The Beast's Possession

**Bane

pov**

"Aife is my chosen Luna," I whispered, the words feeling like they were stuck in my throat. "She is the only woman who has been able to accept me the way I am, even after the dreadful things I have done to her. In all honesty, I'm not here to tell you my life story, but I can admit some things. I don't deserve her. Even a hair on her head - I don't deserve it. But I'm selfish and I'm still holding onto her as if she's my lifeline."

I had no idea why I was telling this stranger those things. A stranger that harbored such deep hatred for me, but I still did. Maybe deep down, I knew I had to say those words to someone, just to make them more real.

My thoughts were one thing. I could admit many things to myself, in the privacy of my head, never to be spoken out loud. But now, I needed to admit it all to someone and she just happened to be the person who agreed to talk to me now. "Oh," the nurse breathed out and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't look at me, nor offer me the pitiful gaze that others would, so I appreciated that. "If she is your chosen Luna, if she wants to be with you, why are you saying those things? I don't mind to pry too much, it's none of my business, but I can't help but wonder. Clearly, no matter how bad you were with her, she's with you for a reason, right?"

A funny thing life was. A leader, a feared man, an Alpha, laying on the bed as helpless as I was, coming clean with a stranger who had a damn point.

I never really thought of this too much. A part of me sometimes feared that Aife was with me because she feared me or pitied the man I was. But the nurse, she really had a point.

If Aife didn't want to be with me, she wouldn't. Now that I was gone and the whole pack looked at her like Luna, not a reject, she had every chance to leave and disappear. At any given moment, she could up and go, and no one could stop her. Not now that she had the voice of a Luna.

I gave her that power. I knew the risk and took it. And she.. Well, she proved all over again that she could be trusted, that she stayed because she wanted to.

"I guess you're right," I chuckled in an attempt to make a light out of this situation. "I guess I'm saying those things because deep down, I know I don't deserve her, that's all."

"But why?" She kept pressing, growing a little impatient. "Why are you so hard on yourself? Let's discuss this as two completely neutral strangers, shall we? I will pretend I don't know who you are and I haven't heard the stories about you." I raised an eyebrow at her just as the nurse turned her whole body to face me. "So, do we have a deal?" She asked.

A little hesitant, I nodded. After all, I was the one who wanted to talk, right? Maybe initially, I didn't weigh the risks of which direction the conversation might flow, but I still started it so backing out would be a true coward move. "Alright, we have a deal. Ask away then."

She flashed me a quick, reassuring smile and placed her hands in her lap. "Let's start with the easiest question then. Why are you so hard on yourself? I don't want to assume anything, but to me, it looks like you harbor a very deep, unexplainable hatred for yourself. It's not healthy so let's get to the bottom of this madness."

I gave her a quick once-over and pondered the question for a second or two. The thing was that I already knew the answer. I had always known. But admitting it out loud felt like the worst nightmare, the biggest fear. And yet, somehow I had found myself in a situation where I was about to admit that all willingly, to a complete stranger, as if saying those words wouldn't fuck me over even worse than I already was.

Clearing my throat, I shook my head, still in disbelief that I was actually doing this. "The hatred, it's there. It's not something I chose to do or decided one day that it would be cool to hate myself. Nope. It's not up to me, is what I'm trying to say. It's been there, deep within me since the day I was born. Call it a curse of a bloodline, if you may."

A part of me wished she wouldn't have more questions while the other was eager to keep answering. I felt like an excited kid on Christmas day, facing the presents that were left under the tree only for me. It was an odd feeling, but in a way, fulfilling.

Coming clean with someone was hard for anyone, but for me, it was freeing. Like I could finally answer the questions I had asked myself time and time again without knowing answers, but now, they all came to me.

"Is that what that man is?" The nurse asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I stared at her like an idiot, unable to process what she was asking me. "Huh?" Was the only thing I could say. Unless she explained, I doubted I would catch on her trail of thoughts.

"Oh, sorry, I guess I should add more to that question," she waved me off and giggled. How we went from mortal enemies to some sort of friends in a matter of minutes was beyond me. One moment she was scared and now, she joked around. "What I meant was that man that surfaces when you're asleep. You know, the one with mad red eyes, the one who demands blood and all that."

The tips of her ears turned bright red the moment the last word escaped her lips. I would assume she felt self-conscious all of a sudden or maybe she feared that she was digging too deep in my business.

"I guess you can put it like that. A curse of bloodline, yeah, sounds pretty accurate," I answered as nonchalantly as I could.

The last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable or scare her away. At this point, she was the only person who could waste some time with me and rid me of the sense of loneliness that I really didn't want to experience. Before Aife came into my life, I didn't mind the loneliness. In fact, I welcomed it. I never let myself think that I deserved anyone, especially as kind as her. But after every mistake I made, after the abuse I inflicted and countless times I hurt her, Aife still showed me kindness and love.

Aife proved to me that I was more than I thought I was. She showed me kindness I had never seen, she made a point to let me know that love came without conditions, without expectations and demands.

She was so gentle, so pure and beautiful, just thinking about her made butterflies go to war in my stomach. The image she etched in my mind was something that always made me feel incredibly warm and even happy. Happiness.. Wow, who would have thought that someone like me would experience it. Who would have thought that I deserved even a fraction of what Aife gave me..

"So, in that case, hmm," the nurse dragged the words, making sure she spoke slowly enough for me to catch on every word and pay attention to what she had to say. "I don't see a reason why you should hate yourself." She announced and got to her feet, walking towards the door.

As soon as she stopped in front of it and grabbed the handle, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled. "For one, if it means anything, after talking to you, I know you're not half as bad as I thought. Also, let this be something you need to think about why would you hate yourself for something that isn't your fault? Something you can't change or control.. Just think about it. Oh, and don't forget to take the medicine after each meal, the kitchen staff will bring you some food shortly."

As I watched her exit the room, I was too stunned to speak. Once again, she had a damn point. Why have I been blaming myself for something that was completely out of my control? Something I didn't cause, a curse I didn't earn..