The Dawning of Fate

Double full moons cast luminous light onto the earth. The black sand beneath our feet sparkled like a sky full of stars. Tiny particles squish between my toes. Vast teal waters crash against the shore, creating a white line between us and what lies ahead. The air is charged with energy. I can almost feel the currents of electricity. The fresh salty smell of ocean water surrounds us. Hand in hand, we walk into the water, naked as the day we were born. I shiver slightly from the chilly contact. The waters are calm, allowing us to drift through with ease.

“Are you ready?” he asks me softly.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I respond and he nods, brushing his finger across my cheek.

“Tonight we bathe under the light of the Mother and Father,” Zan announces once we’re far enough from the shore. Slowly, he guides me so that I am floating on my back. I stare into his eyes, seeing the water’s reflection staring back at me.

“Tonight we release all that we were to become all that we must be,” I recite the vow. Zan floats onto his back beside me and places his hand in mine.

“In this water, I bare my soul,” he whispers.

“And trust that you, my al sisi, will accept me in all that I am,” I finish. The water laps at my dark skin as I stare up at the moons. I know we are supposed to reveal our innermost secrets, our darkest truths. The air is still, waiting. I’ll admit that I’m nervous, not sure what to expect.

“I am afraid,” Zan says softly, taking the leap.

“Of what?” I can’t imagine Zan afraid of anything.

“This bond with you. It makes me feel such profound emotions. I do not have control over them and that scares me. I was trained all my life to keep my feelings in check because they could compromise me in battle, but this is a battle all on its own,” he explains with a sigh of relief.

“Emotions aren’t meant to be stuffed in a box. We are meant to feel them, experience them. You’re fighting a battle that you can not win. Allow yourself to feel Zan and you might find that it isn’t all bad.” It is true and I should know. For years I pretended that my parents disowning me didn’t matter, but it did, and once I finally accepted that, I was able to move on.

There is a long pause as we float in the water.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I finally say. Before he can ask, I continue. “Most of the time I act as if everything is alright and that I have it all figured out but I don’t. I’ve been stumbling through life since I was a teenager. I always jump in headfirst but never stay consistent at anything. Hell, it’s a miracle I got through college,” I laugh sadly. “But I don’t want to stumble through this Zan. I want to get it right and I’m scared I’m going to fuck it up.”

He squeezes my hand and I can feel wetness running down my cheeks but it isn’t from the ocean. “You will not fuhk it up, Echo. Before, you were alone. Now, you have me and we will do this together. As you said, the past is no more. If you make a mistake, I will be there and if I make a mistake, you will be there. We’re partners now.”

“Okay,” I say with a weak laugh at his pronunciation of ‘fuck’.

And so we lay ourselves out, open and vulnerable. Trusting that the other will receive and hold our secrets with care. Because what is a bond without trust? If we didn’t complete this ritual, the others would be pointless. Not only are we accepting the bond but above that, we are accepting ourselves, the flaws, and all. I now realize that the rituals are reinforcing the strength of our connection by forcing us to face the truths behind the smoke and mirrors. The truth ritual forces us to punch a hole in our defenses and trust that together we can rebuild, not only ourselves but each other.

“There is darkness inside me,” Zan suddenly says.

“Why do you say that?” I ask softly.

“I’ve taken lives, I’ve committed crimes to survive, and I’ve turned my back on those who were in need. I am not worthy of this bond that we share but I’m too selfish to let you go.”

A small blush tints my cheeks. “Then be selfish because I don’t want you to let me go. I did not know the man you were then but I know the man you are now. You are worthy, otherwise, Matu wouldn’t have granted us this gift. There is darkness within all of us and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Your darkness may be different from mine but that doesn’t mean that mine doesn’t exist. But darkness can not exist without light. You have to find the light within yourself Azandum.”

“I do not know how,” he whispers.

“Then I will help you,” I promise. And I will. I do not know how but I will try because Zan has given me more than I could ever ask for. He’s been there for me and I want to be there for him.

We’d been floating easily for the most part but suddenly a wave rocks the water and with it, something inside me locks into place. Something solid but not tangible, like a tether linking the two of us together.

Zan glides upright slowly and brings me with him. “Did you feel that?”

I nod. “What was it?”

He floats closer to me and lifts me into his arms, my legs wrap around him. “The bond. After each ritual, I think it gets stronger.” That makes sense but what will that be like once we’ve completed all of them?

The moonlight dances on his purple flesh. I trace my fingers across his battle scars, gently caressing his skin. He’s been through so much yet he remains strong. My lips press against his as my fingers become tangled in his wet tresses. The water surrounding us heats up and I know that it’s coming from Zan’s body. Large hands grip my rear, pressing our bodies closer.

“You’re beautiful,” I whisper to him once I release his lips. Our foreheads rest against one another. “Everything about you is beautiful.”

“Thank you,” he accepts and I smile because it’s a step. It’s a step towards Zan believing that he is more than the warrior slave that was forced to survive all those years ago.

“Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“I packed some bowls of soup. I thought maybe we could eat out here tonight,” I voice softly, playing with the hairs at his nape.

“I’d like that very much.” He carries me back to the shore and sets me on my feet while he dries me off. Then he does the same to himself before laying the fur on the ground and motioning for me to sit. I do.

Zan brings the two bowls and we sit facing each other as we eat. The silence that settles over isn’t unpleasant. We share subtle smiles and small laughs. It’s companionable and...nice. There are no expectations for what each of us should or shouldn’t do, no need to put on a performance. It is just us and that’s all it ever has to be.

Once we’ve finished eating, Zan switches positions so that I’m resting with my back against his chest. I stare at the ocean waves with my fingers digging into the sand. Zan traces small circles across my stomach. My life has changed so much in just a short amount of time. Being abducted? Yea, it makes you feel small. Not in size, no. Just small and insignificant compared to the vast universe out there. But Zan, he helps. He makes me feel important and I appreciate that to no end.

I suddenly got a strange idea. “I want to try something, okay? I read it in a novel once and well I never thought I’d get the chance to try something like this out.” I feel him nod behind me. This is going to be really embarrassing if it doesn't work.

I close my eyes and think about what I felt when we were back in the ocean. I imagine the tether I felt secure its place between us. In my mind’s eye, I form a picture of what I believe our bond would look like. For some reason, a twisted cord comes to mind and I just roll with it. I try to follow that cord. I don’t know what I’m hoping for here but then I see something. It looks like a wall of flames. Hesitantly, I move forward. Instead of burning me, the fire wraps around my wrist but my hand comes in contact with a barrier. Zan’s breath hitches and my eyes fly open. I sit up and look at him.

“What did you just do?”

“I-Well, I’m not exactly sure. I just imagined what our bond would look like physically and followed it. Did you feel something?”

“I felt whatever you did. It was faint like a tap against a door in my mind.”

Interesting. “Could you try it with me?”

He closes his eyes and I wait patiently. For a while there’s nothing but suddenly there’s a soothing sensation almost pushing at the back of my mind. I smile because I recognize that feeling. It’s the same sensation I felt when I touched the dragon in the meadow. He opens his eyes, seeming as surprised as I was.

“What did my wall look like?”

“It was a storm. And mine?”

“Fire.” At this, he laughs. “Do you think the walls will come down once we complete the rituals?”

“Or we’ll be able to walk through the barrier. I have no idea but I can say that I’m intrigued,” he adds with a smile. Who knows what we’ll be able to do and I’m excited to find out.