The Blind Witch

Below are the whispers made by Nyx as well as my thoughts behind them. Some are self-explanatory, but some hold back stories that I never revealed in this book. I hope you enjoy it!

Darkness... That is all there was. Not a single beam of light could pierce it. It disoriented the senses. To touch the darkness, you give up a part of yourself. You become more than yourself. The darkness takes hold and grips the soul. Once in it, there is no escaping. Hope is the only thing keeping the darkness from devouring everything. Will she sink, giving into the darkness? Or will she rise above it, conquering it?

This was Nyx wondering what the future held for Clarissa. She had given part of her own darkness to the girl when she was created. She needed someone to save her from Erebus. She needed a witch who had the strength to push through the darkness, conquering it as her own. Her previous attempts had failed, and Erebus was closing in on Nyx.

Pride makes men weak. They think they can control the darkness, control the depths of the unknown. But when they sleep at night, they fear the darkest corners of their rooms.

This whisper was more of a thought that was conveyed to Clarissa. Nyx had spent much of her life dealing with the pride of the men and gods. But, in the end, their pride would always fall away when she was near. They could not control her nor her darkness.

Fear is only natural. Any intrusions or changes are scary. Even in the darkness, flashes of light spring out. It causes panic. But calm follows. Steel your heart to your fear. See past it.

This was the first whisper meant to push Clarissa down her path of conquering the darkness. It is alright to have fear, but she needed to overcome it, even something as small as storms. If she could not overcome the sound of thunder or the brightness of lightning, she would never be able to overcome Erebus.

To be blessed by the darkness is seen as a curse to those who fear the dark and all that lies within.

Nyx had seen how others feared those blessed by her magic. It was unnatural. Mortals were weary of the shadows and darkness that her witches held. Her magic was not meant to be spread to anyone other than the gods. She had not meant for others to be able to harness her powers. It was a fluke, but she did not regret it. She had escaped Erebus. But, she had not realized that her witches were what called to him. They were the reason he found her.

Darkness spreads like wildfire. You are never alone in it; there are more like you. There were many before you in the darkness, and there will be many after you.

This is referring to the many witches of the Coven of Stardust, who were in the darkness long before Clarissa. But, it also eludes to more witches coming after her. It also eludes to Clarissa's decision to bring back the Coven of Stardust.

Do you not feel the darkness call to you, child? I feel it. It envelops me, like a warm embrace. You were made for it, just as I was.

She wanted Clarissa to feel the darkness. Nyx needed her to embrace it. Time was running out. She could feel Erebus was near. She could hear his whispers. She needed Clarissa to accept her destiny and power.

The darkness may seem like a destructive force, but things survive in it. Histories survive. Listen. They are out there, speaking to you.

This is a foreshadowing of the chapter where Clarissa first goes to Thresnora. She needed to listen to the histories. She needed to learn about Erebus. Nyx could not explain it to her; their connection was still weak in this early chapter. Only after Clarissa learned of Erebus did her connection to Nyx grow stronger. From chapter 22 and on, the whispers become less vague and more direct because of this.

There are many who worship the darkness, but not everyone knows what they truly pray to.

This involves those from the Coven of Stardust who broke away from Nyx and began to pray to Erebus. As well as the vampires. They sought the destructive nature of the darkness. But this only happened once Erebus landed on Earth. The Coven of Stardust splintered because of that fallen star.

Hope. I remember the feeling. I remember it felt like my own light, deep in my soul. It kept me from being swallowed whole. It saved me from drowning. Until I lost it. I lost hope. Once it was gone, I was gone. There is no coming back.

This was Nyx talking to Clarissa about not losing hope. Clarissa needed to stay strong. This was the chapter where she received the sword from Victor, the first time that Victor called Edith "your mother" to Clarissa. I did not type it out, but it helped to give her hope. Hope that things could change, that she could be stronger, that she could make a difference.

I was once part of something greater. But I can’t remember it. Everything blurs together. I was a creator. They called me a God.

Nyx has lived a long life. She may not have been an ancient god, but she was still a god. She was eternal. Her whole life blurred within her thoughts. Some things she could remember, but some things she could not. But she remembered the essence of who she was; of who she used to be.

They fear you, child. You are the fire that will level the Earth and the darkness that will consume it.

This was more of a warning to Clarissa. A warning of what she could do, should she be consumed by the darkness. She has the power to destroy the Earth; the only thing that holds her back is hope.

They say that darkness consumes, but they forget fear does too. It is just as contagious. It takes hold and suffocates you. You were not meant to dwell on fear.

Another reminder about fear. Not just her fear, but the fear that others held. She could not be destroyed by it, so neither could those around her. It would only drag Clarissa further into the darkness.

You are a creator too. You just don’t realize it. Fire and darkness. Ruinous and violent. It takes a steady hand to create wonders.

This is the first hint of what Clarissa could do. Because Nyx gave Clarissa a piece of her own darkness, she has the essence of a goddess within her. This darkness could be destructive, as mentioned in previous whispers. But it could also create new and beautiful things.

Darkness can be fed so it spreads faster. Shadows can be extended. But the eternal darkness can grow too quickly. You must not fall as I did, child. You must not fall to him.

A warning about Erebus. This is also the first chapter he is mentioned by name by those from the Requiem Coven. They know who he is, they know what he wants. Or so they think. What they don't realize is that Erebus was there for a reason. He wanted Nyx. He would destroy the Earth to get her; she was his ultimate goal.

I sometimes wish the darkness never chose me. But who was I, a lowly servant to the Gods, to say no? Perhaps you shall be different. Do you have the strength to defy them?

At first, Nyx was created to serve the gods, specifically, the ancient god whom she called father - Uddum. But he saw her potential. She would become his heir for all of his power and might. Who was she to say no? Who was she to tell her ancient father no?

I escaped him once and went to the edges of the universe. He was overwhelming me - suffocating me. I needed to escape. But I failed. He found me.

This was the first time Nyx expressed that she escaped Erebus. What she withheld from Clarissa was that she and Erebus loved one another. They had been together for nearly a million years. But he wanted more. He wanted things that she did not want. It was only much later that the veil of love fell, and she saw him for the man he was.

Being eternal can take its toll. You are always hungry, always thirsty. That is why the darkness is ever reaching, always growing, trying to satisfy the emptiness.

Living "forever" makes you feel empty. As a god she was living with it. But she also saw this with Erebus. He always wanted more, even when she didn't.

I loved him once. I thought he loved me. But I was just fuel for his ambitions. Nothing more.

And there it is! Revealing the love that Nyx and Erebus had for one another. But Erebus used her. She had powers that intensified his own. He used her, most of which she did not even notice. Love made her blind.

There was another before you, one who I tried to fuse my soul with. But she was too weak, or I too strong. And yet, when I split my soul from hers, she was left with a sliver of my power.

This was about Lydia. She was an oracle before Clarissa, but she was not born an oracle. She was born blessed by the Goddess Frigg. She was meant to be a healer. But she was a descendant of the Coven of Stardust. She could take on some of Nyx's power, or so Nyx thought. Lydia was not strong enough. She was being swallowed by the darkness when Nyx pulled back. But, it left Lydia blind and with nightmares.

You are stronger than him. His darkness is but a mist, feathering through the wind. You are eternal, you are ruinous. Show him.

A reminder of her power. Nyx was always stronger than Erebus. This meant that Clarissa was stronger than him; she just needed to show him. He needed to see her be destructive. Nyx needed him to fear Clarissa.

Darkness is not the end, as Erebus thinks. It generates new life, new worlds, new beginnings. I created universes in my long, forgotten past. I filled the darkness I made. His goal is to conquer, yet mine has been to create. I wish I had seen what he would become. I would not have nourished his gifts. I would not have nourished the love that developed between us—so many regrets.

Nyx may have been the heir to the previous God of Darkness, but she was not the only one created for it. When the other gods saw what Nyx could do, they created their own gods of darkness. Erebus was one of those created. Nyx's father refused to train him or any others that were not Nyx. But she secretly took Erebus under her wing. She trained him and spent time with him. This fostered the love that sparked between them. And though she became the Goddess of the night, eternal darkness, and shadows, she took him as her consort.

Guilt is an interesting mortal emotion. You have regret mixed with internal pain. I wish I could have done things differently. But there were so many little flickers of hope and happiness that were created because of my actions. I can only hope that, in the end, you do not feel the guilt that I bear.

Nyx regretted what she did. She helped to create Erebus, even if she was unaware of what she was doing. But even though she felt guilty for it, there were happy moments with him that she did not regret. They did love one another, after all. Now that the battle was here, she only hoped that Clarissa did not end up with the same guilt.

The only way to stop the destruction is to end Erebus. His death will cause no tears. I mourned his death long ago when the man I knew changed. His magic, his power, lies within his heart.

She knew how to kill Erebus. She always knew. But she could not bring herself to kill him. She loved him, no matter how much she tried to push him away. No matter how far away she got from him, she still loved him. She loved the way he used to be before he was taken over by greed and power.

Darkness. I can feel it. It feels... free. The choking grip has loosened. I can breathe again. Thank you.

With Erebus' death, Nyx was able to move freely within the darkness again for the first time in many thousands of years. The darkness was no longer a weapon. She was free.

I am glad I did not have to feel guilty over making you my oracle. But it was not just me that had a hand in this success; other gods blessed you throughout your life, ensuring you got here.

It was not just Nyx who helped get Clarissa to where she was. The Goddess Bil mated her to Aiden purposefully. The Goddess Frigg helped to protect her. And then there was the God Inti. Clarissa was not meant to have two gods bless her with powers. It was just supposed to be Nyx. Her magic was supposed to be like Victor's. But Inti gave her part of a sun. She needed more strength than that of the shadows. She needed fire.

The darkness has consumed; now you must help create life to fill the void. Do not let the darkness be empty. You are a creator. You are my successor.

Many will think this refers to her having children, but not really. After years of running and hiding, Nyx is nearing the end of her life. Just as her ancient father before, she needed an heir. She needed someone who could carry the darkness, use it create new life, new worlds. Clarissa could do this. She would not be swallowed and lost to it. She is to be a goddess.