The Castle Mount Book One of The Adventures of a Time Whore

Cayden finally rolled out of the makeshift bed, and stretched out in all his naked glory. I could have watched for hours. And he was watching me watch. Finally, he dressed and I realized I was at a disadvantage. He picked up the shred of cloth that was my shirt last night and sighed.

“I’m afraid we don’t have much in the way of ladies’ clothing.”

“S’ok, I’m not much in the way of a lady.” Again with the smirk that made me get warm in all the right places. “Pants and shirt would be just fine.”

“That I can do.” He called for a servant who must have been standing right outside the freaking door of the tent. “Bring her some clothes from the stable boys. Clean!”

The servant bowed and left and returned only a few minutes later with a pile of clothes that didn’t smell nearly as bad as the stuff Costumes had made me wear to get here. I was going to have to talk to them about that.

I dressed while he watched.

I could see that it wasn’t all that late in the morning as we walked out of the tent. A few of the fires were just being stoked and breakfast was just starting to be served. I was glad we’d had the fresh fruit. The gruel being made for the rank and file smelled every bit as good as it the greenish-brown slop looked.

We approached a rather large group of soldiers who must have been waiting for their meal. As we got closer I could hear that they were talking about last night. I recognized Shitface’s voice.

“…something not right about that one. Power like the devil. She disappeared and reappeared in different places. She has the strength of an animal – “

“I’m flattered.” The whole group looked my way. Quickly glancing at Cayden, they all bowed slightly, but then the attention turned back to me. I glanced at Cayden to make sure he wasn’t going to be mad if I had a little fun with his boys. The glint in his eyes told me to go for it.

“You make me out to be a terrifying opponent.” I could see that the listeners were already starting to enjoy this. Like I said, I’m 5’9”, so I’m not small, especially not back in those days, but I certainly don’t look like the beast they were describing. At least I don’t think I do.

“I mean no disrespect, Majesty, but that one must be a witch. I beg of you, be careful she doesn’t cast a spell on you.”

“Yeah, I might turn you into a newt.” If you watched old vids you’d be rolling with laughter right now.

“I’m terrified.” Cayden moved a step away from me and gave me a once over as if seeing me for the first time. “Why, you might be right, O’Greer. She must have enchanted me. It’s obvious she’s really a dangerous brute. I can only be grateful I escaped with my life last night.”

“Sire, no one could have fought as she did without the help of the devil.”

“Well, no devil here right now, is there? How about I give you a second chance to kick my ass?”

O’Greer, or the man formerly known as Shitface, stepped back from me and bumped into the guy behind him. And his associates got a huge laugh out of it. Only one way to save face. He had to take me on. Hey, he started it!

I took another look over at Cayden who nodded his approval with a lopsided smile. “You’re not going to need him for a little while, are you?”

“Nothing scheduled for today, thank you for asking”.

Ok, so I could make this really fun. “Where’s your buddies from last night?” O’Greer looked into the crowd and just by their faces I could see who he was looking at.

“Come on, re-enactment.” I took off my coat and threw it to a boy who had been cooking over the fire but who was now enthralled by the goings on. Purely for effect, I stretched a bit, letting the guys get a good look at the delicate little creature who beat up three of their men last night.

“Surely you’re not going to back away from a fight, O’Greer” Cayden added. “She can’t call upon Satan in the morning light, you know.”

“Of course not, sire. But…she’s your guest. I shouldn’t think you would want – “

“I want what she wants. You insult her by calling her a witch, in league with Satan. Let her prove her innocence. If she can’t, we can burn her.”

Nice! I shot him a look to make sure he wasn’t serious. I didn’t get much comfort from the smirk he offered.

O’Greer came out of the crowd and the whole group formed a circle around us.

“Oh, one on one wouldn’t be fair.” From the huge black eye, I guessed that the third guy from last night’s fun was standing in the circle. I pointed at him. “You were there last night, right?” He flinched just a teeny bit and nodded.

“Let’s show them how it went.” I motioned for him to join O’Greer and me in the center. When he didn’t jump out, I’m happy to say his fellow soldiers shoved him into the circle. “Who was the other?” Since I’d only kicked him in the stomach, there was no real way to tell who Not Shitface was. But O’Greer was happy to sell him out. He too joined us.

Dillon had given me plenty of material on battle tactics in the middle ages. Far from sophisticated, it mostly revolved around beating each other with sharp, heavy objects, often from the backs of horses. We weren’t using swords or shields and we weren’t on horses, so I had an immediate advantage. I was used to quick, close quarters fighting; these guys weren’t. I had a strategy set in my head before Not Shitface even stepped in the ring.

I saw a few of the soldiers get money out and start betting as the three of them surrounded me. They weren’t betting on me, though, not surprisingly. Then Cayden shocked the crap out of me.

“I’ll cover all bets against the girl.” Money started pouring out of pockets. I grinned and nodded at him.

The fight took all of ninety seconds. They just weren’t ready for it. Each blow I landed was meant to incapacitate, but not do serious damage. The roar of laughter grew louder as each one bit it. Yeah, they were losing money, but it would give them a tale to tell at the pub that should at least be good for a few rounds of drinks.

“Anyone else?” I was still itching to go. Getting to spar like this without my life being in danger was fantastic. In the training ring, no matter how good the combatants, you don’t really try to put anyone down. You fight till it’s obvious that someone won and step off. Here, I could have a blast. These guys were tough, they could take a substantial amount of punishment, and it felt good to give it to them in a sadistic sort of way. Can I blame that on genetics as well?

A tree trunk of a guy moved into the ring. If we’d been using swords, I would have been really worried. He obviously had me for sheer strength. But take out the pointy objects and add quickness and a solid knowledge of physiology and I had him cold. He took three huge steps toward me, and swung. I used his own momentum against him by catching his arm and pulling him forward with as much force as I could muster. Unbalanced, he spun into the crowd. They caught him and threw him back in. Helpful lot, that.

His second charge, he was just trying to catch me. Probably planning on picking me up and breaking my spine. I decided I didn’t want him to do that. I stood straight and still until he was just an arms length away, then I bent in half, under his outreached arms, and tackled him like a football dummy. The wind that came out of him could have felled a tree. The stench alone. While still pushing on his upper body, I hooked one of my legs around one of the redwoods he was standing on and tugged. He went down, I held him feet under my arms. He wiggled and squirmed desperately and it took everything I had to hold on, but eventually, he gave in. Poor baby. More laughs from the gallery.

Two more stepped forward and I took them down with only a little more effort. A girl does get winded, you know. By the time the seventh man stepped up, Cayden was done.

“Enough. She’s embarrassed you all enough for one day. I don’t want her to exhaust herself. I do have other uses for her.” The boys loved that one.

“Come.” Cayden reached a hand out to me. I straightened my clothes, took my coat back from the cook and took Cayden’s hand. “I guess we won’t be burning anyone at the stake tonight.”

“Glad to hear it.” I brushed off a little dust I’d gotten on my shirt.