The Brightest Light of Sunshine

The clock is ticking.

Unbeknownst to me, sitting at the back of the café with Luke a couple of days after coming back from visiting my dads, the wheels of fate are turning and about to click into place in just a handful of hours.

Right now, though, my cold hands wrap around the steaming hot chocolate mug, seeking any kind warmth, while my feet tap nervously on the wooden floor. Luke closes the laptop moments later and brings his own mug to his lips, smirking smugly as he takes a sip.

“Don’t be an ass.” I narrow my eyes at him, anxiously waiting for his feedback. “What did you think? It’s only the first draft, so…”

“Relax.” He sets his coffee down and taps his knuckles on my laptop. “I like it a lot, Grace. The storyline makes sense, and the characters are well-crafted. The dog is definitely a plus. I left a couple of comments, but I really don’t see any major issues with it.”

My feet stop their obnoxious tapping, and I manage to breathe a little easier. “For real?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re my friend,” he reassures me, and I believe him.

Luke has been nothing but that for the past few weeks. It says a lot about him that he remained such a good sport after I turned him down. He knows about Cal, and even told me that he’d seen it coming. That we made sense together.

He still comes by The Teal Rose every other Saturday morning and was excited to be a beta reader for my first draft, which I couldn’t be more grateful for.

“It would be a good idea if you read it to a couple of children and see if they’d enjoy it,” he adds. “Someone from your family, maybe?”

My mind drifts to Maddie and her love for books. Sure, this is no princess or mermaid story, but there is a Sammy. It should be enough to grab her attention. “I can do that.”

We stay at the café for nearly another hour, catching up until he has to leave for lacrosse practice. I’m free for the rest of the day, and I know Em is too, so I send her a quick text to see what she’s up to. When I got to our dorm this morning after spending the night at Cal’s, she wasn’t there. Now that I think about it I haven’t heard from her since yesterday.

It’s probably nothing. If something bad had happened, I’m sure our friends would’ve let me know by now… right?

I’m about to start for our doom when, to my relief, my phone buzzes with a text.

Em: Hey babe. Sorry I’ve been MIA. I’m busy rn, but I’ll see you later? x

A busy Emily isn’t out of the ordinary so, with a calm heart, I leave campus.

My stomach rumbling is indicative enough that I need to fill it with something before I get cranky, hence why I find myself at The Spoon twenty minutes later, waiting for my order.

One of the waitresses tells me Aaron isn’t coming until tonight, so I decide to grab something for him too and leave for his apartment. On his days off, he’s either at the gym, lounging in front of the TV or playing some random game—with Cal, sometimes—so looking for him at his home is a no-brainer.

After knocking on his apartment door ten minutes later, though, I realize my mistake.

I always text him when I’m about to come over, but this time I totally forgot about it. And that is a huge mistake because as much as I wish I was, I’m not imagining the female voice on the other side of the door right now.

“I got it, babe,” Aaron tells this mysterious woman as he rustles around with the keys.

Babe?! Who the hell is b—

“Grace?” A second later, my eyes collide with my cousin’s bare chest and panicked expression. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

As it turns out, I’m not the only one too stunned to move right now.

Because right behind Aaron, wearing the same panicked expression and one of his t-shirts with nothing else underneath, is my best friend.

Emily.

***

“This is exactly what it looks like,” is the first thing Emily says to me when she comes back from Aaron’s room after thankfully putting her leggings back on.

She’s my best friend and I’ve seen her in her underwear before, but it doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with her nakedness now that I know exactly why she was half-naked before I walked in.

Ew. Mental image, please go away.

The food I brought from The Spoon sits on the coffee table next to a couple of pizza boxes the delivery guy dropped off not even five minutes ago, looking less appealing than ever. Apparently, Aaron thought I was him and that’s why he didn’t bother to check who was on the other side of his door before he opened it.

My cousin is currently munching on an extra bacon-y slice, and for a second, I wish he choked on it just to see him suffer a little.

Because I’m suffering a lot right now.

“Are either of you going to give me a real explanation like, today?” I glare at the traitors, who look like they don’t have a care in the world despite me essentially walking in on them doing… whatever it was they were doing.

“There’s not much to explain,” Aaron says with his mouth full. Gross.

“I thought you didn’t like each other?” I arch an eyebrow towards my friend, who I very vividly remember pushing my cousin’s buttons not long ago, and not in the nicest way.

She shrugs and opens the pizza box, taking a slice for herself. “We fight sometimes, but it’s like foreplay.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter in disbelief, hiding my face behind my hands so I don’t have to look at these two disgusting idiots. She did not just say that.

Aaron claps me on my shoulder like I’m one of his bro-dudes and they haven’t just scarred me for life. “Chill, G. Everything’s cool, we’re just having fun.”

I look at my friend again only because she’s the one with the most brain cells between these two. “So, what, you’re like, friends with benefits now? How long have you been hooking up?”

“A month? Maybe two?” Aaron replies instead.

I snap my head in his direction. “That long?! Why didn’t you tell me that you were fooling around with my best friend?”

He glares at me. “Just like you told me right away that you were dating Cal?”

“Touché,” Emily chimes in.

“Okay, whatever.” I let myself fall against the back of the couch with a defeated sigh. “So what’s the plan?”

“The plan is to keep doing what we’re doing,” Emily says as she takes another slice and gestures to the box. “Help yourself, babe. There’s enough for everyone.”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” I murmur.

My brain doesn’t have enough time to process this life-altering information before Aaron wraps an arm around my neck and pulls me towards him. “Let me go, you animal!” I try pushing him away as he starts attacking my forehead with kisses, but it’s pretty obvious that he has no plans to stop until he wants to.

Defeated, I sigh against his chest, and admit after a few seconds of contemplative, dramatic silence, “I just don’t want to take sides if you guys fall out and it gets ugly.”

“We would never put you in that position,” Emily assures me.

“Plus, if you and Cal ever break up, you’ll put me in that position as well,” Aaron reasons. Then, he quickly adds, “I don’t think you’ll ever break up, that’s not what I mean. What I’m trying to say is that every situation has the potential to become a mess if we don’t face it with understanding and the right attitude. And I know you’re capable of those things, so I’m not worried.”

“Me neither.” Emily smiles. “See, Grace, we’re all adults here. I know this thing between us may feel weird to you for a while, but this… agreement we have going on is what we both want now, and we would really appreciate your support.”

“Of course you have my support. Not that you need it anyway, but you have it,” I reassure them. “It feels… new, nothing else. I’ll get used to it.”

And I know I will. If two of the most important people in my life find happiness together, who am I to stand in the way?

“Wait.” I turn to Em as a sudden understanding washes over me. “All those times you told me you were with a friend… You were with him?”

My best friend puts her hands up in mock surrender. “Guilty as charged, babe.”

“I can’t believe you.” I glare at her for what feels like the hundredth time today, but I can’t hide my smile. I shake my head and reach for the takeout bag I brought. The food is probably cold by now. “Well, now that’s out of the way, would either of you be interested in reading the children’s book I wrote for class?”

For the next two hours, the three of us sit in Aaron’s living room with some action movie playing in the background, even though none of us are paying attention. They ask me about our trip to my hometown, what my dads think of Cal, and how I’m feeling about my new relationship status. Since they both know about my assault, I’m free to talk openly about it. Not that there’s much to tell in the first place.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt happier or more alive in… Well, ever. Being with Cal not only makes me feel loved and safe—it makes me feel valid, valuable, confident, like what I do and say matters.

Before him, I already knew those things thanks to years of therapy and my amazing support system—of which the two people in front of me are and will always be part of. But being with him, knowing that he’s mine and I’m his, knowing that I make him as happy as he makes me… It’s truly an indescribable feeling.

Every time we are together feels like an energy boost, like nothing could ever stop or hurt me. Like, with his love and support, I can do anything.

I know it’s silly. I knew I could be an unstoppable force before I met him, but now it all comes easier. Natural, like a new part of me I planted within myself years ago is finally blooming.

They say love cannot save you, that you must save yourself first. I don’t think that’s always true. I think you have to be the one to plant that first seed of salvation and allow love to water it until it grows into the most beautiful, strong flower capable of surviving it all.

It’s a team effort, and Cal and I are one hell of a team.

Maybe that’s why, after two hours and three unread texts, I start to worry a little.

He’s working, I know this, but he always takes time between appointments to text me back even if it’s just one word or some laughing emojis. An ‘I love you.’

But because he’s not answering and he still has a couple of hours more to go, I stay with Aaron and Emily and submit myself to the torturous story of how this whole arrangement between them started.

“I didn’t like him at first, that much is true.” Emily has her feet draped across his lap as she munches on a bag of caramel popcorn. “But one night we ended up at the same party, and when some random guy wouldn’t leave me alone your cousin here threatened to beat him up. It kinda turned me on, not gonna lie.”

“Too much information.”

“Don’t be a baby.” Aaron grabs my ankle and squeezes it. When I smack his hand away, the dumbass only laughs.

“And the rest is pretty much history,” Emily says and pops a single popcorn into her mouth.

“Thank you for sparing me the traumatic details,” I deadpan.

“Hey! I literally walked in on Cal and you sucking face the other day, so shut your mouth, young lady.” Aaron points an accusing finger in my direction. “That was traumatic.”

I roll my eyes. “Live with it, loser.”

He’s about to reply when my phone goes off with a call. One look at the caller ID and my stomach sinks, a sick feeling settling in. “It’s Cal.”

Don’t ask me how I know everything’s just gone to shit. I just do. I don’t need to take this call to find out my instincts were right, but of course I do anyway.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” I ask, chewing on my thumb nail.

For a few seconds, only loud breathing meets me from the other line. There’s background noise I’m too nervous to make out right now.

“Cal?” I ask again because he’s not saying anything and I’m about to throw up. From the corner of my eye, Aaron and Emily sit up straight on the couch, paying attention.

When Cal finally lets out the words, his voice husky and pained, my whole world stops and crumbles at my feet.

“It’s Maddie. There’s been an accident. She’s… Fuck. She’s at the hospital.”