The Book of Azrael (Gods & Monsters 1)

MY HAND STAYED RAISED AS IF TO KNOCK. It was the same thing I had done back in the Vanderkai’s mansion when I couldn’t sleep but refused to stay with her. I was hesitating for the same reasons. The lights flickered downstairs as the celestial couple made what smelled like tea and settled in for the night. I allowed my knuckles to fall, knocking lightly on the door.

‘Dianna.’

‘I’m fine.’ I heard the rustle of sheets and a sniffle.

I didn’t bother waiting, concern, a tight ache in my gut as I opened the door.

I saw a brief glimpse of her eyes before she nestled back into the thick comforter. She had another thick faux fur blanket on top of that. Her dark hair stuck out the top as she curled into herself.

‘I said I’m fine.’ Was her muffled response.

‘What’s wrong? Are you crying?’

‘No.’

I walked further into the small room, shutting the door behind me quietly. This room, like mine, was small. A bed took up the right side with a small bathroom close to it and a closet on the left. No other furniture or chairs graced it. A window took up the farthest wall, the sheer curtains not blocking the sight of the snow that fell, blanketing everything in a thick coat of white. I felt a draft run through the room. Was she cold?

‘Dianna.’

‘I said I’m fine. Go to bed. Don’t we have to be up early or something? Isn’t that what you and Logan said?’

I took another step closer. ‘Eavesdropping?’

‘The house is small.’

I glanced around the room. ‘That it is, and it is drafty. The weather too. I was unaware it snowed this time of the year.’

I was aware I was rambling like a mad man, but I would say and do anything to stay with her. I did not care how idiotic I sounded.

‘I’m tired, Liam. Go to bed. We can talk in the morning,’ she said, nestling further into her blanket cocoon. She wanted me to leave. Was she avoiding me after everything?

Fine. I moved to the other side of the bed, lifting the covers she’d wound so tightly around herself and scooted inside.

She turned to look at me, exhaustion dulling her eyes. ‘What are you doing?’

‘You told me to go to bed, and so that’s what I am doing.’

‘Not here. You have your own.’

‘I don’t want my own.’ And, I didn’t. I needed to be close to her. I’d almost lost her. Couldn’t she see that?

A pained expression crossed her face as she regarded me. ‘Aren’t you afraid of what your precious celestials will think?’

So that’s what this was about?

‘No. And besides, I’m cold.’

She scoffed as she laid down hard enough to make the small bed shake and creak. ‘Gods don’t get cold.’

I copied her position, lying facing her. Close but not close enough to touch.

‘Oh yeah? So you know a lot?’

I saw her shoulder lift in a shrug. ‘Only one super annoying one.’

My lips curved in a small smile. I would take any quip or jab she threw at me as long as she was okay.

‘Did you call your sister?’

She looked away. ‘No.’

‘Why?’ That concerned me.

‘I don’t want her to worry and I’m too tired to act like I am okay tonight.’

It was quiet again for a long moment. The silence between us I hated more than anything. I wanted to fix what was so broken between us and yet with all my strength and power I did not know how. Images flashed before my eyes of us back in the forest before the attack. How she spoke to me, looked at me and how her lips parted before she was taken. Words I wanted to speak bubbled in my throat and yet they remained trapped there. I tried to force it, but when I spoke, what I said had nothing to do with how I felt.

‘We should probably get some sleep. We need to leave at first light. Logan is arranging space for us on a convoy tomorrow morning. We are close to where Azrael’s daughter lives, but after everything that has happened, we both need some rest.’ 

Dianna glanced at me, her eyes scanning my face as if she expected me to say something else. I didn’t. She nodded and rolled away from me, and I silently cursed myself. What was wrong with me? Dianna was not like anyone I knew. She was tying me up in knots. I had slain creatures the size of stars and yet this fiery, headstrong woman made me—nervous. I needed to tell her how I felt, but I first had to figure out what I was feeling. I grimaced, already able to hear Cameron’s mocking laughter if he ever found out. Gods, all of them.

I absently rubbed my hand across my face as I stared at her back. She’d wrapped herself in as many of the covers

as she could, leaving me with practically none. I lifted the covers closest to me and fit my body to her back.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, her body tensing.

‘I’m getting close to you for warmth. I told you I was cold.’

She snorted and then let out a yip when my feet touched the bare skin of her ankles.  ‘Gods, you are cold! You weren’t lying.’

I smiled. I wouldn’t mention that I could control my body temperature. It was necessary that I be close to her, and if that meant a small lie of omission, I could live with that. When she’d vanished, I had been terrified I would never see her again.

‘No, I wasn’t.’ 

With a big sigh, she nestled back against me. She grabbed my wrist and pulled it over her, pressing my hand against her abdomen. The same way we had slept before on the nights my terrors overcame me violently. I held her close, my head buried in the crook of her neck, and counted every heartbeat, every breath. For the first time in weeks I relaxed the tension leaving my shoulders. The old ones spoke of absolute peace beyond worlds beyond realms and when I held Dianna I felt it. Absolute peace. A feeling I had been searching for so damned long. I took a breath breathing in her scent as she seemed to shiver beside me.

Too close again.

Too close.

I was allowing myself to get too close to her again, but I did not care this time. My body relaxed as I savored the feel of her here and whole and not taken. They had almost succeeded, almost dragged her back to him and away from me. Fear still quivered through me as I propped my head up. I just needed to make sure she was okay.

The curve of her shoulder was exposed by the overly large clothing, and I brushed my hand over it as I shifted her hair to the side. She shivered and I stopped, afraid I had hurt her. Was she still sore? Tender? I did not know if I had truly healed her completely.

‘What’s wrong?’  Worry edged my brow ‘Are you still in pain? Wounded?’

‘No.’ Her voice sounded like a breathless whisper. ‘Your rings—they’re cold.’ 

Relief flooded through me. ‘My apologies.’ My lips curved in a small satisfied smile. Smooth skin met my finger as I ran it lightly down her neck, tracing the exposed flesh I could see. My mind flashed back to her tears and blood. My chest and gut ached, but she was fine now. She was safe. Her skin was unmarred, no more gashes lined her shoulders or throat.

‘I am sorry if I hurt you when I healed you.’

I could see the edge of her grin over her shoulder. It was short but it was enough.

 ‘You know, you apologize a lot for royalty.’

My smile was genuine. ‘You keep telling me.’

It was quiet once more as I caressed the few loose hairs from her cheek. I scanned the edge of her face. There were no marks, no bruises, no bullet holes. My traitorous mind willingly supplied the memory of the sound of the gun, her falling, and Santiago’s grin. Death would be a kindness once I was finished with him.

The bed shifted as she rolled to her side, facing me. I cupped her shoulder, caressing the silky warmth of her skin.

‘You came for me,’ she said, looking up at me through her thick lashes. I swear, I melted. ‘You saved me even when you didn’t have to. You had the information you needed. You could have left me to find the book, but you came for me.’

I was shocked by her statement. It was such a ridiculous notion, and it had never been an option. Who would ever abandon her? Although, given the company she had previously kept, I do see why she would question it.

‘I’d never abandon you.’  

A soft smile graced her face as she raised her hand and lightly ran her fingers through my hair. She had done the same the first night my terrors had struck and I’d almost demolished the motel. I lifted my head, seeking more of her touch, and she cupped my face in both hands. I lowered my forehead to hers, my eyes closed as I savored the feeling. Dianna’s cinnamon scent engulfed me, seeping into my every pore. Her breath mingled with my own as my nose grazed hers. I was suddenly aware of how perfectly her body fit against mine and how it would be the death of me. We were both silent, the trauma of the last few hours weighing heavy between us.

‘I tried to fight, but there were too many of them.’

‘You did perfectly.’

She shook her head from side to side, her forehead rocking against mine and our noses rubbing. ‘No, no, I didn’t. I am not that strong’

I opened my eyes, pulling back to cradle her face. I brushed my thumbs against her cheekbones until she met my gaze. ‘Dianna. You were outnumbered. I have seen seasoned and blooded warriors fall when attacked by too many.’ I searched those hazel eyes, happy to see they were healed and no longer bloodshot, but whole, pure, and perfect, just like her.

She snorted. ‘I am no warrior.’

‘Yes, you are. Along with being brave, stubborn, crass, and volatile, you are one of the strongest people I know. You fight me on everything. Which is saying a lot, considering everyone trembles when I enter a room.’ She chuckled and closed her eyes. ‘Hey, look at me. You would have to be an ignorant fool to not think you are anything but extraordinary, Dianna.’

Something shifted in those hazel eyes when they met mine. It was small but world-shattering, nonetheless. Her lips slanted over mine, and I froze. For the first time in my entire existence, I froze. Her kiss was light, tantalizing, and everything I never knew I had been missing. She pulled back and looked up at me, her fingers tracing the line of my jaw.

A slow mischievous smile curved her lips. ‘You still have witch breath.’

Something snapped and coiled and burned in me, and I let it.

‘Then fix it.’

I shifted, tucking her beneath me. Our mouths came together with enough force to rattle the heavens above. I could not have explained it even if the gods themselves gave me a century to do so. There were no words to describe how Dianna’s lips felt against mine, but with that first kiss, my gravity had shifted. I may not have the words to do her or what I was feeling justice, but I knew if she would let me, I would happily spend a millennium trying.

My hands ran through the silken tresses I had dreamed of each time I’d allowed myself to dream. I pulled her closer, my body aching as an eternal need I’d never known flared to life, begging to be sated. Every nerve ending I had was suddenly awake and screaming.

I tipped my head to the side, deepening the kiss. She moans softly as my tongue dips past her lips and dances across hers. I tangle my hands in her hair, hoping she won’t pull away, hoping she won’t change her mind. I have kissed and been kissed thousands of times in my lifetime, but nothing compared to this. With the right person, a kiss is so much more than a kiss. It was pure unfiltered ecstasy. A part of my soul had been waiting for this woman and one kiss from her had undone me. A voice I couldn’t ignore quietly insisted that she was what I was missing. It burned and yelled and shouted.

It’s her.

It’s her.

It’s her.

Out of pure instinct, she lifts her hips, pressing against me. I tug her closer, our bodies fitting perfectly together and for the first time in centuries, I feel it. That old familiar feeling rushed through my veins.

Arousal, sharp, intense and burning floods through me and my body reacts so strongly my head spins. I groan as she wraps her legs around me. My hands dropped to her ass, pushing her against me and holding her there as I grind against her. She moans against my mouth, her tongue dancing against mine, and I knew I would move planets to hear it over and over again. Her nails scraped lightly over my nape as she pulled me closer, she sucked on my bottom lip before nipping at it, as if marking every place Camilla had touched as her own. The slight twinge of pain made my cock ache and my blood boiled, leaving any critical thinking part of me long behind. I wanted, no I needed, more. I reverently cupped her breast through the thin fabric of her shirt. My thumb rubbing greedily across her nipple as she moaned, circling her hips hard enough against my growing erection that I almost came right then and there. 

The sound of footsteps shuffling and a TV suddenly turning on had us breaking apart. We looked toward the door then back at each other as Dianna playfully pushed at my shoulder.

‘You’re too loud,’ she whispered.

I scoffed, keeping my voice low as I raised up on one arm. ‘I’m too loud? You’re too loud.’

The smile she gave me was the first real one I had seen in weeks.

She glanced at the door then back to me, biting her kiss swollen lower lip. My gaze snagged on her mouth and I was drawn back in. I lowered my head, but her hand pressing against my chest stopped me. She giggled and said, ‘We probably shouldn’t have loud make -out sessions in a house with superbeings.’ 

I nodded once even though every fiber in my being rebelled. ‘You’re right.’

‘I mean they did offer their home and help us. It feels rude to keep them awake because you’re too loud.’

I saw that mischievous glint in her eyes as she joked with me. I couldn’t have kept the smile from my face even if I’d wanted to. I never could with her.

‘Me?’

She nodded as she slipped out from under me, the feel of her body sliding against mine making me bite back another groan. She grinned knowingly before turning to face the bedroom door.

I cleared my throat and said, ‘I mean it’s quite rude.’

I settled behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her back against me. Dianna wiggled as she got settled. A jolt of pleasure ran through my body as the curve of her ass rubbed against my cock. She had me throbbing, and she’d barely even touched me. The woman was pure evil. My eyes closed as my head fell into the crook of her neck, a slight groan escaping me at the intense pleasure that shot through me.

‘Dianna.’

‘Hmm?’ she asked as she rubbed against me another time. My hand immediately flew to her hip, putting a stop to her current torture.

‘Bad girl.’

‘What are you talking about? I’m just getting comfortable.’

I popped her ass lightly enough not to sting but hard enough to get a small squeal from her. ‘You know what you’re doing,’ I whispered in her ear as my grip tightened on her hips.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Very well. Two could play at that game and I loved a challenge.

My hand splayed on her hip the tips of my fingers brushing against the oversized shirt she wore.

‘Earlier you wished for me not to touch you. Is that still your wish?’

Her head turned towards mine, her breath tickling my lips.

I heard her swallow as she regarded me. She reached back and caressed the side of my face. ‘No.’

‘Very well.’ I slipped my hand beneath the thin fabric of her shirt. My fingers spread wide as I ran them over her ribs and higher. ‘But you’ll have to be quiet. It’s a small house.’

Her smile slowly died, that perfect mouth opening slightly as my hand ran over the curve of first one breast, then the other, cupping them and squeezing firmly. Her eyes fluttered closed and her moans was more of an exhale as I ran my fingers over her nipples, teasing them to tight small points. 

I changed my mind. Her laugh was my second favorite noise.

She pressed her head back against me as I tugged and pinched one nipple than the next. She ground against me, moaning again. It was a soft whisper of what I knew I could make her feel. Pure, exquisite pleasure burst inside of me every time she moved against me, her ass brushing against my already aching cock, and I reveled in it. But it was not my pleasure that I was interested in tonight. I just wanted to give her some joy amongst all the pain she had endured at the hands of Kaden, me, anyone.

She turned her head and teased her mouth along the line of my jaw, my neck, any part she could reach, setting my body on fire. Her fingers gripped at my hair as she curved her body further into mine.

‘You know, I was not truthful earlier,’ I whispered, my hand slipping from beneath her shirt.

‘Hmm?’

‘You have the most phenomenal ass.’ I snaked my hand under the waistband of her pajama pants. My hand curving before I cupped one cheek eliciting another softer moan from her. ‘I am almost ashamed to admit how many times I have looked at it, fantasized about it.’

She pushed into my hand, her breathing quickening. A smile formed on my face. So that’s what my Dianna liked? She liked to hear words as seductive as her. Very well.

‘Do you wish to know why I avoided you? Why I couldn’t bear to spend another night beside you?’

Her lips fell from the side of my neck, her nose scraping against the stubble on my jaw as she looked up at me. The burning embers in the depths of her eyes lit up the room, and my entire world. She nodded once, her hand still lightly resting against my face.

‘Because I could not lie there, close to you, and not wish to be inside you.’

I inserted my knee between her thighs and lifted, opening her for me. My hand dipped between her legs and she gasped as my hand found her more than wet.

‘Is this all for me Dianna?’ I ask as she grows even more slick beneath my hand.

She nods desperately, her eyes squeezing shut as my fingers run from her entrance to her clit and back. Her hips move in tandem with me before she bites her lower lip. Slowly and deliberately I tease her before I dip a single finger inside. Her pussy clenches around the single digit right as a heady moan escaped her lips, much louder this time.

‘Shh.’ I reach up with my free hand, cupping her mouth as I whisper in her ear. ‘Do you wish to wake the entire neighborhood?’

I didn’t give her a chance to respond as I drove my finger deeper inside of her. She was already more than wet, but I moved slowly, not wanting to hurt her. She didn’t need any more pain. She had endured enough. She ground against my hand, stopping briefly as I slipped the single finger out to the tip before adding another inside of her. Her head falls back the veins in her neck displaying as she moans hard against the hand over her mouth. She reaches up, holding on to my arm as she bears down on my hand, begging for more.

My lips brush the shell of her ear. ‘Feels good, doesn’t it?’

Her response was muffled as she moaned against my hand but the clenching I felt around my fingers at my question was more than enough of an answer.

‘Would you like to see what else I can do, Dianna?’

A sharp nod was my response and I felt my power radiate through my veins, pulsating with heat.

‘I told you before that I could make it hurt if I wanted it to, but I can also make it feel like this.’

She froze for a moment as she felt that invisible power, like second hands, slide over her breasts. Her eyes widened and she clenched hard around my fingers before her eyes rolled back as I sent that invisible force to her clit.

I wanted to see if Dianna had the same sensitive spot as my lovers before. I curved my fingers inside her, her hand tightening around my arm as I pumped harder. A deep moan vibrated against my hand as her movements became feverish.

‘Yes.’ I nipped at the skin at her neck causing another whimper as I spoke ‘Ride my fingers like you’ll ride my cock when I take you beneath the stars.’

She did, pressing her ass back against me as I lifted my knee higher, opening her more. Her body trembled as she bore down, my fingers meeting her every thrust, pushing deeper inside of her. My magic teased at her clit, licking and sucking. Her breath was coming in small harsh pants against my palm, her grip painfully tight on my arm. She arched into me and her body tensed as she reached her peak and was released. Her body shook and bent against me. The walls of her pussy clenching tightly around my fingers as I continued to draw every last bit of orgasm out of her. Her head fell into the crook of my shoulder, the white of her eyes showing as her eyelids fluttered. Transfixed, I watched as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. Hungry for more, I moved the power against her clit again, causing her to moan as another tremor ripped through her. I swore she screamed my name into my palm.

It was addicting to watch her pleasure and know it was only for me.

I waited for a few moments before carefully withdrawing my fingers from inside her. I brushed kisses along her shoulder and neck as I removed my hand from her mouth. She sagged against me before turning her head to look at me.

‘I’ll never admit to how amazing that was.’ She panted. ‘Your ego is already large enough.’

I smiled and slipped my hand from beneath her pajama pants before pulling them up.

‘That was only my hands. How deprived are you, my Dianna?’

Something flashed behind her eyes, her smile fading slightly as her eyes searched mine.

‘What?’ I asked, hoping I hadn’t just offended her. I was merely joking.

She shook her head. ‘Nothing.’

I watched as she turned fully toward me. That all too familiar mischievous glint lighting her eyes. I grabbed her wrist as I felt her fingers reach for the waistband of my pants. 

‘Not tonight. We have to leave early, remember?’

She looked confused. ‘Are you sure? It would only take me five minutes.’

I couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Dianna, if you touch me, I promise that neither of us will sleep tonight. I am barely hanging onto my control, and the first time I take you, I do not want either of us to have to worry about being quiet.’ I pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘Go to sleep.’

She smiled, truly smiled again as she nestled her hands beneath the pillow under her head. ‘Yes, Your Highness.’ She closed her eyes. I watched her for a moment before grabbing the large blanket and covering us both with it. I laid down facing her, watching her sleep. I listened to the rhythmic beat of her heart as she slumbered.

She was safe and whole. My dreams had come to fruition, but I hadn’t lost her and she hadn’t died. A part of my heart sang, knowing she was okay while another part stirred with emotions I barely recognized. I watched her sleep as long as I could before my eyes forced themselves to close. No matter how much peace I’d found tonight, the nightmares still came.