The Dance of Wolves

I feel like I’ve finally exhaled as if I were holding my breath my whole life for this moment. A heat like I’ve never felt before radiates throughout my body as the realization flares through me, he’s not ’straight’. I may have a chance to win his heart. This isn’t a mistake at all, it’s destiny. I can’t contain my smile. Inside me, Demi is running a victory lap and howling to the sky as a fraction of my elation leaks out.

“I can’t wait to tell your mother!” Aksal’s father pauses to send his mate a thought-link. “Your mother expects you both at dinner tonight at six and she says you’re relieved of your duties for the Gathering and she’ll find your replacement. You two need some alone time and I agree.” He ruffles Aksal’s head affectionately and walks off with a bounce in his step.

Aksal turns to me with a frown. “You didn’t have to lie to him, I would have come up with something eventually--”

“I’m not lying. Why would I?”

“But, last night you made it sound like…Oh! Did you think you would be rejected because we’re both guys?” My mate is clever, he deduced it in a matter of seconds.

I kiss him in response. I don’t force my tongue down his throat in mock passion or anything. I stroke his chin lightly, lifting it up and gently brush his bottom lip, then the upper one with my own. I savor his taste on my tongue. My heart beats through my chest like a drum and he’s close enough to feel it. I want to convey my truth sincerely from my mouth to his.

When I release him, his lips are swollen and still parted slightly while his face and neck are flushed. His eyes are bright but unfocused and his expression is one filled with longing for more. It’s adorable, innocent, and sexy all at once. He shakes his head as if he’s trying to wake up and looks down at his feet.

“I like you, Aksal and I want to know more about you. I’d love it if you liked me too. I want you, not because my wolf recognizes yours as his mate but because you are my mate. I didn’t think I had a chance before, but now that I know you’d be open to loving someone regardless of their gender--uh, what I mean to say is, won’t you accept me as your mate? I’ll treat you well.”

“Okay,” he shrugged with his response, still not looking at me. I expected a bigger reaction. Does he really mean it? I can’t read him at all. He takes off his gloves and apron and lays them over the wheelbarrow. “Let’s put this back for now. It’s already a quarter past five.”

***

Dinner at Aksal’s house is fun. His parents are welcoming and easy to charm. When I told them I was an orphan and the pack raised me, they said I was welcome to call them Mom and Dad. I’m touched by their earnestness, being raised among four different households, I was encouraged to call my guardians by their name, so I never really felt like I had my own parents just for myself. Later, Aksal’s mom shared stories about his childhood as I helped her with the dishes. When we finish cleaning, I excuse myself to follow him to his room.

His room has much more personality than his office. There are posters of musicians on his walls, crates of comics and anime, books, and more plants, of course.

Aksal sits down at his desk and I sit on the bed and cross my legs leisurely. “You were pretty quiet during dinner, is there anything amiss?” He is sitting up straight and his posture is stiff, though he is just casually rolling a ball under his palm. I want to touch him. and I want to ease the tension from his shoulders, but I don’t want to invade his personal space and make him uncomfortable.

“No. I guess I’m just going with the flow of things and processing,” he seems pensive, still focusing on the ball, his desk, and nothing else.

“Care to tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“The kiss earlier…” His voice trails off and he frowns slightly looking for the right words.

“I’m not going to apologize. As mates, we’ll be doing much more than that when we mark each other--”

His face, neck, and ears are flush with color in an instant and I can feel the heat waves from his body. It’s not just embarrassment, though; there is an undercurrent of arousal in his scent.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t feel the mate pull with you--not the way others describe it, anyway. I don’t know why and it’s troubling. But, I can feel what Alma feels for Demi. I won’t deny her a chance to mate with him...as wolves.”

His words hurt me because I have been drawn to him all along without realizing it. I know I was fighting it all along when I should have trusted the Goddess in the first place, but I understand we will have to take things slowly.

He swallows and the pit of my stomach turns as I sense he has more to say.

“And I don’t feel comfortable being with you. It doesn’t feel right. You draw too much attention to yourself just by being...” He waves his hands up and down in my direction in a gesture of helplessness, “...you,” he concludes.

With a speed I’ve never used outside of combat, I rush to kneel before him. This time I am desperate, I’m merciless in grasping his ears and neck and pulling him toward me so that he can only lean down. I capture his mouth in a savage kiss that leaves his lips swollen and I don’t let go until my lungs burn for oxygen.

As he gasps for air, I do it again, but this time his lips are parted and give me access to the mildly sweet taste of his tongue. My free hand caresses his inner thigh and my thumb rubs the growing bulge further in. He moans in my mouth and I devour it. As he kisses me back I move the hand from his neck to under his shirt. His heart is beating to the same allegro tempo as my own. The honeysuckle and sweetgrass scent strengthens with his arousal. I tell myself not to be greedy, but I can’t resist him. I rub my fingers over his nipples, but I want to rip off his shirt and taste the sweet buds, hear him moan... No, I can’t be greedy. I need to hold back, he’s not ready yet and I want him to feel more than just lust.

I withdraw a bit to look into his eyes. “Doesn’t this feel right?”

He doesn’t answer, but I know he felt that. He didn’t pull away or resist me; he kissed me back. “You don’t have to say anything. Just give me a chance.” I stealthily take the stress ball out of his hand to keep my hands busy.

He turns away from me and absentmindedly rubs the succulent rosette of leaves of the aloe plant on his desk.

I sit back on the bed and try to get him talking. I want him to feel more at ease by my side. I ask him about his books and the posters on his wall and his other favorite things. He volunteers why he enjoys working with plants. We are finally making headway and building rapport…

“If you come back with me and visit my pack’s territory, I can introduce you to a lot of plants that you won’t find anywhere else.”

Aksal’s eyes light up but he doesn’t give anything away. “I’m a bit shocked that a warrior, like you, would take the time to notice differences in plants...uh, no offense,” he holds his palms up in surrender.

“None taken. I like to patrol more than anything, I enjoy the freedom and the solitude. I have a favorite oak tree I go to that sits on the edge between our lands and the realm of the Fae.”

“I want to go. How far is it again?”

“It’s a three days’ run or so, maybe less.”

“Let’s go tomorrow then before I change my mind. There’s something I want to confirm.

I try to get him talking about school and work but he finally opens up when I coax him to tell me about Alma, his smile illuminates his face. It’s dazzling; more and more, I want to make him mine.

My mouth is suddenly dry. I can feel Demi vying for control and a headache builds from his restless pacing in my mind. His sense of urgency intensifies as Aksal discloses the details of his dream from last night. He intends to mark Alma tonight as if by completing the mate bond alone, he can keep her safe.

____

A/N Dun. Dun. Dun.

I don't know if you noticed but in this universe, the human shifter reincarnates as a wolf spirit or the wolf spirit reincarnates as a human. It would be interesting to see what kind of wolf Aksal will be when he comes back as a wolf spirit to a human shifter someday.