The Counterfeit Lover (War of Sins Book 3)

‘You sure know how to make a lady feel special,’ I grin at him.

He chuckles.

“That’s because you’re my special lady, Noelle.”

His hands are on the sides of my face, touching me lightly as if he didn’t dare do more—as if he’s still afraid this moment is ephemeral.

There’s an intensity to his eyes that makes me shiver. Yet he doesn’t do more.

It’s at that moment that I realize how tightly wound up he is. How his muscles are coiled with tension, ready to burst at any moment. All that fear from before is still packed within him—the what-ifs from before still haunting his mind.

He’s looking at me with so much longing it breaks my heart that he feels the need to deny himself, that he’s afraid he might scare me with that side of him.

And it’s not the first time, is it?

All along, there’s been something holding him back. Making him slow down when all he wanted was to go faster, stronger, harder.

While I was becoming increasingly scared of the extent of my feelings for him—of the things that I would do for him—he’s been doing the same, hasn’t he?

The only time when he’d been truly uninhibited had been under the influence of drugs. Then he’d taken me so raw, so out of control.

I continue to look at him, as if by merely looking I could decipher the secrets of his soul. And to an extent I can.

I know about his childhood  and about his relationship with his parents. I know all the expectations placed on him. More than anything, I know he’s never allowed himself to be anything more than what was required of him. He’d been neatly placed in one mold and he’d never tried to break out of it.

He’d simply accustomed himself to living life from the shadows, being trapped within his body, that ultimate cage of his own making.

The world doesn’t know the real him. It never did.

Only I do. Only I am privy to his deepest desires, to the man he is beneath it all—to the person he is when he is stripped of the Guerra name.

Only I know his core—his desire to be…more.

It’s always been something we both related to. Caught by our circumstances, we could only commiserate while imagining a world where things were different.

‘Give me your thoughts,’ I whisper softly, urging him to open up to me.

His mouth opens and closes, indecision flashing across his face.

Instead of talking, though, he does something entirely unexpected. He grips the hem of my cotton dress, pulling it up over my head. Surprised, I go along, wanting to see what he means to do—excited at the prospect he might do what I want him to.

The car windows are tinted. No one on the outside can see us—not that I’d mind at this point. All I want is to have his big hands on my body, feel his calloused fingers as they grip my flesh and remind me we are mortals, yet we are so much more. We’re bodies dancing in the night while our souls kiss.

He flings the dress aside, leaving me completely naked for his perusal. The only item still on my body is the necklace, the proof of our undying love.

‘You want my thoughts, pretty girl?’ his voice is gravelly, thick and so full of emotion it only serves to trigger my own forgotten passion—the one reserved only for him.

‘I want every bit of you, Raf. I want the spoken and the unspoken. Every little bit.’

‘I’m a mess,’ he admits, vulnerability dripping from his voice. ‘I’m a fucking mess who loves you more than it should be legal to love someone.’

His confession washes over me, infusing me with inexplicable lightness and a pulsing need that starts from the middle of my chest, moving lower until it reaches that spot between my thighs.

‘But there’s so much you don’t know… So much I’ve kept from you and it’s killing me…’

‘Shhh,’ I bring my finger against his lips, shushing him. ‘I don’t care. Not now, Raf. I know everything I need to know.’

‘Noelle…’

Slowly, I move my hands down his chest, undoing his buttons and removing his shirt while never once taking my eyes off him.

His lips part, his breathing harsh.

‘I know how much I love you and that’s enough,’ I say as I lean forward, pressing my lips against the naked skin at the hollow of his throat.

The space is crammed. Yet because it’s so tiny, my skin touches his everywhere, the musky scent of him filling my nostrils just as his warmth envelops my body.

I spread my hands over hard muscle, tracing the puckered scars on his left shoulder, so close to his heart they could have been fatal.

Before, I hadn’t seen them for what they were. But now I know.

They are his second chance at life—my second chance at life.

Bringing my lips to his skin, I kiss every scar, swirling my tongue around and eliciting a hiss from him.

One hand in my hair, he strokes me gently. The other hand is slowly moving up my ribcage, tracing the contours of my body in the sweetest caress.

‘You’re my little piece of heaven, Noelle,’ he whispers. ‘The only time I can truly be at peace is when I have you in my arms.’

I glance up to see his pupils expanding as his desire reaches a new height, his love so evident in every little blink, every breath.

‘The only time I feel complete is when I’m in your arms, Raf.’

His mouth tilts up right as the hand in my hair tightens over my scalp, his grip unyielding yet painless. With a sudden yank, he brings me to him, my lips meeting his in a violent clash.

I can’t help the whimper that escapes me.

The time for playing around is over.

This is the Rafaelo I crave.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I bring my breasts flush against his chest, opening my mouth on top of his and kissing him with everything in me.

I kiss him for the past, for being the one drop of color in my life.

I kiss him for the future, for everything that’s still left unsaid.

He bites my lip, drawing back just enough to meet my gaze before he moves his mouth over my jaw, peppering it with kisses until he reaches the spot below my ear, biting and sucking the skin in his mouth, marking me.

‘Love me,’ I murmur. ‘Love me, Raf. Show me how much you love me…” My eyes snap closed as a moan escapes my lips when he pinches my nipple, his mouth trailing lower and lower as he nibbles at my skin.

He’s leaving his mark on me everywhere, and a shudder goes down my spine at thinking everyone will see me like this.

Stained by him. Smelling of him. Wearing him with me.

His.

They will see the red kisses of his lust and they will know there’s only him for me, just like there’s only me for him.

His hands grip my waist as he pushes me back until I feel the coldness of the steering wheel against my skin. In contrast, the warmth of his mouth is everywhere, worshiping every inch of my skin.

Sucking one nipple in his mouth, he gives it a light bite that startles me, a low giggle escaping me as I thread my fingers through his hair, encouraging him to do the same to the other.

‘You love my mouth on you, don’t you?’ he speaks against my flesh, goosebumps covering my skin as I feel the deep rumble of his voice reverberate against my ribcage.

I give him a brisk nod, anything to have him continue.

He smiles before he brings his tongue to the valley of my breasts, licking his way up my neck until he reaches my lips again.

‘You were my first kiss,’ he confesses thickly. ‘The first lips I ever tasted,’ he continues, his breath my breath. ‘The only lips I’ve ever tasted.’

My eyes flutter open as I look at him—at the way his hair is no longer perfectly styled, his face flushed, his eyes overtaken with lust.

I part my lips to reply, but the words are stuck in my throat. There are so many things I want to tell him, confessions that no one knows. Things that only he should know. Yet I can’t. Not now. I won’t ruin this moment when it’s the perfect bliss. I’ve waited too long to have him like this, with no barriers between us. I won’t taint this with revelations that would only upset him—maybe change the way he sees me forever.

So, I settle on something else. Something safe but true.

‘You’re fully mine, aren’t you?’

‘Always,’ he brushes his lips against mine. Once. Twice. ‘I’ve never not been yours,’ he whispers, the words making my once dead heart weep with joy.

And as I give into the kiss, I feel his hand sneak between my legs, finding me soaked for him. He pushes one finger between my folds, coating it in my arousal. Bringing it between our mouths, he sucks on it before he swipes his tongue over my lips, giving me a taste of myself—of everything he makes me feel.

‘You’re so wet for me,’ he rasps. ‘Only for me.’

‘Only ever for you,’ I readily agree, so consumed by lust I’m about to combust.

I want him inside me, but I also don’t want to hurry this since I recognize it for what it is—the true joining of our bodies and souls. A slow dance meant to strengthen our already impenetrable bond.

He touches me again, his thumb on my clit as he pushes two thick fingers inside of me.

My breath catches in my throat at the sensation.

Eyes on him, I can only convey to him with my gaze everything that he makes me feel, both fullness and emptiness. My lips part as my breath comes out in short spurts, the heated atmosphere leaving me panting just as his fingers move in and out of me.

‘There. Right there, Noelle.’

His voice is different, an echo hitting the steamed windows of the car and enveloping the entire space in the decadence of his command.

‘Show me how you look when you come for me, pretty girl. Show me what’s mine and mine alone,’ he demands. ‘Only mine.’

My nails are lodged in his shoulders as I feel the pressure mount inside me.

He simply regards me, hooded eyes dripping with arousal and a need to see how I react to him—only him.

So I give it to him.

A cry is wrenched from my mouth, my muscles tensing as my head falls back, the climax building up until I’m a quivering mess at the mercy of his fingers.

‘That’s it, love,’ his voice gently beckons me back, his lips on my flushed cheeks as he licks at what I realize are tears. No wonder the orgasm felt so unusual. He took me to a different high. One that goes beyond the physical. Beyond biological functions and mechanisms.

‘Let it all go,’ he murmurs softly. ‘Let it all go, Noelle.’

‘I need you Raf,’ I swallow hard. ‘I need to feel you inside me. I just need…’ words fail me as the urgency to have him fill me overtakes me.

‘I know what you need. I’m here, pretty girl. I’m here all the way with you.’

My hands go to his belt, fumbling in my attempt to undo it. Throwing it aside, I lower his zipper and my palm meets his soft flesh—so hard and ready for me.

‘Noelle, fuck,’ he rasps as I wrap my hand around him, touching him lightly.

Using my other hand, I reach between my legs, gathering some of my arousal and lathering it up all over his length.

‘You’re killing me. You’re fucking killing me,’ Raf groans, his fingers back in my hair as he brings me to him for a kiss.

I stroke him, slowly at first before gaining speed, using his sounds of pleasure as my guide. He’s so hard and thick, my walls clench in anticipation of feeling him fill me—stretch me to completion.

‘God, pretty girl,’ he rasps, moving his hands to my ass as he brings me into him. ‘Fuck yourself on me,’ he commands in that unyielding tone of his. ‘Fuck yourself on me and take what you want. Take everything.’

My hands on his shoulders, I slowly lower myself on his lap. The head of his cock brushes against my wet folds before he positions it to my entrance, carefully pushing inside of me.

‘Raf,’ my mouth opens on a loud moan as I feel him slowly breach me, stretching me with his size, a slight burn giving way to maddening pleasure when he’s fully embedded inside me.

We’re both breathing hard, our eyes locking just as our bodies are fitted together to perfection.

I can feel him pulsing inside of me, swelling even more in size.

‘This is us, Noelle. Right here, right now,’ he brushes the damp hair from my face, gazing at me so lovingly, so reverently.

The perfection of the moment is enhanced by the fact that I’m the only one who knows this side of him just like he is the only one who knows this side of me.

‘Feel it,’ I grab his hand, bringing it over my heart. ‘Feel how you’re making my heart beat,’ I tell him on a gasp as he half-thrusts into me.

He replaces his hand with his head, his ear fitted to my chest as he hugs my body, sliding me up and down his cock and slow, precise movements that have me crying out in pleasure.

‘I feel it. I hear it, I taste it,’ he murmurs softly. ‘I can taste the precious sweetness of your heartbeats. Because your heart beats for me, doesn’t it, pretty girl? Only for me.’

‘Yes,’ I moan, my eyes closed as I cradle his head to my chest, bouncing up and down his cock as he makes the sweetest love to me. ‘It beats only for you, Raf. For so long,’ I pause, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat, focusing to remain in the moment—not taint this with the pain of the past. ‘For so long I’ve been alive but not living. Not like this. Not like when I’m with you. So yes, it beats only for you. Because you made it beat again.’

But there’s also the unspoken.

Thank you for being alive.

Thank you for finding me again.

Thank you for saving me.

‘Fuck,’ he curses, ‘I’ve told you and I’ll tell you for as long as we live, Noelle. You’re my heart. My fucking everything. To have you like this… To feel you like this…’ he trails off, stuck in the ineffability of the moment.

I cry out harder as he increases the rhythm of his thrusts.

There’s only his sweaty body. My sweaty body. The steamed up windows. And two hearts beating in unison.

Reaching to the side, he punches a button to adjust the driver’s seat until the back is at the same level as the backseat. And in a swift move, he switches our positions, my back hitting the leather of the seat as he takes his place between my legs.

He pauses momentarily to fully remove his pants before he’s back on me. But instead of resuming fucking me, he throws my legs over his shoulders as he brings his mouth to my pussy, giving it a long lick before wrapping his lips around my clit and sucking hard.

‘Raf,’ I scream, scandalized, but also overflowing with pleasure as I feel another orgasm build inside of me.

‘Play with your tits for me, pretty girl,’ he rasps, his eyes finding mine as he swirls his tongue over my clit. ‘I want to see you pet yourself while I make you come. Over and over again,’ his breath meets my wetness as he speaks, a shiver going down my back at the sensation.

My cheeks heat up at his request, but I do as he says, bringing my fingers to my nipples, cupping the heavy weight of my breasts just as Raf resumes licking me.

‘That’s it,’ he bites on my clit and my hips shoot up, an electrical current going through the entire length of my body as my toes curl with the power of my orgasm. I can’t help the succession of whimpers that escape my mouth, the way I feel like I’m flying and I never want to reach the ground again.

‘Fucking hell, the taste of your pussy and the taste of your voice as you come are the best meal I’ve ever had,’ he tells me, his tongue giving me one last lick before he slowly comes up my body, peppering kisses everywhere.

My hands are still on my breasts as I squeeze them, the aftershocks still too strong.

‘Hold on to me,’ he takes my arms, wounding them around his neck before he cups my ass, his fingers digging into the soft skin of my cheeks as he slides into me in one smooth thrust.

‘I’m done going slow, Noelle,’ his voice is grave, punctured.

‘I never asked you to,’ I wink at him.

A smile on his face, he grabs my ass so hard I’m sure I’ll be sporting bruises all over.

It’s only when he draws back that I see a new lightness entering his features, his grunts intensifying as he fucks me with rare abandon.

His thrusts become increasingly faster, harsher, more potent.

‘More,’ I demand, knowing he has more to give me. ‘I want all of you. All that you hide in here. All that you’ve never let loose,’ I whisper in his hair, one hand sneaking between our bodies to feel the wild beat of his heart.

Our bodies are covered in sweat and gleaming in the low lighting of the car. Yet it’s the look in his eyes that has me enraptured.

It’s that intense gaze of his, but this time it’s different.

Something snaps in him at my words.

One moment I’m holding on to him as his hips piston in and out of me, the next I find myself flat against the leather of the chair, his hand on my throat as he leans back, watching me as he squeezes ever so lightly, restricting my airflow but not harming me.

I wrap my fingers around his wrist, confirming I want this—anything he wants to do to me.

Relief flashes across his face before it’s gone, his features hardening, his gaze an impenetrable fortress and I’m the only guest allowed.

He holds me pinned to the seat, one hand around my throat while the other grips my hip, keeping me in place. He’s on his knees, his cock still inside of me, but barely.

A strange smile appears on his face, a playfulness I haven’t seen before. Instead of fucking me harder, as I expected of him, he goes slower—painfully slow.

All the while he’s watching me, his eyes taking in every play of emotion on my face, his fingers tightening around my throat as he pushes the head of his cock inside of me but before stopping. He teases me with it, pressing into me and retreating, only to slide his length between the wet lips of my pussy.

‘You’re wicked, Rafaelo Guerra,’ I playfully chastise, my lips fighting to erupt in a smile.

‘I may be wicked, but I’m yours,’ he gives me a cheeky smile before he moves his hand up, his thumb slipping into my mouth as he thrusts all the way inside of me.

He changed the angle, and the result is…earth-shattering.

I bite hard on his thumb, holding his hand captive to swallow my cries as he starts to thoroughly fuck me. In and out, the power of his thrusts makes me reel, my spine arching, my eyes rolling in the back of my head as I feel my walls contract, squeezing him inside of me.

I come like never before. My entire body starts spasming, my mind a big, blank space as I forget all about my surroundings.

There’s only warmth. So much warmth and an inexplicable bliss as I hear his groan of pleasure and the frenzy that accompanies it as he chases his own climax. His hot seed floods my insides just as he collapses on top of me, his mouth on my shoulder as he cradles me to him, licking my skin and murmuring sweet words of love.

Just like that, I’m home.

I’m finally back home.