The Desolate

The following morning, I felt as relaxed and calm as I’d felt in a very long time, a rare occurrence, and one I could easily get used to, especially after three days in a row just like it. Ashe’s head was still resting on my chest, with both of us having slept on the front porch of Henry’s family home. It was cold like the desert nights which was a pleasant change from the usual heat, but a few blankets and the warmth of a beautiful woman had been more than enough. It was an evening where my anxieties and paranoia did not rear up at any point, at least in any substantial way except the thought in the back of my mind that things were too good to be true. And the comfort was something that I didn’t want to get too familiar with, even if I was developing a degree of trust for Ashe, as well as Henry and his family I could not and would not let my guard down. My trust in Ashe was growing by that point, I had come to accept that there was a possibility of her stabbing me in the back if she wanted to, and honestly, if she did, then what would I have lost? I’d intended my own death soon enough anyway, and if she were to do that, then it would only solidify those thoughts once more in my mind. Still, her presence had given me a sense of hope and belief that I hadn’t known in a very long time, even if it did leave me vulnerable. But in truth, I didn’t mind it so much.

“Good morning,” Henry said calmly from a chair just a few meters away, sipping from the cup in his hand. The scent of hot coffee was unmistakable. Making my mouth water instantly.

“Good morning, Henry,” I said with a yawn, my stretching enough to stir Ashe awake, her eyes looking up at me though her head hadn’t moved from my chest.

She quickly took a moment to check herself, then sighed with relief adding, “Thank fuck that seems to be over for now.” She said. I made no comment about it, it's not something that had bothered me in the slightest anyway except for the obvious practical considerations. She then stretched loudly before cuddling back into my side, as if preparing to sleep more.

“That is definitely a relief, it will certainly make us less of a target for zombies.” I explained, “They have a particularly attuned sense of smell when it comes to blood.”

“Relief on more than one account then.” She sighed, her good mood unaffected and her smile infectious as she leaned up and kissed me on the lips. “We should head back this morning and check on the water, we probably need to filter more anyway before we go anywhere!”

“Yes ma’am,” I teased, matching her good humour. But she was right, we needed to begin considering our next move. Maybe take another day or two to make up our mind, there was certainly no rush.

I started to get up just as Charlotte came out with two warm cups of coffee and a friendly smile and said, “Before you two leave, you should have some breakfast. There’s no need to rush.”

I climbed to my feet slowly before accepting the coffee with a grateful nod and sipping it. Ashe did the same and scrunched her face at the taste, asking, “What is this?”

I had to admit it had been a few years since I tasted coffee myself, but the smell was very distinctive. Still, given how she had lived in recent years; it wasn’t a total surprise. “It’s coffee,” I answered, wondering out loud, “You’ve really never had coffee before?”

She made a face, thinking it over, then said, “No, I’m pretty sure I would know if I had!”

That got a laugh from Henry and Charlotte, who were now seated side by side on the chair quietly enjoying each other’s company in the early morning light. The sun was just peaking over the fence line and lighting up the front of the house. And after another moment of peace, Henry asked curiously, “So, where did you guys get coffee from in New Alice?”

I shrugged and said, “The trade network out there is extensive, there is a good chance you both get it from the same place. There are a few settlements to the east that grow it. It’s expensive, but then again, it’s worth the price, just like good whiskey.”

Henry nodded, “From what I hear it can be quite hard life out there. I can’t say I blame you for enjoying every luxury you can.”

I nodded, grateful for his understanding, before redirecting the conversation. “Does anyone grow coffee locally?”

“There is a gentleman in town that grows it in the hills near here, and there a couple of other settlements further east that grow it as well.” Henry explained, “The quality isn’t great, but beggars can’t be choosers. Still, it’s not so bad.”

The idea of well-established settlements in the area to the east was an interesting thought. I wondered exactly where remembering several small makeshift settlements in the mountains that I’d come across many years earlier. However well-established settlements in regions that could grow coffee were non-existent at the time. “Any idea where those settlements are based?”

Henry nodded, gesturing first to the southeast, and then almost directly east, “There are two we trade with regularly, but apparently there are a few others around as well that link into that network. One is near the ruins of Canberra, the old-world capital. I’ve been there once, it’s a nice place, based about two two-day walk south of the old city. It gets damn cold there though. The other we trade with is further south on the far side of the Murray River, it’s on the coast on the far side of the ruined city somewhere. I’ve not seen that one myself, but I hear there are a couple of places down there that are doing well for themselves. The foothills make for a good natural deterrent for the zombies, and being so close to the coast they get plenty of rain. With most of the raiders and slavers having long since cleared off out into the desert, I hear they do pretty well for themselves.”

The location sparked my interest. It remembered a large area of foothills and low-lying mountains. Prime agricultural land though the hills would make growing crops on mass tough. Still, it made sense since they would grow almost anything there. But none of that is what got my attention, instead, it was the proximity of the location to where my parents were from. "I've wanted to come this far south many years ago, but the path was often blocked by large herds of zombies migrating with the seasons, especially to the east. Then there was the flooding of the river apparently caused by several dams bursting some years back. How long ago did your people confirm it was still inhabited out there?”

“We had a trade caravan come through about six months ago!” Henry said, holding up his cup of coffee, “That’s where this lot came from. They usually come through with a truck about every nine months or so. God knows where they cross the river, but it works for them. We’ve got a radio connection in town with them, and our people touch base about once a month. They seem like good folks.”

I stared for a long moment, my mind turning over the possibilities.

Charlotte smiled and added, “They stayed with us here overnight, it was a lovely man and his wife. They seemed very nice. They were an older couple.”

“They were!” Henry agreed, “John I think was his name, but I can’t for the life of me remember hers.”

My father's name was John as well, but it was a common name, so I didn’t think anything more of it. As far as I knew, the man was dead. But the prospect of life in that part of the world excited that sense in me that had intended to travel to the south-east. And Henry’s information had only reignited that desire. Even if the thought of having Ashe with me, had become a concern, especially given how well we were set up they were here.

“What’s your plan going forward, Jack?” Henry asked a moment later, breaking me from my thoughts.

I considered the question for a moment. Looking at Ashe who stared back expectantly, “I really don’t know. I’ve been nomadic for a long time, and I’d planned to head southeast and find a place to spend whatever is left of my life. But now I just don’t know.”

“Ashe?” he asked, opening the question up to her.

She shrugged. “I want to eventually find somewhere nice to settle. I mean, I don’t mind the nomadic thing for now, but we can’t go on like this forever. I’d like a family someday, and that’s impossible to do on the road.”

Henry nodded, understanding her point. “It can be a very difficult life. I’m sure of that. And the idea of children growing up on the run from zombies and other people is no way to live.” They were right, of course. When it was just me, and I had only myself to feed and no real care for my own life, it worked just fine. But with Ashe seemingly not going anywhere and a desire growing inside me to have her stay, meant reassessing my own plans and making new ones. Or more accurately, it meant thinking about and making plans in the first place that considered more than just the next few weeks. I generally held only very loose goals in my life that simply got me from one day to the next. I turned the thought over in my mind sipping the hot coffee as I did. But I still had unfinished business that called to me. Not so much in terms of finding my own death, but I still needed to see that place again. To make sure they really were all dead, especially knowing there was still settlement out there somewhere.

Once we both finished our cup of coffee, I turned to Ashe and said, “There is one thing I need to do before we settle anywhere! But after that, we can decide on somewhere, anywhere you want.”

“Why don’t you settle here?” Henry suggested. “That farmhouse is in good shape, and we can help you get it set up properly. Put up some fencing and grow some crops, this area is getting greener each year. Or we can find you someplace a little closer to us, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Ashe shrugged, then turned to me and said, “It’s not a bad idea, Jack.”

“No, it’s not a bad idea at all, and if you want to stay here until I get back, I’ll understand,” I offered.

“You’re welcome to stay with us until then,” Charlotte said to Ashe warmly.

Ashe thought it over for a moment before her eyes met mine, and without giving it a second thought she shook her head, “I appreciate the offer, Charlotte, thank you.” she replied with a grateful smile before turning back to me, “I’m with Jack until the end, wherever that takes us.”

“Even after another eight hundred zombie-infested kilometers?” I asked, trying to be as transparent as possible with what lay ahead if she came along.

“Why only after that?” Ashe moved closer to me and smirked, before speaking so Henry and Charlotte couldn't hear her, “What is there after another eight hundred kilometers that you need to do or see?”

I looked down, trying to work out how best to explain the urge I had to see my childhood home one last time, to confirm there really was nothing left of it. The idea of a settlement near there gave me hope, and I knew that if I did not see it for myself, the thought would burn away in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. Hope, after all, was a dangerous and fleeting emotion that led to rash decisions and poor planning. Undoubtedly this was one of those moments for me. Being with Ashe these last few weeks had brought out a strong desire to at least try and find what was left of my family if anything at all, even if it meant finding nothing but ruins and bones. I hesitated, searching for the right words. “I suppose the best explanation is that I need to know what happened to my family. I need to see the ruins for myself, and not just trust that time and zombies had finished the job. Especially knowing how strong they were. Between my father, and Natalie…”

Her expression turned from concerned to empathetic in an instant, and she wrapped her arms around me. “I know I have said it already, and I’ll probably have to say it a thousand more times. But I’m with you until the end, Jack. You just need to talk to me, and we will work it out!”

I took in a deep breath and nodded once to her, placing an arm loosely around her shoulders.

“Come to think of it…” Henry interrupted, “I am pretty sure that woman’s name was Natalie.”

My head turned to him suddenly, and I felt Ashe’s hand gently touch my arm.

Henry smiled and gave me a small nod, “They were from a settlement just outside of an old-world town called Thornton.” Charlotte stood up and went inside, returning a moment later with a map of the continent, handing it to Henry. Ashe and I moved closer as he unfolded the map, pointing to the dot that marked the town. “You’ll want to avoid the city, but if you head inland, up to the mountains then double back south, you should get through. John said he usually drives the truck to Canberra first. I think the bridge is still intact in Albury, or somebody put together a pontoon over the river. But you guys might cross much further west, especially if you’re on foot and don't mind a short swim or wading through shallow water.”

“I don't know about the water, but thanks!” I said to Henry, “I doubt I can ever repay you.”

“I take it you have both come to a decision then?” Henry asked, offering an understanding nod to me before Ashe gave them both a hug.

“I think so,” I answered. “One last journey, then we will probably be back depending on what we find.”

Henry gave only a slight nod, his way of offering understanding without judgment. It seemed he disagreed with my decision, but he understood it and he wouldn't stop us. Charlotte just hugged Ashe and me, probably feeling the same as Henry, but she hurried inside to gather the freshly smoked meat into a bag and threw in a few additional supplies. When she returned, she handed the bag to Ashe and said warmly, “You two stay safe on the road and come back and visit any time, you’re always welcome here.”

Ashe almost started to cry at the woman’s kindness, wiping away a few stray tears before throwing her arms around Henry once more. “Thank you!”

It was still quite early when we said our final goodbyes to the McRea family, and the distant sight of rolling storms on the coast to the west put us both on high alert as we walked. It was going to be a big one when it hit, that was very clear, and it was heading our way. My concern of course was not the storm itself; the house would easily protect us from the wind and rain. Instead, it was the tendency for this kind of weather to instigate herd migration in zombies, and that might send them our way. The more I focused on the distant horizon, looking for any sign of large-scale movement, the more I became convinced that a large herd was in fact heading our way. The clouds were probably still a few hours away, but there were signs of rising dust in the distance that meant movement. And by the size of the cloud, there were probably thousands of them.

About an hour later, as we neared the now-familiar dirt road, we broke into a run heading towards the house. The wind had picked up, and lightning flickered in rapid succession to the west. The sound of thunder was continually rolling from one to the next. And to the west, fleeing the approaching storm, was indeed a large herd on the move, and it didn’t take long to work out that their path put them on a collision course with the farmhouse, and it meant we would likely have no more than a few minutes to secure the house when we arrived. “Zombies?” Ashe said half question half statement.

“A lot of them,” I answered as we ran. We could have headed back to the McRae’s and warned them, but I figured it wasn’t the first time they had dealt with a herd of this size, and the idea of being stuck outside in this weather might be just as dangerous as the flow of zombies. “Hurry; this storm is going to be wild!”

Once we reached the front porch, Ashe asked with urgency in her voice as she started gathering some of the condensation traps and moving them inside. “Is there enough time to fortify this place?”

I thought about it for a moment. The windows were mostly quite narrow, and the fence surrounding the house would likely filter most of them around us if they did not have the motivation to hang around. I answered urgently, “Maybe, but I think stealth will be our best chance.” Adding, “Help me get these windows covered over!”

She followed me inside as we emptied bookshelves and furniture, dragging them out onto the front porch, and placing them in front of the windows. Ashe rushed to the back of the house, returning a few minutes later with a slightly rusted old hammer and a glass jar full of assorted nails that had seen better days. We worked together getting the ground floor windows boarded up as best we could, finishing just as the first of the zombies came running across the nearby fields. They hadn’t seen us yet thankfully, and I hoped they would simply pass around us like a stone in a river.

“Plan?” Ashe asked, concerned.

“Upstairs! We can cut off the staircase if need be and get out of here from the roof.” My voice was urgent, as I led the two of us back into the house. We moved our bags and some of the water and food upstairs into the corner bedroom, then moved a heavy cabinet in front of the stairs to act as a final barrier. Before heading into the bedroom and closing the door and sitting down on the bed. We each took a moment to gather our bearings, taking in a few deep breaths to calm our own nerves. Waiting in complete silence as the storm approached, the wind growing stronger as the rain began to whip the side of the house. As the zombies fled the storm, a few of them took shelter around the porch, while most simply kept on running as the heavy rain and lightning grew into a monstrous storm over the next hour.

We sat in silence, waiting for something to go wrong, sitting on the bed next to each other in a heightened state of anxiety. Waiting for the storm and our unwelcome company to pass. Sleep was not forthcoming as the hours passed and the storm continued to rage outside turning the day into night beneath thick heavy black clouds. The sound seemed to unsettle our guests as much as us as lightning struck nearby on multiple occasions. The deafening crack of thunder made the zombies groan louder on the porch as if protesting at the storm. It was too risky for reading to Ashe because of the noise so that was out of the question, what started as several hours of being on high alert for the rest of the day eventually turned into a search for distraction. In our case, it was both needed and welcome as we found ourselves kissing and touching each other to get our minds off the danger we were in.

We both needed it, and it was about all we could do to pass the time. Ashe mounted my hips, which only further intensified the intimacy and urgency. I held her firmly, kissing her as I bit down on her shoulder to muffle the sound of our pleasure, while she buried her face into the crook of my neck. The first instance was quite awkward, and afterward, Ashe simply laid on top of me, as if holding me inside her body as her hands gently gripped my hair.

She giggled slightly to herself, whispering, “That was quite different!”

I instinctively checked her shoulder and kissed the spot where I had bitten her, noting the deep indentations in her skin. Looking up at her concerned, I whispered, “I’m sorry if I hurt you!”

She glared at me, then wrapped her arms tightly around me, moving her hips as if trying to reassure me. "You are someone I will never regret, Jack! Whatever else happens between us." Her movement gradually turned into another round, her movement reassuring me that there had been no regrets whatsoever.

Eventually, after several more hours, the rain let up, and the storm moved gradually moved on. The zombies began to disperse almost as soon as the rain stopped, they were in many ways, still quite human. Ashe and I were both far too tired to move by that time, so we simply waited for the night to pass and the zombies to distance themselves from the house falling asleep soon after, still naked and very much exhausted.