The Crest

He greeted her like he always did. ”Comment es-tu mon cheri?” How are you, my love?”

She fondly responded like she always did. “Je désire ardemment ton étreinte.” I long for your embrace.

You look well, he said.

Nothing has changed.

You know I love you.

I know you do, and I love you too, it’s just…. I miss you. I’m not strong, I need you.

You gave me much joy. And for that I am so grateful.

The days are so hard. The nights so long, she replied.

It gets easier, he said.

I doubt it. My life is hell. Please come home.

We’ve talked about this before. I’m always with you. Think of me during the difficult times, and remember my love, it will buoy you.

She broke down again, sobbing on her bed.

Don’t do this to me. It’s not fair.

I am sorry my dear, truly I am, he told her softly.

I want to be with you, but I don’t have the courage to do it.

The others need you more. Only you can lead them.

You never told me how it happened; it’s been a year now, she said.

The voice paused. I was in the forest putting out sensors. I got caught. It’s that simple.

Was it painful?

A little, but I thought of you until the very end. And then — I was gone from this world.

She cried violently. I love you, my dear.

I know my love, I know, he whispered.

Danielle wept, curled there on her bed, not knowing if she was crying in real life or in a dream… the two were indistinguishable. She awoke and looked at the drawer again. Perhaps this would be the day, she thought. She opened the drawer, and like before, she put the gun barrel into her mouth.

So deep was her desolation. Now is the time. She thought. She steadied the gun with her hands and pulled back the hammer.

My love, what are you doing? Now is not the time my dear.

“Now is the time, I need to do it. I miss you,” she screamed out loud.

She listened to his gentle words. The others need you more my dear. The trees need you. Please wait one more week, at least.

She hesitated, not sure how to respond, breathing rapidly.

“Okay my love, one more week,” she said, and slowly she put the gun back in the drawer.

Thank you, my dear, he told her.

The alarm rang. Exhausted and sleepless, Danielle prepared for another day at FORC.