The Damaged Soul by Troy Calkins

Eyes that burn with hate. Scales thicker than armor. Sharp fangs that drip with venom. The serpent rises from the sea, reaching the clouds, hungry for blood. The maw opens up into an endless black hole as it plunges to engulf the world. I shoot up from my bed, drenched in sweat. It was only just a dream. Just a dream.

We spend many days doing slave work when we’re not honing our fighting skills and practicing the crafts because of the trouble we got in when mother caught us fighting with Grom. Mother forces us to do the lowest of lowest slave work. Shoveling the shit of our barn animals. This is for the worst slaves to do, not the children of the Earl. It’s humiliating. Especially because Thormar loves to watch and tell us it’s our own fault. Of course, Thorkel takes great pleasure in tossing shit at Thormar. He hit him square in the face, making him run off crying to mother. And that earned us both an ass spanking with a switch. We had to chop and stack the wood while the slaves get to do the easy work.

When the slave boy named Morcar, who’s our age, comes walking by, Thorkel trips him. “Where ya going, weasel? You should be doing this work, not us. Stupid slave.”

“I’m sure your mother will not appreciate you two preventing me from doing a task she sent for me,” Morcar says, as he struggles under Thorkel.

Thorkel grabs a chunk of dirt and smothers it in his face. “Tell our mother anything and you’ll regret it, weasel. Trust me.”

Thorkel gets off of him and kicks him in the rear as he gets up, causing him to trip and fall right into the hay full of horseshit. He quickly scurries off in tears.

“Why do you treat him so?” I ask.

“Because he’s a filthy weasel. I don’t trust him. He’s all honey to our mother but treats the others slaves like rats unless he wants something from them. Keep an eye on him or he’ll stab you in the back. Besides, he told mother on me when I snuck into the kitchens and ate the pudding,” Thorkel says. Thorkel has never taken kindly to tattle tales, and he hates people who are friendly to those who have power over them but arsefaces to others. We call them two faced weasels.

“Hey, guys,” Gudrod says as he skips in through the barn doors.

“Hey, Gudrod, we’re busy. Mother has us doing slave work for fighting with Grom,” Thorkel says. Gudrod is an orphan youngling that lives with great uncle Alvi. He follows us around like a lost pup. He’s a good kid, but a bit annoying at times. But he stokes our egos. He thinks we’re both gods reborn or something. I’ll admit it feels good to have someone who looks up to you.

“Need some help?” he asks.

“Now that you ask, we could use some help,” Thorkel says with a grin. “We have to shovel out all the shit from pens. Want to give us a hand?”

“Sure! I’d love to,” he says as he grabs a spade and gets shoveling. The boy will do anything Thorkel or I ask. He’s so… naive.

“Say, Gudrod, could you do us a huge favor?” Thorkel asks, wrapping his arm around the boy’s shoulder.

“Sure, anything for you two,” Gudrod says.

“Well, you see, we’re supposed to meet up with Asfrid and Arngunn, but we can’t leave until we get all this shit shoveled out. If you could maybe fill in for us, we’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Okay, sure…” he says, his original excitement waning.

“I promise, Gudrod. We’ll make it worth your while. I’ll show you a super-secret, super effective sword form father taught me. You have to keep it a secret because father doesn’t want anyone to know about it,” Thorkel says, causing Gudrod’s eyes to light up.

“Really?” Gudrod asks, practically drooling at the mouth.

“Yes, but don’t tell anyone we had you help us or my mother will be very mad at all three of us,” he says.

“Don’t worry, Thorkel. You can count on me,” he says with a wink.

“I knew I could. You’re the best, Gudrod. And if that weasel Morcar pops his head in here, throw some shit at him, okay?” Thorkel says.

Gudrod claps his fist against his chest as if he was taking an order from our father. “I won’t let you down.”

“That’s why I know I can always count on you, Gudrod,” Thorkel says, earning a smile that is as wide as the boy’s face.

As we sneak out, I can’t help but snicker. “You are terrible, brother.”

“Father always said, always use the resources at your disposal,” he says with a grin.

“What secret sword form are you going to show him? How come father didn’t show me this form? I don’t remember him saying anything about a secret form,” I say.

“Don’t be a fool, Bothvar. I’ll just show him any basic sword form, and he’ll think it’s the most secret form there is,” Thorkel says.

“You are devious,” I say, which earns his famous grin.

Thorkel convinces the others to sneak out again. This time, instead of going up to the mountains, we head over to the river that goes into the bay that is all blocked off from the sea but by a small passageway. We’re not the only clan that has their town on the bay. The Builder Clan and the Valkyrie clan also sit on the bay. The Builders sit on our side of the river and the Valkyrie have their village across the bay on the other side.

Thorkel leads Griotgard, Solmund, Skardi, Asfrid, Arngunn, Vog, and myself as we head around the bay and down the peninsula by the Builder’s town to where the river is at its thinnest point. There, the five of us boys chop down a tree next to the river and it lands clear across to the other side. All of us walk across it, but Arni falls in and I dive in after her. Of course, the water isn’t very deep. I learned that as I eat a mouthful of dirt and sand as I smash into the bottom of the river. I quickly stand up, spit it out and clean my mouth out with water before Arni and I make our way to the other side, soaking wet.

“Bothvar, why would ya dive in like that? That wasn’t very smart,” Vog says with his stupid smile.

“I thought it was valiant. You tried to save me, didn’t you?” Arni says. “Thank you, Bothvi.”

I stick out my chest. “I was just making sure you were okay.”

Vog laughs. “That’s stupid, Bothvi.”

“A hare, let’s get it,” Thorkel yells as he and the other boys dart after it.

“No!” Arni screams after them. “Leave the bunny alone.”

The boys chase it all around while Arni and I chase after them. Arni shouts at them. “Leave it alone. Don’t hurt it.”

Thorkel circles around while the others chase it as it zig-zags and darts here and there. Griotgard leads it right into Thorkel, who dives and gets its hind leg before he grabs it by the ears and holds it up. “Ha, got the little shit.”

“Don’t hurt it. Leave it alone,” Arni says as she runs up to him. “Please!”

“Come on, Thorkel. Just let it go,” I say, even though I shouldn’t. They’re going to think I’m weak, but I can’t stand seeing Arni so worried like this.

“Oh, come on, Bothvar. You’re acting like Thormar. What, are you going to tell mother? She’ll be pissed at all of us for being out here, but she’ll welcome the hare for stew. It’s just a hare,” he says as the poor thing kicks and struggles in his grip.

“Just let it go!” Arni cries.

“Stop being a baby, Arni. You’re always so sensitive,” Asfrid says as she walks up to Thorkel. “It’s just a rabbit. What do you think we eat in our stews half the time? Besides, I thought you wanted to be like Frida. Remember? She’s our favorite goddess. She wouldn’t hesitate to kill the hare.”

“But, it’s so cute,” Arni says.

“We should kill it,” Vog says, drawing a knife.

“Yeah, and maybe our fathers will let us come on their hunts when they get back from raiding. I heard they hunted down a bear last time,” Solmund says.

Vog steps up to the rabbit, making Arni cry. I step up to Vog and Thorkel. “Don’t do it.”

Vog looks down at me with a grin. “And what are you going to do about it?”

Suddenly something swoops in between us and a long wooden staff smacks the knife right out of Vog’s hand, swipes the rabbit from Thorkel, and sweeps all three of us off our feet.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to get you, just these two, but you were in the way,” a girl says as she reaches down at me with her staff. I grab it and she yanks me up.

Thorkel and Vog scramble to their feet as the girl, who is actually quite pretty and appears to be around our own age, spins the staff with one hand and cradles the bunny in the other. She looks ready to fight.

“Why I outta,” Vog says.

Thorkel stops him. “And who might you be? I’m Thorkel, son of Beorcol. You’ve probably heard of me. My father is Earl of the Krakens.”

“I might have heard of you, but nothing good,” the girl says with a straight face as she takes us in. She has dark brown hair with a pretty but sharp face. Her eyes narrow into honed daggers.

“And who the bloody are you?” Asfrid says as she glares at her with her arms crossed.

“My name is Tonna and I’m the daughter of Amalasontha, who is the War Chieftess of the Valkyrie. You’re on our land and you’re poaching our animals. Why shouldn’t I beat the snot out of you all?” The woman twirls her staff to show she might be able to.

Vog laughs. “You got lucky. A girl couldn’t beat me in a fight.”

Vog steps up, cracking his knuckles with a big shit-eating grin on his face. The grin is wiped off with Tonna’s staff as she smacks it across his face with very little effort, sending him falling to the ground like an enormous oak tree. “Are all men this stupid?”

“Hey! I’m not stupid,” Thorkel says, stepping up.

“Let’s not fight!” Arni says as she rushes up. Why is she always doing this?

I rush over to her. Tonna raises her staff to me. “I don’t have any quarrels with you two, but your friends have to go. They’re a bunch of stupid pigs who only think with their stomachs.”

“Come on Thorkel, we can take her if we fight her together,” Griotgard says as he, Solmund, and Skardi go to circle Tonna while Vog climbs to his feet and shakes his head as if he has water in his ears.

“No!” Thorkel yells, stepping up between them. “You all act like Grom. We’re not cowards like him who need five of us to fight one girl. I’ll fight her and none of you will step in.”

She smirks. “Well, at least one of you has honor. Even so, there’s no chance you’ll beat me.”

She sets the bunny down and it darts off.

“Oooh, there goes our prey,” Vog says in a whiny voice.

“That rabbit was never yours. It is on our land and belongs to us,” the girl says as she twirls her staff around before crouching down with it resting across her shoulder, held by her backhand.

“I made things fair for you and yet you fight with a staff while I have nothing but my hands,” Thorkel says.

She sighs and tosses him the staff. “Fine, you can use it. I don’t need it to beat you.”

He huffs. “I’m not going to…”

He doesn’t have a chance to finish his words as she charges. His eyes go wide as he swings wildly at her. She ducks, dips, and dodges the staff before he tries to stab it at her. She snags it in her hands, catching him off balance, and yanks it from him as he stumbles forward. He tries to correct himself, but she takes his legs out from underneath him with the staff before she lifts it over him and brings it down hard towards his head.

Thorkel shouts and turns away, closing his eyes. However, the blow never comes as she holds it only a finger’s length above his head. All of us stand with our mouths agape. Then Vog, Solmund, and Griotgard charge at her. I rush in and burl into Vog as he slams into Griotgard while Tonna trips up Solmund.

“What are you doing?” Thorkel yells at them. “I told you not to interfere.”

“But she beat you and made you look like a fool,” Vog says as he pushes me off him.

“She got lucky, that’s all. I’ve never practiced with a staff. If we were using axes or swords with shields I’d beat her easily,” Thorkel says, dusting himself off.

“Sure,” Tonna says with another smirk.

“What is going on here?” We all jump as women with spears appear out of thin air. I didn’t even see them.

“Nothing, mother. I was just playing with these Kraken children. I was teaching them how to use a staff. They’re not very good at it,” Tonna says as she looks down her nose at us. “Although, I must admit, at least some of them have honoris. That one, who’s named Thorkel, son of Earl Beorcol, has some shred of dignity, even though he is a poor fighter. And that boy and the smaller girl have much more honoris. The rest have much to learn. They show much delictum.”

She pointed at Arni and me. What is she talking about? What are honoris and delictum?

“Most men have much delictum and little honoris. But it is far too difficult to teach them,” the woman who must be Amalasontha, Tonna’s mother, says. “And what were you children of the Kraken clan doing across the river? Don’t you know that this side of the river is our land?”

“We were only playing around, I swear,” Thorkel says, bowing his head.

The woman looks over at Arni and me. “What are your names?”

“He’s my little brother, Bothvar, and that’s Arngunn. She and Asfrid are the daughters of Hrut, my father’s quartermaster. Their mother and father serve on my father’s ship,” Thorkel says.

She narrows her eyes at us. “And those boys? What are their names?”

“That’s Vog, son of Einar, a ship captain. Those two are Griotgard and Solmund, son of Sigvid, son of Varin. And that one is Skardi. He doesn’t have any family that we know of,” Thorkel says.

“I’ll remember your names. Make sure this is the last time you walk upon our land uninvited. I’m sure your father is raiding, so tell your mother. Amalasontha and the Valkyrie don’t take kindly to trespassing even if they are children. I’ll know if you don’t follow through.”

“Yes, your Earlness. Or Chieftessiness? A… your highness?” Thorkel says, stumbling over his words.

“Come, Tonna, let us be off,” the woman says, turning her back to us.

“I’ll be right behind you. Let me say my farewell,” Tonna says. I barely blink before her mother and the other woman warriors are gone in a flash. I could hardly see them move.

“You lot are lucky I decided not to tell mother you were poaching. We don’t take kindly to poachers. They usually end up dead,” she says, once again, sticking her nose up at us. “Even so, I did enjoy meeting you all, especially you, Bothvar, and you, Arngunn. I won’t forget you two. And you are okay, Thorkel, son of Beorcol. You have a little Honoris. The rest of you lot have much delictum and I’m not sure if there’s any amount of Officium you could do to find Apolutrosis.”

“What in the name of the gods are you talking about?” Asfrid asks.

“It’s the Valkyrie way. Our five core values. Kathíkon, Honoris, Officium, Delictum, and Apolutrosis. You should learn it. Even then you’d still lack honoris,” she says. Asfrid sticks her tongue out at Tonna. “See? That’s my point.”

Then, just like that, she’s gone. Asfrid growls. “What a stuck-up, turd-eating cow.”

“I don’t know. She seems alright,” Thorkel says, scratching his head. “Do you really think that Chief lady, Amalasomanoma or whatever, will really know if we don’t tell mother about this?”

“It’s Amalasontha,” I say.

“Yeah, whatever,” Thorkel says as pushes my head away. “Come on, let’s get back before it gets too late.”

The entire way back, Asfrid complains about Tonna, calling her every foul name I’ve ever heard. Once we get back, Thorkel and I both decide to tell mother the truth, fearing what the Valkyrie War Chief might do if she really would know if we didn’t tell. Of course, this leads us to getting our ears boxed, our bottoms switched, and slave work for nearly the rest of the summer. Obviously, mother told us it would’ve been far worse if we didn’t confess.

When father finally comes home with the fleet, we all crowd the harbor and welcome them. They bring many treasures and slaves they’ve taken from ships they’ve raided. Father’s hard face softens into a smile as he sees us all. Svala runs right for him and leaps into his arms as the rest of us crowd around him. She tugs on his braided beard and he pretends to be hurt. Mother stands back, watching, as she holds the hand of the youngling Bodvar.

He looks at each of us, his bright blue eyes take us in one at a time. “How are my boys?”

“We’re doing well enough, father,” Thorkel says, standing tall with his chest puffed up.

“Thorkel and Bothvar spent most of the summer doing slave work for all the trouble they got in,” Thormar says, earning a slap against the backside of his head from Thorkel. “Hey! What was that for?”

“For talking too much,” Thorkel says.

Father only sighs. “Some things never change.”

“Did you bring us any gifts, father?” Svala asks.

“Yes! I want a gift,” Bodvar says, trying to push Svala aside, which earns him a thump on the head by Svala’s fist. He tries to kick her, but she just puts her hand against his forehead as he swings and kicks at her, not able to land a blow.

“I did. For you, my daughter, I brought you a golden necklace with a big red ruby. I know how much you like red,” he says, pulling it out of his pocket. Svala’s eyes light up as she takes it.

“Thank you so much, father! I love it,” she says.

He brings out a sword and gives it to Thorkel. “This is a sword I took from a good warrior who fought me well.”

“Then I will become a great warrior to wield it,” Thorkel says with pride.

He pulls out a big glowing orb. This one is green. “There you are, Bothvar. Another one for your collection.”

“Thank you, father! I do not have this color,” I say, taking it in amazement. I can’t pull my eyes from its glow as mist seems to swirl within it. It’s so mesmerizing. It makes me feel good. More alive.

He then pulls out a small round object and gives it to Thormar. “They call it a compass. It always points north. That way, you’ll never lose your way. Oh, and some more maps, just like you asked for.”

“Oh, thank you, father!” Thormar says with sheer happiness as he takes them.

“And for you, Bodvar, a big battle hammer, for your collection,” Father says as he grabs a hammer from his men. It’s taller than Bodvar. He can’t even lift it.

“Thanks, papa, I smash!” Bodvar can’t even lift it. He can barely even drag it behind him.

Several slaves are led from the docks. A lot of them are elves. There are some humans and elves with white robes stained and dirtied. Others have what used to be fine silk. I get a good look at them as they are led up to my mother and my Aunt Sigvor. I heard she once had a daughter who would’ve been older than Thorkel, but she got sick and my aunt could not heal her. That is why she has become so devoted to the healing arts.

Some are older elves; others are women elves. One man has a rather defiant stare. Next to him are two elven women. All three of them have blue eyes like shimmering water that completely take over the eye, leaving no white like ours; instead, the circles are just more intense blue that shines brighter than the rest. Although there are some elves that don’t have any glow and have whites in their eyes. The defiant man has long hair and dark skin. While the two women have pale ivory skin. They cling to him. Those three seem to have vibrant eyes that shine brighter than the rest. The others are rather dim and shallow, besides a girl elf that looks around our age. She has vibrant green eyes instead of blue, but like the other three, the entire eye is green with bright green orbs that swim in the pool of green. I’ve come to learn that the radiance means they have some magical ability. My mother grabs the face of the man to get a better look. He struggles to pull away. My mother lets him go and then he struggles when she does the same to the two women and the girl. He seems to have some attachment to the two women who share the same eyes.

My mother and my aunt look over the slaves. “Keep the ones with the radiant eyes separate. Those Sigvor and I will take. The rest put to work with the others.”

“Very well,” Rognvald says, a bald man who is my father’s quartermaster. He separates the three elves with the glowing blue eyes, the man and the two women. My father pulls the little girl with the green eyes aside. Rognvald takes the rest away.

Asfrid and Arni join us at the docks with Arni’s hair full of flowers, coming to find their own mother and father who raid with my father. Father looks at them and his face slowly saddens.

“Girls… I… I’m sorry, but… Your father and mother. They… They died. They died honorably and now feast in Valholl. I’m so sorry. Your father was one of my closest friends,” father says as he kneels down to face the two girls.

“But… Mother said that… She said she was going to teach us how to fight. She said when she gets back…” Asfrid says as tears well up in her eyes. “She promised!”

“I picked these flowers for mother,” Arni says as she drops them. Asfrid turns and runs away. Thorkel takes off after her.

Mother steps up to father. “What shall happen to them? We can’t let them fend for themselves.”

“We shall take them in as our wards,” father says. “I promised Hrut I’d look after them, and I will keep that promise.”

Arni cries and I step over to her to take her hand. She buries herself in my chest. My father’s fist clenches. “Damn them elves! All the blue-eyed bastards.”

“Son, why don’t you take Arni inside the hall. She needs time,” mother says, and I nod.

Father takes a moment to breathe in deeply, letting his anger fade, then turns to mother. “Why don’t we give this little green-eyed elf girl about Arngunn’s age to the girls so they have someone they can talk to?”

“That is wise. I’ll take a look at the girl,” mother says as I take Arni away. We go to my room, where she goes to my bed and collapses. After I put the orb with the others, I lie down with her and put my arm around her.

I don’t know how long we lay like this, but it was some time before someone knocks at my door. There stands mother with the little green-eyed elf girl. Her skin is darker than ours. It’s the color of bronze. Her hair is dark.

“What do you want?” I spit out.

“Is that how you talk to your mother?” she asks. Her hand goes to her hip as she narrows her eyes at me.

“I am sorry, mother.”

“It is okay. I will let it slide. Since Arngunn’s parents died, they will live with us. The girls will all sleep in Svala’s room. This is Semet. She will be our servant. I would like her to be with Arngunn and Asfrid,” mother says.

“Go away. We don’t want her! She’s an elf! The elves killed her parents. I hate them!” I spit out.

“Bothvar!” mother says with a shocked and angry expression.

“It’s okay, Bothvi. She can stay,” Arngunn says as she rubs her eyes. “She looks like she could use a friend. So could I.”

“Bothvar, you could learn more from Arngunn. Don’t be so cruel,” mother says, boring her eyes into me. “Besides, there are different kinds of elves. The green eyes are different from the blue eyes that killed Arngunn’s parents. You would do well to learn these differences. Maybe you should also spend time with the girl and learn about her people.”

Then her expression lightens as she looks over at Arni. “Arngunn, I am so sorry for your loss. Just know, if there is anything you and your sister need, please let me know. We will treat you like our own daughters, and you will always have a home here.”

“Thank you, I just miss them so much,” Arni says, sniffling as she wipes away another tear.

Mother wearily steps over and kneels down in front of Arni. “I know. They miss you too, and they will see you again in the halls of the gods where you will feast together. Then, you can tell them all about your journeys and the family you will have.”

“Really?” she asks, looking up at her.

“I know it to be true,” mother says.

“I can’t wait to see them again,” Arni says, rubbing away her tears.

“Well, hopefully you can wait just a little longer. We would hate to lose you too,” I say.

Arni smiles and wipes away the last of her tears. She hugs me.

“Will I get to see my parents too? They were killed by the blue-eyed elves who took me,” Semet says.

“No, you and your parents are heathens and will spend all eternity lost in the cold waste of Niflheim,” I say.

“Bothvar! Why would you say that to her?” Mother asks in a growl.

“What? I was just saying what is true,” I say.

“You do not know that. Perhaps her parents are waiting for her in the halls of their gods. Do not speak about things you do not know,” mother says.

“Yeah, that wasn’t very nice, Bothvi,” Arngunn says. She then gets up and walks to the girl and hugs her. “Don’t worry, Semet. Your parents are with mine and soon we can join them together.”

“Really?” Semet asks, her face full of hope.

“I know it. We just have to be good so we can join them,” Arngunn says.

The little girl nods, wiping away her tears. “I’ll do my best.”

“But only our gods are the true gods,” I say, looking up at my mother.

“Perhaps, or maybe all beliefs are true. Maybe their gods and our gods exist within the same realm, or different realms. Or maybe they are the same gods. We do not know, and no one can say for sure. Regardless, it is not for us to say. We follow our gods because that is what we believe. Doesn’t she deserve the same right to follow her own beliefs?” Mother asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I suppose,” I say, considering this. I turn to the elf. “I’m sorry for what I said. Your parents are probably with your gods, and I hope you can join them when it is your time to take the last voyage.”

She nods and smiles. Mother is smiling too, but she has tears in her eyes. Why is she crying and smiling at the same time? That doesn’t make any sense.