The Experiment of Tony Blair

Evila kept her head down as the academy police directed her through the social lounge of -A- Deck. She closed her eyes tightly and listened to all the whisperings of her peers gathered in the massive hall. They were talking about her now; they were calling her a criminal and a thief. She wished she could explain the whole ordeal to them. She wished she could just freeze time and let them know that she had done it all for a good cause. That she had done it for them.

Someone in the crowd called out to her. His tone was harsh and unforgiving. “Hey, Evila. Way to dishonor our race!”

Evila looked up slowly. Tears began to stream down her slender face as she spotted all her friends in the crowd. They looked at her with mixed expressions. Some were sad, others confused, but the majority of them were disappointed. The smartest girl in school had just done something mind blowing. She could almost hear them thinking, “What did Evila do? There has to be an explanation.”

Evila wanted to answer all their silent questions, and yet, she knew deep down inside her hearts that they wouldn’t believe her. The theory of super species had never really been proven until recently in her room with Tony. Humans had always died during the testing phase. After a millennium of other scientists trying everything to get it right, they finally gave up. They said it was impossible to use a subspecies, such as a human being, to save their dwindling race from extinction. They would have to find an alternate way to save their people from extinction.

But we don’t have to now, thought Evila suddenly. Humans are our answer for the future! We can merge our species with them and take there breading traits to survive. My formula and testing have proven that well enough with Tone’i. He has been given all the good qualities of our race and still has kept some of his own. I designed my formula that way. The human genes will be able to dilute and obliterate the extinction rate in our spe-cies. I’ll show Dean Redder that I’ve solved our problem; and he’ll understand. He’ll pardon me and let me go.

I’ll be a hero!

Evila closed her eyes at that moment and thought about Tone’i. She wanted to tell him so badly why his hearts were acting up like they were. She wanted to be the one who explained their races’ culture, and differences; but what she wanted most of all was to be close to him again. Oh, how she wanted to be close to him again. She wanted to smell his sweet, almost ambionic fragrance. She wanted to feel the rhythm of his infatuated hearts as they jumped in his broad chest. They were, after all, beating for her in everyway poss-ible. He just didn’t recognize it yet.

Evila came out of her pleasant daydreaming and looked around. She felt almost empty inside as reality kicked in around her. She wanted to be with her soulmate again! She wanted to tell him everything there was to know about life as a Tenatian man. She wanted to tell him that they were meant to be together.

“I will see you soon, Tone’i, after everything is cleared up!” she said under her breath. “I’ll see you then.”

The whispering of the crowd faded as they left the social lounge and walked down the long hallway to the high powered elevators. When they got to the elevators, the off-icer to Evila’s right pushed the red button and waited for the lift to open. When the doors opened they walked inside. Music was blaring from the speakers. Evila watched as one of the officers pulled out a key card and slipped it into the lift’s computer interface. The music stopped suddenly, a robotic voice came on over the loudspeaker.

“Identify yourself,” exclaimed the voice.

The officer to Evila’s left spoke up. “This is space officer 019TZ, we have the prisoner that Dean Redder wants to see. We request that you take us to him.”

There was a pause for a minute, and then the robotic voice spoke up. “Request granted. Have a nice day, officer 019TZ.”

The officer chuckled. It was weird for him to hear the ship’s central A.I. network say something so nice to him. He hated the new upgrades the ship was undergoing. The Dean wanted everything more polite and happy.

“Will do, E.Z.Z.A.,” said the officer coyly to the speaker.

The doors to the elevator closed suddenly. Evila jumped as the steel slammed together in front of her. She tensed her legs as the lift began to move upward. It started picking up speed as they went. Just as it was about to reach 50 kph, it slowed down and changed directions. Evila braced herself on the officers as it shifted and sped up. It was moving in a horizontal motion now. The magnetic tracks it followed began to whistle slightly through the cracks of the hull.

The officer to Evila’s left spoke up.

“Hey, Rick, did you catch the game last night?”

Rick shook his head. “No, I was filling out reports all last night, some bozo on -D- Deck thought it would be cute to jump into the sun fountain naked. I wanted to rip his ears off. I was so mad!”

The other officer chuckled at this. “You missed out! It was amazing! Gorni must have scored eight goals, pushing the Neutron Stars to victory! He was practically playing in the other team’s plasma net all night. It certainly was something to see!”

Rick turned to his companion, his face filled with surprise and dread. Gorni was a very good neodymium player, one of the best that the space academy had ever seen. He had taken home two gold titles and a luster world cup. However, he wasn’t on the team Rick was rooting for.

“You’re freaking kidding me! Who did they get to be goalkeeper for the Black Holes? Tell me it was someone good.”

“Mir’o Snito,” said the other officer with a smooth smile.

Rick looked like he had just been stabbed in the hearts by a laser beam. He got a little louder as he spoke. “The rookie? They got the rookie to be the goalkeeper. He’s a horrible player! Didn’t they want to win?”

The other officer grinned. “Apparently not! But you know what that means, Rick? It means there are going to be a lot of disappointed people at the department tonight. Everyone was rooting for the Black Holes to win and, well, they just couldn’t put out! It’s sad, really.”

Rick tightened his grip on Evila’s arm and let out a stream of curse words. Evila looked over to him with shock. He was very, very upset. She guessed he had bet a lot of money on the game. Most Tenatian males did this when it came to neodymium ball. It was ‘the game’ to place bets on.

“How much money did you lose?” asked Evila.

Rick looked over to her. Frustration was radiating from his green features. He looked almost exhausted, “I didn’t lose any money I… I….”

Rick got quiet. An awkward silence fell over the elevator as he stared into space. He started mumbling to himself. After a minute his companion spoke up.

“Come on, Rick, tell the nice lady here know what you wagered.”

Rick let out a big sigh and looked away. Evila could feel his reluctance. He finally spoke up. His tone was very sober. “I promised my wife that if the Neutron Stars beat the Black Holes I would go to her family reunion this week. I thought I had it, the Neutrons were behind all season. I mean one of their lead players died from a head injury! Those neodymium balls can get moving pretty fast when it comes down to it. I mean the man was practically hemorrhaging all over the place.”

Evila looked surprised. It was a weird thing to wager on a game. “Why would you be mad at that? Family reunions are fun! I have always loved them. There’s always a lot of good food to eat, not to mention great company!”

Rick rolled his eyes; it was obvious that Evila had never been to one of his wife’s family reunions. It was like stepping into an asteroid belt with your shield off. It wasn’t pleasant; someone always got hurt.

“Believe me, young lady; you wouldn’t want to go to this reunion. My mother-in-law is a monster. She’s certifiably crazy. Every time I see her she asks me the same thing. It drives me crazy. She says, ‘RICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO SUPPORT MY LITTLE GIRL? YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DROPPED OUT OF MED SCHOOL! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING IN LIFE! LOOK AT YOU; YOU LOOK LIKE A MESS! WHO BAUGHT YOUR CLOTHES!?’”

Rick’s companion started laughing hysterically. His chest was shacking up and down now, “I love it when you imitate the old space bag, Rick. It’s so funny! Heck, Your family situation is freaken funny.”

Evila chuckled a little too; Rick did sound funny.

“Yeah, laugh it up while you can, but when I walk through those doors in a few days, I’m going to be praying hard that something happens to that old space bag. Like she chokes on a finger snack or maybe even gets hit by a meteor or something. I can’t stand her! She is as pleasant to see as sand in the eyes!”

Evila was going to say something when the elevator suddenly stopped. The doors opened quickly, revealing a very long hallway. At the far end of the white corridor were two silver doors. Evila recognized the doors as being the portals to Dean Redder’s office. She was going where almost no student had gone before. She was going into the lion’s den to plead her case.

“All right, let’s get going!” said Rick as he moved forward.

Evila left the elevator with the space officers. They walked quickly down the hall to the doors. When they got to the doors the officer on Evila’s left pulled out his key card and ran it through the scanning pad. A loud buzzing noise was heard as the doors slid open. Evila was led into the office by the officers.

The room was very dark and quiet. The only light on was a small one overhead which illuminated the center of the room, and cast a giant circle on the ground. The smell of industrial carpet filled every corner of the dark office as they pressed forward. It was like she had stepped into a grim fairytale. The officers led Evila over to a massive desk resting at the far end of the room. Behind the desk was a dark leather swivel chair. It was facing the wall.

“Sir, we brought the trouble maker like you requested,” said Rick firmly. “What do you want us to do with her?”

Evila swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She hadn’t expected her encounter with the Dean of the academy to be in such a benighted atmosphere. She had pictured the meeting taking place in a bright office with windows. This clearly wasn’t the case. This was different.

A raspy voice spoke up from the other side of the chair. “Leave Evila here with me; and go report back to Detective Cuffers. I wish to speak to her alone. I need to know how much damage she has caused us.”

“Yes, sir,” said the officers in unison.

Evila watched as they let go of her arms and left the room. When they were gone the voice spoke up again.

“Evila, Evila, Evila. I have been monitoring you for some time now, and I must say that I am disappointed with the behavior that you have displayed this evening. You were one of our brightest students. What happened?”

Evila shifted on her feet nervously. Her hearts were pounding like two hammers on a drum. “Sir, I assure you this can all be explained. I did what I did to help our home planet. I did what I did to help our race survive the extinction that is slowly taking us out of the universe. There is a good motive behind it all!”

The room got still for a minute. Evila’s words seemed to hang in the air like a cool mist. The leather chair turned around slowly. Evila watched as the Deans face came into view. She was shocked when she saw his rough visage. He had bright red hair and pale green skin! It was an evolutionary trait that happened only once every one million years for their race. It meant a progression in their species, and was highly regarded by the most learned of the academy. The Dean had landed the genetics for it. He had been one of the chosen ones to lead the academy.

“I certainly hope there is a good motive behind it, young lady. Tell me what you have done. I need to know the damages,” said Dean Redder firmly.

Evila stepped forward a bit.

“I was successful with the formula I made! Yes, I might have stolen a human from the cloning lab, and yes, I stunned professor Denvil. But, it was all for a good cause. I actually merged our species successfully with that of a human specimen, something that couldn’t be done for over a million years. I did it in my room thirty minutes ago. I arrang-ed the formula so that all of our good traits would remain. We have officially received the breading rights of the humans. We just need to run a few more tests and that’s it. All of our extinction problems are over; isn’t that great?”

The Dean looked solemn. His face didn’t seem to convey the same excitement that Evila felt. He finally spoke up. “How many people saw you merge this human with our species?”

Evila paused. She lifted a hand to her mouth and thought for a second. “Only me, sir, I was the only one who saw the transformation. But I could do it again if you give me another human to work with. I can show you that my formula works. All of our problems are solved. Isn’t that great?”

The Dean let out a low groan. He sounded like he was in discomfort. Evila was amazed that he still wasn’t just as excited as she was. She had made the discovery of a lifetime and there was no response from the red-headed man.

“Sir, if this is about stealing and shocking my professor I am sorry, but think of the good that will come from it. Isn’t it great that we can survive by using the humans? We don’t have to kill them off anymore, like we have been doing. They’re the answer for the future. We can just change them and use their best qualities. They will help our race,” said Evila enthusiastically.

The Dean looked away from her. He spoke. “The issue is not about stealing or stunning a faculty worker. It’s about the ethics of it all, Evila. We must not do what you have said. It would be an abomination to our species to merge our blood with the hairless monkeys. I hope you can understand this. We just can’t do it!”

Evila was shocked; the Dean sounded just like Professor Denvil.

“Sir, this is the only way for us to survive the coming years. The humans are better at reproducing than us. You know that! If we merge with them it will only help improve our bloodline. They’re the hope we need. They’re our future!”

Dean Redder grumbled a few words under his breath. She could tell that he was disagreeing with the whole idea. Evila continued; her voice was getting more emotional and firm, “You know as well as I do, Dean Redder, that it takes a Tenati woman, such as myself, two thousand years to give birth to a child of our race. By the time that child is born five of our people have died. Tell me why—”

Evila was cut off quickly by the Dean’s coarse voice, “I KNOW THE FACTS OF LIFE, EVILA; DON’T GET PREACHY WITH ME YOUNG LADY! I KNOW WHAT PLAGUES US AT THE MOMENT. I KNOW WHAT OUR GOVERNMENT COUN-CILS ARE AFRAID OF. I HEARD IT EVERY DAY WHEN I SAT ON THE BOARD BACK AT HOME; AND I SAY THERE IS A BETTER WAY THAN USING THIS SUBSPECIES! HUMANS ARE NOTHING. THEY’RE LOWER THAN NOTHING. THEY’RE DIRT AND I WON’T SHARE BLOOD WITH DIRT!”

Dean Redder stood up quickly and pounded his fist hard on the stainless steel desk in front of him. Evila jumped as the steel structure crumpled loudly from the abuse. She stared, absolutely mortified by the angry man’s behavior. He was acting completely irrational and violent. She wished she could flee the room.

“I don’t want your success getting out Evila. It would be an abomination to every-thing we hold dear. If we have to go extinct we go extinct with honor. Now tell me where you put this human you changed. Do the authorities have him in their custody? He must not be allowed to tell his story in any way!” The Dean walked slowly around the ruins of his desk. His eyes were burning now with an evil determination. Evila stepped back as he approached her.

“You stay away from me! I’ll scream!” said Evila.

The Dean smiled at her worthless threat. He knew the walls to his office were completely soundproof. There was no way anyone from the outside could hear their conversation. He spoke up, this time getting a little more rigid.

“Did you know Evila that there were others that have discovered your formula? You were not the only scientist to come to this conclusion. Oh no! There were others who did as well. Do you know what happened to them, Evila? Do you?”

Evila’s breathing became heavy; tears started welling up in her eyes. She retreated further. “You killed them, didn’t you?”

The Dean laughed.

“Yes, I did. I killed them because I couldn’t let this abomination take place. So long as I breathe air, we will never mix our species with the humans. Why do you think we have been going around the Andromeda Galaxy destroying the humans with their own animals? We can’t let them live any longer! They are practically an abomination to nature. We can’t risk having them experimented on like you have done! It would prove the end to our culture and way of life.”

Evila shook her head. She didn’t want to hear it. The Dean was going around the universe destroying their only hope for survival. Everything she had worked so hard to accomplish was about to go down the drain.

“You can’t do this. You’ll kill us all! We need the humans!” yelled Evila.

The Dean laughed. “We don’t need them, Evila. There’s only one planet of theirs left in the Milky Way Galaxy, and in a few hours it’s going to be gassed with professor Denvil’s animal-altering spray. You know what I’ll do when that happens? I’ll sit up here in my office and laugh as I watch the hairless monkeys run for their lives. I’ll watch until every last human is devoured by the creatures of their own planet.”

Evila felt sick. The Dean was completely mad. “You can’t do this. What about the Tenatian Embassy? They won’t stand for your insubordination! You’ll sentence our race to death. We need the humans! We can’t survive without them!”

Another voice suddenly spoke up from the corner.

“Oh, yes, we can, Evila! Just watch us!”

Evila took her eyes off the red-headed Dean and looked across the room. From the shadows emerged a familiar figure. It was Professor Denvil. He had been listening to their whole conversation.

“Why are you here?” demanded Evila.

“I am here to make sure your success doesn’t get out. If the space faculty ever found out what you did there would be rioting and protesting. We need to exterminate you and Tony Blair for good. It’s the only way to silence this problem. No evidence can remain.”

Evila was shocked; they were going to kill her and Tone’i. She would never get to tell him how she felt. She would never get to be with him. Dean Redder was smiling now, his sharp teeth jutted from his lips as he did this.

“We are only missing one thing in this meeting Evila. And that is the human you contaminated with your blood. I want him brought up here. I want to question him and see who he has talked to, and then I want the both of you taken to Deck -X- and exter-minated.” He signaled for Denvil to grab Evila.

Professor Denvil started to walk toward her, pulling out some metal pacifying bonds. “I have a present for you, Evi.”

“You stay away from me!”

Dean Redder pulled out his circular communicator and dialed detective Cuffer’s extension. No doubt the detective would have the human in his custody. He would just ask him to bring the abomination up.

The speaker rang….