The Chrononauts

Victoria and John lost their grip on each other as they fell. They landed on two small islands of black sand. There was no sun and the light around them was similar to that of dusk on Earth.

Victoria could see John lying in the sand on the other little island. He looked like he was unconscious. She wiped the sand off her arms and talked to herself but no noise came out.

A tiny voice spoke to her. “You can’t make noise down here. You see, the prince doesn’t like all the screaming. I have been here a while. They have forgotten about me.”

Victoria looked down at the little white quartz crystal and asked, “How long?”

“I have laid here four hundred million of your years.”

The crystal saw the shock on Victoria’s face and laughed. “Trust me, that is not long for a rock. Oh, oh. The Glarff is looking at your friend. If it can catch him, it will devour him.” John sat up on the black sand and looked around. Victoria pointed out in the water at the monster.

He tried to yell at her but couldn’t and just nodded. The distance between the islands was only sixty yards. John thought he could swim it if the beast was further away.

The Glarff suddenly seemed to be moving away. John was staring at it. It was getting further away in his view. He walked to the edge of the water.

The little stone yelled at him. “Stay there! It is a trick. It can make itself appear smaller. It just looks like it is moving away. It is really moving towards you.” A flash of blue light hit the little stone and it went silent. Victoria picked up the little piece of quartz and put it in her pocket.

Brady and Matt and Mrs. B. saw Snowflake outside in a tree. She flew down to the bench next to them. Alarmed, Brady asked, “Is there anything we can do?”

He got two hoots.

“Is there anything you can do?”

He got no hoots.

Matt heard a commotion behind him. A cop had grabbed an old Indian and hit him with a stun gun. He cursed, “Freaking old drunk Apache.”

Brady yelled at him, “Leave him alone! He is a friend of mine.”

The cop recognized Brady from the newspaper. “This is the Wild West, dickhead; it is not Massachusetts. Go drink tea or something.” The officer froze when he felt a gun barrel push against his head.

Matt smiled. “Hi, Sheriff. You’re still hanging around?”

His hammer clicked back. “I thought I would stay with the chief, in case you needed any help.”

The officer stammered, “You better get that gun away from me or I’ll stick it up your butt.”

The sheriff didn’t know what that meant. He looked over at Matt. He wore a sheepish grin on his face. He tried to explain. “Um...well, he says he will take your gun away from you and ah...” he stopped and pointed at his rear end.

The sheriff looked at the fat cop, “Oh, really? You’re that stupid to challenge someone you never saw draw? Well, fine. Let’s see you try. The sheriff holstered his Colt and backed slowly away.

Matt stopped him. “Maybe you should demonstrate how good you are.”

The fat cop retorted, “Yeah, hot shot, try to impress me.” Matt gave the officer a look of distain.

The sheriff laughed. “You got a small coin, fat man?” The officer cringed but tossed him a quarter.

Matt shook his head. “That’s not a small coin. Here is a dime.”

The sheriff put his hand near his Colt and said, “Throw it straight up. I don’t want to shoot anybody except you.”

The cop chuckled and tossed the coin high. The gun went off and the coin flew off after an obvious hit. The sheriff blew on the smoke coming out of the barrel. The cop was shocked by the speed of the draw. Everyone on the sidewalk clapped loudly.

The fat cop laughed nervously. “Very funny, but a dime isn’t a man.”

Matt whispered to the cop, “You should have backed down, you fat little twerp. Now you’re probably a dead man.”

The sheriff backed up fifty feet and set his hand above his gun. He yelled at the cop, “I’ll let you take out your gun and aim at me, fat man. Pull the trigger when you’re ready.”

The cop was sweating and shaking noticeably. “I am not drawing on you. You’re a fellow lawman.”

The sheriff didn’t move a muscle, “And the chief is a fellow American.” There were camera phones all over the place recording the action. The nervous cop pointed his gun toward the sheriff. His gun pointed all over the place. He pushed down on the trigger and his gun exploded in his hand.

Evidently, the sheriff’s bullet went up the officer’s barrel and exploded the end of his weapon. The sheriff looked at Matt with a sheepish grin. “Well, I couldn’t kill a fellow lawman, even this poor excuse for one.” The crowd laughed loudly at the officer.

The irate cop tried to shoot the sheriff in the back with his backup gun, but when he fired it he hit the car next to him. He turned and started running. He got hit by a stolen car and was killed instantly.

Mrs. B. looked suspiciously at the sheriff. He looked innocently at her. “Don’t look at me.”

She looked over at the chief, who was doing magic tricks for some little kids. She kept staring and he finally gave her a sheepish grin. In perfect English, he laughed. “Boy, you’re tough!”

The sheriff smiled. “I didn’t know he spoke American. We can try to save your friend, but we have to go back to the Superstitions. We don’t have the power to open this vortex in the room.

Mrs. B. nodded sadly and said, “We will go there and camp out until there is no hope.”

Molly spoke up. “I am going too. John grows on you...albeit like a wart.” The FBI agents were needed back in Langley to help catch a serial killer in Maine, so they would have to part ways.

The sheriff and the chief left immediately. The rest would have to take more mundane transportation. The sheriff told them the entrance to the vortex was around Weaver’s Needle and they should camp out there.

John looked across at Victoria. She smiled at him meekly and looked around slowly and stopped. She shrugged at him and pointed at the Glarff and shook her head ‘no’. John nodded and sat cross-legged on the sand.

Victoria thought he was merely meditating until there was a white flash and he became a hawk. He flew over to her island. The Glarff lunged into the air at him and missed. It let out a loud frustrated roar as it plunged back below the surface of the inky water.

Dave noticed several well-dressed men with earwigs were following their vehicle. “We have company. Probably some illegal government splinter agency. They are probably the same group we ran into at the Red Lobsters.”

He was surprised to hear Mr. Wonderful behind him. “I guess maybe they will have to be distracted. I brought Marissa to help me. Let them follow you to the Superstitions. We will do the rest.”

The splinter agents had no idea where the man, John, had gone. A frustrated agent spoke. “Look, he was in that room and he didn’t come out the door or the window. There is a lot of weird shit going on with these Massachusetts people.”

The leader thought a moment. “We will assume the Bradys know where he is. We will follow them to Hell if we have to.” Snowflake watched from a distance and hooted once softly.

The splinter agents noticed the Brady group knew they were being followed but did nothing. They arrived at the base of Weaver’s Needle and saw the Bradys had set up camp right out in the open. It was in the shade near an outcrop of igneous rock. Walter and Marissa were ready to stage an attack against the agents, disguised as Molly and John. They had headed towards the mountains two hours earlier

The leader scanned the area. “What the hell are they up to?” A burst of bullets from above them flattened all four tires on the left side of their two vehicles.

His second-in-command saw a muzzle flash halfway up a draw. He pointed, “Over there, at the base of that mountain.”

The leader gave him a sarcastic look. “That’s five clicks away, you idiot. He would be lucky to hit the vehicle.” They both saw another flash and a couple seconds later the leader’s Coke flew off the top of his Hummer. He ducked behind the door. “We have got to recruit this guy.”

A laughing voice came from the other Hummer. “It is a broad, Captain.” The Coke can on the ground jumped ten feet into the air. “Wait. It’s that doctor chick. What a lucky shot!”

The leader chuckled. “Yes, lucky.”

The man looked up cautiously with binoculars. “That John guy is with her. He is pointing at us and laughing. Now they’re headed towards the mountain range.”

The Bradys had heard the shots and came back the half–mile to see what was happening. They were all eating pizza and holding cold beers. Snowflake flew down and landed on Brady’s shoulder. She leaned forward and stared at the men with malice in her eyes.

The Bradys all stood perfectly still.

The second man shook his head. “That guy is talking to the owl. The owl is nodding to him. These people remind me of the Addams Family without Pugsley and Lurch. The chick next to the guy with the owl is a lot hotter than that Morticia chick. They give me the creeps. Look! The owl is talking to her. Now she is laughing. Do you think the owl can read lips?”

The leader chuckled and replied, “A good thing you’re a great sniper, Travi! Everyone get your gear. Bring enough food and water for three days and climbing gear just in case.”

The leader then looked through his binoculars and he determined John was with her. “Okay gentlemen we will double time and take them out with no mercy. All six of us will leave in five minutes. Pack extra panties and ammo, ladies.” He turned and was surprised the Bradys had disappeared. He quickly turned to his two targets. They were about two and a half miles away.

He laughed. “Those two assholes are sitting on a rock, eating pizza and drinking beer and they are waving at us. Whoa! The guy crushed a beer can on his forehead. They are steel now. That is weird; that white owl landed on his shoulder. It opened the damn beer for him.”

The angry leader looked at two of his men. “Try to take them out. It is too hot for a brisk walk.” The two snipers tried. The rounds hit ten feet from the pair. Two more rounds missed by twenty feet. The captain shook his head. “I’m sure we all feel a lot safer with sharp guys like you protecting our country.”

The woman laughed at them as she took two shots. The two snipers fell backward, dead. John and Molly got up and casually walked towards the mountains. The leader and the four remaining men started to pursue the pair. An hour later, they were dripping in sweat and no closer.

The demons had changed the vortex entrance near Weaver’s Needle. It would be near a nemesis plant but it would be difficult to find. It was a tiny plant with a simple single white flower.

The chief started a mesquite fire to ask his ancestors for help to find it. He chanted for several hours while the sheriff paced around in frustration.

He stopped chanting near dusk and just watched the smoke rise. After an hour, a bright spark floated up in the smoke and drifted high into the air. The Indian didn’t move, but his eyes followed the spark.

The sheriff watched him closely and jumped up when he saw his eye movement. He held his arms up in frustration and paced around in circles.

The Indian’s eyes stayed on the spark until it disappeared over the hill.

The sheriff got more agitated. A slight smile formed on the Indian’s face as he tried not to laugh. “The great spirits have spoken: wait for omen. We wait for sign.”

The frustrated sheriff kicked a rock hard. He screamed in pain and hopped up and down on his good foot. The chief stood up, “Okay, we go.”

The sheriff looked surprised. “I thought you needed an omen? Oh! I was the omen? That is very funny, chief.” He hopped up the hill after the Indian, still mumbling to himself. They could see the bright spark drifting towards a basalt rock face. Halfway up, it disappeared.

The sheriff laughed. “Well, where is your precious little flower, chief? Half way up the rock wall?” The chief looked down at the sheriff’s right foot. He lifted it meekly and blushed. “Well, it is so dark out here, sorry, chief.”

The chief shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Another will bloom in a thousand years or so.” The chief tossed a rock where the spark disappeared and the stone vanished in a blue flash.

The bad guys had double-timed after Molly and John for three hours and lost them in the mountains. They were angry and tired and fell asleep in their sleeping bags immediately. The leader woke up at two o’clock in the morning with his mouth watering.

He sniffed the air. “Damn it. I smell pepperoni and beer.” He got up and woke up his men. “They have to be near.” The men grumbled at him but soon realized they could smell pizza. The leader sniffed the air. “That direction,” he said as he pointed away from camp.

His second whispered to him, “But captain, we can’t see where we’re going.”

The leader sneered, “Then you should follow your noses.”

There were several clangs. The man lit his night scope and picked up a cold black object. “It could be a bomb. Wow, it’s cold beer. There is a whole six-pack.”

The leader looked a few feet ahead and saw a heat signature. “We might have a real bomb over to the right.”

The leader whispered, “Be careful of trip wires.” On investigation, there was no trip wire present, just a hot pepperoni pizza. The men attacked it like hungry wolves. The cold beer suffered the same fate. He just shook his head. “Anytime you’re ready to go, ladies. Hey, maybe they have more hot pizza and cold beer with them.”

That had the desired effect. The leader had a hard time keeping up. “Really? Really guys?”

Every few miles, there was pizza and a lot more beer. His men started getting drunk and fell asleep on the ground, one by one. Soon the leader was alone. He exited an arroyo and saw a tent lit by a campfire with two people inside eating. He showed no mercy and sprayed the tent with automatic weapon fire. He watched for movement and saw none.

He put a new clip in and walked slowly over to the tent. He kicked open the flap and was shocked to see two young Indians lying dead.

He backed out and found a ring of Apache around him. He flipped his weapon up and pulled the trigger but his gun jammed. An arrow punctured his right leg above the knee. He dropped the gun and tried to pull out the arrow. Another hit the other leg in the same spot and he fell to the sand. The Apaches tied him to the ground with wet leather straps on top of a fire ant hill. They gave him a drink of water to make him last longer.

A painted medicine man started chanting and drew two lines in the sand to his two bleeding wounds. The Apache suddenly stopped and the group got very quiet. Jake, the leader, lifted his head to see what was happening. He saw the dry bushes on each side of him moving.

His eyes opened wide as two giant two-foot Gila monsters slithered out of the brush. They sniffed the air and slowly moved towards Jake and his bleeding legs.

They each locked onto one of his legs and he screamed. The red ants would also do their work. He lived for three days. The two dead Indians, also known as Mr. Wonderful and Marissa, returned to the Brady camp.

Dave kept staring at Mr. Wonderful, who noticed and chuckled at him. Brady saw it and laughed as he looked over at Matt. “Oh, oh, he is going to screw with Dave.” Marissa sauntered over by Dave.

Matt chuckled. “Whoa...that is really bad.”

Walter put his hand on Dave’s shoulder. “I take it you feel uncomfortable around me Dave?”

Dave stuttered a little. “Well, Walter I never got to see someone walking around again who I had once looked at on a cold autopsy table.”

Marissa asked, “Is that true, Walter?”

Walter laughed. “God, no. He is embarrassed because I am really hung and he feels inferior, that’s all.”

Marissa looked down at Dave’s crotch and laughed loudly. Dave turned bright red. “I am not.”

Marissa laughed. “Well, let’s see it. I will give you an honest opinion.”

Dave glared back at Walter, who was laughing loudly. “I think I’ll go for a walk.”

Walter whispered to him. “Watch out. There are a lot of Gila monsters out there looking for baby snakes.”

Dave looked back sarcastically. “I’ll try to keep my fly up.”

The chief looked at the sheriff and whispered, “You might want to apologize to the flower and beg its forgiveness.”

The sheriff laughed. “It is just a stupid little flower.” He screamed as he was violently sucked into the vortex.

The chief chuckled and replied, “I warned you.”

He followed the screaming sheriff into the vortex. The chief looked down at him and shook his head. He had landed face first in a putrid puddle of mud.

The laughing chief helped him up. “You shouldn’t have pissed off the nemesis plant.”

The sheriff wiped mud out of his eyes and looked around. “I thought we were going to try to save the little girl?”

The chief laughed. “We have to wait for our guide.”

They didn’t have to wait long. A white owl landed on the chief’s shoulder. The sheriff laughed. “The dumb owl is our guide? Snowflake?”

The owl gave him a nasty single hoot.

The chief laughed loudly, “Let’s just assume that was a yes. And Snowflake said she is not stupid.”

They walked for a half-hour and came to a fork in the road. One side was sunny with birds chirping, while the other was total blackness, with no movement or noise whatsoever. The sheriff looked at the bird. “Let me guess, Snowflake: the black side?”

He got a sarcastic hoot.

They took one step in and everything behind them disappeared. The sheriff tried to talk but no noise came out. They could hear the owl hooting in front of them. They followed the noise. After an hour, they started to feel a breeze behind their backs. It got stronger with each step. Snowflake’s hoots became more agitated and high-pitched.

The wind got so strong it pulled them off their feet and they went through another rough vortex. The screaming sheriff surprised John and Victoria as he came through the other side. The chief landed on the sand in between Victoria and John.

The sheriff landed in the water. The Glarff headed straight towards him. He pumped six bullets into it. The Glarff squealed and backed off. Snowflake landed in the dead tree and her hoot sounded like a derisive laugh to the sheriff. He trudged out of the water. The water level started to rise.

The chief spoke quickly. “We have to get out of here. The two demons are strong and they are on their way here. They can only be controlled if they are shocked out of focusing their full concentration. The chief started to glow and turned into a giant bald eagle.

The two demons appeared in the distance and fired a bolt of red lightning, just as the chief flew off with everyone, except for Snowflake the owl. She had flown back to block the lightning from hitting Victoria. The bolt hit her instead and she fell unconscious toward the water. Victoria just managed to grab her by the leg as she went airborne with the eagle.