself for being so stupid that the Alpha could really be interested in a kid like me.

I push open the door to the outside just as Luke was walking in. He sees my face and grows concerned. "Hey, kid. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I mumble and push past him.

The weight on my chest is immense. I feel a tiny crack in my heart beginning to grow. It was over before it even started.

I wish I wasn't the way I am, but I know I can't change, and right now, I'm sick of people telling me I have to. I'm sick of all of this.

This is who I am and if he doesn't like it. Fine.

****

I was laying on my bed when Ash walked in.

"Hey, girl. You left practice early. What's up?" She sat on my bed.

"Nothing. Just wasn't feeling it." I pull out my earbuds as they play music that should help this, but it doesn’t.

"What's wrong?" She pries.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I lean back on the wall as Jayson’s words roll over my heart like a steamroller.

She puts a hand on my leg. "You're not fine. I can tell. What happened?"

I sit up. "Nothing. I'm just stupid."

She looked confused. "Why would you say that?"

Like a dam burst wide open, I told her everything. The dancing, the meditation in the woods, the basketball game, the kiss, everything.

"What a jerk!" She scowls as she crosses her arms.

"Yeah." I mumble as I play with my blanket.

"Well, we're just going to have to prove to him how much of a woman you are." She stands up and walks to her closet. She opens it and starts rifling through the hangers. "Friday night, you're wearing this."

She holds up a short white dress. "We'll see how long he resists." She grins a mischievous grin.

"I'll think about it. I'm not sure if I'll be up for going to the bar." I flop back down on my bed.

She grabs my arm and pulls me up. "Ok. Think about it. In the meantime, let's go get some food."

"Ok." She grabs my hand, pulls me off my bed and we leave for the dining hall.

****

"Want me to punch him out for you?” Sean was sitting next to Ash when the conversation turned to me and why I was so miserable.

"No, Sean. That would be dumb. He's an Alpha." I tilt my head to him.

"Hey. The asshole's got to pay for hurting my sister like that." Shane punched his palm.

"Shane, he'd kill you." I scoff.

"I could take him." He growls before shoving food in his mouth.

I wave him off and shove a forkful of chicken in my mouth.

My chewing slows as I feel him coming up the aisle from behind me. I could feel his eyes on my back. I'm not looking, but everyone else at the table follows him all the way to his seat.

Hayden leans over. "Hey, my brother dropped off some bottles yesterday. We can all kick back with a few drinks."

"I know a place in the woods we can go." I offer.

Sean leans back. "Cool. It's a full moon tonight. We'll drink, curse and howl until that asshole doesn't hurt anymore." He grabs my hand, giving a little smile. "Would you like that?"

I smile back. "Yeah, I would."

"Come Friday, we'll go to the bar and make him wish he never said no to you." Ash adds as she arches a brow.

I smile then turn back to my plate. I raise my eyes catch Jayson's eyes. I quickly turn away.

I'm going to forget that kiss ever happened even if it kills me.

****

The moon is full and high, but the trees are so thick, the light does little to light the path I’m leading my friends down. The six of us are traipsing through the woods looking for a clearing I found on a run.

Ash starts whining. "Where is it, Sarah? My feet hurt."

"Not much farther." I whisper.

"These bottles are heavy. Hurry up." Hayden grunts.

"It's here!" I yell under my breath. I breach the trees to a large clearing with a giant, almost square shaped, boulder in the center of it.

We all run in and Shane starts grabbing some kindling. "I'll get a fire going."

Sean drops his bag. "I've got the tunes." He sets up a Bluetooth speaker and turns on music from his phone.

Hayden drops his duffle. "Ok. What do you guys want. My brother went all out."

"Wine for me!" Ash chirps.

He tosses her a white wine bottle.

"Whiskey!" I shout.

Hayden hands me a bottle of Jack.

Georgia saunters over. "Got any vodka?"

Hayden pulls out a bottle. "Sure do."

We all get our bottles and start drinking from them. A couple of hours later, we're all pretty buzzed, dancing and laughing around the fire.

"Sarah!" Sean calls my name and I look up. He's on top of the boulder. "Come up and sit with me."

I stagger over and find the footings that get me up. He grabs my hand to help me the rest of the way.

"Ok. I want you to howl that jerk away." He smiles.

"What? That's dumb." I tucked my hair behind my ear.

"No, it's not. Just try. It works for me when I get dumped. Just let it out." He grabs my hands.

I take a deep breath, let out a big howl Sean joins in.

"Feel good?" He grins.

"Yeah. It actually does." I chuckle.

I howl again and everyone else does, too.

We all burst into hysterics as Sean and I sit down, side by side.

"You know. That stupid Alpha doesn't know what he's missing." He mumbles before tipping his bottle of scotch back.

I look at him as the songs filling the clearing are soft, slow love songs.

Georgia and Shane are sitting by the fire talking. Hayden and Ash are making out.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You're beautiful, Sarah. Any guy would be damn lucky to even have you. To just toss you away like that, he's fucking stupid. You deserve better." He takes a swig of his bottle.

"I don't know. Maybe he's right. It's probably better I don't get involved with him. We're two totally different people." I drink my bottle.

"Right. So, forget his dumb ass and give someone else a shot." He turns his head to me.

I turn my head to him. "Like who?" I'm curious, but I feel little nervous.

"Like me?" He says quietly as his eyes lock with mine. He shrugs. "I know I'm not an Alpha or anything, but I know you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen."

He slowly moves his hand behind my head and threads his fingers into my hair. I let go of a shaky breath as he leans in and softly puts his lips on mine. He asks for entrance and my lips part. Our tongues intertwine and dance together. It wasn't as good as kissing Jayson, but it was still a very spectacular kiss. Of course, it could be the large amount of alcohol talking.

I place my hand on Sean's cheek, melting into him. Setting my bottle down on the rock with Sean's. I wrap my arms around him.

He holds my waist and pulls me closer.

We come up for air and he runs the back of his fingers across my bottom lip and cheek. He smiles. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

"Really?" My cheeks flush. I feel like a grade school girl.

He nods, biting his lip. "I'd like to kiss you more if you'll have me."

"I..." I start to respond, but the music was killed.

We all turn to see three very angry Alphas standing in the clearing. Everyone is completely frozen in shock.

Jayson crosses his arm as he flanked by Cass and Wren. He furrows his brow as he scans the area. "Busted." He growls then points to the path. "March."

Sean and I jump from the boulder and join the rest in a line. Grabbing our bags as we all sheepishly walk by the glaring eyes.

Once back at the complex, he lines us up. We're all drunk, swaying on our feet. I look at him and drop my head.

"I'm pretty sure I know whose idea this was. Sneaking out and having drinking parties on the property are strictly against regulations. All of you will have an hour of suicides after practice for the next week. You'll also clean up the mess you made. You know who to thank. Get back to your rooms." Jayson was angry, but I'm pretty sure if he saw what I think he saw, he's not angry at the party.

Sean turns to me and says goodnight. I say the same.

I start to leave, but Jayson stops me. "I know what you're doing and it's not going to work." He narrows his eyes at me.

I glare at him. "What? Trying to forget you? It's working perfectly. Good night."

I walk away, but before I do, I see his face change slightly. I'm not sure what it was I saw, but it almost looks like I hurt him a bit.

I'm not going to play the jealousy game with him. If he doesn't want to start anything, I'll start something with Sean. Why not? He's hot. Strong. A great kisser. He may not be Jayson, but at least he wants me for me and doesn't want me to change for him.

I won't change for Jayson. If he wants me, he'll be the one doing the changing.