The Change (Fated Series: book1)

Brandon

(Alpha by marriage. Rover Grove's Pack House)

Brandon’s eyes shot open discovering the hot summer night was still young. He felt restless. The cool breeze coming through the open window was enough to ruffle Juliet’s hair and to bring her scent to him. She was sleeping peacefully, snuggled into his side. Calm, relaxed and beautiful. He could not stop himself and lovingly brushed a long strand of blond hair away from her face. She was the reason for his happiness. She was his everything. Yet, even her presence so close to him was not enough to calm his nerves.

He leaned in to kiss her. Before his lips could touch her delicate skin, his heart skipped a beat. It was highly unusual experience, one that he immediately recognized as what it was. Nessa had finally severed all ties with him. Even though he knew it was inevitable, and should have happened years ago, he was caught off guard. He wasn’t as irreplaceable as he had convinced himself.

His lips landed on Juliet’s cheek not as gracefully as he had planned. Juliet stirred before her eyelids opened, taking him in as so many times before.

“Is everything all right?” Her voice was full of sleep, yet managed to carry seductive nuance he did not miss.

“It will be. Go to sleep, Beautiful.”

Brandon kissed her hair, then quietly headed towards the restroom. He quietly closed the door behind him then focused on his breathing, which was as irregular as his heartbeat. Just like so many years ago when he had realized his childhood friend was his mate, Brandon had to hold it together for the sake of the world. He needed to relearn how to breathe on his own, as his heart ceased to be linked to hers. There were certain things about the ramifications of the rejection that no book could describe. This was one of them. The emptiness spread through the mind connection, across his body and settled into his heart. The remnant of his mating bond with Vanessa was now completely dissolved.

Gone.

He had been expecting her acceptance for years. Their connection once fierce and consuming had dwindled away to barely recognizing the general direction she was at, and his gut feeling she was fine. But now that her acceptance had come to pass, he felt rejected. There was nothing but emptiness. His mind reached for Nessa, tried to push through the nothingness. There wasn’t even a wall, dividing them. Her presence had simply vanished.

Brandon didn’t know if he should be happy or sad. She certainly deserved happiness and for that he should be happy. Right? The pang in it all was the realization she might have finally come to accept the rejection as she had moved on with someone else. The thought of Nessa in the arms of a nameless shifter, had his wolf howling in pain. Even after years since his rejection, his wolf craved hers. She might have turned out to be the most infuriating she-wolf he had the displeasure of knowing, but for his wolf she continued to be his true mate. Brandon took a deep breath and tried to chase the sorrow away. It was pointless wishing the past to yield another present. You only got the here and now, and Brandon’s particularly looked stormy at best, with a high chance of thunder and pain.

“You got hung up on things you get used to. And yes, Nessa is just that,” he explained to himself the hollowness he felt.

There was no surprise he felt like a part of him had disappeared. Brandon had grown up with Nessa. The brunette had always been the constant in his life. She was his neighbor, and her brother - his best friend. They have skimmed their knees, figured out school and pack life together. Since her eighteenth birthday, Nessa had been his fated mate and a part of his life he could never erase.

But now she was gone. After years of silence, he could not believe she accepted his rejection.

He didn’t want her. No. He could never have her again. His life had a mission and he could not harbor any romantic feelings for her. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel hurt by her acceptance to his rejection. A piece of his life was now missing. It left sorrow, soreness and pain in his life. He could now understand why she isolated herself or why she avoided him like the plague. She had held onto her end of their relationship and suffered on the sidelines while Brandon was too busy making something of his own life. No wonder on the few occasions they had met, Nessa was borderline hostile and bitter.

It was understandable. He wouldn’t want to see himself either, if he were in her situation. He still felt bad for immature and selfish way he handled their break-up. He had been a pompous know-it-all even when he did not have to. He had told himself it was for her own good. She needed to hate him in order to survive. He wouldn’t have been able to go through with the plan if he knew there was still a chance. He was weak and could not stay away from her. He needed her to do it for him.

He didn’t know shit. Not then, and certainly not now. If he did, he would have handled the whole situation differently. He would have sat her down and explained himself, instead of cheating on her and insulting her once she confronted him. To add insult to injury, Brandon was certain she had felt every touch, kiss and caress through their mind link. Brandon reluctantly admitted he could not shield his thoughts for months after he became the Alpha. Marrying into the Alpha bloodline was not the same as being born with the rank. Brandon had to spend months in training both physical and spiritual just to level the plain field.

Brandon could only imagine her pain. He was ready to kick his own ass for causing a pack mate so much pain. He needed to make things right again.

Apologize to her. Make it up to her.

After all it was nothing personal. He didn’t even want her now, did he?