The Brightest Light of Sunshine

The next few days are hectic, a whirlwind of events and emotions I’m not sure how I get through in one piece.

As promised, I get a call from CPS the morning after the accident only to find out that my mother has been fined for child neglect, but that she’s also signed a temporary guardianship agreement stating her wish for me to become Maddie’s legal guardian until she comes out of rehab.

I already know that’s code for ‘forever.’

The lady I talk to assures me that a written consent from our mother helps speed up the process and makes it easier for me to be granted Maddie’s custody. Because, apparently, there’s a slim chance I can be denied. Imagine that.

Since Pete is gone and unreachable and my mother’s an only child whose parents died when I was a boy, I’m the only family member left. It’s more than enough.

Maddie can’t go back to school in at least another week since it would be too risky for her stitches if she engaged in any demanding physical activity. Which means I have to cut my appointments at the parlor in half and take Maddie with me to each of them.

Trey has been nothing but a great friend and a loyal co-worker for the past few days, and it helps that my clients are so understanding too. They all but coo at my little sister when she comes to either draw or watch something on my iPad while I work. It’s not ideal, but Inkjection is a two-man show and I can’t leave Trey hanging for a whole week. We’d lose a shit ton of money, and now I need it more than ever.

Grace stops by the parlor every day to play with Maddie or take her for a walk. She hasn’t slept at my place since the accident, and we have barely talked at all. I needed time—I still do—, and the fact that she respects that without allowing it to affect her relationship with Maddie speaks volumes.

I love Grace. There isn’t even a shred of a doubt in my heart about my feelings for her. She’s it for me. My present, my future, my everything.

But I need to come to terms with our new situation first.

I want to give her enough time to think things through. The last thing I want is for her to agree to all of this only to come to me in a couple of months and say, “Hey. I changed my mind, by the way. Fuck this co-parenting shit, I’m out.”

Granted, she would never say anything even remotely close to that, but the sentiment still stands. She could regret her decision if we rush into this, and I’d rather lose her now than in a few months when I fall even more in love with her.

Because I know I will. It’s impossible not to.

Aaron also stops by the shop every other day to help me with Maddie, and it’s obvious how hard he tries not to bring up Grace to me. She probably warned him against it, which I’m thankful for. Grace-talk is something I can’t handle right now, even if she occupies my thoughts all day every day.

There’s something else taking over my mind these days, though.

Three weeks after the accident and already in talks with my lawyer about filing for Maddie’s permanent guardianship, I started looking for a bigger place to live. My apartment is cool and all that, but it’s not the place I see myself raising my sister in from now on. She needs a backyard to run around and play, a bigger bedroom she can organize sleepovers in and overall, a home to grow up in. This two-bedroom apartment isn’t it.

However, no matter how many nice houses I see online, I can’t bring myself to sign a lease just yet. And I know exactly what is holding me back. Who is.

That’s why, exactly forty-six days after the accident that turned the wheel of our fate forever, I find myself in front of an empty TDP with a bouquet of flowers in my hand and a single question on my lips.

***

Grace

Life for the past month and a half has been… quite miserable, actually.

Cal asked for time, and that’s what I’ve been giving him. Still, I saw Maddie every day after the accident because how could I not? I wasn’t joking when I told him I think of her as my own little sister, as every bit of my family as he is.

Other not-so-miserable things have happened in the meantime, of course. For example, I wrapped up my final draft of Gracie and Sammy: Undercover Detectives and Céline is helping me with the whole formatting shebang because, despite my age, I can’t figure out technology to save my life. This means I’ll be able to turn in my final project way before it’s due, which takes a heavy weight off my shoulders—the biggest, since the rest of my college work is pretty much a walk in the park compared to fighting off my impostor syndrome demons. Those little shits.

It didn’t really register how much time Cal and I spent together until we don’t see each other as often anymore. Now my days feel emptier, duller.

Don’t get me wrong—I’ve lived my whole life without a man by my side and I can keep doing it, no problem. The thing is I don’t want to.

Cal is everything to me, and these past few weeks without seeing much of him only have solidified my feelings. He’s my best friend, my rock, my safe haven, my home. I feel our bond withering away like a flower without rain and too much sunshine, and sometimes it hurts to exist.

When my head becomes too loud and thoughts that aren’t really mine threaten my peace of mind, I turn to the only thing that has always managed to bring me back to Earth.

The studio is empty after our last class of the day. I dim the lights and turn on the soft music, allowing the familiar notes of Pachelbel to take the reins instead. And I dance.

Without a routine in mind, I simply let my feet lead the way. I don’t want to think—I just need to feel.

My eyes close on their own accord as the music flows through me. Dancing has helped through every storm, every fog, and every landslide I’ve been through since I was a small girl. It is how my soul and heart grow, how I nurture every part of me that I normally don’t have access to. No matter whether I seek it or not, dancing heals me.

Adelaide has always told me that dancing is another way to speak. And as the song ends, I hear my body talk loud and clear.

“Beautiful.”

Only that it’s not my body talking.

I turn in the direction of the deep voice, a hand pressed over my heart as it jumps out of my chest, and I gasp, “What are you doing here?”

Both hands behind his back, Cal steps into the classroom and walks up to me, stopping only when a few inches separate us. “I wanted to see you.”

He is… He is here. For me.

“These are for you,” he says, and a second later his hand comes forward holding a stunning bouquet of pink azaleas that immediately makes my eyes water. “Don’t cry, sunshine.”

“I’m not crying,” I deny like an idiot while wiping away my very obvious tears.

He chuckles. Chuckles. I haven’t heard a more beautiful sound in forty-six days. “Come here.”

Erasing the painful distance between our bodies, I throw my arms around his neck and hold him tightly in case he ever wants me to let go again—because I won’t allow it. And that’s a threat.

“I love you so much,” he whispers against my neck, his arms coming around my body to hug me closer. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Cal. More than anything.” I squeeze him, and he squeezes me right back. “I don’t want to be away from you ever again, you hear me?”

“I hear you, sunshine.” When we pull away, he cups my cheek with his free hand and promises me, “Never again.”

His mouth is warm when it finally meets mine, and I sigh into his kiss. All the tension leaves my body at once. Cal is gentle as he licks my bottom lip, nipping softly at it before the tip of his tongue parts the seam of my lips and, with a groan, slides it into my mouth. I whimper with need as our tongues meet, his hand holding my cheek and my arms still wrapped around his neck.

He tastes like the rain our flower needs to bloom again.

Breathing heavily, he pulls away in the same gentle way our lips came together. “Come back home to me.”

Home.

I hold his face, the pads of my thumbs caressing the short stubble on his cheeks. “I hope you want me to stay, because I’m not going anywhere.”

He kisses me again, gentle and quick, before pulling away once more and saying, “Don’t worry, I intend to keep you forever.”

He hands me the azaleas, and I almost whimper at the loss of his warm body against mine until it registers what he’s doing.

Without saying another word, Cal gets down on one knee and reaches for his back pocket.

My whole body stops responding all at once, except for the hand that flies to my mouth to hide my shock.

“It’s not what it looks like.” He smirks as he brings a small, shiny object forward. It’s a key. “No matter how badly I want to marry the fuck out of you, I know it’s still soon and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. But I do have one question for you, sunshine, if you want to hear it.”

I give him a silent, shocked nod.

Cal holds up the small key between his fingers. “For the past few weeks, I’ve been looking at houses in the suburbs. Family neighborhoods. And since that’s what you are to me, Grace, and that’s what I want to build with you, will you do me the honor of moving in with me? And with Maddie, of course.”

My fingers shake around the bouquet. “D-Do you have a new house?”

“Not yet,” he says. “I have looked at a bunch of nice rentals, but I haven’t made up my mind about any of them because I want us to choose one together. For us, for our family. So, Grace, will you—”

“Yes!”

I throw myself into his arms, tackling him to the ground, and he laughs as he hugs me against his chest. “Thank God.”

“You really thought I was going to say no?” I arch a playful eyebrow.

He gives me a quick peck on the lips. “Not really, but it still feels good to hear it.”

I kiss him again for good measure. “So… When are we moving in?”

“You finish your classes in just a couple of months, right? We could do it then.”

I nod. “It sounds perfect.” However, I don’t allow the bliss to blind me for too long. “We haven’t talked much in the past few weeks. How is Maddie holding up?”

Cal sobers up instantly, but the tension from a month ago is long gone from his handsome features. “I told her Mom wasn’t feeling well, and that she needed to live somewhere else for a while to get better. It wasn’t easy for the first week. She cried a lot, but since she loves living with me, I guess she’s getting used to the idea more easily. She can still visit my mom, so that’s good.”

“What about Pete?” I smooth a hand through his dark hair, and he leans into my touch. “Has she asked about him?”

“Yes, and it was more complicated to tell her about him since… Well, since he’s probably never coming back.” He swallows. “I found a therapist last week. She’s gone twice so far, and she likes it.”

“That’s amazing, Cal.” I press a kiss to the tip of his nose, making him smile. “You’re doing all the right things. It won’t be easy, but Maddie is a strong little girl, and she has the most amazing older brother in the universe taking care of her.”

His eyes sparkle under the dim lights of the studio. “And she has you.”

“And she has me. She has us.” I give him a soft smile. “She has a family who loves her more than anything. Everything will be all right, Cal. I promise.”

He presses his forehead against mine and whispers, “I love you, sunshine. And I’ll love you until my last breath, until I’m nothing but a whisper in the wind.”

My eyes fill with tears as I say, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t wait for our future together.”

“Our future is already here, love.”

And when he kisses me with that gentleness again, I can feel the truth in the way my universe shifts and pauses on my destination.

Because this is where I belong. I’m finally here.